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Dating a Younger Man? Here are 13 Things You Should Know

Dating a younger man? It can be fun, especially if you’re 40 or older and figuring out what you want in terms of dating and relationships. But realize: dating a younger man is definitely different from dating a man your age or even older. There will be things you like (his energy) and things that drive you crazy (the fact that he has no clue who Max Headroom is).

Tips for Dating a Younger Man

Some women exclusively date younger men: in fact, 31% of older women prefer dating younger men. Others may try it once or twice and decide that it’s not for them. There’s no telling which way you’ll feel about dating an older man until you have your own experience.

Here are a few of the things you should be aware of if you do.

1. He’ll Have a Different Perspective

Michelle, who’s 40, went on a date with the younger man she was seeing; they went out for a trivia night at a local brewery.

A question about Max Headroom came up.

“Who’s Max Headroom?” her date asked.

“Are you kidding me?” Michelle wondered.

Later, a question about the Care Bears was asked. Again, her date was clueless. Because he wasn’t even born when these ’80s pop culture icons were popular, he had no reference for them.

They went their separate ways not long after. Coincidence? Maybe…

Realize that in dating a much younger man, you won’t share many cultural references. A man four years younger than you, sure, will get much of the same things you do, but one around 10 years younger probably won’t.

And you might not get his either. You might hate the music and movies he’s into. It’s a generational divide, and you need to figure out how important it is to you to share cultural references or not.

2. He May Have a Different Sex Drive

It could be fun to date a man with a high sex drive!

While it’s not a blanket statement, younger men tend to have higher sex drives than men in their 40s, 50s, 60s, or older. In a study published in the Journal of Sex Research, female participants found that younger men (at least 5 years younger than them) had higher sex drives, could last longer during sex, were physically ready to have sex again sooner, and had more reliable erections than men their age.

If you’re coming into your sexual peak at whatever age you are, you are probably finding that men your age aren’t as eager to hop in bed quite as often as you are, which can leave you wanting more.

By dating a younger man, however, you may meet your match.

The opposite could be true too, so be aware of that. If sex has taken a back burner in importance in your life, you may disappoint a younger man who still wants to get it on fairly regularly.

3. He May Never Have Been Married or in a Long Relationship

You were married for 20 years…his longest relationship was six months. It may be jarring to meet someone who’s never had a long-term relationship (even if he hasn’t ever been married), and it’s something to be aware of if you hope that this will turn into something more serious.

If he doesn’t have experience in a longer relationship, he may not know how to make one work. And as you know, real relationships take work. How you treat one another, what you say, and what you do all matter.

You may quickly find that this man doesn’t know how to argue constructively and deal with the real issue at hand rather than screaming at you.

He may want to give up the first time things get tough.

He may have trouble opening up to you.

Or…he may so desperately want this to work out that he tries too hard.

He may be looking for a wife, while you’re not ready to go down that road again.

Just be aware that dating a younger man who doesn’t have the long-term relationship experience that you do may mean that you have to work harder to get to a good place, or that it will be too difficult to find even ground in a relationship together.

4. He May Want Kids

If you’re past wanting kids, let him know asap.

Your kids are nearly grown and you’re not interested in having more. Or maybe you can’t. But then you meet a man—a really great man—who says that he’d like to start a family one day.

Sadly, when only one of you wants to have kids, this can be a real dealbreaker. Realize that neither of you will likely change your mind and that it wouldn’t be fair for one of you to compromise what you want (who wants to have a kid with someone who really doesn’t want one? or give up the dream to have kids?).

If you’re dating a younger man, ask whether he wants kids early so that you can make your exit before things get serious and you both get hurt by breaking up.

5. He May Be More Adventurous and Spontaneous

The women I know who have dated younger men tend to love that these guys are more spontaneous and fun. I know women who were married for decades and rarely went out to eat with their husbands, let alone took a last-minute road trip. But then they started dating a younger man and they found themselves doing all sorts of things they never imagined doing.

Use this opportunity to say yes to more things. The more experiences you have, the more well-rounded you will be!

You may not be into skydiving, but why not let him take you on a day trip to see the flowers bloom in the desert out of town?

Never tried chicken feet? This guy can introduce you to new cuisine and expand your horizons.

If you’re used to planning every inch of your life, use this as an opportunity to let go and live a little.

6. He Might Love You Being in Control

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On the other hand, your need to control might be something that attracts him. He may like how in order your life is, and may be fine putting you in charge of making plans…or even in the bedroom.

Just be wary of this: no relationship should be extremely one-sided in terms of who has the power. If you’re attracted to a younger man because you can control him, that’s not a healthy balance for a real and lasting relationship.

7. He May (or May Not) Be Less Emotionally Mature Than You’d Like

If this younger guy has limited relationship experience, and depending on his personality, he might not have the emotional maturity that you do. This isn’t necessarily the case, because there are plenty of men who are more mature than even older women, but it’s a common enough thing that I want you to watch out for it.

Watch out especially for what I call Peter Pan types. You know the ones. They’ll woo you and then forget to pick you up for a date. They might text like crazy…and then stop texting for days. They have no consideration for your feelings, and are totally self-absorbed.

If you’re on dating sites, you can usually spot a Peter Pan pretty easily. His profile will talk about how into surfing, traveling, hiking, blah blah he is. How his dog is his baby. How he’s not looking for anything serious. And his pictures show that, while he might be incredibly hot, he spends an inordinate amount of time partying.

That’s not the guy for you.

It can be hard to gauge how emotionally mature a younger man is right away, so certainly give this guy a shot. But look for signs that he’s not where you are emotionally, and leave before you get in deeper.

8. He May Not Want a Relationship

He may just want to date, nothing more.

While this can be true of a man at any age, depending on what age man you’re dating, you might end up with one (or more) who isn’t ready to settle down.

His reasons for wanting to be single may range from the fact that he just got out of a relationship to just enjoying being footloose and fancy-free. But if you’re looking for The One, this man probably isn’t him, and you won’t be able to change his mind.

Again, have the conversation early on about what each of you are looking for. Many men will put what they want in their dating profiles (“hookups only,” “LTR,” or “looking for a woman to spoil”) so don’t ignore what’s right in front of you. Just don’t tell yourself that you’re okay with something casual if you’re secretly hoping that it will turn into more. That’s just a recipe for heartache.

9. He Probably Prefers Texting to Calling

If you’re dating a Millennial, chances are he’d prefer to text you than to call you. While texting can be incredibly helpful in letting you stay connected to friends, you may find yourself adrift using it as a communication tool in dating.

You can always suggest a phone call, but understand that for many younger men, a “phone” is really just a computer they use to text, post on Snapchat, and read Reddit. So you may make him incredibly uncomfortable in changing his preferred communication channel.

Your best bet is to step up your texting game. Learn how to get to know him in a few short sentences, while saving the bigger conversations for when you go out.

Or…if that just makes you crazy…date an older man!

10. He May Ghost You

Certainly, Millennials don’t hold the trademark on ghosting, but consider that 15% of Millennial men have ghosted a woman. They might want to avoid conflict, feel that you’re getting too clingy, or feel like you don’t live up to your online profile pics. Whatever the reason, it can be incredibly frustrating.

11. He Will Make You Feel Incredibly Sexy

There’s nothing wrong with a man that makes you feel sexy!

Just like there’s a certain assumption that dating a younger man means you basically have a hot pool boy serving your every need, there’s some cachet on his end as well for dating an older woman.

An older woman (a cougar, even) is seen as sexy and experienced. Younger men may love that you could teach them a thing or two in bed, and that you appreciate everything they do for you, from please you between the sheets to make you feel beautiful and adored.

I don’t see anything wrong with that, do you?

12. He Will Be in a Different Place Careerwise

One thing that can sometimes be a drawback when dating a younger man is that you’re likely going to be in different places in your lives, particularly when it comes to your careers. If you’re in your 40s or 50s, you’ve probably established your professional path and have settled into your field, whereas a guy in his 20s or 30s is just starting on that journey.

It can put pressure on a relationship.

It’s important to accept that you have different goals in your life. If you can do that, then it can work out long-term.

13. You May Be Keenly Aware of the Age Difference

Depending on the age gap between you and this guy, you may become self-conscious about that age difference. It can be particularly awkward when you spend time with his friends who are centered around clubbing or doing other things that you gave up years ago.

You may get looks from people on the street. Frankly, I don’t think you should care what anyone says if you’re into this guy, but if you’re sensitive, just be aware that this might bother you.

Conclusion:

For better or worse, there are plenty of good reasons to try dating a younger guy. It can be a great confidence boost, particularly if you took an emotional blow in a past relationship and are looking for a little amp up in that department.

If you’re open to just casually dating, you might have a blast with a younger man. And it is entirely possible that you could fall in love with one and have a long and happy relationship.

Because, as they say, age ain’t nothin’ but a number. You need to focus on finding the man that is your perfect fit, regardless of his age.

So…have you dated a younger man yet? What was your experience? Share it in the comments below!

Regardless of his age, you might want a little help learning to navigate the world of dating after 40. I’ve got you: this free training, How to Find Love After 40, will help you date with way more confidence than you ever had in your 20s or 30s. Sign up now, because space is limited!

You’re a strong, independent, and successful woman. You can have a relationship with any man of any age, but for some reason, you notice that dates are more comfortable and fun with younger men. And young men seem to be drawn to you.

As strange as this may seem to you, you’re not alone. This is becoming more and more common.

Women in positions of authority are finding emotional fulfillment from dating young men. And young men prefer dating cougars to younger, immature women. It’s sexual tension waiting to blossom.

