What Do Crush Dreams Mean? 11 Common Dreams About Crushing On Someone, Decoded

I have this reoccurring dream. Since, oh, I don’t know … middle school? It’s always a variation of the same wish fulfillment fantasy: I’m finally getting it on, or about to get it on, with my first crush. Since this is the crush I had from fourth grade until eighth grade, you can imagine my frustration and confusion to still be having this dream well into my 20s. Like, I’m happy with my boyfriend. So what do dreams about my crush mean, considering I have’t actually seen this person in almost 15 years?

I have my theories, of course. I imagine my first crush represents the ultimate wish fulfillment dream. Because my first crush love was never consummated, he’s probably come to represent my version of Prince Charming, the “perfect man,” because I never really knew him as one, and so he couldn’t disappoint me.

But of course, there are many variations of crush dreams — it’s not just about finally making sweet, sweet love. Often, we’re about to get together when I suddenly wake up, cursing the dream gods. Sometimes, he’s there at the same time as my boyfriend. So I decided to investigate what the many different types of crush dreams mean, in an effort to (perhaps) understand my own psyche a little better. Here’s the scoop, according to the dream interpretation sites DreamBible and DreamMoods.

Best click this and listen while you read this, if you want to do it right.

Mezz1034 on YouTube

If You Have A Dream About Your Real, Current Crush…

Not surprisingly, dreaming about your real, current crush is a wish fulfillment dream of a real-life desire. Because you’re thinking about them all day long, it makes sense you’d dream about them too.

DreamBible adds that a dream about a real crush may represent “feelings that that person or a desirable goal may be too good for you. Jealousy that you won’t measure up, be attractive enough, or get to experience something at all. Spending too much time looking at what you want and not enough on getting what you want.” In other words, go for it already.

If You Dream That Your Crush Has Died…

Well, this is a sh*tty dream. It’s not just a nightmare, though. According to DreamMoods, “to dream that your crush has died suggests that your feelings for her or him is waning; the crush is no longer as strong. The dream may also be telling you to move on.” Harsh, subconscious. Harsh.

If You Have A Dream About An Old Crush…

Andrew Zaeh for Bustle

Acording to DreamBible, dreaming about an old crush in a positive context means “you may be experiencing good luck, new opportunities, or a really enjoyable experience.” If the dream is negative (i.e. you don’t like them or something is preventing you from being together, “you may be experiencing situations where you are too shy or scared to go after your goals.”

DreamMoods adds that you might be dreaming about a crush because “perhaps a waking relationship is repeating the same pattern.” So maybe, dreaming about an old crush next to a current partner means you are recognizing similar qualities in them.

If You Dream Someone Has A Crush On You…

If you dream that somebody has a crush on you, it means you’re feeling good about yourself. It could also represent new opportunities and excitement about something else in your life.

If, on the other hand, you dream someone likes you who you don’t like back, it means those new opportunities don’t excite you.

If You Dream About Your Crush All The Time…

According to DreamDictionary, if you’re dreaming about your crush on an ongoing basis, it means that not only are you probably thinking about them during the day, but you also have a desire to express your true feelings to them, and your subconscious is telling you to just go for it already.

If You Dream That You’re Rejected By Your Crush…

Andrew Zaeh for Bustle

This is the worst, and it symbolizes your insecurities and anxiety about whether you’re worthy of love and success.

If You Dream Your Crush Likes You Back…

This dream is obviously about your inner hope and desire to be with that person, but it also represents a confidence and optimism on your part that you deserve to be liked back.

Dreammoods adds that if you dream they like you back,”then your dream may be telling you that it is time to let this person know how you feel, especially if you are dreaming of her or him in a good way.”

If You Dream About A Celebrity Crush…

According to DreamBible, we dream about celebrity crushes because we’re wishing someone we could meet in real life would live up to the qualities we admire in them. “Ask yourself what feelings or memories are the strongest when you think about the person and try to see if any of your current goals give you those same feelings. You may feel that you are not good enough for something.”

If You Dream About A Crush On A Stranger…

According to DreamBible, dreaming about a stranger “represents feelings about new or unexpected possibilities being out of reach.”

If You Dream You Have A Crush On A Different Gender Than You’re Normally Attracted To….

Andrew Zaeh for Bustle

So if you have a dream that you have a crush on a girl, does that mean you’re secretly gay? Or if you’re a lesbian but have a dream about a crush on a gay, are you actually straight?

Ehhh, not so much. According to DreamMoods, a gay crush dream when you’re straight “represents a union with aspects of yourself. It is symbolic of self-love, self-acceptance, and compassion. If you are uncomfortable with homosexuality in your dream, then it suggests some fears or anxieties femininity you may be experiencing some insecurity in your relations with the opposite sex.”

I can’t seem to find anything out there about what a straight crush dream means if you’re gay, so dream interpreters, get on that, sheesh.

If You Dream That You Have A Crush On Someone You Don’t Actually Like IRL…

Ugh, ever had one of these and woken up needing a shower? According to DreamBible, it doesn’t necessarily mean you secretly harbor feelings for them. “To dream of having a secret crush on someone that you don’t like or hate may reflect feelings of unattainable desire to be rid of something unpleasant for good. Feeling that you are not good enough to eliminate something you don’t like from your life for good. Feeling jealous that you will never get to be mean to someone, get revenge on someone, or embarrass someone.” God, you’re mean in your dreams.

Want more of Bustle’s Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way, which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our SoundCloud page.

