Who doesn’t want to have crazy acrobatic “Wow my shoulder can do that?” sex? Everyone wants that! But, TBH, often it can be that much harder to orgasm when you’re wrapped up in making sure you don’t accidentally pull a hammy. No, sex isn’t just about the orgasm, but it sure is nice when you have one (or multiple, especially given the female orgasm gap. The best way to figure out your body is through experience and practice, so don’t be afraid to give it a few tries.

“Trying to accomplish complicated acrobatics distracts you from the sex itself, putting your focus on how you can contort yourself, rather than on just experiencing the sensations,” explains sex educator Dorian Solot, coauthor of I (Heart) Female Orgasm. “When you want to climax, the simplest positions are often also the best positions.” To help you get there, here are 23 sex positions recommended by experts to make sure your orgasm is the main event.


1. The Peace Out


Sit in a chair and have your partner put two fingers on either side of your clitoris, scissoring their fingers together while gently licking or sucking the tip of your clit. “This allows for maximal stimulation to the clitoris, both the sides and the head at the same time,” which can send you over the moon, FAST, explains Laurel Steinberg, PhD, a professor of sexology and relationship expert.

2. The Banana Split


Your partner thrusts into you from behind as you’re on your belly with your head down. Not only does this allow for deeper penetration, but you can have them knead or spank your butt for improved orgasm. This position is great if you’re a little nervous about letting your partner see your O-face too, says Steinberg.

3. The Backward Swoon


Bouncing off your partner can create a feeling that some women find to be super intense (in a good way, obvs) and leaves the external part of your clit exposed and ready to be stroked with a finger or toy, adds Steinberg. Have your partner thrust into you while they kneel and grab your hips so your thighs rest on their lap. Meanwhile, you go to town on your clit with your favorite vibe, for a nearly foolproof way to ensure you get yours too (or three times) (or four).

4. The Greasy Spoon


Think regs spoon sex but deeper and hotter by moving the party to the couch and hooking your top leg over the top of the cushions. The extra space also allows you prime real estate to move your hands or your partner’s hands to your clitoris for maximum oomph. It also allows your bodies to be close and generate warmth and intimacy, says Rachel Needle, PsyD, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist in West Palm Beach, Florida.

5. The Armchair Traveler


Another good couch position, the Armchair Traveler has you on your knees and bent over, holding onto the couch arm while your partner enters you from behind. If you want to take control, you can also have your partner stay still while you thrust backward into them, using the couch arm for leverage while you thrust. This angle can allow for deep penetration and your mind is free to focus on your arousal or any fantasy you choose, adds Needle.

6. The In and Out


To add more directed friction to woman-on top, try pulling out a few times so they’re completely outside you and slide your lubed-up vulva over the underside of their penis. Experiment with long up-and-down strokes over their shaft, short side-to-side motions, or rub the head of their penis around your clitoris to see what’s gonna do it for you. They’ll last longer and you will get more intense stimulation exactly where you want it. And when they’re inside you, keep it going. Candice Smith, a sex expert and cofounder of TheKinkKit, says to move your body like you’re dancing—aka swiveling those hips a lot!

7. The Lap of Luxury


Being on top has loads of benefits—according to sexpert Layla Martin and author of Wild Woman in the Bedroom, “You have more control over the speed, angle, and intensity, so it makes it easier to keep it at a rhythm that’s really doing it for you. Your vulva and clitoris are also very accessible, and the vast majority of women find intercourse much more pleasurable if they are also stroking or being stroked in this area.” But for an upgrade on the classic, try sitting your partner down on a chair and climbing on top. There’s something super intimate about sitting on your partner’s lap and being able to be held during sex. And if you are a little shy about self-stimulation, you can always flip around and make the no-eye contact thing your friend. The best part is you can feel totally hands-free as your partner stimulates you, really putting you over the edge.

8. The Steam Room


Shower sex just feels special—there’s a sexy new couple energy to it and if there’s a detachable showerhead in there, it’ll be just as orgasmic as it is cinematic. According to sex therapist Vanessa Marin, “Most people want to try it because they’ve seen a hot shower sex scene on TV or in a movie, but you have to keep in mind that there’s an entire crew making sure that scene looks effortlessly sexy.” For a feasible shower orgasm, direct the shower spray between your legs while your partner enters from behind. Use a silicone-based lube (water-based will rinse right off) and hold onto something sturdy—you’ll need it.

9. The Supercharged Spread


According to Carol Queen, staff sexologist at Good Vibrations, the clitoris and vulva contain nerve endings that are particularly responsive to the sensation of vibration, so if hand stimulation isn’t quite enough to get to you there, that trusty vibrator ought to do the trick. A vibe can also help with any performance anxiety—it’s harder to worry about whatever when you’ve got a turbo-charged sex machine between your legs (or two, depending on your partner). Your partner holds your ankles—pressing them close for a tighter-feeling fit and spreading them wide for an “OMG, you feel huge” effect.

10. The Eagle


Why is the classic oral pose so damn good? “It’s a relaxed position for the person receiving pleasure, allowing them to lie back and focus on the sensations,” say adult film performer Jiz Lee, who knows of such things. “With feet grounded, they can tilt the pelvis or lift their legs to change things up. I recommend folding a pillow under the hips to reduce the angle required of the giver’s neck. It can also allow for eye contact between partners.” Lee also recommends a sex wedge pillow for better angling or switching up the position with giver kneeling on the floor by the bed, receiver lying with hips at the edge, feet over their partner’s shoulders.

11. Cowgirl Style


Sex therapist Susan Block is all-in with woman-on-top, because you can stimulate your clitoris without losing momentum. “Rather than lying there wondering when they’re going to thrust in perfect time with your erotic needs, you can set the rhythm and take them in as deep or as shallow as you like. Or if you prefer, stay perfectly still (you can do it—you’re on top!) and tantalize both of you by squeezing and releasing your Kegel muscles,” says Block. “You can bend over, give them a kiss, and rub your chest against them or sit up and let them have a good look at your gorgeous self, maybe play with your boobs…or reach behind you to squeeze or spank your bottom. Really, the possibilities are endless.”

12. Pushin’ the Cushion


Get on your knees in front of the couch and drape your torso over the cushions in a sort of modified doggie where you’re kinda humping the couch as well. “The key here is to press your vulva against a throw pillow that, in turn, is pressed against a high-powered vibe against the couch. And I mean turn that Hitachi Magic Wand all the way up,” recommends/commands Trisha Borowicz, orgasm equality blogger and director of Science Sex and the Ladies. “Your partner should allow you to get consistent pressure and grinding against the vibrating pillow while they move inside you so you have the clit stimulation you need in order to orgasm. Don’t be shy about telling them exactly how to accomplish that. Also, maybe don’t use the nice throw pillow.”

13. The Sticky Scissor


“Lie perpendicular to each other with you on your back and them facing you on their side. One of your legs goes between theirs and the other is draped over their hips. This allows their top leg to be angled so it’s pressed against your vulva while they’re inside you,” says Borowicz. “While they’re slowly pumping, you can can grind up against their inner thigh to get the clit stimulation you need to come (feel free to use your hands to press their leg down against you and angle it just right…or alternatively just have them move their leg out of the way a bit and use your vibe).”