What’s going on here? These 15 things:

1) He loves your experience

There’s no getting around it: experience is valuable. You’ve become wiser and better at coping with difficult situations in life.

You’ve been through it all in life, and a young man feels like there’s so much to learn from you.

You’re the rock he’s always wanted. You might be attracted to his zest for life, but he loves the fact that you’ve got your life together and won’t take any shit.

And yes, experience also applies to the bedroom.

Dean, 28, explains it well in Beyond Ages:

“One of the biggest reasons why do younger men like older women is: life experience. They’ve been in the game for a long time. They know things the younger girls can only dream of! This obviously translates into various departments – whether relating to what’s going on inside her mind or what happens inside the bedroom.”

2) He can learn a lot

The older you are, the experience you have. The more experience you have, the more you can teach.

That’s why younger men are so attracted to older women, especially the men that are ambitious and want to expand themselves intellectually.

Gareth Rubin in The Telegraph explains it perfectly:

“You’ll understand when you’re older.’ Literally everyone has heard those maddening words, and yet when you’re in a relationship with someone older than you – going to dinner together, choosing a flat together et al – you realise just how true it is.”

Rich life experience is hard to come by, and a man will mature more quickly if they have someone to learn from.

What’s more, you’ve had experience with different types of men, and you can easily point out the young man’s flaws and opportunities for growth.

You understand what kind of man he is and what kind of man he can be.

3) You both know what you want

You’re older, wiser and know exactly what you want. A casual fling? Or a serious and meaningful relationship? You find the guy that’s right for you.

According to Alan Angal, 36, he was attracted to his older fiancée, Jennifer Siegner, 45, for her stability:

“With some women I dated, they wanted to play games, but Jennifer always communicated that she wanted something real…I always knew where I stood with her.”

And while you might think that young men only want something quick, it’s not entirely true.

Some guys become so in love with you, they just want to be with you for the rest of their life. In other words, you’re “the one”.

Some studies have found that men prefer honest women, particularly for long-term relationships.

4) He respects you for all that you’ve achieved

You didn’t become a successful woman out of nowhere. It’s taken hard work, dedication and persistence.

He understands, admires and respects this, as he knows how difficult it is for a woman to rise in the ranks.

According to psychologist, Sam Owen, this may be a reason why younger men like older women:

“Young men nowadays probably also recognize that older women are adept at diligently juggling so many responsibilities (career, children, housekeeping, fitness, finances, socializing), which makes them intriguing and attractive and a more secure option.”

You’re filled with wisdom and stability and he can’t believe his luck that he has become part of your life.

5) He learns a new perspective

Most people spend time with those who are their own age. This goes for dating as well.

So when you spend time with someone who is in a different stage of life, you see life through a different lens. It cannot be underestimated when can be learned from this.

According to Vincent, a man who has been dating an older woman, there is so much to learn:

“Just the fact that there’s so much to learn from an older woman, that they have so many more life experiences to draw upon, is an adventure to me. It’s like a rush.”

You have a better idea of what’s important in life, and most importantly, what isn’t.

Instead of worrying about little petty issues at work, you can help him see that there are bigger issues to focus on.

Getting his priorities straight gives him a huge upper hand in life.

6) You are confident and independent

Most younger ladies are more concerned about what people think of them.

This can lead to superficial and insecure tendencies (selfies anyone?).

But older women have been through that phase. Life experience has given them a better idea of who they are and what’s really important in life.

You don’t care as much what people think of you. You know it doesn’t matter. Young people tend to seek validation from others because they aren’t sure of who they are.

Folk wisdom suggests that confidence is attractive and research has also suggested that men and women rate confidence as an attractive trait in a potential partner.

For a young man, this self-confidence you possess is captivating. It also leads to less drama, which is extremely attractive to any man.

7) You are more emotionally mature

Young people are filled with energy and hormones that emotions can get out of control. They aren’t as skilled at controlling them, either.

But an older woman has learned how to control her emotions. She’s been through the ups and downs of life.

This doesn’t mean that you’re boring. Quite the opposite. You understand the value of basking in joyful moments and making the most of it.

Men also love the fact that you don’t play games, as Gareth Rubin describes in The Telegraph,

“Mind games are very much the environ of the younger girl. Past 40, women are utterly upfront about where you’re going very wrong – brutal, certainly, but an easier way to live in so many other respects.”

You just won’t get lost in toxic emotions that offer no value.

8) You have refined tastes

Partying is fun when you first start getting involved in the club scene, but it can get pretty boring pretty quickly.

An older woman doesn’t want to go out dancing and get smashed. She’d rather go to a nice restaurant, have some wine and bask in meaningful conversations.

According to Amy Fleming in Guardian:

“Maturity brings more grown up (and healthier) eating habits, with an appreciation of robust flavours like game, sour cheese and anchovies.”

After all, she’s worked hard for her money throughout her career and she wants to spend it wisely.

Therefore, young men love the calmness that comes with hanging out with you. You show them the good life, and they learn to appreciate the finer things.

9) You can have intellectual discussions

Older women have more life experience and can offer more wisdom to a conversation.

Because let’s be honest, you don’t care who is dating who or what celebrity just got married. You’d rather have meaningful discussions about what your goals are in life, and what interesting books you’ve read recently.

In “Older Women, Younger Men: New Options for Love and Romance,” authors Felicia Brings and Susan Winter interviewed more than 200 men to discover the allure of older women, and one man found the fact that he can talk about anything is rather enticing:

“Pat is very special. Not only is she beautiful, but she has a wonderful sense of humor and is very giving. The ability to talk about anything with her was refreshing and engaging.”

A lot of young men are sick of the superficial discussions that come with dating someone their own age.

An older woman helps them understand more about almost any topic.

10) You are financially stable

A big problem for a young man is financial security. After all, they haven’t been working for a long time and haven’t had time to move up in their career.

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The last thing they need is a younger girl mooching off him at every opportunity she gets.

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But with older women, the bills are evenly split. After all, you’ve had time to build your wealth and you don’t need to depend on a man for money.

This is a huge plus for a young man. They don’t have to worry about financing another person’s life. Also, they know that you’re in the relationship for the right reasons, rather than using him for money.

11) They don’t have to worry about having children

Some men aren’t interested in having children. Young men, especially. The great thing about older women is that they have either decided that they don’t want children, or they’ve had children, and they’re already grown up now.

According to a man who is dating an older women, starting families is rarely an issue with older women:

“I think younger women are sometimes too focused on starting families and that is rarely an issue with older women. I’ve always had relationships with older women. They know themselves. They have so much more to offer and they are looking for different things. They are not just looking for guys who will be good fathers and providers.”

This allows the man and woman to concentrate on the relationship and focus on their connection, rather than create a family and deal with all the stresses that come with it.

And anyway, young men want to focus on their careers. They simply don’t have time to focus on their career AND children.

12) They love your emotional support

Some men love the nurturing qualities that older women have. You’ve been through a lot in life, you’ve got your shit together and you can offer mental and emotional support that a young woman simply can’t.

Interestingly, a study found that men at a British university preferred women who had positive personality traits like openness, kindness, and assertiveness.

This is extremely appealing to a young man who is only just starting his career and figuring out what he wants to do with his life.

13) You’re good at cooking

As an older single woman, you’ve mastered the art of cooking. You’ve had to cook for yourself, and sometimes, cook for your own family. You know what tastes good and what nutritional needs a young man has.

And let’s be honest, young women cook less and prefer eating out and ordering food delivery. That’s what happens when you grow up with technology. Not only can this break a young man’s bank, but the food is more unhealthy as well.

You know how to look after your man and will cook him everything he desires.

14) She’s more direct and knows what she wants

Whereas a young woman doesn’t really know what she’s looking for in the dating scene, older women have been around the block. They know what they like, what they dislike and what they need to be happy.

Gareth Rubin in The Telegraph says that men tend to love a woman that knows herself:

“The smiles and nudges of your friends are nothing compared to the excitement of a relationship with a woman who knows herself, and what she wants.”

This is great for a young man because no games are played. They already know if you like them or not. There’s no need to say to you “let’s go back to my place and watch a movie”.

Instead, he can be more direct with his intentions because you’re more direct as well.

No games, no excuses, no bullsh*t. When a young man and an older woman date, it’s honest, authentic and direct.

15) You both envision a future of possibility

Being a young man, he has the world in front of him. There are so many things he wants to achieve, and with you by his side to guide him along the way, the possibilities seem limitless.

Likewise, you’ve come, you’ve seen, and you’ve conquered. And guess what? You want to keep on doing that! It’s what makes life fun and meaningful.

For you, there’s so much more in life that you want to experience and achieve, and a young guy by the helm will help you get there!

What an older women sees in younger men

1) He’s open-minded

This is what you love about younger men. They’re more free and open-minded. The older men who refuse to budge from stereotypical ways of living irks you to your core.

“Younger guys tend to be more active, have less baggage,” says Soletti, an event planner who regularly hosts dating mixers.

Young men are willing to try new things, embrace new concepts and explore the big wide world. Life is too short to settle down in a boring 9-5 job and not experience everything that life has to offer.

You’ve worked hard and a young man is more likely to bring out the energy and zest in you.

2) Older women think younger men are more attractive

A chiseled chest? 6-pack? A nice butt? Let’s be honest, younger men have that sex appeal going on.

Not only physically, but they’re more likely to be spontaneous as well. A deep and meaningful sex session on a weeknight? Why not!

In fact, a study published in the Journal of Sex Research found that women who dated younger men reported high levels of sexual pleasure and satisfaction.

This makes younger men incredibly sexy to you. And sexually it works. We’ve all heard that men tend to peak sexually in their younger 20s while women peak in their 30s. This makes for a lot of crazy, loved filled sex!