Images: planetchopstick/Flickr; Giphy

Dreaming Of A Girl

The dream of a girl is connected to out your own ideas and beliefs and spiritual acceptance and love. Sometimes this dream is connected to a close female in life.Â

For the most part, this dream is about healthy connections with females in your life. You will be pleased to know that this is a positive dream. Dreaming about a little girl indicates that you are hoping for a better tomorrow and the dream can have many meanings depending on the context of the symbols. I am going to break down what this dream means specifically so you can gain an overview.Â

Spiritual Bond: If you have been to my site before you will know I am a strong advocate of spirituality and there is a strong conviction that there is something growing. There is a spiritual and emotional bond between yourself and a female. Sometimes we are in desperate need to love and happiness and we need guidance and direction. The little girl showing up in the dream can sometimes mean this. If you are female and you happen to be exploring possibilities for yourself or a female then this dream will normally occur. From another aspect, if you are a women, the little girl in a dream can mean you want a little girl in real life. A baby.Â

Dreaming of a little girl who is healthy and beautiful can suggest joy, care, hope and happiness. A girl in your dream represents a symbol of love relations, a female in your life and maturity. A few weeks ago, I had a dream about seeing a little girl on a swing and the dream kept coming to the front of my mind throughout the day, it was a positive dream though but I kept thinking about seeing this little girl. Seeing a girl in a playground is positive and can mean you will be playing with new ideas. In order to decode this dream I am going to look at the dream symbols. Let’s focus on the girl symbol for now.Â

What does the “girlâ€\x9D symbol mean in dreams? According to many dream books that I have read the symbol of a girl is positive. If you are a male this dream can symbolize your inner desire for a female. This could also represent comfort from a mother or sister.Â

If you find the girl is very pretty in your dream, it can suggest that you’re focused on trying to focus yourself on a task or goal. If you dream about cuddling a little girl, it signifies comfort in life. Looking after a girl you do not know in real life signifies that you need comfort. Although most girl dreams are linked with comfort and female feelings, not every dream about a girl has the same interpretation.

Age of girl: The age of the girl is also an important factor in interpreting your dream. If a baby girl featured in your dream, it symbolizes innocence. It might suggest that you will encounter a fun family experience. To see a girl that is age between 1-4 years old (toddler) indicates wisdom and comfort. To see an older little girl (4-13 years old) represents a female aspect of yourself or if female you want a little girl. To see a teenage girl represents our own teenage years.

Fighting: If you were fighting with a girl in your dream, it stands for courage and self-esteem. Maybe you will get involved in something that will require confidence and courage to solve the problem or get out of a chaotic situation. The dream may also signify strained love. If you were arguing with your partner recently, it might be the reason why you’re having this dream.

Dreaming of a girl cryingÂ

If the girl is crying in your dream it signifies bad luck and misfortune. The dream is advising you to postpone the financial projects you have. A girl crying in your dream can also (to some degree) denote that you’ve hurt someone’s feelings badly.

A girl dancing in your dreamÂ

Dancing is a positive dream symbol. So, if you witnessed a girl dancing in a dream, it suggests that you may be enjoying a prosperous period in the future.Â

A girl waiting for you in your dream

If you dreamed about a girl who was waiting for you, it denotes a secret love. Maybe you have been promised something in the past. Or maybe there is an old crush that you don’t see anymore. Someone waiting for you in your dream also symbolizes a opportunity that is waiting for you. However, if you wait for too long, someone else might take away something important from you – right before your eyes!

What does it mean when you dream about seeing a beautiful girl?

As I mentioned before, the girl symbol is associated with comfort, desires, love relations, and maturity. However, it’s also associated with prosperity, wealth, and innocence. The little girl stands for emotions and sensitive side of the dreamer.

Dreaming of a beautiful girl symbolizes perception and intuition. Maybe you have good perception and intuition but you’re not using either when you need to. If the girl in your dream was unknown, it signifies a fresh approach and a new beginning.

If you found the girl beautiful or attractive in your dream, perhaps you’ve met someone that left a big impression on you in waking life.

According to some dream books, seeing a beautiful girl in your dream discovers your deep wish to meet someone that will fit you perfectly. Others say that you will meet your soul mate at last. However, instead of hoping your dream to predict or shape your future, shape it yourself.

As Abraham Lincoln once said: “The best way to predict your future is to create itâ€\x9D. And he couldn’t be more right. Seeing a beautiful girl in a dream might signify your most sensitive thoughts and memories.

Maybe you’ve seen someone in waking life, that reminded you of something sensitive and painful or beautiful that has happened to you in your past.

Or you’ve seen the same beautiful girl in your waking life. When encontering this type of dream – you must pay attention to details if you want to find the real meaning. All our dreams reflect our subconscious. So, it’s important to remember the dream and this will help you discover how everything’s related. Maybe your dream is warning you or advising you about looking out for deception regarding a female.

What does dreaming about a girl you know mean?

If you saw a girl that you know in your dream, it symbolizes good luck. Spiritually speaking the girl is the messenger of good luck trying to foretell some future positive experience or feelings. In old folklore, a dream of a girl is a sign of romance, and seeing an ugly girl in a dream state denotes a challenging time ahead (sorry to say). Seeing a little girl that turns into something else might indicate something will be unexpected. A crying girl might (in ancient dream books) indicate money issues. Instead of making investments, improve your current strategies.

What does dreaming of a girl in a dress mean?

If you saw a girl you know in your dream in a white dress, it stands for momentary pleasure/benefit. If you saw a beautiful and young girl you know in your dream wearing a pink dress, it symbolizes joy, fortune, and prosperity. If she was an attractive, well-educated and well-dressed, it stands for personal and professional progress.Â

What does dream psychologists say about dreaming of a girl?

According to Sigmund Freud, the Austrian expert on psychoanalysis, seeing a girl in your dream, is a symbol of repressed desire and wishes. He believed that this type of dream reveals your suppressed feelings and your wish to explore your experiences in life with something exciting.