14. The Up and Over


Missionary position will never be the same again. “While on your back, put a pillow under your butt, lift your hips, and bring your legs up and back toward your shoulders, as though you’re folding in half,” says Solot. This move allows your partner better ease of thrusting and deeper penetration—a perk for both of you. But consider this a warm-up—you’re getting yourself primed for a more intense orgasm. Once you feel like you’re getting into a groove, put your legs down and have them get into coital-alignment-technique (CAT) position. “They’re on top, but they lift their pelvic bone upward, aligning it with your clitoris,” says sex therapist Gloria Brame, PhD. “Then they rock against the area until you peak. The legs-up position is a slow burn that brings you to the brink and increases sensitivity. Then the addition of clitoral rubbing takes you over the edge in a bigger way than if you had done CAT alone,” adds Brame.

15. The Down but Not Out


You’ve probably tried an all-fours pose before, and while doggie-style is inarguably hotter than hot, in order to make it extra orgasmic, you need to modify it a bit. “Lie on your stomach, lifting your butt slightly so they can enter you,” suggests Solot. “Your partner can prop themselves up with their hands in a push-up position or lie on top of you.” Not only does this facedown configuration provide increased friction as they move in and out, but you can gently grind your clitoral area against the bed as well.

16. The Lusty Leg Wrap


With all the twisting and bending that goes on, sometimes sex can feel more like your cardio day at the gym than something designed to get you off. That’s why it’s important to have at least one relaxed orgasm-inducing position in your repertoire. Such as this: “While you’re on your back, they should lie on their side, turned toward you,” explains Solot. “Swing both legs over their hips and thighs, making a bridge over them.” Then, just let them gently thrust into you. If it takes you a while to climax, this pose is ideal. “It’s not very aerobic, so the sex can go on for a long time without either of you tiring out,” says Laura Berman, PhD, director of the Berman Center and author of The Passion Prescription. “When you want to climax, it’s easy to touch yourself or they can use their top hand to stimulate you.”

17. On Top of the World


Being on top tends to be a go-to for achieving orgasm and for good reason. “It allows you to dictate the pace and depth of thrusting, but mainly, you have easy access to your clitoris,” says Berman. “You can touch , have them touch it, or rub against their pubic bone to achieve orgasm.” But you can up the ante by literally pulling a 180. Twist around so you’re pointed toward their feet in reverse-cowgirl position. “Instead of straddling them, put your legs together, feet flat between their legs,” suggests Brame. The benefits of this are twofold: With your legs together, the fit is even tighter, making the sensations more intense. Plus, there’s increased internal stimulation, which combined with your own clitoral strokes, makes for an explosive orgasm.

18. Table for Two


In some cases, a simple change of scenery can aid in achieving orgasm. For this move, you’ll need a kitchen table—one that comes to your partner’s waist. “Lie down on the table with your butt near the edge,” suggests Solot. “They enter you while standing between your legs, holding on to your hips for leverage.” You can rest your feet on their shoulders or on the edge of the table. Because they’re standing, their hands are free to stroke your body,” says Brame. “And they’re at a perpendicular angle, rather than right on top of you, making it easier for them to touch your clitoris, unobstructed.” To up your odds of orgasming, clench and lift up your butt, which will increase the pelvic tension and blood flow to the area.

19. The Sit and Straddle


Have your partner sit, and straddle them so you’re face-to-face. “You have a lot of control over the speed, angle, and motion because you can use your arms and legs to help you maneuver,” says Berman. “Rather than just moving up and down, which can be especially tiring, sway forward and back, rubbing your clitoral area against them.” In addition to the freedom of movement, there are a few other benefits to this move. “If you lean back just a little bit, you’ll get greater internal stimulation and they’ll be able to play with your clitoris,” Brame explains. Plus, your breasts will be perfectly aligned with their mouth, adding a whole other layer to the sexual experience. Seriously, don’t neglect the boobs, people.

20. The Sweet Spoons


Emotional attachment to your partner can absolutely play a role in orgasm. If that sounds like you, there’s no configuration that’s more snuggly than the spoon. To assume the position, simply lie on your side, your dude scooted up behind you. Rather than move in and out, they should stay inside you, gently thrusting against the front wall of your vagina. “Aside from fulfilling your cuddly needs, it provides consistent stimulation, which is key for achieving orgasm from intercourse,” Berman points out. “Since they may not be able to penetrate you as deeply though, guide their hand around your .” And just think: Once you’ve both climaxed, you’ll be in perfect postcoital cuddle position too.

21. The Girl Power


Riding them is all kinds of fun, but take it further by leaning forward and more actively taking them in, sort of like a mix between missionary and cowgirl. It feels way tighter, you can grind against them as you please, and add a vibrator to the mix. A variation of this is the Amazon sex position, where the partner in table top has their legs more bent. Sex and relationship expert Antonia Hall, author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life, says that what’s great about this position is that you might only need a few hip adjustments to really hit that sweet spot.

22. The Slip N’ Slide


Tweak missionary by straightening your legs and pressing them tightly together. Instead of pumping, grind against your partner’s pelvis and slide your vulva against and down their shaft. Sooooo much slippery friction, and if you’re not getting enough, go ahead and slide your lubed-up hand between your bodies for more focused attention. Once they do go in, it’s a great angle for both internal and clitoral stimulation. “Your partner can carefully angle their penis so that it’s rubbing against your clitoris as they move in and out,” Hall says. She adds that it’s also a good position for using a couples vibrator or cock ring, if you want even more clitoral stimulation.

23. The Edge of Your Seat


For some among us, nothing’s gonna be happening unless there is some serious hand rubbing and/or toy-buzzing happening, and the best way to make sure you have an orgasm is to just DIY it. “Masturbating yourself to orgasm before sex can be incredibly sexy for your partner to watch and will ready your body for penetration and any additional orgasms,” Hall says. She says that it’s also a great way for them to learn how you like to be touched, and what gets you to orgasm. So embrace it: Not only does your partner get to see what really makes you lose it (which in turn, makes it hotter for you), but you also get to have exactly the kind of orgasm you want.

This article was originally published in 2014 and has been updated.


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Jill Hamilton Jilll Hamilton is a contributor for Cosmopolitan.com and writes the blog In Bed With Married Women. Carina Hsieh Sex & Relationships Editor Carina Hsieh lives in NYC with her French Bulldog Bao Bao — follow her on Instagram and Twitter • Candace Bushnell once called her the Samantha Jones of Tinder • She enjoys hanging out in the candle aisle of TJ Maxx and getting lost in Amazon spirals.

As the classic comedy Clerks famously quipped, it’s simple for men to reach orgasm. (“Insert somewhere close and preferably moist; thrust; repeat.”)

But for her to reach the big O? Count the ways.

According to research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, vaginal and clitoral orgasms are separate sensations. But don’t obsess over the source of her pleasure, though—just try something new.

Interest in testing out new positions actually makes a big difference in her pleasure and her arousal, explains Jen Landa, M.D., Chief Medical Officer of BodyLogicMD and author of The Sex Drive Solution for Women.

Whether your goal is to give her a blended orgasm or target her G-spot, focus on vaginal pleasure or hone in on her clitoris, we’ve rounded up four positions that will help you perform like a pro in between the sheets.

1. All Access

Men’s Health

For ultimate access to her clitoris, try: The Pretzel aka The Camel Ride

How it works: Kneel and straddle her left leg while she’s lying on her left side. From here, she should bend her right leg around the right side of your waist—allowing full access to her vagina.

This position is an upgrade from standard missionary because this sets you up for deeper penetration and allows you to slow your roll.

“Most women find sex much more pleasurable when it’s not just constant thrusting,” says Landa.

So spend some time exploring her body. This setup gives you complete access to her clitoris for manual stimulation. But don’t feel limited to solely hands on fun.