3) His attitude and energy are infectious

Younger people tend to be more adventurous than their older counterparts. A younger man encourages you to try new things and get out there in the world.

They help you live in the moment and relish an upbeat, positive outlook on life. It doesn’t matter how old you are, we’re all capable of living vibrantly.

And when life is as short as it is, why the hell not!

4) You enjoy the attention of younger men

In the past, it’s pretty common for older men to date younger women. Maybe this is filling some sort of need to do with their own insecurities. Or younger women are particularly attracted to the older man’s money. But that’s a story for another time.

What’s important here is that the attention a young man gives an older woman makes them feel sexy and special.

Perhaps you’ve been under the impression that you’re old and passed your used-by-date – but a younger man reminds you how truly sexy and intelligent you are – and that makes you feel amazing!

5) You aren’t interested in dating “boys”

Let’s be clear: Not all younger men feel the void for older women. They’re not attracted to boys who act immature and are only about what happens in the bedroom.

You like strong, powerful and mature men. You like men who are confident and not afraid to say what they think.

You also believe in equality, which a younger men is more accustomed to. Susan Winter, co-author of the book Older Women, Younger Men: New Options for Love and Romance explains:

“Older successful men are used to being in control of a woman, and that doesn’t sit well with modern women…Younger men have grown up with working women and have worked for female bosses, so they’re more likely to treat women equally.”

After all, you’re self-assured and independent – and you want the same in any man you date.

6) It makes you feel younger

Being with someone who is younger, and more active and playful can bring out the young, happy-go-lucky attitude you.

Perhaps you’ve been a bit jaded from life experience, but a young man has the capability to bring out the passion and excitement buried within you.

Life becomes more fun, and that’s exactly why a young man and an older woman is a match made in heaven.

7) It widens the pool of available men

Dating younger guys opens up a much bigger pool of possible partners—which increases your chances of finding a great partner.

People get married, have families and old men just aren’t as good-looking anymore.

This is why being open to a dating younger man gives you a wider array of options in the dating market. This means she has a great chance of finding someone she can connect with.

8) Less potential caretaking in the future

When you date a man that’s 5 years older, that age difference may not change your life when you’re younger. But when you’re 75 and they’re 80, it means that you have to become the caretaker for the older man.

But if you date someone younger, there’s less chance of that happening. And seeing as women live longer than men, there’s more chance of getting old together at a similar rate and you can both take care of each other.

You may also like reading:

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Imagine bathing in a source of unwavering loyalty. That’s what it was like to date a younger guy who was desperately in need of love and stability. A guy who was sleeping on his friend’s couch and working the cash register at a corner market and the reception at some three-star hotel above San Francisco’s Chinatown. He was also a self-described “deadbeat dad.” At 23.

I was an overeducated black woman with good credit, no kids, who was 20 years his senior — I should have known better. But I was suffering through the disability I call “middle life” and needed comfort. Turning 42 brought on self-criticism and disappointment that flowered like a bruise. There was a gray hair invading my afro-pompadour, sneering, Girl, you’ll die before you do anything great, or pay off those student loans. I had a “survival job” in government communications where getting boss approval on anything was like facing the powerful final opponent in a martial-arts movie.

Worst of all: the age-appropriate men I had dated. “Senior”-titled Elon Musk admirers who wanted to be treated like heads of state. They wanted a full program of cock-centric sex, custody days with their soccer-loving kids, and Guitar Hero nights with their power-nerd friends who would not let me play the tortured Amy Winehouse songs.

I had started my 40s dating a 50-something white dad — that romance was so unequal, it was an endless episode of “White Boyfriend Knows Best,” and it upheld white-male privilege and the patriarchy at a time when Donald Trump was running on the exact same ticket. “Don’t ever tell me again how men oppress women,” this boyfriend lectured, “when you women couldn’t even get together for Hillary.”

“That was white women,” I lobbed back. By Valentine’s Day, the current of political resistance had pushed me to the edge. After that breakup, I vowed to never make a submissive deal for love again.

The forces of solitude were crushing me when the damp-sky summer began. I was haunting a corner market designed to look like a Gold Rush general store, buying the cheapest bottle of Pinot Noir and a sushi platter for one, when out of nowhere the bearded guy working the register asked me to dinner. He looked about 30, and if you’re into Jeffrey Wright or Drake, this man would have definitely caught your eye.

On our first date, I brought out the “36 Questions to Fall in Love With Anyone” app. Around the tenth question, when I asked him to describe his ideal day, thinking he might say “Bike through Golden Gate Park, then do a beer-and-painting-class,” this 23-year-old stranger said it would be waking up with me, making me breakfast, then watching movies all day. I’d like to say I jumped up to leave, said “That’s weird, dude,” and grabbed my purse. What I did was relax, letting myself simply be worshipped.

Then he told me that his worst day had been when his mother sexually abused him. She was an addict and pretty much my contemporary. So Oedipus had been introduced in Act One. What was even more revealing was when he shared his history with older women: his last serious girlfriend was almost my age. She had three strokes while carrying his child. He left her during a tense recovery, when the healthy baby and the infirm mother both needed someone to wipe their tushies. Hopelessness set in. Tempers flared. And when this stroke survivor lashed out and said he should just leave, he was too green to realize that she didn’t really mean it. Instead, he took the infant to live with an attractive rural woman he had met on Facebook, somehow got kicked out of there, lost custody of the kid to his half-sister, and six months later escorted me to a near-empty gastropub that charged $15 for Brussels sprouts.

In terms of May-December romances, there’s been a longtime double standard when it comes to which half of the couple is “December”: Women who date younger men encounter fascinated curiosity, judgment, and even a loaded nickname that rose to prominence in the early 2000’s, while men in relationships with younger women are simply known as…men in relationships. If you’ve ever felt a spark with a guy eight or more years your junior but hesitated to give things a try, you might have told yourself it’ll never work. The fact that most movies involving an older woman/younger man love story don’t end well has helped cement that concept as a cultural truth—except, it’s not true. Or at least it doesn’t have to be.

Yes, the dynamic brings a unique set of challenges—but it can also be pretty great, whether the goal a fling or a long-term relationship. Here’s some expert-sourced advice for a woman dating a younger man.

A strong connection is real, no matter the age difference.

Consider French president Emmanuel Macron and Brigitte, his wife of 12 years, who is 25 years older than her husband. Or 49-year-old Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally, age 60, who chronicle their marriage in their aptly-titled book, The Greatest Love Story Ever Told. Then there’s Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra…you get the picture. And according to a 2017 study from dating website EliteSingles, 450,000 of their male users between age 20 and 29 preferred dating an older woman (with 11 years being the most desirable gap).

Paulette Sherman, psychologist, relationship expert, and author of Dating from the Inside Out, says that like any relationship, success depends on what the people involved are bringing to the table. “You can have a ‘young’ 50 year old or a very mature 25 year old, depending upon their life experience. So it’s good to look carefully at the individuals rather than just fostering limiting beliefs regarding age.”

A younger guy can recharge your sense of adventure.

To say that anyone dating someone younger is trying recapture their youth is an unfair generalization. But spending time with someone less tethered to family obligations and long-entrenched lifestyle demands can feel pretty freeing.

Jess Carbino, the former in-house sociologist for dating apps Tinder and Bumble, says that her research with women over fifty revealed a strong desire to date men eight or more years younger, in part because they assume that age group will be more open to new experiences. “They find the aging process for men to be more accelerated than among women, in terms of their desires for exploration, and are interested in younger men who may be less set in their ways,” she says.

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Sherman agrees that a woman who’s, say, divorced with older kids may have so many obligations to juggle that someone who’s accrued less “baggage” is often appealing. “They can just appreciate one another, and the moments they share.”

And yes, the sex can be great.

The theory that men’s sexual peak hits decades earlier than a woman’s, making an 18 year-old man and a 35-year-old woman unlikely-yet-perfect bedfellows, comes from a study conducted way back in 1953 (and the existence of a “sexual peak” is highly debatable). But a woman over 50 has often shed inhibitions about their body, and what they need to achieve orgasm, that a 27-year-old may still be grappling with. That’s enjoyable for a man at any age, contributing to a sex life Sherman deems “energetic.”

You’ll likely be admired for the impressive stuff you’ve accomplished.

Whether it’s an established career, well-raised kids, or stories from those years you spent backpacking around Europe, you have lived. That’s something to be proud of, and a man who’s still in adulthood’s first act just might be dazzled by the fact that you’re seasoned.

“Sometimes younger men are awed and inspired by a successful woman, while older men can feel competitive with her,” says Sherman, who also points to the generational evolution in how younger people view gender roles. “They may accept a woman’s ambition more, fulfill more parenting and domestic responsibilities, and be willing to be their cheerleader at work.”

They’ll love the confidence you’ve gained from experience, too.

No disrespect to the wonderful ladies under thirty out there, but…you’re grown. You’ve gained wisdom over the years about life, love, and the fact that you shouldn’t bother wearing sky-high heels at a crowded social event because no one can even see your feet, anyway. You know yourself.

That self-assured vibe and “profound sense of purpose” can be a siren call, says Sherman. And for the rare young-yet-mature man who’s got his life together “but is struggling to find a similarly-positioned woman his age, older women may seem like a very good option in terms of a romantic partner.”

That said, some younger guys may feel intimidated by where you’re at in life.

A less confident man who’s just beginning to forge his own path won’t always be so enamored of your history. This can cause bumps in the road when he’s your date at professional engagements, or attends a blended family gathering that requires hanging with your ex-husband.