However, if you saw your mother or some other motherly figure in your dream as a little girl in a dream, it signifies healing and angel protection.

If you saw an unknown girl in your dream, it represents your feelings and state of mind. If you felt positive in your dream state, it suggests that you’re in peace with yourself and others. However, if you felt unpleasant or uncomfortable in your dream, it foretells an unpleasant and negative experience associated with a female figure in your waking life.

What does dreaming of a baby girl mean?

If you saw a beautiful baby girl in your dream, it symbolizes innocence and naivety. To dream of seeing an ugly baby girl your dream is warning you about an insincere person in your waking life who’s trying to take advantage of you. However, it might also signify an important, beautiful event that will bring joy and good fortune into your life. Alternatively, your dream is trying to remind you to become more independent and try to cease relying on your friends.Â

What does dreaming of a teenage girl mean?

Dreaming of a teenage girl has many different interpretations. If the teenage girl is someone you know the dream can represent your feelings about this particular person.

If you are a female teenager (yourself) and you dream of a female teenager, it signifies your own qualities and attitudes. How you perceived the teenage girl in your dream is important. It shows how you perceive yourself in waking life.

If you felt unpleasant, or dissatisfied when you noticed this person, it means that you’re not fully satisfied with who you’ve become and that you want to apply changes in your life. A young teenager is also a symbol of feelings, sexual attraction, and problems.

As you know, teenagers symbolize problems and difficulties in waking life as well.

If you’re a child and you dream about a female teenager, it signifies your fear of the future. If you’re an adult and you have a dream of a teenager you know, you’re probably re-experiencing all the insecurities, feelings you have had when you were a teenager yourself. A user once emailed me about having a worrying dream of his daughters teenage friend. In this dream, he was driving his truck and kept passing his teenage daughters friend and his daughter on the highway. Never picking them up. Looking deeper into his dream, and the symbols that surrounded the dream it was clear the dream was about how he felt when he was a teenager. He later said he had a feeling life was passing him by. Working through the “symbolsâ€\x9D of the dream, it clearly cam at a time he was out of work and wanted an opportunity. I hope you get my drift here. The dream of “some girlâ€\x9D you know might be your own inner self trying to connect with your inner ambitions.

If you saw a teenager of the opposite sex in your dream, it reveals your uncertainty, idealism, and vulnerability in love relationships.

What does it mean to dream of a toddler?

If you had a dream of a toddler, it symbolizes hope and planning. To see yourself looking after a toddler girl in a dream indicates you are feeling super excited for an idea you’re planning and you hope it leads to profit and success. If the toddler was smiling, it signifies success. If the toddler girl was crying, according to folklore this is a bad omen. If you dream of your own toddler girl this can represent a new beginning and things will just work out.

What does it mean to dream of a baby girl?

To see a baby girl in your dream represents your own naivety, purity, true nature and fragile emotions. Often, we have dreams of a baby girl when we need someone to take care of us. Do you want to feel loved? It also symbolizes fresh ideas, opportunities, and self-development. If the baby was bonny, beautiful, adorable and smiling, it denotes that life will finally smile at you. A baby girl is a positive dream to have.

Is this dream good or bad?

Well, dreaming of a little girl is positive. If you dreamed of a little girl, it symbolizes a pleasant and carefree time in life. All your misunderstandings and issues will come to an end and you’re going to feel better than ever.

In regards to work your personal and professional life will improve because you’ve invested so much time and effort into creating a good life for yourself and other people close to you.

If you were playing with a little girl in your dream, it signifies a new exciting person walking into your life. This person will remind you of your childhood and bring you back in time when you were feeling happy. It also signifies a person who plays with your patience and kindness. They’re currently testing your attitude and reactions.

What is the dream psychology behind dreaming of a girl?

Meeting a girl that you don’t know in real life is connected to your feminine side. The questions you need to ask is if you have been overindulging in something and you need to look after yourself. Turning to Sigmund Freud to dream of a girl that is mysterious suggests that one is worried about change.Â

Seeing an older girl in a dream could be your own body that craves comfort (the type of motherly guidance). If you encounter a positive dream of a girl (if your either male or female) it can indicate a relationship.

What does it mean to see a little girl with blonde hair?

Seeing a little girl with blonde hair is one of the most common girl dreams. It signifies your mental and physical state. It expresses your vitality. The healthier the girl and her blonde hair appear in your dream state, the better both your mental and physical state and vitality. Blonde hair is also a symbol of youthfulness, gentleness, and health.

What does it mean to see a little girl with brown hair?

Dreaming of a little girl with brown hair is another common girl dream. It symbolizes an action that you love doing, something that you’re feeling happy about. Also, brown hair is also a symbol of respect. You’re a well-respected person and you respect others, even for those who don’t respect for you. You have a big authority and most people like you.

What does it mean to see a girl with ginger hair?

If you dreamed about a girl with ginger hair, it means that you lack activity, energy, and spontaneity in waking life. And you know it. So, your dream reflects your current feelings and thoughts. However, were you always like this?

What made you want to become more impulsive and spontaneous?

Consider making some changes in waking life in order to become more content and fulfilled. Break the monotony with doing something exciting.Â

Seeing someone with ginger almost red hair means that you consider this type of people more exciting. So, you probably want to adopt some aspects of their personality. On the other hand, you need to think abouit rejuvenation. It’s also possible that you lack passion in waking life since red hair is a symbol of passion.

What does it mean to see a girl in a playground?

If you dreamed about a girl in a playground, it symbolizes happiness, excitement and having fun. Maybe you lack these things in your waking life. Or you need a bigger change and want to feel excited about life again. Maybe you are not living life how you want to.