Try withdrawing your penis and, while holding the shaft with your left hand, rub the head against her clitoris. Start out soft and slow, then as you increase speed and pressure, reinsert once you’ve brought her to the brink of an orgasm.

2. Legs on Shoulders

Men’s Health

For even deeper vaginal penetration, try: Stand and Deliver aka The Bicycle

How it works: While she’s on her back, have her drape her legs on your shoulders. The angle of her body should be roughly 90 degrees.

The legs on shoulders move should be considered a staple, as it allows for deep vaginal penetration. If standard “legs over shoulders” isn’t doing anything for her, try grabbing her butt and tilting her pelvis upward, slightly toward you. As always, ask her what feels best; a small tweak can be the difference between her not orgasming and orgasming within minutes.

Pro-tip: Wrap your arms behind her neck and upper back, lifting her up gently. It not only helps her receive deeper penetration, but also feels more intense, since it forces you both to look into each other’s eyes.

3. Cowgirl

Men’s Health

For extra stimulation: Use a clitoris sucker or vibrator on her clit.

How it works: You’re lying down on your back. She straddles you with one leg on each side of your torso.

There are numerous variations to cowgirl, and it’s worth figuring out with your partner which one works best for her. She may prefer to have her feet planted on both sides of you, so she’s squatting on you as opposed to downright riding. She may like it when she leans back because it allows for deeper penetration. She may like when you do all the thrusting—but typically, what facilitates quicker orgasms is when she’s in control. She’s the one setting the pace, how deeply you penetrate, and which angles you hit. When she’s in control, she can give herself everything she needs to orgasm.

4. Happy Baby Pose

Men’s Health

How it works: She lies on her back with her legs bent and up in the air. Her legs are slightly past shoulder-length apart, and she’s gripping the soles of her feet with her hands.

If your partner is a yogi, she’s going to appreciate bringing her yoga practice into the bedroom. And even if she’s not into yoga, she’ll appreciate the orgasm you help give her. Happy Baby Pose allows you hit to all her angles while she’s on her back. It’s also an ideal position if you want to engage her clitoris too. With one hand you can stimulate her clitoris, and with your other free hand, you can hold onto her for support.

Pro tip: Happy Baby Pose is also an ideal position for anal sex, during which you can digitally penetrate her vagina and/or play with her clitoris.

5. Child’s Pose

Men’s Health

How it works: She sits on her heels and then leans forward. While remaining on her haunches, she extends her hands forward; all the while, her back remains straight.

Since we’re already incorporating yoga into our sexual repertoire, let’s talk about child’s pose. First off, if she has a bad back, this position is great since it elongates her back muscles. Even if she doesn’t have back pain, this position is really relaxing. That’s why it’s often the neutral pose during yoga, when you need a break from doing other, more strenuous poses.

When she’s relaxed during sex, she’s more likely to have an orgasm. That’s not to say you can’t go hard in this position, you can and should if that’s what she likes, but this position is ideal for both relaxation and deep penetration.

Pro tip: Have her grip the bed frame for stability, so you can penetrate harder and deeper.

6. Set Your Target

Men’s Health

For targeting her G-Spot, try: The Standing Dragon aka Crouching Tiger, Hidden Serpent

How it works: Position her on the edge of the bed, posing on all fours. As you stand behind her, have her arch her back so it lifts her butt upward.

With your legs outside of hers, use your thighs to squeeze her knees together, which tightens her vagina around your penis. This position is ideal for G-spot stimulation and also gives you a great view of her curves.

7. Get Intense

Men’s Health

For intensifying vaginal pleasure, you should try: The Flatiron aka Downward Dog

How it works: Have her lie face down on the bed with her knees slightly bent and hips slightly raised. For comfort, and to increase the angle of her hips, you can suggest placing a pillow under her lower abs.

From here, enter her from behind and keep your weight off of her by propping yourself up with your arms. This position creates a snug fit—which intensifies her pleasure by making you feel larger to her.

(A killer tip for you: You’ll last longer in this position if you switch to shallower thrusts and deeper breaths.)

8. Double the Pleasure

Men’s Health

For optimal dual pleasure, you should try: The Pole Position aka Thighmaster

How it works: Lie on your back and bend one of your legs, keeping the other outstretched. Have her straddle the raised leg with a thigh on either side and then lower herself onto your member so that her back is facing you.

From here, she should hold your knee and use it for support as she rocks up and down.

“This position is great, because it’s a lot like the reverse cowgirl, but with a twist,” says Landa. Raising your knee allows her to rub against your thigh—which produces optimal clitoral stimulation, says Landa.

Madeline Haller I’m the social media editor for Cosmopolitan.com, as well as a self-proclaimed expert on Internet cats (tough job, but hey, someone has to do it). Zachary Zane Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS, at Civilized.

Try these best sex positions to orgasm every single time!

What are the best sex positions for female orgasm? Often forgotten in the rush for sexual pleasure between a male and female partner is her orgasm. The vast majority of women do not climax from vaginal penetration alone, and even those who do need more than the thrust of a penis in and out of their body. How a woman is touched – by her partner or herself – matters. Using sex toys, finding the right angles, and using the right sexual position all contribute to whether one or both partners will experience an orgasm during sex.

Trying new positions can feel a little stressful for some people, but it doesn’t have to. Remember that sex is meant to be about fun and pleasure. Go into new experiments with a sense of adventure and the idea that even if it doesn’t work, part of the fun is in trying something new. You won’t always like every position you try, but you don’t have to.

Climax doesn’t have to be the purpose for every intimate moment between you and a partner, but when you really want to get off, make sure you’re in the right position.


Sex Position: Missionary

There is much more to missionary position than a guy on top of a woman banging away at his partner. Small tweaks to the same old position can make a big difference. Try pulling your legs up and back towards your chest to change the angle of penetration. This may allow his penis to hit your G-spot or rub against the underside of your clitoris for additional stimulation. You can also put a hand between your legs to touch your clitoris during sex or your partner can do it for you. Another option is to keep your bodies close together during penetration to allow your partner to grind their pelvis against yours, stimulating your clit and bringing you to orgasm more easily.


Sex Position: Doggy Style

Doggy style is great for a deeper penetrative thrust. For women who need and want g-spot stimulation, being penetrated from behind often adds much more sensation. You or your partner also have the option to reach between your legs and stimulate your clitoris at the same time. To get more out of the position, bend down over the bed as far as you can go, spread your knees wide, and arch your back. Another option is to close your knees and to create more of a squeeze during penetration. Even a small, slight moment can offer a deeper thrust or change the angle enough to pound your g-spot just right.


Sex Position: Cowgirl a.k.a Woman On Top

The vast majority of women experience orgasms when they try the cowgirl position. Essentially, you’re on top of your partner, facing them. You can bend forward or arch your back to change the angle, depending on what feels good to you. You also have the ability to control the pace and the grind of your groin against your partner’s. Some guys enjoy grabbing you by the hips and holding you still while they thrust upwards – it can be a kinky way to give up control during sex. If you’re still not getting enough stimulation to your clitoris in this position, you can always dip a hand between you to stroke yourself as you ride your partner.


Sex Position: Spooning

Spooning is a very intimate sexual position. You and your partner lay on your sides, pressed against each other. He’s behind you, and your back is against his chest. With a slight tilt to your hips and pelvis, your partner penetrates your vagina from behind. For some people, the angle and position alone will be enough to hit your g-spot. For others, you or your partner can use a hand or a sex toy on your clitoris for added stimulation. This position also gives your partner better access to touch more of your body, stroking your breasts and other sensitive areas. The added sensations increase desire and overall satisfaction during sex.