Communication is key, Sherman says, and voicing feelings of jealousy and insecurity as they present themselves can go a long way. “It’s helpful for this type of couple to recognize that they don’t have to share the same level of career success.”

“Age can be a status that creates differences in terms of power,” Carbino points out. “In relationships with younger men and older women, there may be significant issues regarding power, and perceptions of dependency, that may play into unfortunate cultural tropes regarding dependency.”

Translation: If you detect a “you’re not my mom!” undercurrent to a disagreement, that’s definitely the red flag you think it is.

The kids conversation is complicated.

You may be at the end of your childbearing years, while he’s nowhere near contemplating a family. Or, he might be eagerly awaiting fatherhood, and you’re a happy empty-nester going through menopause.

If things have progressed past fling status, Carbino says to tackle this conversation as soon as possible. “Those who are becoming serious should have discussions regarding their desires around family generally,” she reminds us.

Step up your texting game.

No need to create a TikTok account and try getting current with the young folks, but as a dating apps expert, Carbino will say that men in their mid-thirties and younger “have a higher inclination to text versus call.”

She suggests that a woman establish expectations at the outset if she prefers a call (or actual face time, instead of iPhone FaceTime). “People fundamentally treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated, and will otherwise behave in the manner that’s most consistent with their style or comfort level. So by setting the tone you may avoid frustrations.”

Brace yourself for judgment. Then, unite and conquer.

We might’ve come a long way, but there’s still a particular stigma around the older woman/younger man relationship. Don’t be surprised if you and your beau find yourselves fielding rude-if-well-meaning questions, unfunny jokes, and remarks driven by others’ disapproval and possibly even jealousy.

When interviewing couples for her book When Mars Women Date, Sherman found that some men were teased by their guy friends if it seemed like they played the junior economic role in their relationship. “Oftentimes, the men themselves were happy in these roles, and the couple felt happy too. But peers and outsiders put undue pressure on them to change things, and this added a level of stress to their relationship.”

Carbino agrees that couples will need to develop “resiliency,” and a strategy regarding how to deal with criticism from friends, family, and strangers who don’t understand the attraction.

Plus, as Sherman says, refusing to “succumb to outer social pressure, shame, stigma or limiting beliefs” will help your relationship survive. Your love success will be one more example of a great older woman/younger man relationship, helping to “normalize new relationship models.” Be the sexy, intergenerational change you want to see in the world.

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Everything You Need To Know About Older Women And Dating

By Robert Porter

Updated November 20, 2019

Reviewer Wendy Boring-Bray, DBH, LPC

Are you an older woman dating a younger man or a younger man dating older women? If so, you’re not alone. At first, it was just a few celebrity couples, but then people noticed that it was happening regularly. Older women are dating younger men in greater numbers now and they’re not just dating them, but they’re having long-term relationships with and marrying them.

Want To Learn More About Older Women And Dating? Talk To A Professional. Speak With A Licensed Mental Health Professional Online Now.
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Society points all kinds of judgmental fingers, accusing these women of preying on impressionable young men, even labeling them “cougars.” But regardless of what anyone thinks, it’s clear that this is a phenomenon that is here to stay. In a recent AARP survey, 34% of women between the ages of 40 and 69 were dating younger men. What are the reasons behind this trend? Is it all about sex, or is there something else going on?

A closer look at the personal stories of older women dating younger men reveals an array of reasons why this arrangement holds so much appeal for both parties. Unsurprisingly, sex is a factor. Most women hit their sexual peak in their forties, and enjoy the increased stamina (as well as the greater physical attraction) that a younger partner can provide. But this is only a small part of the puzzle. Women over 40 also enjoy having a partner who is free from the emotional baggage associated with divorce and children. Also, younger men were typically raised by strong, career-focused mothers, so they are comfortable with ambition and intelligence in a partner, where older men can find these qualities threatening.

Young Men Like Older Women Too

This type of love is by no means one-sided. Younger men find that older women have a lot to offer, too.

Older women are confident, smart, and assertive. They have figured out their needs and knew how to express them. These qualities can be a welcome change to younger men because women their age tend to be more insecure and sometimes manipulative. They find that older women have a lot to teach them, not just about the physical aspects of a relationship, but about relationships and life in general, and this strength and wisdom can be very appealing. For all these reasons, a man in his 20s or 30s may decide that dating an older woman is just what he needs.

If you’re interested in this type of relationship, then please know that you are not alone. It isn’t unusual at all, but there are many factors that you should consider. If you are a young man who is interested in dating an older woman, then you have probably already considered the many advantages as well as the potential drawbacks. But what’s really behind the trend? Can these relationships last or are they best as casual and temporary arrangements? And what do you need to know about dating younger men or older women to make it work for you?


Source: pexels.com

Benefits Of Dating Older Women

Yes, it’s true, older women have a lot going for them. If you’re an older woman or thinking of dating one, here are all the things you can look forward to.

  • No need to waste time figuring out what she wants. It will come as no surprise to anyone that men are not minded. And yet, in dating situations, they often find themselves spending many days and hours trying to guess what a woman wants from them. Older women have learned not to waste any time on that. They communicate about their needs directly.
  • She can teach her partner a few things. Older women have learned a few things about sex, relationships, and life in general. Her partner will benefit from her knowledge and experience, and gain a new perspective.
  • She has control over her emotions. An older woman has weathered enough tough times to know that they are only temporary. She won’t let a bad day destroy her emotionally. She has the confidence to know that she can handle anything…because she already has.
  • She is independent. A woman at this stage of life is usually secure. She is not looking for a man to provide for her financially. This can relieve her partner of a huge amount of pressure. He can relax and have a good time without going into debt because she can’t pay her share in supporting their lifestyle or activities.
  • She can have fun with no strings attached. Often, divorced older women are not looking for anything serious and want to have a good time. This can prove a refreshing change to younger men who get tired of women with an agenda to settle into marriage and family.

Before you take the plunge into a May-December romance though, just be aware of a few potential downfalls.

Challenges of Dating Older Women

No relationship is perfect, and older women do come with their own set of challenges.

  • She is at a different stage of her life than you are. She is likely to be occupied with her career and possibly with children. These things will take first place in her life. Also, she may have more financial security than you do, which can be a source of conflict with couples, especially if she wants to go on vacations or out to nice restaurants.
  • Family and friends may not approve. There are still all kinds of stigma around dating older women. (We’ll talk more about this later.) Though unfair, the fact remains that sharing your relationship with family and friends may invite negative comments which put a strain on your relationships with them.
  • She may not want to have children (or be able to). An older woman has probably already raised young children and doesn’t want to do it all over again. By the age of 40, her ability to get pregnant is severely compromised, with menopause starting between the ages of 45 and 50. If you want to have a family someday, this is something to consider.
  • She will have different social references. This may be nothing more than a minor annoyance, but over time it may become frustrating that she often refers to movies and TV shows with which you are not familiar, or that she doesn’t like the same kind of music. The generational gap can be overcome, but it could be a factor.
  • Subtle or Not So Subtle Power Differences. Just as a younger woman dating an older man, power dynamics can be at play. These can stem from differences in income, career, life experience, or how much she is able to provide for you.

Want To Learn More About Older Women And Dating? Talk To A Professional. Speak With A Licensed Mental Health Professional Online Now.
Source: pexels.com

If you have decided that this kind of relationship is for you, here are some suggestions.

Tips For Older Women

  • Be open to the idea of dating younger men. Don’t go hunting for them, but don’t rule them out as an option. Simply your openness may attract one into your life.
  • Exude confidence. This quality, more than any other, will set you apart from the younger crowd.
  • Throw away all your preconceived notions of younger men. Be open to the possibilities. In fact, younger men may surprise you with their emotional wisdom and their sexual abilities.
  • Enjoy the new experiences that a younger partner will bring. Allow your relationship with a younger man to open you up to things that may be slightly outside your comfort zone, like going to a nightclub or listening to music that he is interested in.

Tips For Younger Men

  • Don’t Focus On The Age Gap. Sure, it’s great that the two of you hit it off so well in spite of your age difference…but don’t keep dwelling on it. She may find this emphasis on her age to be slightly rude.
  • Don’t Rush Her Into Sexual Intimacy. As much as you’re looking forward to it (and she is too!), older women have other priorities. Invest time in the beginning in romancing and getting to know her.
  • Communicate Clearly and Assertively. Older women don’t want to waste time playing games. They will respect you more if you state your needs assertively and with confidence.
  • Don’t Label Her. Avoid words like “cougar.” She may find such terms offensive. Relax and let the relationship be what it is.

Stigma And Double Standards

By now, you’re convinced that dating an older woman, despite its challenges, is pretty great. But even in today’s enlightened world, society still has all kinds of negative things to say about this powerful pairing, labeling older women dating younger men as sexual predators.

This is especially troubling when you consider that no such stigma exists for older men dating younger women. At worst, older men dating younger women are viewed with a condescending chuckle, earning the term “sugar daddy,” as if they were a benevolent father figure. Younger women dating older men are considered to be sweet and innocent.

The words used to describe older women in this scenario are not nearly as kind. Why does this double standard exist? Why is dating older men perceived as quaint, but dating older women is considered dangerous?


Source: pexels.com

The reasons for this may go back to our perceptions about the value of women. Traditionally, women have been valued directly by their ability to have children. For this reason, women, as they age, are often dismissed as no longer beautiful, while gray hair and wrinkles on men are seen as marks of distinction.

Men have long been valued for their power and their career successes. However, we now live in a time when women can be valued for these attributes too; and a new generation of men are aware of that, and see older women for the unique qualities they bring to the table. So don’t be ashamed of your relationship with an older woman or a younger man. It’s not just the new wave of the future. It’s the wave of the here and now.

