Finally, scientific studies we can actually use! We scoured the medical and scientific journals to find studies that would help us in the dating world. So smile, wear red, laugh at all his jokes and check out all the other proven ways to become more attractive—tell us which ones worked for you!
Put on a red dress
Rescue that red dress from the depths of your closet—you’ll want to wear it for your next night out after you read this. A study from the University of Rochester shows that men rated women in red more sexually attractive than those who weren’t in red. But the crimson hue doesn’t work miracles. He’s unaffected by the color when it comes to rating your personality and intelligence.
No dress? Paint a red pout
Dress up your lips with a slick of fiery gloss and you’re more likely to catch a guy’s eye. Scientists from Manchester University found that men spend about half their time staring at your perfect pout—especially if you’re wearing red lipstick. Red keeps him mesmerized for an average of 7.3 seconds while a pink pucker grabs him for 6.7. The hypothesis is that red lips mimic the widening of blood vessels that occurs with sexual arousal—can’t argue with biology.
Flash him your smile
Stone-faced runway models have got it all wrong. A recent study published by the American Psychological Association shows that smiling makes you more attractive since it stimulates the part of his brain associated with sensory rewards. Put simply, you look more approachable with a gleaming grin. So next time you lock eyes over a latte, you know what to do. It’s your best accessory after all.
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Reward a guy with laughter
Laughter really is the best medicine for everything… including your love life. A study by a Canadian university says that men are attracted to women who laugh at their jokes. It makes sense, we’re all narcissists at heart and like people more who like us. If he’s simply not funny (all his jokes that begin with “There once was a man from Nantucket”), then spare him the embarrassment, but if you’re charmed by his good humor, a girlish giggle won’t hurt.
Subtly mimic him
It may seem like you’re playing copycat, but one stealthy speed-dating study proves that women who subtly mimicked men earned higher evaluations at the end of the event. Blatant copying won’t score you any points, but when he scratches his face, scratch yours a few seconds later. If he says, “Do you go to many of these speed-dating events? echo his words with, “No, I don’t go to many of these speed-dating events.” Might sound funny on paper, but maybe he’ll return your call now.
Hit the high notes
Sopranos rejoice! While a sultry voice is synonymous with sexiness, researchers found that men are actually attracted to women who talk in higher pitches à la Marilyn Monroe. Remember her sexy rendition of “Happy Birthday” to JFK? (we’ll wait while you YouTube that one). Of course, her curve hugging dress didn’t hurt either.
Hips don’t lie
Make the grocery aisle your runway and watch as approving and handsome heads turn. Women who walk with a swaying gait are more likely to catch a guy’s eye, say researchers at Texas A&M University. No one’s suggesting you adopt a supermodel strut, but take longer strides placing one foot in front of the other—like you’re walking a straight line—for a subtle, sexy sway. Don’t forget to ask him for help with items on the top shelf—that never hurts either.
Keep the waterworks to a minimum
Tissues and tears should never come between you and your guy. Research recently published in Science Express indicates that men are less sexually attracted to women associated with the smell of tears. Sure, it’s hard not to get choked up at the movies during emotional scenes, but if possible, save the major waterworks for movie nights with the girls, or opt for that action movie he’s dying to see.
Show off your arms
You always thought that long legs were what brought the boys to the yard, but a study out of the University of New South Wales shows that men who found tall women attractive were actually more attracted to her arms, not her legs. So next time you’re lifting in the gym squeeze in a few more reps—of course while wearing a tank top—and you just might snag Mr. Toned away from the treadmill.
Game, text, match
Communication is still the key to any long-lasting relationship—just ask the researchers at the University of Texas at Austin. They found that couples who use language in similar ways are more likely to last. In a study of online chats between couples, 80 percent of those with similar writing styles were still dating three months later, versus 54 percent of those with less similar writing styles. So if he texts “2” instead of “two,” or “c u later” instead of “see you later,” follow his lead for the most promising results.
Flaunt your curves
He really doesn’t notice those extra five pounds, and here’s proof. Researchers in Scotland observed that men prefer women with normal body weight, as opposed to women who are super skinny. So stop the magazine cover envy and wear that itty bitty bikini on your next beach vacation—and be sure to indulge in a waffle cone or two.
A version of this story originally appeared on iVillage.
- The One Trait Women Look For Above All Else (According to Research)
- Women Want Men Who Are Already Taken
- Why Do Women Use Preselection?
- How to Use Preselection To Get Women
- #1 — Let Women See You With Other Women
- #2 — Develop Confidence and Outcome Independence
- #3 — Learn Women Speak
- Science of Sexy: 5 Things That Can Make You Irresistible
- Humor Is Sexy
- Thank you!
- Being Liked Is Sexy
- What You Talk About Is Sexy
- Personality Is Sexy
- How They Make You Feel Is Sexy
- Love At First Sight Is Sexy
- What’s Next?