5. SIXTY-NINE (69)

Sex Position: Sixty-Nine (69)

Sixty-nine has nothing to do with penetrative sex and everything to do with pleasure. Typically, the woman is on top during sixty-nine but you don’t have to be. The only thing you need to do is have your mouths on each other’s genitals. You might hear that sixty-nine is difficult to do because the pleasure you feel can distract you from giving pleasure. Turn that distraction into a game. Put all your focus into what your tongue does to your partner to see if you can make them let go and moan first. Even if you lose, you still win. Another game to play with sixty-nine is to see who gets off first. Again, there is no way to “lose” this one as the whole point is mutual pleasure and orgasms.


Sex Position: Reverse Cowgirl

Reverse Cowgirl takes the Cowgirl position and puts it on steroids. You’re on top of your partner again, but this time, you’re facing away – toward their feet. While you’re riding their cock, they get a view of your back and butt which can be a huge turn on for some people. This is a great position to increase pleasure for both of you. Your partner’s penis will be at a different angle, as will your body which means each thrust will hit in a different way than you might be used to. You’ll have a much better chance of hitting your g-spot while stimulating your clit plus you can stroke your partner’s testicles or play with their perineum at the same time.


Sex Position: Scissors

Scissoring is a more advanced position and may take a little practice to find the right angle for you and your partner. To do it, two of you lay at an angle to each other with your legs intertwined. While you may “join” at the groin, your head is closer to his feet, and his head is closer to your feet. You enjoy a lot less body contact in the Scissor position, but you also have more freedom of movement to stimulate your own clit or pinch your own nipples to increase your pleasure. Play with the position of your legs and the angle of your pelvis to find the position that works best for both of you. Because it’s a different way to have sex, you may have to try different variations to find what works for you.


Sex Position: Straddle

The straddle position allows you to lie back and experience pure pleasure at the hands of your partner. Your partner is on top, essentially straddling one of your legs while holding your other leg up. You can bend your knee and rest your foot on his shoulder or you may want to keep your leg extended against his shoulder – whichever is most comfortable for you. Either of you can use your hand or a sex toy to stimulate your clitoris while you enjoy a deeper penetration because your leg is up and extended. It also gives your partner a great view of your expressions and your body during sex and when you climax.


Sex Position: Bridge

The bridge position shouldn’t be tried by beginners or anyone who doesn’t have a certain amount of upper body strength. Just as the name suggests, you must hold your position in a lifted bridge position in order for it to work. Put your palms flat on the floor with arms extended. Stretch your legs in front of you with your heels on the floor. Your partner will kneel between your legs to penetrate you while your hips are lifted off the floor or bed. It’s best to do this position on a sturdy surface like a floor or a very firm mattress. To make it more comfortable, you can use a wedge or stack pillows under your body. Your partner will have better access to your clit to rub and play with to help get you off.

Sex is supposed to be fun and pleasurable for both you and your partner. If you’re not getting off the way you want to during sex, it’s time for a conversation with your partner and a bit of experimentation. Not every position will work for you, and some require practice. Try a new sexual position in multiple different ways and let yourself experiment a little before you decide a sex position works or doesn’t.

It’s okay to play around with sex and what kinds of positions you want to try. The whole point is to find something that makes you both feel good and gives you what you want. There are couple of popular orgasms that could happen to women. If you know you need clitoral stimulation to get off, look for positions that give you and your partner easier access to your clit and don’t be afraid to touch yourself or use a vibrator during sex. And if you love g-spot stimulation and orgasms, try positions that penetrate deeper and hit you at new or different angles. Remember, this is all about having fun and experiencing pleasure. Keep experimenting until you find the sex positions that work best for you. Have fun in your exploration!

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The Stand & Carry position is unlike virtually every other sex position. You don’t need a bed or a sofa to perform it. Instead, your man is going to be standing up for it, and he will be holding you off the ground. This won’t work for every couple, however, but we have plenty of other sex positions in our sex positions guide that will work for you.

Lifting you up is the hardest part of the Stand & Carry. It’s easiest is if you start off in a position like the Butterfly with you lying down on your back on a bed or a table while your man is standing. Your man can then lean over you, and you can put your arms around the back of his neck and wrap your legs around his waist. Your man can put his arms around your waist or butt before standing up straight while holding you.

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Alternatively, you can both start off standing and facing each other like in the Slow Dance position. While inside you, your man can put his hands around your butt/waist and pick you up. When your man picks you up you can then wrap your legs around him.

What The Girl Does In The Stand & Carry Position

When your man is holding you in the air, you need to carry some of your weight using your arms around the back of his neck. Your legs wrapped around his waist can also carry some of your weight.

Even though your man will be doing a lot of the thrusting, you can still pull yourself up and down on him. You can pull yourself up with your arms, and you can squeeze your legs against his waist to grip it so that you can move upwards. When in the Stand & Carry position, you can lean backwards quite a bit or hold yourself close to your man to change the angle he enters you at.

You want to be careful not to do anything to upset the balance of your bodies, which can cause you to fail.

My most powerful sex tricks and tips aren’t on this site. If you want to access them and give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually obsessed with you, then you can learn these secret sex techniques in my private and discreet newsletter. You’ll also learn the 5 dangerous mistakes that will ruin your sex life and relationship. Get it here.

Because you’re facing each other, you can kiss passionately to make it more intense.

What The Guy Does In The Stand & Carry Position

Your man has two jobs in the Stand & Carry position. The first is holding on to you and supporting most of your weight. The second is thrusting into you. He will be holding onto you by wrapping his hands around your waist. He can thrust into you by bending and straightening his legs. Or he can use his hips while keeping his legs fairly straight.

Things To Consider When Performing The Stand & Carry Position

Quite a few students of the Bad Girls Bible have tried out the Stand & Carry with their man. Here is some of the feedback they have given on it:

  • The Stand & Carry is tiring: performing it for more than 2-3 minutes is exhausting for both of you.
  • Try performing the Stand & Carry up against a wall, so that your back is up against it. This will help take some of your weight meaning you and your man can last longer in it. He will also be able to fuck you with more force when you are against a wall.
  • This sex position might not provide the best G-spot stimulation because you’re concerned about standing.

Variations of Stand & Carry And Similar Positions

The Stand & Carry position is going to get tiring for both of you very quickly. Fortunately, there are a bunch of very enjoyable alternatives:


If you can extend your leg straight up, you’re perfect for this position. Learn more about the Ballerina position here.


Standing on one leg means that your man doesn’t have to worry about carrying you. .

Slow Dance

Face each other in this sensual, standing position. You can learn more about the Slow Dance position here.


If he sits and you’re in his lap, it’s easier on both of you. .

You’ll also find 20 more exotic sex positions here.

Sean’s Thoughts On The Stand & Carry Sex Position

The Stand & Carry is not that difficult to perform. The only thing that it requires is that both of you have a considerable amount of strength. If your man has a bad back, then I highly recommend that he avoids the Stand & Carry as it will put a lot of strain on it.

Watch This: Blow Job Tutorial Video

I put together this in-depth, step-by-step instructional video that will teach you how to make your man sexually addicted to you and only you. It contains a number of oral sex techniques that will give your man full-body, shaking orgasms. If you’re interested in learning these techniques to keep your man addicted and deeply devoted to you as well as having a lot more fun in the bedroom, then you may want to check out the video. You can watch it by clicking here.