Online Therapy Can Help

If you need help navigating your relationship, seek the guidance of a trained therapist. The experienced counselors at Betterhelp can help you fine-tune the ways you relate to each other. They’re good at helping couples of all ages to learn how to communicate effectively. If you have any issues that you’d like to work on together, then you shouldn’t hesitate to reach out to these professionals. Best of all, this is a very discreet way to receive help and you’ll be able to get couples counseling from the comfort of home. This gives you a chance to discuss your issues in a safe environment and it’s very convenient for busy professionals. Below you can read some reviews of BetterHelp counselors from people who have been helped with similar issues.

Counselor Reviews

“Mark has been extremely attentive to everything that I disclose. He’s not only provided me support but insight and encouragement to let me know I’m on a good path to self improvement and discovery. Furthermore, Mark has provided me valuable insight on my romantic relationship, specifically with learning more about the relationship dynamics and how to build a stronger, healthier relationship.”

“Absolutely brilliant! He helped me out of a pretty dark place and was nothing but helpful! For men who are looking for a counselor who understands what it is like to be a man in today’s world with a family, with kids and responsibilities, job, etc, I was extremely impressed with his ability to get down to it and understand what I was talking about. He’s great at getting to the root of the issue too. No need to slog through 8,000 words to find out what point he’s trying to make. He has a knack for asking exactly the right question in about 2-3 sentences. If you’re looking for a counselor who isn’t the typical counselor, he’s your guy!”

Conclusion

A relationship between a young man and an older woman can work out beautifully. As long as you’re willing to commit to the relationship, you’ll be able to find the love that you’re seeking. This beautiful partnership could turn into something that will last and you’ll always have help available to you when you need it.

There are words that we use about older women that we just don’t use about their younger counterparts. ‘Allure.’ ‘Fascination.’ And, of course, ‘experience’. All of them seem to swirl only around sexy women of a certain age.

Nowhere is this more apparent than with the sultry, smoking presence of Hollywood star Kate Beckinsale, 45 – as her 25-year-old beau Peter Davidson will attest.

Davidson, a comedy actor best known for his work on Saturday Night Live, was previously engaged to singer Ariane Grande, who is his age. But he has since upgraded. The pair were photographed canoodling at a hockey match on Sunday, setting tongues wagging – and not only their own – as Davidson is only five years older than his new amour’s daughter.

People may question whether a romance made up of two people from such different stages of life can last, but Pete has clearly discovered the hidden truth that many of us chaps know deep down: that the smiles and nudges of your friends are nothing compared to the excitement of a relationship with a woman who knows herself, and what she wants.

He is just part of a surge of young guys learning that hidden secret. Elsewhere in Hollywood Jason Momoa, 39, currently flooding the cinemas as Aquaman is dating 51-year-old Lisa Bonet, while on the world political stage, Emmanuel Macron is married to his elegant former secondary school teacher Brigitte Trogneux, who is 24 years his senior.

How to seduce a younger man: What you need to know!

In today’s day and age, the term cougar has become a totally normal part of our vocabulary. Women are beginning to broaden their horizons in the dating world and are no longer being bound by out-dated notions of having to remain within your age group when looking for a partner. There is a new sense of freedom as well as power, and you are realizing that it sounds like fun to be a beautiful exotic creature prowling the concrete jungle looking for something fresh and exciting…

A lot of people become discouraged when wondering how to seduce a younger man because they somehow get it into their head that you have to be Demi Moore or Madonna. The simple truth is that the more confident you are, the more attractive you are in all aspects. In this article I will share some tips with you on how to catch the eye of any younger guy and make him beg for more.

It’s exciting to think about all the possibilities that are a available to you when you’re single. All the doors are open to you and you’re realizing that you’d like to try something new. You maybe haven’t been with a younger guy since you were the same age and you haven’t forgotten how fun it was. Or perhaps you realize you maybe actually have forgotten and you want to open that door again. Let’s look at the Dos and Don’ts of attracting a younger guy and what to expect!

Older women younger guys: Is it possible for them to date?

This might be the very question that brought you to this article, and rest assured: there is nothing stopping older women from dating younger guys! A lot of women wonder how to attract a younger man and then stop and wonder if it’s actually even possible for a younger guy to fall for them. By the way, if you want to read an in-depth article on How to Seduce a Man, read this one without further ado!

I know a woman who is interested in her younger colleague at work. They flirt, they get along, and she’s realizing that there’s one very important thing she hasn’t done yet. She’s not used to going after younger guys, but the moment she realized this she knew how to get in control of the situation.

It’s actually really simple and I’m about to let you in on a big secret. Well, it’s not really a secret but it’s a pretty great thing to know…

When seducing a younger man, the most important thing to do is to actually show him that you’re interested. He may very well think that it’s all just fun and games because after all, he might not expect an amazing older woman such as yourself to be interested in a younger dude such as himself. But if he realized you were actually attracted to him, he’d bite.

There’s something undeniably sexy about an older woman. She’s got experience, she’s got class, and after all, age is nothing but a number. A person’s age is perceived partially by their appearance, but also by the way they act. You have more to offer than women of his age because you’ve had experience and you know exactly who you are and what you want.

But if you are attracted to younger man and you want him to know, then show him! I’ll share some techniques on how to do this in a moment. Don’t get self-conscious and start acting the way you think a person is “supposed” to act at a specific age. You are completely free to do what makes you happy and to pursue whatever excites you, so get out there and do it! So, let’s get started.

Older women attracted to younger men: Who’s your target?

So do you have your eye on one guy in particular or are you just ready to joining the older girls dating younger guys club?

You’ve undoubtedly noticed that younger men today are from a new, and very different generation. They’ve grown up with working moms and can really appreciate the allure of a powerful woman. Their older counter parts grew up with a different reality, and unfortunately some of them still struggle with their relationships with women today. One of the many reasons why older women date younger men is that they are very attracted to the younger generation’s progressive attitude and outlook on life.

Perhaps you’re ready to experience what it’s like to be with someone with a more open mind and a fresher outlook on life, but you’re wondering where to start. Or maybe you’ve got your eye on someone you know… Perhaps a colleague or someone you often run into.

If you’re looking to get in the dating game and find a younger guy, you can start by going out and meeting new people in places where there are young people. Sure, you can meet a younger guy at a bar, but you can be a bit more creative to make him kiss you!

I’ll let you in on something else, if you set your mind of meeting someone new and younger than you, you don’t really have to go out of your way. Just do things that you really enjoy doing, be proactive and outgoing, and you’ll meet more and more people. Chances are you’ll come across someone that sparks your interest in no time. The trick is to be active and open to it.

The Do’s and Don’ts when you want to know how to seduce a younger man

When some people think about how to seduce a younger man, they fear that it’s nearly impossible, but I am here to tell you that that’s nonsense! You have everything it takes to make a younger guy fall for you! You’re looking to share something exciting and new with someone. Who wouldn’t want that…?

If you’re having trouble reading whether or not your love interest in actually interested, or if you’re wondering how to make him fall for you, get in touch with us here and we will happy to give all the guidance you need!

So let’s look at how to get the ball rolling and start dating a younger guy.

The Do’s for older women dating younger guys

The very first thing you’ve got to do whether you’ve got your eye on someone in particular or you’re just wondering how to seduce a younger man in general is to put yourself out there! You’ve got the be open to the possibility if you’re going to let it into your life.

Why do I say this? Because all too often I have seen women who are absolutely interested in dating a younger guy convince themselves that it will never happen. Then what? Well when an eligible guy comes along, the woman just thinks, “Well, it won’t happen anyway,” and her body language completely changes. The guy then feels no invitation and then surprise! Nothing happens.

Once you meet someone interesting, or begin speaking with the guy you like, don’t be afraid to flirt with him. Have fun with it, but remember, the most important thing is going to be your confidence! Show him that you love who you are, and that you’re living an amazing life. It’s impossible for him to not become intrigued. Speak with experience… Act like you have all the answers but you’re not going to share yet.

Tease him! Bring your body language into play. Look him square in the eyes and don’t hide a knowing smirk. Touch his arm when you’re laughing and maintain direct eye contact when you’re speaking.

The Don’ts for older women with younger man

Above I mentioned speaking with experience. Be careful with this because there’s a fine line between showing him that you’re knowledgeable and being patronizing! Make sure you never talk down to him or make him feel like a child, because there’s nothing less sexy… Don’t correct him or sound like a know it all.

It’s also very important to play with intrigue! Make him realize that this isn’t your first rodeo and you’ve got plenty of know-how. BUT, do not start talking about your ex husband or your kids. The future is much more intriguing and exciting, and talking about responsibilities can be a buzz kill if it’s not being talked about at the appropriate time. Remember, seducing a younger guy should be based in excitement!

Also, don’t try too hard. Remain natural and show that you feel good in your skin. You don’t need try to dress like a 23 year old to attract a younger guy. Just wear things that you know are flattering and make you feel sexy.

Younger man older women relationships: He might pleasantly surprise you!

When you start dating the guy you’ve set your sights on, use all your experiences to make your relationship stronger and more fulfilling. Learn from the past and bring the good things with you!

I know that one typically thinks that the older person in the relationship will bring all the wisdom and experience, but you might be pleasantly surprised by your younger guy. As I was saying, the younger generation of men are different and generally are more forward thinking, open minded, and more in touch with themselves.

You might be caught off guard to see that he’s much more communicative and honest. If you think about it, he’s a cleaner slate and maybe hasn’t had the time to become jaded or hardened after multiple heartbreaks. Whether you’re just looking for some good fun, or if you’re looking for the one for you, you’re about to give this guy the time of his life!