Playgrounds symbolize childhood, playfulness and active life. Maybe your dream pushes you to explore your talents and abilities and use them for creating a new life for you. It might also suggest that you want to develop a fun and creative idea, something that you have always wanted to achieve since you were a little child. Explore your own creativity.

What does it mean to have a nightmare about a girl?

Now, if the dream was a nightmare that involved a girl, it can denote that you’re upset about a female in your life. Maybe you’re feeling uncomfortable in the presence of a female in waking life.

However, it might also mean that you’re scared of doing something that requires you to express your femininity and accept some feminine unknown aspects of your personality.Â

Ask yourself if you have been ignoring some things about yourself? Sometimes we are too afraid to admit the truth. Once you do and you accept yourself for who you are, you’ll feel free again. I hope this makes sense to you.


Dreams provide us with a unique perspective on relationships and how we feel about others in waking life, it shows us a changed version of events that happen and even visits from people that we know or do not know in real life. Turning to folklore, dreams about girls represents “femalesâ€\x9D in our life. I do feel this dream is about your own “comfortâ€\x9D and that you might need to talk to females, about problems in your life. I do hope you get comfort in this dream meaning. Blessings, Flo

“I think a woman who has an opening in her heart toward sex with other women or a lesbian relationship would probably have some awareness,” he says. “The dream might surprise her, but it probably wouldn’t shock her.”

Delaney agrees: “People generally aren’t that repressed.”

Still, you might be a bit closer to lesbianism on the sexuality spectrum than you originally thought.

“Most people are on somewhat of a sexual continuum,” Naiman says. “But that doesn’t mean that a woman having this dream is a lesbian.” (ICYDK, tons of straight women get off to lesbian porn, but that doesn’t impact who they choose to date.)

Okay, so what does it mean to have a lesbian sex dream?

I hate to break it to all you dream-dictionary owners, but there “are few, if any, universal meanings to a dream,” says Naiman. The only way to figure out what your imaginary lesbian encounter really means is to ask yourself what it means to you.

The first step is interviewing yourself about your dream. Delaney recommends asking these questions:

  • What happened in the dream?
  • How did the dream feel?
  • Who’s the woman you’re having sex with?
  • What does it feel like to be with her?
  • How does the sex go?

Of course, the answers will depend on your individual experience. That said, Delaney has noticed striking similarities in women’s responses whenever she’s conducted this type of dream interview.

“Almost always, women say it feels wonderful,” she explains. “Some have a more erotic dream, and some have it more loving. But in both cases, the sex goes really well.”

As for your dream’s costar, it’s “likely a woman you know and whom you admire,” says Delaney. Often, she’s further advanced in her career, and might even be your boss. Again, don’t freak out—your dream isn’t an HR violation.

“This dream means you’re accepted and liked by a woman who plays a role in your life goals.”

“The relevant part is what this figure plays in your life. She’s usually someone more along your path, whatever that is,” Delaney explains. “This dream means you really have come a ways to be accepted and liked by a woman who plays a role in your life goals.”

There are exceptions to this dream interpretation, of course, but “the vast majority” of lesbian dreams Delaney has heard actually reveal a woman’s career aspirations—not her sexuality.

If that seems ironic, or weird, it isn’t. “One of the mistakes we make about sexual dreams is that we reduce it to the anatomical, physical act of sex,” Naiman says. “Symbolically, a sexual connection is a connection of love.”

So, regardless of whether or not your dream reflects your personal goals, it might also be about how you connect to women—and womanhood itself.

“Dreaming is not just about our personal unconscious, it’s also about our shared, social, and collective unconscious,” Naiman explains. He believes the evolution of pro-women movements over time, most recently with #MeToo and Time’s Up, have made their way into that collective unconscious.

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And get this—you don’t even have to be actively aware of or involved in these movements to have their underlying effect on society influence your dreams. Translation: Your dream about making love to another woman could simply mean you love women. (I mean, why wouldn’t you? They’re the best.)

Regardless, however your confusing dream went down, don’t overthink it.

“We have to come at the dream—even difficult and frightening dreams—with the presumption that it’s friendly,” Naiman says. “If we don’t, we’re going to lose some of the personal meaning that’s hidden in the dream.”

So, the next time you have a lesbian sex dream (hey, if it happened once, it can happen again), just embrace it. Then maybe tell a boss lady in your life how much you admire her. Spread the love!

Phoenix teacher accused of having sex with 16-year-old girl in 2013

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I Luv Your Girl

Mmm mmm
The American Dream, mmm mmm
And you know what I mean ahh, baam baam
Radio Killa (Ahh)
Trick beat the track up like gorillas (Ahh)
I, I, I, I (Yeah)

We up in the club (Club), I see her do her thang (Thang)
You might wanna rap, but she’ll make you sing (Sing)
See I was on her, but she was on him
She all up on ma thang, I got my thang on her hip
She ATL pop, don’t know how to act
She left for one song, and came right back
Grindin on me, the rest of the night
Her man started muggin’, he could see it in my eyes

Lil’ mama so hood (I love your girl)
Lil’ mama stay fly (I love your girl)
Wife beater with the denim (I love your girl)
She keeps them heels on high (I love your girl)
Man look at shawty roll (I love your girl)
Man, look at shawty go (I love your girl)
I’m sorry I got it in for your girl, girlfriend

Now she run her
Fingers through her hair, he tryna call her over there, but she like
(Fuck! That nigga!) She drop it
Down to the floor, I’m like shorty you should go, but she like
(Fuck! That nigga!)
Call it envy, I want her on me
All up in my head, now she in my bed, I
I, I, I, I

Me and lil’ shawty in the back
Talkin’ bout this, talkin’ bout that
Got her on the ‘Tron, she actin’ all bad
Your girl chose me, don’t be mad
Kelly told y’all don’t bring ’em in the club
The way she rock that, got the boy in love
And I pray that y’all ain’t serious
Cause seriously she’s on my dick