Sex Positions

Why try a new sex positions?

If you’ve landed here, you’re probably looking for a new sex position. You’re not alone. In fact, people have been mixing things up since, well, probably since we started hooking up. However, it was an ancient Hindu text called the Kama Sutra that popularized finding innovative ways to get laid. The Kama Sutra was written between 100 and 500 AD and was published in English in 1883, but it really took off when a version started circulating on the Internet. And that, essentially, is a brief history of how you landed here, in search of new ways to enjoy sex with your partner.

Although the Kama Sutra is known for its sex positions, the text in its entirety was actually considered a “treatise on pleasure.” In its time, it was a manual for living a good life, including how to have a happy marriage, express love through sex, please a sexual partner and create pleasure and variety in a sexual relationship.

Pleasure and variety – that’s still what trying new sex positions is all about! Trying a new sex position can mean exploring new erogenous zones. It can amp up effort and excitement. It can switch the usual power dynamic between you and your partner. It can help you see your partner from a different angle (literally!). It can help you learn to move in new ways. It can make sex more intimate. It can push your limits. It can mean more pleasure for you. It can mean more pleasure for your partner. It can even mean more pleasure for both of you at the same time. Oh, and switching things up with new positions can also increase your chance of more and better orgasms.

Need we say more?

Here you will find sex positions of all kinds to fit every lifestyle, ability and mood. Use the filter menus at the top of the page to select from oral sex positions, anal sex positions and sex positions that involve sitting, standing and lying down. You can also filter positions based on your sexual orientation and your sense of adventure. We even have bondage sex positions!

How should I go about trying new sexual positions?

Each of our sex positions comes with instructions, including notes about safety. Some sex positions are physically strenuous or involve moves that could lead to injury. If you’re trying anything ambitious, the key is to start slowly and check in with your partner regularly. And, if a particular sex position isn’t working out for you, you can always move on to something else!

OK, so what’s the best sex position?

Ummm … that depends … on you! Sexual preferences are a very individual thing and bodies are all different. That’s what makes mixing things up so important – and what will help you find the sex positions that’ll really knock your socks off! If you have a certain type of sex position that you prefer – such as rear entry sex, or standing sex – you can use our Sex Position Selector to find other, similar positions. Then again, you could also jump into something totally different and see how it goes!

Want some tips on a certain type of sex position? Check out our articles on sex positions articles on sex positions, including:

Go Deep! The 8 Best Sex Positions for Deep Penetration
6 Sex Positions Made for Big, Beautiful Bodies
The 10 Best Sex Positions for People With Back Pain
Sex Positions for Ninjas: 6 Skills That’ll Give You Bragging Rights
6 Superstar Oral Sex Positions
8 Entry-Level Sex Positions
6 Calorie-Burning Sex Positions That Count as Exercise

If we’re missing your favorite sex position, don’t hesitate to drop us a line and we’ll add it to our list. Enjoy!

Getty Images By Abiola Abrams · October 1, 2013

Passionate Living Coach Abiola Abrams gives love, dating and self-esteem advice on the CW’s Bill Cunningham Show and all over the web through her hit web series AbiolaTV. Now she wants to help you keep things spicy and fresh between the sheets. Are you in need of an intimacy intervention? Just ask Abiola!

Dear Abiola,
I met a man that is so awesome to me. It’s hard to put into words how fantastic our relationship is. We have such amazing chemistry and I do not want that to ever go away.

Let me just say, the sex is good and has always been fun. We talk and laugh during sex which I think helps me get in the grove a lot better. Even though I have some serious insecurity issues due to my physique, he makes me feel special in moments of intimacy that allows me to be open.

Problem? I am plus size and he is average (both is height and in “manhood”). He can handle me pretty well given our height differences but when we are intimate we typically stick to just missionary. However, I want to try something else to spice up our love life. He is totally OK with being on top but I fear that one day, he will get bored of our love life and want something more.

We’ve tried a few new positions but due to my size in weight, it was rather difficult. I am finding that with missionary, I do not always have an orgasm and sometimes it takes us having sex multiple times in one night before I get off.

What are some positions or intimate moments you can suggest for women who are a bit larger that allows us both to enjoy sex?

Thanks in advance!
Wondering in Wisconsin

Subscribe to our daily newsletter for the latest in hair, beauty, style and celebrity news.

Dear Wonderful in Wisconsin,

First of all, my dearest queen I applaud you for taking control of your love life. It sounds like your man agrees with me that you are gorgeous and fully deserving of love, affection and pleasure. Yippee for that!

Be willing to let go of those old insecurity issues. Your worth is not attached to your body size or even the fact that you have the loving and attentive man you deserve. You were born worthy. I want you to look in your own eyes every time you pass a mirror and tell you, your best friend: “I was born worthy. I am enough. I love being me.” Before we get into the positions, you want to make sure that every sense is engaged in your private time.

Men are visual and your man clearly likes what he sees. Your beautiful energy shines forth so I wanted to do something special for you. I consulted with lingerie expert Cora Harrington to find out her picks for plus-size women. Cora of The Lingerie Addict blog recommended Hips and Curves which sells “scandalously skimpy panties,” garter belts and stockings in sizes up to 5x, Elomi and Goddess for busty bras and beyond and Hanky Panky (we love that) for boudoir looks in their signature stretch lace for life-sized women. Shopping for delicates with your partner can heighten anticipation and put all of your gifts in lovely wrapping paper.

Try these position revamps:

Bigger and Beautiful Position Roundup. a) Sitting up on the kitchen counter will give you great balance and control. Then your man can enter you from the front. If he needs access assistance, there is nothing wrong with him standing on a small stool or something else. You’re then able to have fun with no concerns about him or you holding up your weight.

b) Lie on your side with your knees bent. You can use pillows if you need extra support. He can enter from the back or the front. If from the front, see if you feel comfortable putting a leg up on his shoulder. This can bring you both great pleasure.

c) “Doggie style” also is great if your knees are up for it. Either you or him can provide extra stimulation for you, manually or with a small vibrator.

d) Ask him to sit on the end of the bed. Be near the bedhead so that you can hold on to it with one hand if needed. Straddle him and you will both be able to support your luscious weight.

Updated Missionary. As a plus-size princess your man may think that you feel most comfortable in missionary. Since this old standby is not getting you to where you want to be, you may want to add to this position without tossing it out. Eye contact can also intensify the experience between loving partners. If he’s into it, you can also spice up missionary with your hands. You can manually stimulate yourself (a show he might enjoy) or reach around and stimulate his prostate. Now that’s missionary to the max.

Try using a pillow or two under your butt to change how your bodies interact. This will give an average size man more access and perhaps give you a little more thrusting power as well. He’s more likely to have clitoral contact and hit your g-spot this way and my coaching clients report that this position also keeps a bountiful belly out of the way. Special note: You can also remain on your back and your man can reverse position so that your feet line up with his face. For some women this kind of penetration is too intense, others report pleasure. See if it works for you.

Kink it up. Pick up a copy of the first African American Kama Sutra book, SoulMates: An Illustrated Guide to Black Love, Sex, and Romance. Explore out of the box sexual paths like tantra or some 50 Shades of Grey style BDSM. Purchase adult toys and instructional books together at a woman-friendly sex shop like Good Vibrations at GoodVibes.com.

This is just the beginning of your explorations together. Continue to be curious, experiment, play and have fun. Most importantly, love, honor and cherish each other. You deserve every happiness, goddess. Why? Because you’re worth it!