- Why You’re Not Attracted to Nice Guys
- Nice Guys rush in
- Nice Guys are pleasers
- It’s okay to not be attracted to Nice Guys
- Girl Talk
- Pooja Parikh Traveled Across The World For The HS Diagnosis That Changed Her Life Forever
- Why Feminine Energy is Kryptonite for Men
- 1. Smell
- 2. Your Body
- 3. Your Grooming skills
- 4. Responsiveness
- 5. Symmetry
- 6. Personality Traits
- 1. Independence and Self-Reliance
- 2. Femininity and a Lady–Like Demeanor
- 3. Confidence and Self-Esteem
- 4. Ambition and a Desire to Succeed
- 5. Sexy and Seductive
- 6. Able to Be Domestic at Times
- 7. Social and Able to Hold a Conversation
- 8. Polite, Civilized, and Cultured
- 9. Positive and Upbeat
- 10. Fun, Playful, and Spontaneous
- 11. Dedicated to Taking Care of Yourself
- 12. Emotionally stable
- 13. Devoted and Loving
- You Can Be Miss Perfect
- Brad Browning
- 1. We crave compliments just as much as you.
- 2. And they don’t have to just be about our looks.
- 3. Our honesty is well-intentioned.
- 4. We really (really) want to solve your problems.
- 5. We want you to appreciate our reliability.
- 6. But don’t want to be attached at the hip.
- 7. We love feminine touches.
- 8. You can be a boss in the bedroom.
- 9. Seeing is believing.
- 10. Try not to pick out the one thing we did wrong.
- 16 Things Men Like in Women More Than Good Looks
- Men Want A Good Wife
- Men Want Organisation
- Men Want Adventure
- Men Want Home Cooked Food
- Men Want A Clean House
- Men Want Conversation
- Men Want To Try New Hobbies
- Men Want Friends
- Men Want Harmony
- Men Want Peace Of Mind
- Men Want A Woman with A Good Personality
- Men Want A Cuddle
- Men Want Independence
- Men Want A Woman To Have A Sense Of Humour
- Men Want A Woman To Have An Appealing Character
- Men Want Romance
- Men Want To Be The Hero
- Men Want Support
- Men Want Communication
- Men Want A Confident Woman
- Men Want To Be Successful
- Men Want Loyalty
- Men Want Understanding
- Men Want Fidelity
- Men Want A Woman To Be Spontaneous
- Men Want A Woman Who Can Compromise
- Men Want A Woman Who Is Caring
- Men Want A Woman Who Is Funny
- Men Want A Woman Who Takes Care Of Her Appearance
- Men Want A Woman Who Is Strong
- Men Want A Woman With A Maternal Instinct
- Men Want Praise
- Men Want Respect
- Men Want To Feel A Sexual Connection
The One Trait Women Look For Above All Else (According to Research)
Aug 13, 2019 · 8 min read Photo by Ava Sol on Unsplash
Social influence is one of the most powerful drivers of human behavior.
When you buy from Amazon, are you most likely to buy a product that has 3 stars and less than 100 reviews, or are you more likely to buy one that has 4.5 stars and hundreds more reviews?
When you decide where you want to travel, do you pick a place barely anyone knows about like Sao Tome and Principe or will you pick more flashy destinations like France or Brazil?
Exactly. Women do the same.
Women Want Men Who Are Already Taken
Image by Kevin Phillips from
According to a study featured in the New Scientist, men are seen as more desirable when they are in relationships.
When single women were given the choice to pursue a relationship with either a single man or a taken man, 59 percent said they were interested in the single man, while 90 percent said they give the man who’s attached a try.
The researchers believed that the reason for this is that men in relationships are “preselected”.
Preselection is the idea that women feel attracted to men they think other women want.
Hector Castillo explained this concept in a YouTube video with the following credit card analogy.
Take a credit card. It’s a card you use to put in money that you currently don’t have in the hopes that you will pay it later through credit. The more you make (or not) these payments, the better (or worse) your credit score becomes. Over time, credit companies essentially pre-approve your credit card with a good (or bad) credit score depending on your credit history.
How this works with women is that, when she sees a man with a woman who is more good-looking/more attractive than her, it’s like the man has a credit score above 670, which is considered a good credit score. Whereas if the man was with a woman who’s less good-looking/attractive than her, that’s an equivalent of a credit score of 629, which is considered a bad credit score.
Researchers in a study published in Scientific Reports confirmed this observation as they found that men with girlfriends gain an “attractiveness boost” and are suddenly seen as more attractive than they normally would. The girlfriend is essentially approving the man for the other woman around him, making him look more attractive.
It is as if the girlfriend is holding a sign point towards the man saying: “This man is desirable, sexy and totally dateable.” Women notice this and begin to find the man desirable, sexy and totally dateable.