Lil’ mama so hood (I love your girl)
Lil’ mama stay fly (I love your girl)
Wife beater with the denim (I love your girl)
She keeps them heels on high (I love your girl)
Man look at shorty roll (I love your girl)
Man, look at shorty go (I love your girl)
I’m sorry I got it in for your girl, girlfriend

Now she run her
Fingers through her hair, he tryna call her over there, but she like
(Fuck! That nigga!) She drop it
Down to the floor, I’m like shorty you should go, but she like
(Fuck! That nigga!)
Call it envy, I want her on me
All up in my head, now she in my bed, I
I, I, I, I

Ayy, oh I (Ayy)
Oh I
Ayy, oh I
The American Dream (Ayy)

Usually, you won’t
See me hate on another dude
My heart got me up in here willing to
Separate you from ya boo
But she on me, and I’m on her
We walking out the club, shawty what’s up
Mmm I want her in the worst way, plus I
Just found out that it’s her birthday

Lil’ mama so hood (I love your girl)
Lil’ mama stay fly (I love your girl)
Wife beater with the denim (I love your girl)
She keeps them heels on high (I love your girl)
Man look at shorty roll (I love your girl)
Man, look at shorty go (I love your girl)
I’m sorry I got it in for your girl, girlfriend

Now she run her
Fingers through her hair, he tryna call her over there, but she like
(Fuck! That nigga!) She drop it
Down to the floor, I’m like shorty you should go, but she like
(Fuck! That nigga!)
Call it envy, I want her on me
All up in my head, now she in my bed, I
I, I, I, I

Part of me feels so bad, but, ooh
Not that bad
Situation got you mad, I would be
Too, cause damn she bad, damn she
Bad, bad
Bad, bad, damn she
Bad, bad
Bad, bad
Yeahh… heh… heh…

What Gay and Lesbian Sex Dreams REALLY Mean

Girl on girl action may be exciting for a guy, but when we of the fairer sex dream about it, it can be a bit unnerving. And guy on guy action is sometimes displeasing for a man who is an avowed skirt chaser. If you are not gay and you have a gay or lesbian dream, it does not mean you have a hidden desire to bat for the other team. What it does mean is that you are indeed proud of being a member of said team.

The sex with the same gender dreams are cousin to the mystery lover dreams in that the meaning is most often focused on gender roles. For example, when a woman does something that makes her feel particularly feminine, such as mothering a sick friend or getting cat calls from a construction crew across the street, she could very well be the proud recipient of a lesbian dream that night! When a man does something particularly manly, such as getting a raise or replacing the timing belt in his car, he too may very well find a man loving up on him that night.

Dear Lauri,
During the last trimester of my pregnancy I had dreams of having sex with other women. I have had numerous dreams like this. I am not a lesbian. I don’t know why but I would have sex with women I don’t know and have orgasms that felt so real. – Jaymie 29

Believe it or not, lesbian dreams are VERY common during pregnancy! When a woman dreams of being with another woman, it’s because she is feeling very proud of her gender… and there is nothing more female than creating and carrying life inside of you. It is what our bodies were designed to do. You are putting the womb in woman to use. These dreams were merely a celebration of your woman-power.

Jaymie replies: That makes a lot of sense now. I have had many miscarriages and this time I finally made it to the last trimester. It is amazing, and empowering that we women can create another being inside of us.

In my research and experience it seems it is much easier for women to admit to lesbian dreams than it is for men to admit to gay dreams. But when a man does fess up to me, he’s always glad he did because he discovers that his gay dream is actually a reflection of his own manliness. Maybe he got a promotion or landed a hot date… something that made him feel like flexing his inner muscles!

There are many reasons you might have turned gay in your dreams because there are so many reasons to be proud of being a woman or a man. Each gender has attributes we are happy to display and utilize. Women are often proud of their curves, men of their brawn. Nurturing tends to come more naturally to women whereas being a warrior and protector is often an easier role to take on for a man. Accomplishing or displaying an attribute specific to your gender can often lead to a gay dream, not because you desire your own gender but because you have embraced it and merged its specific qualities into your waking life behavior… and your dreaming mind is pleased.

Bisexuality Dream Meaning

Ever since the beginning of time, people have felt the need to know the significance or interpretation of their dreams. This particular type of dream is not that different from other dreams.

Many people have experienced a bisexual dream. It can leave us feeling confused and curious to know just what it really implies. To dream of bisexuality or being bisexual means that you may have sexual issues you need to address. If you are not bisexual in your waking life but you dream that you are, this means you have some sort of sexual repression you need or want to express. Bisexual dreams do not necessarily mean that you have bisexual feelings in real life.

In your dreams you may have…

  • Kissed a person of the same sex.
  • Dated a person of the same sex.
  • Seen someone practicing bisexuality.
  • Been in love with a person of the same sex.
  • Have sexual relations with a friend of the same sex.
  • Been aroused when you saw a person of the same sex.
  • Been flirting with or seduced by a person of the same sex.
  • Found a person of the same sex attractive, beautiful or sexy.
  • Wanted to pursue a relationship with a person of the same sex.
  • Felt a romantic feeling or crush towards a person of the same sex.
  • Practiced bisexuality with a complete stranger who was of the same sex.
  • Been confused as to your feelings for a person of the same sex and a person of the opposite sex.
  • Cheated on your husband/wife (or boyfriend/girlfriend) with a person of the same sex.

Positive changes are afoot if…

  • Being openly bisexual in the dream shows you have conquered over a force in your life.
  • An orgasm achieved with a person of the same sex means you will be free of something.
  • A same-sex partner who is a friend in real life hints that your bond may have strengthened.
  • The overall feeling of the dream was positive.