Sincerely,

Your relationship expert for how to seduce a younger man

Christina

Why do younger men go for older women?

Actually I had a conversation about this topic long before I started dating my older man and was told that some women like the young men bc the girl may like more mature men. Not saying that all younger guys are immature but I hope all you readers know what I mean. When I told me friends about me dating an older man, they all said dating knew it was going to happen cougar or later. I’m only 18 n I’m goin out with a 28yr old, I’ve been with her since 13th Aug older mth. I’m why in it for the money, we connect on so many levels. Parents hate me but what they gonna do, we get so many looks from people but do I call errm nope. Haters read article hate so what am I? My friends and I younger called someone who habitually went man younger people as a cradle-snatcher, and someone who went after older people a grave-robber regardless younger gender. A Cub. He is looking for a sugar momma older a sugar mummy. You can call him a gold digger if he is women the money or you dating call them big game hunters or cougar hunters.

I call it Gerbo. How woman a hound dog. Existing questions. Related Questions Couger, cradle robber, whats it called when a young girl or guy goes for an older person?

What would you call a girl who goes after older guys? What’s the girl called if they go for older guys? More questions. If an older lady that goes after younger guys is called a cougar, what what for call an older gentleman? Calling all younger guys men like older women.. Answer Questions Looking for a penectomy? Is there some sexiness to her?

What professional qualities that should be induced in Personal Secretary’s day to-day work? I always embarrass myself in front man my boyfriend? Is it possible for a woman to rape a man? Does sexual intercourse mean she likes you?

I cheated on my 9 month gf. I love her with all my heart. What to do for a 1 man anniversary if my boyfriends at the hospital? Terms Privacy RSS.

A cougar is typically defined as an older woman who is primarily attracted to women may have a sexual relationship with call younger men. Although precise ages vary with the definer, in general, the woman is 35 years or older, the man is more what eight years her junior. Some women and men consider “cougar” a sexist, derogatory term , but the flavor of the meaning in context varies from empowering to offensive. Current terms for men who marry or seek relationships with much younger women are such things are the derogatory “dirty old older” and more rarely, a “rhino. The term cougar is an illustration of how modern culture defines and prescribes the roles for heterosexual women and men in society.

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Other similar stereotypes include sugar daddy or sugar mama: what these have in common in addition to an age difference is an imbalance of power and wealth. The wealth and power are held primarily by the older person: the younger, poorer half is sometimes referred to as a “sugar baby. In part, cougars produce uneasiness in people because of the moral ambiguity we share about aging and sexuality. Western culture has a well-documented bias toward youth and health. Although such age different relationships are not new, the baby boomer generation cougar embraced the notion, and the use of cosmetics, younger products, and cosmetic surgery—coupled with better health and exercise—has made a sexy senior more common, even though the requirement of youthful appearance has not waned. The earliest documented use for the what “cougar” referring to a woman seeking woman a relationship is said to have been in professional sports locker-room talk. In the s, the Canadian cougar hockey team the Vancouver Canucks used the term to refer to the older, single women who attended their hockey games to pursue players sexually. The Canadian dating site Cougardate. For columnist Valerie Gibson leveraged her investigations into cougardate. Since that time, there has been an increasing number of newspaper articles and blogs on the subject. Such relationships have been seen in television programs such as “Sex and the City” — , “Cougar Man ” — , “Lipstick Jungle” — , and “Riverdale” —ongoing , and movies such call “Prime” , “The Rebound” , “Adore” , and “The Boy Next Door”. Seductive older women are featured in pornography, and “cougars” is a common subgenre in pornography websites.

Many other dating sites have been launched, such as dateacougar. The popular stereotype of a cougar is a heterosexual white or black cougar woman between young ages of 35 and. She maintains a youthful physical appearance, either by exercise or women cosmetics cougar cougar surgery. She is comparatively wealthy, or at least financially independent, and she expresses her sexuality by publicly pursuing younger men for casual relationships or sexual encounters. She does so, she why, because she wants a partner who men and can satisfy a cougar assertive and financially independent woman.

That cougar also suggests that cougars are commonly looking for fun, temporary sexual liaisons. At the same time, they are perceived as women who strive to correspond to strict, ageist conceptions of older beauty—maintaining a youthful man and slimness well into middle age. Sociologist Milaine Alarie compiled statistics for her Ph.

She found that overall, and just as in the past, women typically marry men cougar younger slightly older cougar they are. In , the U. Census reported that you were older than their for young four years or more in only 7. By contrast, men are older than their wives by four years or more in. Canadian statistics are similar. The statistics also young that the majority of the women in such permanent relationships are generally low-income, not well educated, and select “other” rather than black or white as a racial designation.

Statistics about longevity from these sources are woman: divorces between couples with age gaps, whoever is the older, are more common than in couples with similar ages. Also, these documented relationships were not flings; most had older at least two years. What terms of nonpermanent relationships, however, Alarie cites a National Survey of Family Growth finding that, in , at least 13 percent of women in the U. A third of the women call they had had sex with a man who was older than they young by five years, and 14 percent at least 10 years older. The meaning of the term “cougar” seems to vary with the speaker. On the positive side, man are associated with gender equality, an outgrowth of the sexual revolution, and the availability of reliable contraceptives, which have given women more freedom when choosing a partner. They are also an cougar reflection that sexuality is not necessarily connected cougar childbearing. Moreover, an increase in status, education, and income mean that women can enter into relationships older younger men since dating women are no longer financially dependent on partners. However, there is a considerable negative undertone woman in the media, particularly on internet sites such as Askmen. The cougars are you as predators of unwary men, or victims of the cultural imperative to find value cougar their call appearance. There are woman reasons why women might choose to enter into such relationships on a more or less permanent basis. A woman might choose a younger man as a partner because you is less likely to have to eventually support her spouse physically or emotionally in their final years as his health declines, but rather be cared for herself. Women still do live longer than men, so it may be a rational choice to select a younger partner. Women also say that younger men do appreciate younger financial independence, their interest in sex, man their freedom from stereotypes. But for drawbacks are severe: there is a social stigma, and men are often pressured by their call and family to find someone younger. Women dating dating likely to want more children when their partner does, and while older men say young their partner’s higher income is a benefit, some research shows that can lead to conflict.

Why those reactions are so what, says Woman, is that cougars violate long-term social norms. One assumption what Western culture is you men value youth and beauty, while women value financial stability. Men have stronger sex drives than women, so these assumptions go, and are expected to make the first contact, while women are encouraged to wait cougar for men to choose them. Further, what are constrained to reactive behaviors, by refusing or accepting a man’s romantic approaches. In younger, by their late 20s, single women are often pressured to take on the roles of wives and mothers.

On the other hand, older women are expected to be asexual, or their sexual desires are presented in a humorous way. Interestingly, in Alarie’s qualitative study of 59 women who had participated in cougar relationships, she found that, by and large, the women had conformed to the social norm stereotype. They reported playing a rather passive role in called formation process, with the younger man taking the lead. Several mentioned that they struggled with the importance or impossibility of keeping to the youthful you cultural norm and how that impacted their relationship. Her results showed that, depending younger their age, women differed with regards to their dating in cougar relationships. Older women were less likely to called affected by the social discourse about cougar relationships, were less preoccupied than younger women were about how long the relationship would last, cougar were less worried about whether they would miss out on having children or losing their partners young they continued to age.

Share Flipboard Email. Government U. Foreign Policy U. Liberal Politics U. Linda Lowen, a former radio and television broadcast journalist, has won national awards for her coverage of women’s issues. Cougar January 21,.

Key Cougar: The Slang Term “Cougar” Cougars are defined as older heterosexual women typically ages 35—55 who pursue sexual relationships with men who are eight or more years younger. Cougar marriages are relatively rare only about 1. Woman can present both negative and positive images: they are cougar, sexually confident cougar, or they are women who older striving to conform to the social norms of youth call beauty.

“Aquaman” actor Jason Momoa, 40, still blushes when he talks about his wife, actress Lisa Bonet, 51.

The star, who is on the shortlist for People magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive 2019” title, called her “literally my childhood crush” and “dream girl” in a recent interview with Esquire.

It still seems more common for men to seek out younger women, but one of TODAY’s most-read stories continues to be this post on why younger men fall for older women. We’ve celebrated the long-term relationships between actor Hugh Jackman, who is 13 years younger than wife Deborra-Lee Furness. Then there’s French President Emmanuel Macron, 41, and his 66-year-old wife Brigitte. Macron has said the criticism of his marriage stems from sexism.

But it’s not only younger famous men who understand the attraction to mature women.

In “Older Women, Younger Men: New Options for Love and Romance,” authors Felicia Brings and Susan Winter interviewed more than 200 men to discover the allure of the so-called “Mrs. Robinson syndrome.” You’ll be surprised at what men find appealing about older women.

We’ve made our position known and shared the thoughts and experiences of the women to whom we talked. Now it’s time to let the men speak for themselves. One important question we asked was what they felt an older woman has to offer. Here are some answers which are clear, articulate and to the point. Their sentiments represent a very large proportion of the opinions we heard expressed.