This is why guys often notice that when they are single, almost nobody pays him attention. But the moment he begins dating someone, he suddenly gets hit on by a few women.
Why Do Women Use Preselection?
Image by juanjo tugores from
If you consider female evolutionary strategy, it’s mostly about minimizing risk.
Women can only produce an offspring at a rate of 9 months at a time. So they will seek out the most high-quality man they can get in order to make sure their offspring have the highest chance of survival (both in terms of good genes and the resources the man provides).
Every guy knows this, so they will try to portray themselves as one of these high-quality men.
And women know men do this. So they look for ways to make it easier to choose men.
If you consider close relationships, they take a ridiculous amount of time to form. Researchers have actually studied how long it takes to build a relationship. They found that it takes on average of 50 hours to turn an acquaintance into a friend, 90 hours to turn a friend to a good friend, and 200 hours to turn a good friend to a best friend.
Women simply don’t have the time to go on a date with every single guy they find attractive. So what they do? They outsource that task to other women.
We depend on others for our opinions. This is even more true with decisions that involve a lot of uncertainty. The right choice isn’t always easy to determine, and so make our decisions based on what others are doing.
Mate selection is no different. And since it’s a naturally uncertain task, women will most often take the most secure path by looking for already existing proof that the man is of value. What better evidence there is than to see a man surrounded by attractive women.
Women are the choosy sex and have a greater abundance of sexual options than men. So if another girl is with a man, most of the work is already done for her.
Most guys are average, and if a woman, who naturally has a lot of options, is picking him, then that means that he has attractive traits that made her choose him.
She feels more secure. She isn’t risking it with a single man (whose mate value is unclear), making it a far more reliable way to tell attraction than anything else a man could say (he could lie) or do (he could easily pretend).
How to Use Preselection To Get Women
Image by StockSnap from
Now that you’re sold on preselection, or at least consider that the idea has some merit, how can you use it attract more women into your life?
Here are three ways:
- Let Women See You With Other Women
- Develop Confidence and Outcome Independence
- Learn Women Speak
Let’s look at each:
#1 — Let Women See You With Other Women
The obvious way to use preselection is to let other women see you with another woman/women. The more attractive the woman, the better.
According to the research paper on Mate Choice Copying in Humans, the attractiveness of the woman beside the man also matters. Even more so than how attractive the man is. The research also suggests that it works the other way. A man with an unattractive female sees a decrease in perceived attractiveness.
Writer Chase Amante believed there is a ‘rank’ in terms of people women can see you with. He gave the list below, in his blog, in order of most alluring to least:
- A group of attractive/young women following or watching you
- You with multiple attractive/young women doting on you
- A group of attractive/young mixed or men following or watching you
- You with a single attractive/young woman doting on you
- You with a very cool-looking buddy hanging out and having a good time
- You with friends, having a good time
So if you’re going out in a public setting, bring a wing-woman to help introduce you to other women. Or you can invite your friends, male and/or female, to hang out with you.
The social proof will work in your favor and you’ll find women being much more receptive to you when you approach them.
#2 — Develop Confidence and Outcome Independence
Confidence and Outcome Independence are two of the most attractive traits a man can have. Women are most attracted to a man who knows exactly what he wants from life and spends so much time pursuing his missions, that he can’t afford to be distracted from his dreams by a woman.
Confidence is about how capable you think you are. You know you’re not perfect, but you know that you have the skills needed to accomplish the things you want in life. Confidence naturally develops as you become more experienced with a good number of attractive women.
Outcome Independence is when you are not moved about a specific scenario that occurs to you. If it works out, good. If it doesn’t, again, also good. Either way, you win because you are detached from the outcome.
So if you act nervous (lacking confidence) or needy (lacking outcome independence), her attraction for you will plummet. So you have to develop these traits to the point where you feel completely relaxed and non-needy. I talk more about this here.
Basically, you want:
- Approach more women. The more women you interact with, the more comfortable you will get with them. You become less attached to one girl because you know that there plenty of women out there. Success breeds confidence… so by having positive experiences you allow yourself to feel more confident in that area of your life.
- Seek Self-approval. All of your negative emotions come from your reaction to the external world. When others disapprove with you, insult you, when you regret decisions, all of these things empty your emotional tank. So from now on, only you can give yourself approval.
#3 — Learn Women Speak
Men’s preferred style of communication is one that’s more direct, straight-to-the-point, and leads to an objective truth. Women, on the other hand, prefer to sub-communicate.
Sub-communication is a feminine style of conversation that is based on relating through emotions, ambiguity, double meaning, and indirection. Essentially, it’s a style of communication that favors harmony.
Women don’t like talking like men. They find logical, short conversations boring. For women, conversations are about harmony and relating. They’re about feeling understood and connecting with the other person. So, if you can speak Womanese, you show an indirect type of preselection. It communicates that you have interacted with many women before.