Detailed dream interpretation…

This dream shows both masculine and feminine sexual potential. To dream that you are gay or homosexual is generally positive. If you dream that you are bisexual (and you are not in waking life) then it shows that you have control and your outer self. This can sometimes take over. The nature of your bisexual dream is possibly your subconscious’ way to compensate for a lack of sexual expression, which is common among sexual-abstainers. I feel that this dream occurs when you have an innate sexual desire that needs fulfillment or release. Bisexual dreams may either mean you feel freed or trapped by sexual thoughts that are constantly running through your head. Being seduced by a person of the same sex in a dream can sometimes mean a force will attempt to take over your life and you need to fight back in order to stay in control.

If the same-sex partner in your dream is a stranger, this can show that you need to concentrate more on matters that will enable you to achieve your goals. If you achieved orgasm with this unknown person then it shows you are capable of freeing yourself from something and that you will escape a loss of emotion that will enable you to have a happy relationship. The different forms of sex are the most common topic of dreams. If you are a homosexual, dreams regarding this particular sexual orientation are not typical. They are simply the extension of your thoughts and feelings in the form that is the most familiar and meaningful to you.

Heterosexual persons who have experienced having a homosexual dream need not worry. Sexual dreams don’t always have sexual implications. At times, they are about power, control, identity and other non-sexual issues of life. A bisexual dream experienced by a straight person may have a variety of connotations. The interpretation of this dream (as with all others) is very personal, therefore generalizations are difficult to make. This dream may be about loving yourself especially if the other individual in your dream is a stranger.

The dream may be about integrating ideas and attitudes. Sexual dreams are either wish-fulfillment or compensatory dreams. And in a few rare cases, may directly be about sexual orientation. There is no harm in careful sexual exploration no matter what your sexual orientation is in waking life.

In the case of a female, dreaming of a same-sex partner hints that it is time that you take care of your orgasms and that you need to improve your sexual performance. Lesbian dreams are quite common with pregnant women, perhaps due to the fact, there is nothing as feminine as being a mother. For a man to dream of having sex with another man shows that you need to clarify a particular problem or situation in your life before it gets out of hand. The outcome of this problem will likely be happy and content. As it is sexual, it often means that you have been feeling the need to search for fun, laughter and creativity – and you have not found it yet.

A threesome dream with a straight partner and a bisexual partner represents an inability to stand your ground and attain your aims in life. Lastly, a dream of a bisexual nature involving a friend as your sexual partner may mean that you have bonded to a higher level. Often, same-sex dream partners who are your friends in real life are people who you most connect and relate to. This may be because your subconscious feels as though you have found a potentially valuable social partner. Another possibility may be your dream is expressing your interest to have a closer friendly relationship with this person.

Feelings that you may have encountered during a bisexual dream:Â Attraction, Arousal, Confusion, Confidence, Curiosity, Desire, Excitement, Gratification, Happiness, Intimacy, Fulfillment, Love, Passion, Pleasure, Satisfaction, Security, Temptation.

The expert analysis
Time to break out the handcuffs. “Liz is basically a happily married woman who has some sexual longings that haven’t been met,” Spurr says. “Because they are recurring dreams, there may be a part of her marriage that is a bit boring, but not necessarily her sex life.” Having erotic dreams about her husband’s brother and best friend is a safe way for Liz to play out her fantasies (and her desire for more—or more varied—sex) because both men are known to her and share similar characteristics with her spouse. But at the same time, because Liz doesn’t know them intimately, it’s more exciting. “Maybe Liz has a flirtatious side that she’s kept in check since she got married, or her life has become too emotionally cozy,” says Spurr, author of Dreams and Sexuality (Sterling Publishing). “She should try to rekindle the romance with her husband again.”

What else it could mean
A third party can represent some aspect of your partner, so you’re not “cheating” on your significant other if you dream about doing it with someone else. It is possible, however, that you’re longing for emotional—not sexual—intimacy with that third party, or you’re focusing on some part of his personality you admire.

The Teacher’s Pet

“A few years after I graduated from college and I was working as a writer, a job I enjoyed, I dreamed I was back in my college thesis advisor’s office and we were having great sex,” says Stephanie, a 37-year-old mother of two. “Nothing kinky or unusual—just regular missionary position, surrounded by all of his papers and cultural memorabilia—but it was fantastic. I never found him physically attractive, but we had always had a deep intellectual connection and mutual respect. He was one of the first men who made me feel as though my interests and ideas truly mattered.”

The expert analysis
Here’s another seemingly erotic dream that has nothing to do with sex. “This is about Stephanie feeling competent and accepted by authority figures and realizing it’s OK to love her job,” Cummings says. “She makes it a sex dream because her work is so fulfilling. It’s almost as if she’s shocked that work can be so stimulating.” Stephanie’s advisor was one of the first people who made her feel valued and who respected her interests, so he makes an appearance as a stand-in for those feelings of soaring self-worth. That she was never attracted to him in reality is meaningless. “Very often if we’ve made a strong emotional connection with someone, we’ll dream of him sexually,” Spurr says. That doesn’t mean we secretly desire him.

What else it could mean
Authority figures from the past can represent a transitional period in a person’s life (specifically when you’re the aggressor in lovemaking), or they can symbolize feelings of sexual vulnerability (if you’re submissive). Being an equal partner, as Stephanie was in her dream, is indicative of contentment and confidence. Don’t worry about your choice of sex partners in your dreams: It’s not unusual to dream of being intimate with someone you don’t think is sexy. The people in your dreams are there because of an emotional or intellectual quality they embody.