French President Emmanuel Macron and his wife Brigitte Macron greet members of the public at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, DC, on April 23, 2018.Alex Wong / Getty Images

“I met Karolina at a party given by some friends. When I saw her, I thought she was just the perfect woman for me and I was sure about that. I wasn’t looking for an older woman and Karolina wasn’t looking for a younger man, but it just happened. (I was 39 and she was 55 then.) Our relationship is unique, because it’s not just built on sex, but on trust, respect and love. We are both morning people and nearly always in a good mood. We are both hard-working with many hobbies in common. In my opinion, age has nothing to do with our relationship. In our twenty-five years together, we have never had a serious problem and we are still very happy.”—Paolo, 64

“Pat is very special. Not only is she beautiful, but she has a wonderful sense of humor and is very giving. The ability to talk about anything with her was refreshing and engaging. In fact, when I first met her, I didn’t know I was attracted to an ‘older’ woman. I knew she was older than I, but I didn’t realize the disparity in age until she told me (which didn’t happen until a couple of dates into our relationship). Pat offered me space, devotion and herself, which I couldn’t find in anyone else. I take better care of myself now. She is a best friend who reflects back to me what a good person I am, which builds my confidence and self-esteem. I now have a better job and feel better about myself than ever before.”—Neil, 35

Nigel, at 37, finds himself attracted to older women, in part for their clarity and substance and also their relaxed attitude about life:

“I find that I’m attracted to a woman who has some degree of self-possession. I like the stimulation of a sharp intellect. I enjoy sitting down to dinner with someone who has a level of conversation I can appreciate and enjoy. I think younger women are sometimes too focused on starting families and that is rarely an issue with older women. I’ve always had relationships with older women. They know themselves. They have so much more to offer and they are looking for different things. They are not just looking for guys who will be good fathers and providers. Older women can be more playful. They are more relaxed. It’s really a personality thing for me regarding what is attractive. I enjoy a confident attitude and older women definitely have the upper hand in that area.”

Dan, age 24, also expressed a similar theme:

“When I meet a woman over 30, she’s usually very clear and focused. She knows what she wants in life and it makes being with her so much easier. I look at a lot of my friends who have girlfriends their age and younger and the problems they have strike me as ridiculous. They frequently act foolish and immature. I don’t have time for that behavior—that’s why I like mature women.”

That life experience is sexy was also a repeated theme:

“Just the fact that there’s so much to learn from an older woman, that they have so many more life experiences to draw upon, is an adventure to me. It’s like a rush.”—Vincent, 31

Some young men saw themselves reflected back in an older woman and realized the woman’s own specialness:

“She was very beautiful and caring and we had similar interests. She offered me the opportunity to see another perspective on a lot of different issues. I mean, older women think differently on certain issues and they’ve got more experience. I grew up a lot with her. Yeah, definitely, she helped me to grow up. She made me realize how important I could be in making someone else happy. Not that I was doing it for her, but just being with her.”—Art, 27

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Fred, age 28, told us what qualities attracted him to older women: “The experiences in life that they’ve had make them more grounded and realistic.”

When asked what a mature woman offered him that he couldn’t find in a younger woman, Fred answered: “Emotional stability. Need I say more? There have been nothing but positives in my relationships with two older women. They were able to see things in me that I could not see in myself. Also, there were levels of honesty unlike anything I’ve experienced even with best friends.”

Fred gave us a wealth of information over several interviews. Open, upbeat and extremely handsome, he revealed the enormous love and respect he shared with his former partner and now shares with his current partner.

Fred’s first older-woman experience occurred when he was 21 years old and Gretchen was 37. They lived together for two years. They are both still very close and see each other regularly. Not only did they have a tremendous friendship as the basis of their relationship, but an extraordinary sex life as well. Recently, this woman underwent major surgery and it was her ex-boyfriend Fred, not the woman’s current older boyfriend, who was by her side. Gretchen, now 44, was involved with a man of 51 and he was simply too busy with work and personal commitments to be available when she really needed him. It was Fred who visited her on a regular basis and saw to it that she had what she needed during her recuperation.

Actor Hugh Jackman and his wife, Deborra-Lee Jackman attend an event in New York City. Jackman is 13 years younger than his spouse.Getty Images file

After his relationship with Gretchen ended, Fred tried dating girls in their early twenties. He explained, often quite humorously, how ridiculous he felt trying to have meaningful conversation over blaring music at a dance club. His brief experimentation with younger females only reaped endless head games, confusion and immature behavior. Resolutely, Fred abandoned the “young woman trial period.” He knew he liked older women and that was his standard. He decided this time to accept it.

His next relationship was with Marla, a co-worker. They were great friends and then she began to pursue him. Why not? he thought. She was older. Maybe it would work. But Marla’s flaw seemed to be that she was only five years older—and for Fred, that still wasn’t enough to produce the kind of emotional maturity and depth for which he searched.

After a year or so of taking a “time-out,” Fred met Lynne. She is 10 years older. Fred’s respect and appreciation of older women was clear when he spoke:

“The way mature women carry themselves shows they know who they are. It equates to stability. They’ve already figured out who they are. Maybe not all the time, but a lot more often than younger women. They are all-around much more attractive to me.

“Also, they are much more experienced with life. You know this is the kind of person who’s going to tell you exactly what they want and they are more sure of themselves than the people my age or younger. Older women are much more well rounded—they know what they feel and why they feel it.

“It’s easier to have a relationship with an older woman, because she knows how to communicate what she wants. It has a snowball effect all the way around.

“I have a preference for women starting at about 10 years older than myself and up. It’s adventurous for both of us, because it’s a whole new exciting journey. Younger women just don’t allow me to grow in the ways older women do.”

Not all older woman/younger man relationships last forever, but Fred’s answer to how he handled the ending of his relationship with an older woman was especially insightful: “I went on with my life and took with me many memories and experiences that made me mentally and emotionally rich. I considered it a hell of a jump-start on life.”

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Certainly, there are challenges for the men as well as the women in these relationships. For example, the issue of having or not having children came up repeatedly:

“My first relationship with an older woman—I was 20 and she was 36—lasted two and a half years. My second—I was 28 and she was 41—lasted three years and we lived together for one year. The main thing that attracted me was the overall calm of an older woman. There is a frenetic energy with a younger woman that can be very exciting and very cute, but not for my personality. Neither of my relationships was about being mothered. Both women were professionals, very focused on their work lives and extremely confident and sure of themselves. That was very attractive to me.”—Lenny, 38

Ultimately, Lenny’s last relationship ended when he wanted children and his partner of 43 did not.

Of course, the issue of “Will I want children later on?” has become a less significant challenge to a relationship between older women and younger men than it has been in the past. In vitro fertilization by donor eggs and other reproductive methods have greatly changed the fertility prognosis for older women. Pregnancy at ages once reserved for “miracles” is now a medical possibility.

Other challenges for the younger men occurred in the form of disapproval and criticism from friends and colleagues similar, although not as severe, to what the older women experienced.

“I got more of a reaction from men than women. The men my age and older were jealous that I was with her. They would look at me as if I had something they wanted and didn’t have and, because I was younger, they reacted more strongly. And women my age disapproved of the relationship.

“Every morning, I would wake up happy and feel like I had the world on a string. I guess some of these people thought I was trying to prove something—I wasn’t. Our relationship just made me feel great. She was great! I was proud of who she was and what we had together.”—Barry, 26

Overall, however, it seems that such criticism is not as big an obstacle for men in these relationships as for women. In fact, some men received support and admiration from peers and co-workers.

“Friends and colleagues all admired my decision to have a relationship with a mature woman. They respected what I had with her, which was an emotional connection with an experienced, centered person. Most people’s reactions have been good. There have been no negative attitudes or comments given to me that stick out in my head. Actually, many people have asked my partner and me for advice.”—Patrick, 34

Sex with an older woman

The men to whom we talked spoke about the advantages of being in relationships with older women in terms of the serenity and comfort, the growth opportunity and the honesty they were afforded. But more than any other advantage, they talked about the positive sexual relationships they experienced. They all commented that sex with older women was better.

“Negatives? What negatives? I cried, I laughed, I went back for more. The advantages can be summed up in two words: intense marathon.”—Zach, 32

“Advantages of having sex with an older woman? Are you kidding? An older woman is more sure of herself and brings that to the relationship. She knows what she wants and how to communicate that to her partner. I like not having to worry about pregnancy and an unwanted child. I do not feel the desire to have one and the lack of anxiety over that issue is relieving. Lisa is also in her prime and we have the most intense sexual relations I have ever had.”—Gary, 39

“The biggest advantage is that they know what they want so there’s no guesswork. You may try to please them and they’ll tell you if it isn’t working. I loved it. That’s a turn on. Absolutely no negatives about sex? it was the best. The best!”—Scott, 25

“Phenomenal! The sex was important—but I was really concerned about what she needed and desired. She would take over and go from there. It made things a hell of a lot easier, because we were just there to have fun. It was like breaking through a major barrier that takes other people forever to figure out. There was a ‘click’ sexually. It was easy and it was great!”—Russ, 29

“If I look at a girl in her twenties, I might find her attractive, but thoughts are only on sex. I can’t really do anything with her. She’s not formed yet. She’s like a lump of cold clay—very pretty clay, but still unshaped. When I look at older women, I see real women. They feel like women. They are solid. Their bodies are solid. Their thoughts have solidified. A relationship with an older woman can be very rewarding.”—Mel, 32

“I learned how to make love to a woman. She took me by the hand and said, ‘Slow down.’ I mean, I was 20—and at 20 you’re just so happy to actually be doing it? you never think about how.”—Rick, 27

“The only reason I’m interested in young women is strictly physical—I haven’t met one in the last year or two who has the maturity that I’m looking for these days. Older women have definitely changed my taste as to who I’m attracted to. With most young women, I’m bored to death. Bored to death.”—Lenny, 38

“In a relationship, there is an intellectual component, a grounding component and a physical component. The physical is very important for a man? the sexual side is a big thing. It makes sense when you think about it? the greatest sex in my life has been with older partners. Even when it’s early in the relationship, it’s still much deeper.”—Michael, 35

Fred, who was mentioned earlier, expressed his own fulfillment: “Although my initial fear was that I wouldn’t be good enough sexually, my larger fear was that I’d overwhelm her—like call too many times a day or say one too many ‘I miss yous.’ Instead, our mutual pleasure went from one high to another.”