One of the main traits of female sub-communication is ambivalence. That is, when a statement is made that could mean two different opposite things. Here are a few examples of what women say and what they actually mean to help you better understand this concept:
- “Maybe.” Usually, it means no.
- “Yes”. It could mean yes, no or maybe. You have to look at the context and her body language.
- “It’s fine,” “It’s Ok.” “Don’t Worry”. It’s not fine. You did something wrong and now she’s mad at you for it.
- “We’ll see.” Usually means no.
- “I think we should be friends.” AKA: I don’t find you attractive.
When a woman says something, it helps to read her body language, decipher her tone of voice, and look at her facial expressions, or else you will miss out on what she is truly saying.
Women often keep their conversations ambiguous for the following reasons:
- To keep social harmony
- To avoid responsibility and deny consequences from certain actions
- To show interest without saying it, which would put her on the spot
- To keep options open and avoid committing to soon
Once you begin to understand this preferred mode of female communication, you’ll show women that you are experienced and preselected by other women.
Photo by Matan Segev from Pexels
Preselection is the most powerful form of attraction for women. It helps women decide you’re a good fit for them by outsourcing their uncertain decision-making onto other women.
There is nothing a woman finds more attractive than a man other women find attractive. And with preselection, that man becomes you.
Science of Sexy: 5 Things That Can Make You Irresistible
Humor Is Sexy
Humor is attractive to men and women — but not in the same way.
The research shows women like men who make them laugh, and men like women who laugh at their jokes.
Via Mating Intelligence Unleashed: The Role of the Mind in Sex, Dating, and Love:
Recent research suggests that while both men and women say they like a “good sense of humor” in a potential mate, they differ in what they mean by this phrase. Women tend to prefer men who make them laugh, whereas men tend to prefer women who laugh at their jokes.
Consistent with this, Robert Provine analyzed more than 3000 singles ads and found that women were more likely to describe their good humor appreciation ability whereas men were more likely to offer good humor production ability.
Why is humor sexy? Funny people are smart, and smart is sexy.
Via Mating Intelligence Unleashed: The Role of the Mind in Sex, Dating, and Love:
Gil Greengross and Geoffrey Miller found in a sample of 400 university students that general intelligence and verbal intelligence both predicted humor production ability (writing captions for cartoons), which in turn predicted lifetime number of sexual partners (a proxy of reproductive success). They found, however, that males showed higher average levels of humor production ability, which is consistent with the sexual selection perspective. From these results, Greengross argues that a sense of humor evolved at least partly through sexual selection as an intelligence indicator.
So ladies can boost their attractiveness by chuckling a bit more.
And guys, you can garner more attention by learning how to make women laugh.
Via Mating Intelligence Unleashed: The Role of the Mind in Sex, Dating, and Love:
Men in the “humor” condition received phone numbers from 42.9% of the female participants and were refused 57.1% of the time. In comparison, men in the “no humor” condition were refused 84.6% of the time and were only accepted 15.4% of the time. In other words, men who were observed as the humor producers of the group were nearly three times as likely to receive a phone number than those who were observed as laughing at a friend’s joke instead.
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Being Liked Is Sexy
Want to increase someone’s interest in you? Might be worthwhile to make sure they find out you’re interested in them.
Via How to Make Someone Fall in Love With You in 90 Minutes or Less:
Dr. Aron affirmed that the subjects’ expectation that the other person was going to like them had a huge effect. “If you ask people about their experience of falling in love, over 90 percent will say that a major factor was discovering that the other person liked them,” according to Dr. Aron.
This idea is affirmed by studying the effectiveness of “playing hard to get.” What’s the best way to play that game?
Establish that you’re hard to get in general — but very enthusiastic about the person you’re with.
Via Richard Wiseman’s excellent book 59 Seconds: Change Your Life in Under a Minute:
As a result of the interviews, the researchers speculated that the best strategy would be to give a potential date the impression that in general you were hard to get (and therefore a scarce resource worth having) but really enthusiastic about him or her specifically. They tested this notion by using some of the same techniques… and found overwhelming evidence to support their hypothesis.
What You Talk About Is Sexy
Random conversation with someone you’re interested in can be a bad idea. Why? What you talk about can matter — a lot.
Emotional, personal information exchange promotes powerful feelings of connection.
Via Snoop: What Your Stuff Says About You:
Arthur Aron, a psychologist at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, is interested in how people form romantic relationships, and he’s come up with an ingenious way of taking men and women who have never met before and making them feel close to one another. Given that he has just an hour or so to create the intimacy levels that typically take weeks, months, or years to form, he accelerated the getting-to-know-you process through a set of thirty-six questions crafted to take the participants rapidly from level one in McAdams’s system to level two.
How effective is it? In under an hour it can create a connection stronger than a lifelong friendship.