Passionately yours,

Courtesy of Abiola Abrams

Blogger, author and life coach Abiola Abrams

Abiola Abrams is the founder of The Bombshell Academy blog, online school and web series over at AbiolaTV. Follow her on Twitter to continue the discussion about this week’s hot topic, and then email her your burning questions now. Anything you send will be posted anonymously, promise.

Share : TOPICS: Love & Sex Sex Sex Advice Sexuality

11 ways to help yourself to a better sex life

The physical transformations your body undergoes as you age also have a major influence on your sexuality. Declining hormone levels and changes in neurological and circulatory functioning may lead to sexual problems such as erectile dysfunction or vaginal pain.

Such physical changes often mean that the intensity of youthful sex may give way to more subdued responses during middle and later life. But the emotional byproducts of maturity — increased confidence, better communication skills, and lessened inhibitions — can help create a richer, more nuanced, and ultimately satisfying sexual experience. However, many people fail to realize the full potential of later-life sex. By understanding the crucial physical and emotional elements that underlie satisfying sex, you can better navigate problems if they arise.

Treating sexual problems is easier now than ever before. Revolutionary medications and professional sex therapists are there if you need them. But you may be able to resolve minor sexual issues by making a few adjustments in your lovemaking style. Here are some things you can try at home.

  1. Educate yourself. Plenty of good self-help materials are available for every type of sexual issue. Browse the Internet or your local bookstore, pick out a few resources that apply to you, and use them to help you and your partner become better informed about the problem. If talking directly is too difficult, you and your partner can underline passages that you particularly like and show them to each other.
  2. Give yourself time. As you age, your sexual responses slow down. You and your partner can improve your chances of success by finding a quiet, comfortable, interruption-free setting for sex. Also, understand that the physical changes in your body mean that you’ll need more time to get aroused and reach orgasm. When you think about it, spending more time having sex isn’t a bad thing; working these physical necessities into your lovemaking routine can open up doors to a new kind of sexual experience.
  3. Use lubrication. Often, the vaginal dryness that begins in perimenopause can be easily corrected with lubricating liquids and gels. Use these freely to avoid painful sex — a problem that can snowball into flagging libido and growing relationship tensions. When lubricants no longer work, discuss other options with your doctor.
  4. Maintain physical affection. Even if you’re tired, tense, or upset about the problem, engaging in kissing and cuddling is essential for maintaining an emotional and physical bond.
  5. Practice touching. The sensate focus techniques that sex therapists use can help you re-establish physical intimacy without feeling pressured. Many self-help books and educational videos offer variations on these exercises. You may also want to ask your partner to touch you in a manner that he or she would like to be touched. This will give you a better sense of how much pressure, from gentle to firm, you should use.
  6. Try different positions. Developing a repertoire of different sexual positions not only adds interest to lovemaking, but can also help overcome problems. For example, the increased stimulation to the G-spot that occurs when a man enters his partner from behind can help the woman reach orgasm.
  7. Write down your fantasies. This exercise can help you explore possible activities you think might be a turn-on for you or your partner. Try thinking of an experience or a movie that aroused you and then share your memory with your partner. This is especially helpful for people with low desire.
  8. Do Kegel exercises. Both men and women can improve their sexual fitness by exercising their pelvic floor muscles. To do these exercises, tighten the muscle you would use if you were trying to stop urine in midstream. Hold the contraction for two or three seconds, then release. Repeat 10 times. Try to do five sets a day. These exercises can be done anywhere — while driving, sitting at your desk, or standing in a checkout line. At home, women may use vaginal weights to add muscle resistance. Talk to your doctor or a sex therapist about where to get these and how to use them.
  9. Try to relax. Do something soothing together before having sex, such as playing a game or going out for a nice dinner. Or try relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises or yoga.
  10. Use a vibrator. This device can help a woman learn about her own sexual response and allow her to show her partner what she likes.
  11. Don’t give up. If none of your efforts seem to work, don’t give up hope. Your doctor can often determine the cause of your sexual problem and may be able to identify effective treatments. He or she can also put you in touch with a sex therapist who can help you explore issues that may be standing in the way of a fulfilling sex life.

As a service to our readers, Harvard Health Publishing provides access to our library of archived content. Please note the date of last review on all articles. No content on this site, regardless of date, should ever be used as a substitute for direct medical advice from your doctor or other qualified clinician.

How To Have Better Sex Tonight

Spice Up Your Bedroom Game With These Sizzling Ideas

November 13, 2018 Share Tweet Flip 0 Shares

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Star athlete LaDainian Tomlinson once said, “I always think I can get better. I’m never satisfied. That’s why I keep working.” Of course, he was referring to football. But it’s a quote that can be applied to just about any area of your life — especially where sex is concerned. And even if you feel like you’ve mastered the fine art of lovemaking, there’s science to support that changing things up in the bedroom can increase pleasure. So why not do some due diligence, and learn a few new tips and tricks to make sure that next time is your best time yet?

RELATED: 67 Different Amazing Sex Positions You Should Try Tonight (With Illustrations)

You don’t necessarily have to throw out everything that’s been working for you and your partner in order to do so. In fact, it’s the small additions and foresight that really make all of the difference, and take your sexual experience from great to incredible. It can be as simple as doing it in a different setting, trying a new position or even adding in a toy or product that helps amplify what already feels good for both of you. If you’re looking to take things up a notch in the bedroom, here’s what the experts have to say about the best ways to do it.

1. Talk About It

Of all the things that you can use your mouth for during sex, Dr. Jess O’Reilly, Astroglide’s resident sexologist says using it to talk to your partner about your sexual desires and discover theirs is undoubtedly the most powerful tool for having the best sex of both your lives. “Conversations about sex are seldom easy, but open communication is fundamental to a more satisfying sex life” she explains. “While in almost every other realm, talking the talk is easier than walking the walk, sex seems to be the exception. Research actually suggests that people are more comfortable having sex than talking about it. This communication gap not only wreaks havoc on our sex lives, but also takes a toll on our intimacy levels, expressions of affection and overall relationships.”

So how can you get such a serious conversation like that started, and still keep things sexy? “It may be difficult to express your specific desires and fantasies, but try using pop culture as fodder for friskier conversations,” she suggests. “If you see a scene in a movie that turns you on, try to identify the source of your arousal and share your thoughts with your partner. Talk about what turns you on and turns you off in the context of fictional characters, communication, interactions and activities as a way to bridge the gap between fantasy and reality.”

2. Focus On Pleasure, Not Performance

Of course, the end goal of sex should always be two satisfied partners. But as Dr. O’Reilly points out, taking the pressure off your performance makes for a better experience for both of you. “It’s great to be a generous lover, but you’ll likely find that you both derive more pleasure from the experience if you allow pleasure to supersede performance,” she explains. “One way to focus on your own pleasure (and your partner’s) involves using a blindfold — visual deprivation can heighten the sense of touch and lead to a more mindful experience. Alternatively, you might take turns pleasing one another so you can learn to be a taker, which is just as important as being a giver.”

In the market for a blindfold? This one from Lovehoney is great for beginners — at a price point you can’t beat.

$11.99 at Lovehoney.com

3. Tease Your Partner

It’s no new news that foreplay is crucial to a satisfying sexual experience. But stimulating your partner before the main act by way of teasing can take it a step further. “Research suggests that dopamine levels are higher when you’re anticipating a reward than when you actually receive it,” Dr. Jess O’Reilly explains. “Giving your partner exactly what they want may be less pleasurable than teasing, building tension and alluding to pleasure.” Focus on stimulating her erogenous zones — ear lobes, stomach neck and inner thighs are all areas that are more sensitive to the touch.