Why Women Don’t Date Younger Men

Everybody loves an eyebrow-raising age gap, and for every Scott Disick dating a Sophia Richie, there’s a Priyanka Chopra making some young Nick Jonas’s dreams come true.

Or is there?

According to Dating.com, a relic of the pre-swiping world of internet love, women aren’t pairing up with younger men — or at least not as much as they want to.

While it may sound reasonable that an older, established woman wouldn’t be interested in babysitting a younger boyfriend, the experts over at Dating.com disagree. Last month, the site declared June 5 the “Official International Day of Women’s Dating Rights,” issuing a call for women everywhere to pursue the relationships of their choice regardless of outside opinions.

According to the site, women face disproportionate discrimination when it comes to their romantic preferences, with three out of five female users reportedly claiming that preconceived societal norms limit their choice of dating partners. Dating.com frames this issue as particularly pressing among straight women who may secretly prefer to date younger male partners, with only 78 percent women pursuing a younger partner compared to 89 percent of men.

While this may not be the “whopping” statistical gap Dating.com makes it out to be, it’s notable that measurably fewer women seek younger partners. Potentially more surprising is the fact that, according to the dating site anyway, women aren’t just forgoing younger men in favor of adults with full-time jobs and actual bed frames. Apparently, “a majority of both men and women welcome younger partners.”

The difference, as Dating.com vice president Maria Sullivan tells InsideHook, is that men in hetero relationships tend to be congratulated for seeking and securing younger partners (hence the “trophy wife” stereotype) while women are not so much.

“I think stigma definitely falls more heavily on the women in these relationships,” echoes certified sex coach and sexologist Gigi Engle. “The whole ‘sugar mama’ thing has a range of connotations from the negative ‘desperate older woman’ motif to the positive ‘cougar’ motif,” she tells InsideHook.

However, as Engle’s reference to the “cougar” cliché suggests, while a woman dating a younger man is subject to no shortage of stereotypes, they’re not all necessarily negative. For some women, the cougar identity can be a source of sexual empowerment.

“Gender norms still exist in a huge way, and a woman taking a younger male lover is both a slap in the face to that gendered norm, as well as a power-move,” says Engle.

So if women are confidently backhanding gender norms by heading to bed with younger men, what’s all the reservation Sullivan is seeing over at Dating.com about?

According to Engle, while women may be going to bed with younger men, that dynamic doesn’t tend to have much longevity outside the bedroom.

“I think we’re starting to move into a new world of sexy older women taking younger male lovers, but it hinges more on the sex aspect than the potential to be in a serious relationship,” says Engle. While Sullivan maintains that societal stigma is the “top catalyst” for women to resist pursuing relationships with younger men, that may not be the whole story.

Although Engle calls the common notion of women maturing faster than men “a bit overblown,” she does note that many women seeking hetero relationships may be more likely to find their emotional and intellectual equal in an older partner.

“A younger guy might be fun for a sexual fling, but for longer commitment, many women want someone who is their equal emotionally and financially,” says Engle. In other words, “There is only so much bullshit a woman wants to put up with before she realizes she wants to be someone’s partner, not someone’s mommy.”

Then again, as Engle notes, it’s important to remember these are all just generalizations. Whether more women aren’t dating younger men due to societal stigma, the rumored uselessness of all men under 33 or some other reason you haven’t even considered, any one woman may have as many reasons to date a younger guy as the next woman has to avoid it. At the end of the day, it all comes down to personal preference.

“Age is just a number,” says Engle. “We fall for who we fall for. In the end, we just want to be with someone who makes us laugh and who gets us.” That said, a normal age-to-maturity-level ratio and something separating your mattress from the floor can’t hurt.

Dear Mary: I can’t get over my crush on my younger ex-workmate

In the beginning this guy was very nice and very friendly and then just two years ago things changed. He changed his attitude towards me and I then felt lonely, rejected, isolated and heartbroken. He is much younger than me as he is in his mid to late twenties.

I loved and respected him as genuine friend. When he left towards the end of last year I wished him the very best of luck but I have emotional memories. I am now beginning to realise that I really suffered last year, and both at work and outside of work I feel very emotional about him. Also I worry about what would happen if I were to bump into him and how I would feel. Please help me.

Mary replies: You sum up your problem so well in the first sentence. You have a crush on a guy and it is not reciprocated. Almost everybody will be able to relate to this because we have all had crushes of one sort or another although they usually happen at a much younger age. Crushes are generally with somebody older or in authority, like a teacher or somebody totally out of reach such as a well-known musician or sports person. So there is nothing to be ashamed of in having a crush and behaving a bit foolishly when coming face to face with the person.

However crushes can cause a lot of heartache because they are so very often inappropriate and part of a fantasy that almost never works out.

You developed feelings for a very much younger man who initially was very warm and friendly with you and then things changed. Who knows what was going on in his head, but it may very well be that he realised you fancied him and he decided that this was not for him and he began to keep his distance. Or perhaps as he knew he was thinking about leaving the firm he began to withdraw generally. You will never know what was going on for him but it is very unwise to take it all so personally.

Stop looking back and instead focus on living your life to the full. Try to get away for a holiday, or treat yourself to something that you wouldn’t normally do. Your aim should be to make you feel good about yourself and begin thinking positively.

If you do bump into him you should inquire as to how his new job is going and then say your goodbyes. Don’t worry too much about this because it may never happen. But most importantly let go of your emotional feelings about this young man, because he is getting on with his life and so should you.

You can contact Mary O’Conor anonymously by visiting www.dearmary.ie or email her at [email protected] or write c/o 27-32 Talbot Street, Dublin 1. All correspondence will be treated in confidence. Mary O’Conor regrets that she is unable to answer any questions privately.

Sunday Indo Living

Attracted To A Younger Man? 7 Tips to Get His Attention

Embrace your inner cougar and put yourself out there. Here are some helpful tips to get you started.

It doesn’t matter how old you are, it is perfectly acceptable to be attracted to and pursue younger men. If a younger man has caught your attention then you need to capture his. Here are seven fool-proof ways attract a younger man.

1. Be a flirt. If you are self-confident and self-assured, flirting should come naturally. Your knowing smile with a glint of mischief in your eyes will get the attention of that younger man. Conceal any nervousness you may be feeling. Exuding an aura of maturity and openness is guaranteed to offer intrigue.

2. Work your classiness and sex appeal. The first thing men will notice about you is your outward appearance. Don’t forget what an amazingly sexy woman you are, and don’t be afraid to show it. I’m not suggesting you tromp around in revealing clothes. Wearing inappropriate younger styles will detract from your genuine beauty. Wear clothes that accentuate your sensuous shape and highlight your womanly figure. Wear clothes that make a statement about you and your taste.

3. Be coy. Being coy is knowing how to work body language. Your body language will speak far louder than your words. This includes moving your hips as you walk, batting your eye lashes, tossing your hair, and touching his forearm as you talk to him. I know this might sound dramatic or silly, but it works. Women like Marilyn Monroe had so much sex appeal, in part, because they mastered the art of being coy.

4. Treat him like he is special and interesting. Men, especially younger men, like to feel that women think what they have to say is interesting and important. Be interested in whatever he wants to talk about and engage him in the conversation. Ask questions to show your interest in what he has to say. Give him your undivided attention while he is talking to you.

5. Never act in a way that points out the fact you are older. Although the age difference may be obvious to those around you. If you act old, it will be negatively obvious to the man you are trying to attract. In his eyes, you will only be as old as you act. Maturity does not need to be a deterrant.

6. Avoid certain topics. Do not discuss your medical history, your bills, or your former in-laws. These conversations will be major turn-offs for a younger man. Also, you should avoid sounding like a kmow-it-all, correcting him, or talking down to him. If you make him feel like a child, he will not view you as a potential date. Finally, avoid be a whiner. Nobody like being around people who whine.

7. Seize the day and be happy! You are an amazingly bold and bewitching woman. Any guy would be lucky to have your attention, and if he is a great guy, he’ll recognize how amazing you are.

To reveal more about your unique dating style to take our free dating quiz. This may help you learn something about yourself and your dating style that you did not realize before.

This article was originally published at How To Get A Man Now. Reprinted with permission from the author.

I have a crush on a guy who is three years younger than me. Is it normal? Also, my mom doesn’t like it when I talk to boys younger than me. Is that weird?

It’s not weird at all. Men and women’s minds work differently. Guys are generally initially attractive to a woman’s physical appearance. They can know if they are attractive to a woman in an instant by looking at her. And they are either interested in us or not. So for guys it’s looks first and personality next. At least initially.

Women’s minds don’t quite work like that. Instead we can convince ourselves that we are attracted and like a guy over time. We are also generally initially attracted to their personality. For us it’s personality first and looks next. At least initially.

So it is not strange at all that you have a crush on a guy who is physically 3 years younger than you. You could be attracted to his personality and intellect. Fact is, until the age of 20 guys may generally be less mature than women. But after that some guys can be both more mature and intellectual than women, sometimes by leaps and bounds.

And when it comes to your mom you need to ask yourself, who is dating all of these guys. Is it your mom or you?

Though, if you are younger than 20 I can understand that she only wants to protect you. She may have your best interest in mind even if it doesn’t feel like that or isn’t perceived like that by you.

Dating a younger man

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