What he found was striking. The intensity of the dialogue partners’ bond at the end of the forty-five-minute vulnerability interaction was rated as closer than the closest relationship in the lives of 30 percent of similar students. In other words, the instant connections were more powerful than many long-term, even lifelong relationships.
(You can read the most effective things to discuss here.)
That said, don’t get so nervous about your words that you can’t speak…
When a woman is very attracted to a man, whether his pickup line is good or not doesn’t matter at all.
Via Mating Intelligence Unleashed: The Role of the Mind in Sex, Dating, and Love:
When women are looking for a short-term fling, however, it may be a different story. One study conducted on college students found that women favored men for a short-term fling if they found the men attractive regardless of the content of their pickup lines.
Personality Is Sexy
Conscientiousness is predictive of a number of very important positive elements in life.
Agreeable, conscientious people make better spouses and parents — but disagreeable, non-conscientious people have more sex partners.
The former invest in quality, and it seems like the latter make up the difference in, well, volume.
Looking to settle down? Check if that person has their ducks in a row, is organized and easy to get along with. That’s marriage material.
Via Mating Intelligence Unleashed: The Role of the Mind in Sex, Dating, and Love:
Nettle and Clegg reported that in a sample of 545 people, men (but not women) with low levels of agreeableness and conscientiousness tended to have a higher number of sexual partners. It has also been found cross-culturally, across 10 world regions, that low levels of agreeableness and conscientiousness are related to higher levels of sexual promiscuity and relationship infidelity, so there may be reproductive benefits to those on the low end of these traits.
How They Make You Feel Is Sexy
Research shows we don’t really fall in love with a person — we fall in love with how we feel when we’re with them.
This is best demonstrated by the concept of emotional contagion: we’re bad at telling what made us feel a certain way, but good about making associations.
Feeling excited, stimulated and aroused is often associated with the people around us, even if they’re not the cause.
This can be taken to extremes: having someone try to kill you can actually make you more attracted to them.
Via The Heart of Social Psychology: A Backstage View of a Passionate Science:
Those in the high-fear condition did show, for example, significantly more desire to kiss my confederate (one of the key questions) and wrote more romantic and sexual content into their stories. Looking at the details of these results, I found that the situation had generated, quite specifically, romantic attraction.
Some might find the notion that we’re just “feeling junkies” un-romantic, butthis idea can save relationships and prevent divorce.
By doing things that rekindle those exciting feelings, love can be restored:
…if partners experience excitement from other sources (such as novel and challenging activities) in a shared context, this shared experience can reignite relationship passion by associating the excitement with the relationship.
Love At First Sight Is Sexy
There’s still a lot about love and sex that can’t be easily quantified. Studies show “love at first sight” is real.
Via How to Make Someone Fall in Love With You in 90 Minutes or Less:
Dr. Earl Naumann, author of Love at First Sight, interviewed and surveyed 1500 individuals of all races, religions, and backgrounds across America, and concluded that love at first sight is not a rare experience. What’s more, Dr. Naumann theorizes that if you believe in love at first sight, there’s a roughly 60 percent chance it will happen to you. Here’s what led him to that conclusion.
- Nearly two thirds of the population believes in love at first sight.
- Of the believers, more than half have experienced it.
- Fifty-five percent of those who experienced it married the object of their affection.
- Three quarters of these married couples stayed married.
How can you increase the chance love at first sight happens to you? By believing in it.
Other posts you should read on love, sex, and romance:
- How To Be A Good Kisser – 10 Tips From Scientific Research
- How To Flirt — Backed By Scientific Research
- How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You
- Recipe For A Happy Marriage: The 7 Scientific Secrets
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This piece originally appeared on Barking Up the Wrong Tree.
Read next: 5 Things Your Clothes Are Saying About You
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Why You’re Not Attracted to Nice Guys
Uh… what? I thought he just drove up to take me to dinner and was going back home. Turns out he’d even rented a hotel room.
When I told him sex wasn’t happening he got angry. He tried to guilt me saying he’d driven 2 hours, spent over $200 on dinner and a hotel room, and how could I tell him no?
He thought I owed him something. I felt more like a hooker than his date. Then he went into his expectations of our relationship. What relationship?! This was a first, and only, date.
He listed things I should give, and things he wanted me to give up, like wine, which he’d bought me at dinner. He didn’t drink. I couldn’t get out of there, or block his number, fast enough.
A Good Man would have accepted my answer, no questions asked, and taken his happy ass back to the hotel room. Or really, a Good Man wouldn’t have made such assumptions and rented a room in the first place.
Nice Guys rush in
We’ve all experienced the man who comes on strong only to fade or disappear in a few weeks or couple of months.
They love bomb you. They want to see you constantly, they text you good morning, good night and keep in constant contact. You begin to wonder if they have a life at all.
Their self-pacing mechanism is non-existent. This man doesn’t even know you yet, but he puts his need for instant gratification above everything else. You think he wants a good woman, but what he wants is attention and validation of his worth.