To take teasing up a notch, try using a feather tickler. “Feather ticklers excite the sensitive nerve endings at the surface of the skin, making them more receptive to touch/licking/kissing/biting,” says Sammi Cole, resident sexpert at Lovehoney.

$8.99 at Lovehoney.com

Using a finger vibrator can also be a powerful tool when you’re teasing your partner. “Slip on a finger vibrator and use your hands to work on all those other erogenous zones while you’re busy elsewhere,” Cole suggests.

$18.99 at Lovehoney.com

4. Talk Dirty

Another easy way to make sex feel more intense? Put your mouth to good use and talk dirty. Research even suggests that dirty talk can increase a woman’s chances of having an orgasm, so having a few phrases in your back pocket to use during the act is a good thing to have. Not sure where to start? Dr. O’Reilly says even short phrases can work to your benefit in the bedroom.

5. Try Nipple Play

It’s fun for you, and feels good for her. But as Cole points out, it’s not just women who can benefit from some added nipple stimulation. “Whether you’re a man or a woman, everyone has sensitive nerve endings in the nipples, so why not increase sensitivity with a pair of nipple suckers?” she says.

Less off-putting than nipple clamps, these silicone suckers are versatile and easy to use — and keeps your mouth from getting tired if you’re used to doing it the old-fashioned way.

$14.99 at Lovehoney.com

6. Experiment With Edging

Mastering the art of edging can take a bit of practice — but if you’re looking to achieve longer, more intense orgasms, it’s worth putting the time and effort in. “Edging refers to bringing yourself right to the brink of orgasm several times without allowing yourself to go over the edge,” Dr. O’Reilly explains. To learn how to do it, practice on yourself so that you’re able to guide your partner through it. “Stimulate yourself however you please and stop as soon as you feel as though you are about to climax,” she explains. “Breathe slowly and deeply as you retreat to a less stimulating technique or area until the urge to ejaculate subsides. Repeat this process several times. With practice, some men find that they eventually experience orgasmic sensations without ejaculation during the retreat period.”

RELATED: When To Have Sex

Whether you’re working on learning how to edge or know exactly how to get there, using a long lasting lube can make all the difference. “Research indicates that lube leads to higher levels of arousal, pleasure and satisfaction,” says Dr. O’Reilly. “A study of 2,453 women found that the use of water and silicone-based lubricants significantly decreased symptoms of sexual dysfunction and 70 percent of participants reported that their sexual experiences were enhanced by the use of lube.”

$12.99 at Lovehoney.com

7. Focus On The Clit

With so many ways to stimulate your partner, it’s important not to neglect the most sensitive, most important part. “A huge percentage of women don’t always (or ever) orgasm via intercourse alone,” explains Carol Queen, Ph.D, Good Vibrations staff sexologist. “It’s too bad that ‘sex’ is our culture’s euphemism for that act, because it makes people believe that this is how someone should orgasm. The nerves that most support orgasm are clitoral, though, because it is comparable to the sensitive head of the penis. Most men can’t orgasm with no penile contact either — looked at that way, the statistics aren’t so surprising.”

What are some ways to touch her there? “When touching the clit directly with your fingers, add lube for slipperiness: it feel sexy and increases comfort,” Queen explains. “Don’t push on the clit or be rough — unless she says she likes it. When doing oral, also watch out for too much suction or pressure. Relax your tongue and lips, especially at first. As arousal builds, more sensations, and more intense ones, can feel good.

Speaking of oral, if you’re looking for a toy for extra clit stimulation for her, a vibrating tongue ring like this one from Adam&Eve makes for an ideal toy to help push her over the edge. Place it on your tongue and turn it on — making oral easier for you and better for her.

$11.95 at AdamEve.com

8. Try A Couples Toy

If your partner wants to orgasm from P in the V sex, using a couples toy that can be worn during the act can end up benefiting both of you. “The Eva II Clitoral Massager is a best-seller for beginners because it’s a hands-free, hassle free phenomenon,” explains certified sex therapist Dr. Jenni Skyler. “Place the flexible wings under the labia while the Eva II vibrator sits on top of the clitoris during penetrative sex. This toy has been reviewed as the best couple’s toy yet!”

$142.94 at Amazon.com

While cock rings are designed with men’s needs in mind (read: restricting blood flow to help strengthen and extend erections), the modern-day cock ring like this one from We-Vibe has benefits for her, too. “It’s the ultimate cock ring — even men who don’t like sex toys say it makes their orgasms more intense due to its rumbly vibes that press against his shaft and her clitoris in multiple positions,” Dr. O’Reilly explains.

$63.99 at Amazon.com

9. Explore Anal Play

Whether you’ve tried it before or have always been curious, there are plenty of benefits for both you and her when it comes to trying butt stuff. “Bring in a butt plug — because it makes her vagina feel tighter and angles the penis towards the G-spot if she wears it, and it stimulates the sensitive prostate gland if he wears it,” Cole explains. This 10-function vibrating butt plug is versatile and great for beginners looking to start out.

$24.99 at Lovehoney.com

Looking for ways to explore anal pleasure beyond the butt plug? This starter kit from Adam&Eve has all the essentials. “For rear-end beginners, try the Beginner’s Anal Fantasy Kit, says Dr. Skyler. This 5-piece kit includes a beaded probe stacked with bead after bead, a Classix prostate stimulator, a suction-cup plug, a finger sleeve and anal beads.”

$34.95 at AdamEve.com

AskMen may get paid if you click a link in this article and buy a product or service. To find out more, please read our complete terms of use.

Are you having the best sex ever? Or do you think you and your man have gotten into a stale routine? Perhaps you want to surprise a new lover by being the best he’s ever had. If you think this is an impossible goal, you’re wrong! Not only can you blow his mind, but you might be surprised at how good sex can be for you. And that’s definitely something more women should be exploring!

Take The Quiz: Do You Give Good Blow Jobs?

While there’s no single secret to having sex that he’ll never forget or being the best partner he’ll ever have, we do have some advice on how to have the best sex ever with him. Combine a loving relationship with advice from below to have a smoldering sex life. Hopefully, your man will return the favor as much as possible, and you will both mutually benefit from amazing sex!

Here’s how!

1. Be Comfortable with One Another

If you’re not comfortable with the guy you’re having sex with, how do you expect to have the best sex ever? Being uncomfortable may mean that you don’t speak up when you don’t like something, that you don’t tell him about kinks that turn you on or that you don’t ask for oral sex, even if it’s the only way for you to orgasm! The more comfortable you are with a guy, the more you can explore your sexuality together!

2. Be Comfortable with Yourself

Not only should you be comfortable with whom you’re stripping down with, you need to feel comfortable with yourself. If you’re worried about your inexperience or have body issues, like almost everyone, then sex might not be very good. In fact, worrying about when and whether you’ll cum or if you’ll be the best sex he’s ever had might be the very thing that makes it lackluster.

Guys love confidence. Everyone does, really. But aside from that, being able to forget your worries and enjoy yourself ensures both of you get everything you possibly can out of sex. If you’re worried about every little thing, whether they’re legitimate concerns or not, you might benefit from reading this post about dealing with sexual anxiety.

My most powerful sex tricks and tips aren’t on this site. If you want to access them and give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually obsessed with you, then you can learn these secret sex techniques in my private and discreet newsletter. You’ll also learn the 5 dangerous mistakes that will ruin your sex life and relationship. Get it here.