Movie Making Out

“I dreamed I was having oral sex performed on me in a theater by a guy I liked, but we stopped before I could climax,” says 39-year-old veterinary technician Katy. “I often have hot dreams in which I never actually get to have sex. The foreplay is excellent and I always get close, but someone is always about to discover us or we are interrupted, so I never have intercourse or an orgasm.”

The expert analysis
Curses! Foiled again! Although this may be a simple sublimation of not having one’s sexual needs met, it could be more far-reaching. “Katy may feel that she’s never satisfied in life, even though she’s doing everything right,” Cummings says. Being in the movie theater (not the bedroom) indicates this isn’t only about sex but life in general. Katy should ask herself in what part of her life she feels unsuccessful and figure out what’s keeping her from reaching her goals.

What else it could mean
Repeated sex dreams in which you get close but are unable to reach orgasm may also point to a lack of trust in your partner and a fear of sexual or emotional intimacy. Make sure you’re keeping the lines of communication open so you both feel comfortable talking about your relationship in general and about what you want sexually. Often, simply taking time to think about your dream and what it means is enough to prevent a rerun.

Your first time having lesbian sex, or girl-on-girl slash vulva-on-vulva sex, can be pretty nerve racking and daunting. No matter how confident you are, or how much lesbian porn you’ve watched (which FYI, is not realistic AT ALL) all vaginas are different and like to stimulated in different ways. So if you’re in need of some tips on how to have sex with a girl or vulva-having person, here’s what you need to know – from how to beat the nerves, to which lesbian sex positions to try.

Use your intuition

I know you’re thinking,”How on earth will I know what to do?” And that’s normal. If you’ve had male or penis-having sexual partners before, that may help inform a fair bit of what you do, but it still might feel strange to be giving what you have previously received.

The good news is that although tips and tricks are handy, sex is still largely intuitive whatever genders or bodies it’s between. You might find you surprise yourself…

Communicate… constantly

Your virgin voyage to the Sapphic Isles needn’t come without a personalised map – or, you know, a super-hot Sat Nav with the voice of Marilyn Monroe, if you’re lucky. You don’t have to arrange a pre-coital business meeting with pointing sticks and blow-up dolls, but once you’ve brushed up on some basic lesbian sex tips, simply talking dirty prior to the act is a great way to establish what you both do, and don’t want to try with each other.

During the act? Never be afraid to say you’ve changed your mind about something – and always listen carefully to what they say, too. Trusting your instincts, and each other, is a crucial part of enjoyable sex.

Focus on the clitoris and always ask before inserting a finger or penetrating someone Andrii ZastrozhnovGetty Images

Masturbate for practice

There’s no better way to get some practice in than masturbation. If you’re a regular wanker, great. If not, perhaps now is the time to learn how to masturbate like a pro, to give you some pointers. Don’t freak out if it doesn’t work for you – solo sex isn’t for everyone.

Another good way to learn more about vulvas, vaginas and clitorises, is by putting a mirror between your legs and having a good ol’ look. People’s vulvas vary in appearance (so don’t be shocked if your partner’s doesn’t look much like yours at all) but delve a little deeper and you’ll find the important bits are generally in a similar area.

Think about boobs

I will never forget the first time I had a pair of boobs that weren’t my own to play with. My mind went totally blank and I sort of flapped my hands excitedly at them. It wasn’t my best sexual performance, to say the least.

Some people don’t like having their breasts touched at all. If that’s you or your partner, that’s cool. But if breast and nipple play is on the agenda then, as a general guide, start gentle – some people’s boobs are more sensitive than others. Cup them delicately, trace them lightly with your fingers, kiss them softly… Try not to grab. If all is going well, then try licking their nipples, using circular movements interspersed with sucking (not too hard).

When it comes to fingering a girl, remember penetration is OPTIONAL cirano83Getty Images

Figure out the fingering

Clitoral stimulation is how most women and people with vaginas achieve orgasm, but everybody’s body is different: some people enjoy very fast friction directly to the clitoris, for instance, while others enjoy slow rubbing on the outer lips. Don’t be put off if you have to go through a bit of trial and error with a new partner. For more in depth advice, here’s how to finger a girl or vagina-owner really well.

Check they’re OK with penetration

Ready to go in? Start with one finger and build up – shoving four in at once, unless specifically asked to, is bad form. You also need to make sure you keep an eye on what your other digits are doing – thumbs digging into thighs spoil the mood. Build speed up slowly.

G-spot stimulation sends some people wild, others are indifferent, and still others actively dislike the sensation of having it touched. “OK,” I hear you cry, “but where the hell is it?” If you put your own finger inside you and hook it up as if you were beckoning someone, you will feel a spongy bit. It’s easier for some than it is for others to find it, so persevere. Wiggle your finger(s) on it and see what happens…

If you’d rather use a G-spot vibrator to stimulate them (and clitoris at the same time if you’re feeling really generous),.

Lovehoney Mantric Rechargeable G-Spot Vibrator Mantric lovehoney.co.uk £39.99

Giving oral sex

This seems to be the bit that scares first time vulva-lovers the most. It’s also the hardest aspect of girl-on-girl and vulva-on-vulva sex to give clear, one-size-fits-all advice on – sorry! Again, starting slowly is a good plan.

Gently part their outer labia and lick up from the vaginal entrance to the clitoris (this has the added benefit of giving you chance to find the clit if you are having trouble – some people wear ’em buried deep!).

Lick up and down the labia themselves. Focus on the clit and licking around it, using your wonderful friend Ms Circular Motion. Vary the pressure. Inserting a finger (if they’re OK with that!) at the same time adds an extra frisson for some. Trial and error, trial and error.

Here’s a step by step guide on how to lick someone out, if you want to know more.