He doesn’t want a relationship. He doesn’t want to put in the work (time) to get it. He jumps in and when it doesn’t look like his fantasy, he jumps right back out.
I’m blown away by the women who have stories of men talking marriage and babies within weeks of meeting. He’s usually telling her what he thinks she wants to hear in hopes of getting what he wants. Then the fantasy fades, reality sets in, and he’s gone.
Nice Guys are pleasers
Nice Guys want to please you and often give up their own needs to do so. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to please a woman. A Good Man wants to please a woman, but he isn’t going to forsake himself to do so.
Nice Guys expect appreciation for their pleasing efforts. Yes, we should know that men want to be appreciated, and give that willingly, but the Nice Guy expects it and will make it known when he doesn’t get it to his satisfaction.
They over-give when you didn’t ask them to, and then get hurt when you don’t go overboard on your appreciation. They over-give to create opportunities to get the approval and validation they so desperately want.
When a man makes his giving about him and not you, you’ve just met a Nice Guy. It’s normal for your attraction to drop a notch.
A good man gives without expectations and a high value woman shows her appreciation without having to be asked, because she feels safe to do so.
Nice Guys give and they give a lot, with an agenda and expectation attached in the form of validation.
It’s okay to not be attracted to Nice Guys
You aren’t crazy to not be attracted to these so called Nice Guys. It’s normal. It’s your gut screaming at you. High value women learn to listen to and trust their intuition.
If you ignore these red flags you might get in too deep and then leaving becomes a difficult mess. It’s exhausting trying to stand on the pedestal they put you on. Filling up their empty well isn’t your job.
A high value woman recognizes the difference between a Nice Guy and a Good Man and won’t feel the need to justify her lack of attraction. The more you get to know yourself and trust your intuition, the easier it will be to suss these guys out and leave them by the side of the road.
ALSO READ: Girl talk: Guys, work on your texting chemistry, it matters a lot to us
Naturally, women are wonderful creatures and men are bound to be attracted to them. There are some things that women do that men find absolutely cute and irresistible.
Here are some:
When you subtly touch a man or run your fingers gently over his skin, you are definitely getting the man turned on. Even holding onto a hug, a little longer is something that guys like. Guys find gentle physical contact with a woman very cute.
When a woman believes in herself and pushes herself beyond the limit, she is bound to score with a guy. Guys aren’t attracted to weaklings. They need women who can be able to stand their ground and believe in themselves.
Women who baby men:
ALSO READ: Why ladies take forever in the bathroom
As they say, there is a boy in every man. Little wonder then, men love women who baby them around. They tend to find women who treat them like their mothers cute. This comes in handy especially when guys are feeling emotional.
If a woman listens attentively to a man, it goes a long way. Men sometimes just want women who will listen to their dreams and plans no matter how unrealistic they may sound, without telling them off or judging them.
Men are egocentric and consulting them even on the most basic things goes a long way in boosting their ego. Even something as simple as asking them to pick the lipstick to go with your outfit will have him feeling some type of way. Also, consulting him when you are about to make a big decision makes him feel in charge.
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Pooja Parikh Traveled Across The World For The HS Diagnosis That Changed Her Life Forever
Twenty20 / danrsbaker
Have you ever wondered what it is that men want in a woman?
Sure, there are a lot of shallow guys out there who are only interested in a woman’s looks, in a certain body type or set of features. But that’s not who I’m talking about.
You wouldn’t want to date those guys anyway, let alone settle down with them.
No, I’m talking about mature men, who have done enough growing up to realize that life isn’t all about appearances. Men who understand that a woman can’t be reduced to just her anatomy – it’s the depth and richness of her personality that make her who she is.
After all, isn’t that the kind of man you want to be with? To build a life, a home and family with?
A grown man looks beneath the surface, seeking out those soulful qualities that give a woman that hard-to-define, but all important “it factor.” Qualities that are way more important than looks when it comes to being a good partner and lover.
Like these 12 things!
This is a biggie. Is she kind? Because if she’s not, it ain’t gonna work. The trouble is that everyone is nice to you – in the beginning. In the first blush of romance, when everything is new and fun and easy, everyone puts their best foot forward.
So I’ve learned to pay attention to how she treats people other than me. Is she polite to the waiter at the restaurant? Does she bad mouth her exes, her coworkers, her friends and family? How does she treat strangers, or pets? You can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat others. Warmth, kindness, and generosity are incredibly attractive, and absolutely necessary to a healthy, long term relationship.
There is something so sexy about a woman who is witty, educated, thoughtful, who can hold her own in any conversation. And I don’t necessarily mean “book smarts,” or academic knowledge. I’m more interested in wisdom, street smarts, sense of humor, emotional intelligence. A woman who likes to ponder life’s deep questions, who will sit with me under the stars and talk all night about the mysteries of the universe.