It may also help to invest in some lingerie that makes you feel sexy. More on that here.

3. Build It Up

Jumping right into the sack is great, but you might be surprised how much buildup can lead to the best sex ever. Start early on by announcing your plans to have sex or just subtly insinuating them. Perhaps whisper it into his ear as one of you leaves, send a sexy picture of your underwear when you’re at work or send him a raunchy email during the day.

But don’t just head right to the main event when you have time, even though it’s tempting. Instead, spend time with your bodies close together. A sensual massage – more on that here – is great for this. It can also help to melt away stress and get you in the right mood.

Don’t forget about foreplay, either. I hope you’ll agree that it’s pretty essential for most women to achieve orgasm, and it will bring you to the edge much easier – and perhaps with more intensity. In fact, edging is the term that refers to bringing yourself near to orgasm and backing off, and it often results in incredibly powerful orgasms.

Of course, you want to focus on your man, too. Spend some time making out before heading for the belt. Make sure you read our tips about giving head for more tips. Surprise him with a lubed-up hand job. Don’t forget about his balls and other erogenous zones, either. He’ll thank you for it – if he can even speak, that is!

4. Talk Dirty with Him

Talking dirty serves a couple of purposes. First, it’s hot. Who doesn’t like to hear encouraging feedback about how they’re doing? It can help us to get off and do the same for our partners. Furthermore, it’s sexy to hear your name moaned from your partner’s lips.

But dirty talk also serves as a way to describe what you want and need in bed – and what you don’t want and need, which can help you have some of the best sex ever. Talking dirty can seem awkward at first, especially if you’re more on the quiet side, but we’ve got this guide to help you out. Start with describing how good something feels, what you like or what you want to do to your man, and continue along that path as long as it seems like he’s into it.

5. Explore Your Fantasies

To blow his mind, you’ll probably want to do something more than a quickie in the missionary position while the kids are watching TV in the other room. No, you’ll want to really explore your fantasies. This means you’ll need to talk about them first. Not only is this a great way to learn more about your partner and become closer, but it can be hot, too (see above)!

Take The Quiz: Do I Give Good (or BAD) Blow Jobs?

Once you know what his fantasies are, you can consider how to make them come true. Not every fantasy may be something that you can or want to achieve, but you can discuss those fantasies to help your man enjoy them. You can also try out things such as bondage and discipline – try spanking – submission/domination, role playing and using toys together to enhance your time in the bedroom together.

Plus, you should discuss what it is that you’d like to try. Men often love when women take the wheel in the bedroom, and this is one way to do so. If your sex life has thus far been pretty vanilla, then it might not take much to spice things up in the bedroom, and we’ve got an entire selection of articles dedicated to keeping your sex life fun!

6. Try New Positions

If you only default to the same position or two when you’ve having sex, it’s probably not the best sex you could be having. Different positions introduce an entirely new range of sensations. For example, doggy style is good for stimulating the G-spot, while you might prefer being on top because you can control depth and angle of penetration.

Our list of sex positions is nearly a mile long, and includes many positions that will get you outside the bedroom or, at least, off the bed! Speaking of which…

7. Have Sex in New Locations

Whether you move to the couch, the kitchen table, the laundry room or the car, you’ll certainly give him something to remember by simply having sex someplace different. You might want to try sex outside. Read our advice to make it hot and avoid getting in trouble. Perhaps the two of you can rent a hotel room for a night or weekend for mind-blowing sex. Have sex on a blanket under the stars or while camping.

Sure, these places might not be the most romantic and you risk getting caught in some locales, but that’s also the appeal of having sex whenever and wherever you can!

8. Get Lubricated

We’re talking about both the literal and social sense of the word. Don’t be afraid to use lube, which makes things more slippery and comfortable for longer periods of time. Read more about lube here.

Secondly, consider a little social lubricant, especially if it helps you relax. There’s no need to get obliterated, but some couples report having the best sex ever after a glass or two of wine, as it helps to shed the stresses of the day and helps you bring out your sexy side.

9. Don’t Be Afraid to Plan

There’s nothing wrong with spontaneous sex, and some of the best sex ever wasn’t planned. However, some people think that sex should always be spontaneous, and that can actually lead to more awkward or even less frequent sex than you’d like! If you plan, you can set up the atmosphere with candles or music, dress sexy for your man and have toys at the ready.

Chances are, planning the sex you’ll have will turn you on quite a bit, which is always a good thing when you’re a bad girl! If your man knows what you’ve got planned, then he might be thinking about it all day. Consider sending some naughty texts back and forth while one or both of you is at work, or you could snap a shot of your accessories to have him prepared for what’s to come.

Of course, surprising your man might also lead to some of the best sex he’s ever had, especially if he’s usually the one to initiate or the two of you haven’t been intimate in some time.

You don’t need to make a big to-do out of sex every time, but planning it every once and a while ensures you’re not just going through the motions.

10. Enjoy Your Own Orgasm

Finally, you should enjoy sex and your orgasm. There are few things men like more than knowing they’ve pleased a woman in bed. A powerful orgasm is definitely something that will send him over the edge. Learn how to make yourself cum through masturbation, then show him what does it for you.

There’s no need to fake it, either. Sex is about the journey, and you shouldn’t feel pressure to orgasm. Make sure he knows how much you enjoy and appreciate your time together. After all, sex is about both of you, and what sets one romp apart from the rest is often simply knowing how turned on your partner is!

I put together this in-depth, step-by-step instructional video that will teach you how to make your man sexually addicted to you and only you. It contains a number of oral sex techniques that will give your man full-body, shaking orgasms. If you’re interested in learning these techniques to keep your man addicted and deeply devoted to you as well as having a lot more fun in the bedroom, then you may want to check out the video. You can watch it by clicking here.

Can you have multiple orgasms? Well…maybe! About 47 percent of women report experiencing more than one orgasm in a row, according to a study by OMGYES, the Indiana University School of Public Health, and the Kinsey Institute.

One pro tip that might help you up your odds of having multiple orgasms: experiment as much as you can with masturbation. The reason is two-fold. First, you want to know what works best for your body, and masturbation is a great way to hone in and figure out exactly what gets you off in a low-pressure environment. When you’re with a partner, there’s a ton more variables to consider (hello, another whole person is involved!) but when you’re flying solo, your focus is solely on yourself so you can better enhance your pleasure.

Masturbation also improves your multiple orgasm game because it gets your body used to the feeling of orgasming over and over again. “ can strengthen your muscles that are usually involved for the marathon of bliss,” says Maureen Pollack, sex expert, intimacy coach, CEO of the Waterslyde, and co-owner of Lovability Inc. If multiple orgasms are making the Olympics, the only way you’re gonna get there is through practice, practice, practice.

Another thing to keep in mind: your second orgasm is usually easier to achieve than your first. “After your first orgasm, you are more likely to have multiple,” says Pollack. So if it takes you ten minutes of wrist-numbing hard work (and if you prefer the shortcut route, we gotchu) to get to O numero uno, don’t be discouraged by the idea that you’ll need to dedicate another ten minutes to get to the second orgasm. Wait a minute or two between your first orgasm before you get going again before you start stimulation again.

Don’t be too hard on yourself if you can’t have multiple orgasms on your first try. Everyone’s body is different, every orgasm is different, and what doesn’t work the first time, might work another time in a different headspace or with a slightly altered technique! If the above info has got you raring to go, here are some positions that might help you.

Best sex position for orgasam

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