First time lesbian sex can be daunting, but as long as you communicate you will be fine Adene SanchezGetty Images

Use accessories

Remember it is still possible to catch STIs from same-sex sex. Vulva-to-vulva sex can transfer bacterial vaginosis, oral herpes, HPV and, more rarely, trichomoniasis and hepatitis.

For safer oral sex, little squares of latex called dental dams can be placed over your genitals. Handy hint: a slit open condom works just as well. For responsible fingering, grab yourself some latex gloves.

You can get some awesome flavoured dental dams which taste great while keeping you protected, these strawberry dental dams are great.

Other kit? Well that’s for discussion between the two of you. Personally I’d advise keeping this for later – things will be nerve wracking enough as it is if you’ve never slept with a woman or same-sex partner before.

As ever, remember that some people don’t like being penetrated – never assume anything. Use toys with condoms and/or wash them between uses to prevent spreading anything.

Lesbian sex positions to try

Once you’re comfortable and feel like you want to try different positions, there are many vulva-to-vulva positions to go through. Including (the rather infamous) scissoring, if that’s your bag. Watch the below video for a run down of some awesome girl-on-girl sex positions.

What about orgasms?

As you are no doubt aware, women and vagina-havers generally take longer than those with penises to orgasm, and some find it hard to manage at all. So don’t despair if you’ve already come and they’re still nowhere near the finish line, or vice versa.

I can never emphasise enough that an orgasm is not the be all and end all of a satisfying sexual experience – and of course the less you stress, the more likely it is you’ll manage it in the future.

Next steps…

Got the hang of all that and want to try something more adventurous? Try these next-level oral sex positions.

Looking for your next favourite podcast? Listen to Cosmopolitan’s sex and relationships podcast All The Way With… on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Acast and all the usual podcast apps.

Related Story Related Story

Since middle school, I’ve craved male attention. Early on, I developed a sixth sense for athletic and charismatic boys, the kind who’d make the loudest jokes in class; ask the girl next to me to slow dance while seeming to look right through me. At night I prayed to magically wake up more extroverted, flirtier and funnier and please, please less pimply. I became certain if I could just make one boy like this love me (or at least look at me), then I would somehow be lovable, confirming my femininity and worth.

Though I remained fixated on boys, my closest, most intimate relationships were with other girls. There was my best friend in seventh grade, who would read me Harry and Louis One Direction fan fiction on the bus while I found my eyes inexplicably drawn to her lips. I spent late nights talking with her, confessed my love for writing and fear that I wasn’t good enough. She knew me better than anyone, far better than the boys I chased. Why, then, was it not her opinion of me that I valued more?

In high school, I experimented physically with boys, but even during intimate acts, maintained emotional distance. I needed to be wanted, to know the right way to kiss and touch. I needed stories to tell my new group of girlfriends, and mostly, I needed a way to feel less crushed when she — we’ll call her Lazy Line Painter Jane — told me about crushes or later boyfriends. I didn’t just want Painter Jane to like me so I would feel I was likable, and it was much more complicated and less fixed than the way I felt and still feel about boys.

I wanted her to like me because she overwhelmed me. I wanted her to like me because of the softness of her voice and how I couldn’t not lean in to listen. I wanted her because of her room that was collaged with photographs and glow-in-the-dark stars, and because of the freckles sprinkled over her nose and cheeks. I wanted the nights when we drank strawberry beer and lay side by side on a blanket in my backyard, and I wanted the days we were cold and ignored each other. More than anything, I wanted the nights we stayed over at each other’s houses so I felt the heat of her skin through thin sheets and tried to close my eyes and sleep but found I was wide awake. I wanted her because I could cry in front of her or skip school to skinny-dip. And I wanted her because of her words — out loud and in writing — and how they always made me ache.

Very little actually happened between Painter Jane and I in high school. We kissed a couple times, wrote letters and made mixtapes and spent many nights almost saying what we felt, hanging in the kind of almost that defined our intimacy. And yet, she was and still is one of my best friends, my first love, one of the people I trust the most. It was and was not about sex; I wanted her in the vague way of being young and longing without totally knowing what the object of that longing is.

After high school, I dated and even loved boys. I threw myself into intimacy and sex, and it felt good — better even than I’d imagined it could, though I still thought about Painter Jane, still wondered occasionally about that mysterious ‘second sex.’

When I walk into a room, I instinctively scan the male-presenting faces seeking someone to desire — or more accurately someone to make desire me. I count my self-worth on the number of fingers of boys who’ve liked me back. Still, I naturally find myself drawn to girls in friendships. In bed, boys are a language and I know all the words. With girls, I’ve barely tried, and when I do, I find myself wishing I’d brought a dictionary. Why do I need boys to validate me, to feel the contours of my body and tell me I am female, whatever that word even means? Why do I naturally fall into sex and relationships with men while continuing to feel greater closeness with women?

Maybe I’m less attracted to girls physically, even though I usually feel closer to them emotionally. Or maybe I’m scared that if I really go there with another girl — both physically and emotionally — I’ll be forced to feel recognized for real, to see myself for what I am and not as a made-up ideal of femininity, or a confident and outgoing mask concealing the shy, afraid girl I still can be. I guess I don’t really know yet. My own body still sometimes feels like a hazy outline, other people’s even more so. I don’t know yet what I want from intimacy or love, or if I see those two things as separate or the same. Maybe a year from now, I’ll fall in love with another boy, or have a string of casual hook-ups with people of all genders, or maybe I’ll love a girl, and it will be as it was in seventh grade, and as it was with Painter Jane. But this time, I’ll know the words to say what my self and this body are, and I won’t need a man or anyone else to tell me what I am: desirable and deserving of love.

Dirty Blonde is a student at Cornell University. Love in the Time of Tinder runs monthly this semester. Sex on Thursday appears every other Thursday.

Dream about a girl

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