3. Open Mindedness
Nobody likes to be told that they’re wrong. Whether male or female, as writer Annika Martins mentions, nobody wants to be “fixed.” It’s a big turn off. Grown men aren’t looking for someone who has all the answers, who has everything all figured out.
They want a woman who’s playful, curious and open-minded, who doesn’t judge or condemn. She’s not set in her ways; she’s open to other perspectives. She loves to travel and see new places; to meet new people, have new experiences, learn from other cultures and broaden her horizons.
She treats life as an adventure, and she wants to explore as much of it as she possibly can. That open and adventurous attitude makes her exciting and fun to be with. It’s a definite turn on.
4. Knows Herself
Just because she’s open-minded doesn’t make her naive. She’s not lost or confused; she’s in touch with her intuition, her inner compass. She knows what she stands for, what she likes and what she doesn’t. She isn’t trying to be anyone else. She doesn’t live her life based on the opinion of her friends, her mother, or some fashion magazine. She doesn’t need to go “find herself.” She’s had enough life experience to know who she is, and what she wants – and that is sooo sexy.
5. Expresses Herself
Psychologists such as Abraham Maslow and Manfred Max-Neef have identified self-expression as a fundamental human need. Well, not only is it important to our happiness and sanity – it’s also extremely attractive.
I admire a woman who shares her thoughts and feelings, who says what’s on her mind. That doesn’t necessarily mean she’s a big talker; she might be quite shy, quiet and introverted. But she finds healthy ways to express herself.
She might communicate through body language, through painting, cooking, or poetry. Or maybe when she’s out on the dance floor, through rhythm and movement. But whatever her method or medium, when she’s in it she comes alive, and her inner world comes pouring out for all the world to see.
And it’s beautiful.
6. Down To Earth
I can appreciate ambition. I get the importance of dreaming big. But at the end of the day, I want a woman who savors the little things. A woman who knows what’s really important in life – family, friendship, love and connection.
She’s honest and practical; she has no patience for pretense. She’s humble and grounded, and doesn’t waist her time and energy chasing after symbols of wealth or status. She’s just as happy eating s’mores around a campfire as she is going out to a five star restaurant. She is centered and present and easy to be around. That’s the kind of woman a man wants to settle down with.
Wait just a minute… humble and confident?! Do I contradict myself? Very well, then. Human beings are complicated creatures. But there is a balance that can be struck here. You can be confident without being egotistic. You can value yourself without belittling others.
Real confidence comes from knowing yourself deep down, and accepting who you are. Knowing that you are good enough, just as you are. You don’t need to change or fix anything, for anybody. A woman can, and should, know her own worth, and be confident in who she is and what she has to offer. It’s incredibly sexy.
8. Comfortable In Her Own Skin
Maybe you think that this is the same as confidence. Like, “you’ve covered this already, it’s redundant.” I disagree. I think that body image issues are so common that it deserves special attention. I know so many women who do not, will not, cannot see themselves as beautiful. Instead they look at themselves and see only their “flaws,” and in a highly exaggerated and magnified way (as illustrated by this viral video from Dove’s Real Beauty campaign).
I’m not going to lie and say that looks don’t matter. Of course they do, to both women and men. But I’m here to tell you that how you look is not as important as how you feel about your body.
Real beauty isn’t about your weight or your measurements. It doesn’t come from makeup, or designer clothes. It’s about being comfortable in your own skin, at home in your body. It shows in your smile, in the way you walk, in your every movement and gesture.
I don’t think that anyone is especially attracted to what’s “normal,” or average. We don’t want to be with someone who is just like everyone else. We want an individual, someone who’s different, creative, who stands out from the crowd.
Give me a woman who’s not afraid to do things differently. A free spirit, who thinks for herself, and wants to make her mark upon the world. She might be an artist, a bit of a rebel; but not necessarily. She just has a way of seeing things from a unique perspective, and she lives her life accordingly. There is no one else quite like her – and that’s a good thing.
Let’s face it: passion is sexy. And I’m not just talking about sexual passion, either. I’m talking about a woman who is passionate about her ideals, her career, her favorite cause, or sport, or political party. A woman who burns with intensity for the things that she cares about. Her eyes light up whenever she talks about it, her whole being becomes electrified. That energy, intensity and dedication is extremely attractive.
Of course, if that passion carries over into the bedroom, that’s a huge plus.
Best-selling author Sarah Ban Breathnach once wrote, “The world needs dreamers, and the world needs doers. But most of all, the world needs dreamers that do.”
There are few things more enticing, more beautiful, and more awe-inspiring than a woman who is genuinely living her dream. A woman who has figured out what it is that she’s passionate about, and dedicated her life to it. She has found her way, her purpose, her path. It gives her a reason to get up in the morning. It gives her a sense of meaning and direction, and a contagious enthusiasm for life.
And it makes her incredibly attractive.
In the end, there is nothing sexier than a woman who is happy with herself, happy with life… just,happy. A woman who laughs often, who radiates joy and gladness, who always brightens your day and makes you smile whenever you see her, or think of her. That’s the kind of person that we all want to be with.
Don’t get me wrong – everyone has their bad days, their moments of doubt and despair. But a woman who accepts and loves herself, who knows what she wants out of life and goes after it, is going to have way more good days than bad. She’s up a lot more than she’s down. She is cheerful, positive and light-hearted, and she just makes you feel good.
And that is the single most attractive quality she, or anyone, can possibly possess.
Now if this list seems impossible to you, you’re absolutely right. No one person is going to possess all these qualities. I know I don’t. And if you do, then you should get some kind of award, or something. The point is not to beat yourself up about the things that don’t describe you. The point is to remind you what real beauty is.
In a culture obsessed with appearance, it’s easy to get caught up in how we look, how we dress or what we weigh, and what other people think. Everywhere we look we are presented with an impossible “ideal” of physical beauty. Even the models who best fit the look are not “perfect enough,” and are plastered with makeup and Photoshopped to the point where they are almost unrecognizable.
But you don’t need to look like a supermodel or a Barbie doll to attract a good man. You don’t have to compare yourself to anyone else’s idea of beauty. Because what matters the most is not how you appear on the outside; it’s who you are, on the inside.
And a grown man, the kind of man you want and deserve, knows it. He cares more about the content of your character than the size of your waistline. He sees you, all of you, deep down – where your real beauty lies.
This post originally appeared at Attract The One.
Why Feminine Energy is Kryptonite for Men
Whitney Virginia MorganFollow Feb 9, 2018 · 5 min read
This topic has always intrigued me. Men tend to like soft, feminine women. And women are often drawn to a bit more rough, Alpha-male typed man. This goes waaay back to pre-historic times and has a lot to do with procreation. This yin and yang attraction is somewhat ingrained in us through biology. The times may have changed, but our biology has yet to catch up.
Women are getting more and more masculine in today’s society. Mainly American society. Many other countries still adhere to traditional gender roles.The balance has been thrown off a bit by the vast changes in our society and a feminist movement, which ironically is anything but feminine but rather idolizing an I can do it all myself mentality. I am not knocking feminists. That’s not what this article is about. But ladies, you can’t argue with science. Research has shown over and over and over again — feminine attracts masculine. And if you want that hot shot alpha male in your life, you need to keep that in mind. Mainly American society. Many other countries still adhere to tradition gender roles.
So lets take a look at some research. Although the biology of attraction is mysterious and not fully understood, we do know some things.
Scientists have found that a man’s smell provides a woman with information about his major histocompatibility complex (MHC) genes, which play an important role in immune system function. As the thinking goes, women prefer men whose MHC genes differ from their own because children with more varied MHC profiles are more likely to have healthy immune systems — which makes a whole lot of sense from an evolutionary perspective.
2. Your Body
Men do in instant reproductive assesment without even realizing it. Your waist to hip ratio is a good child bearing cue. Men are attracted to a noticeable ratio because it is a sign of fertility according to scientists. 7:10 is commonly pleasing. He thinks — those hips can carry my babies! Soft skin is also a turn on.
A higher pitched voice has also been shown to increase attraction as it signifys a feminine body and it associated with gentleness and softness, which is also appealing to men. They want the yin to their yang. Opposites attract.
Shiny and healthy hair, is another sign of fertility and health.
Your smile. White teeth equals health. Again, more healthy babies.
Height. One (incredibly thorough) 2010 analysis conducted by experts at The University of New South Wales in Sydney — titled “Much More Than a Ratio: Multivariate Selection on Female Bodies” — showed that although factors such as waist-to-hip ratio and bust size affect how men perceive women, they don’t tell the whole story. Taller women were rated as more attractive, but — at least evolutionarily speaking — men aren’t necessarily after willowy, runway-ready figures. The men surveyed preferred women with legs that were proportionate in length to their height. — info from a Redbook article
Boobies. No shocker here. Studies show men prefer bigger breasts. They are also a child bearing cue. One study showed men’s eyes to linger longer here. But the waist ratio trumps the boobies. Boobs were the second most noticed physical trait however.
Research also showed that women with more feminine dainty-like faces attracted men with higher levels of testosterone. Don’t have a feminine face? No worries. That was just for the men with high levels of testosterone. There’s someone for everyone. This same research also showed that our level of attraction to people can fluctuate with the level of our testosterone.
3. Your Grooming skills
Noticeable features like how people groom themselves and posture were shown to be just as important as fixed features like height. The reason: Evidence of self-care signals to others that you’re healthy and strong, making you a good reproductive partner. — In a 1997 study published in the journal Current Psychology
Taking good care of your appearance means you are going to take good care of him and your children. It also shows class and mean are attracted to classy.
Studies also show that women who show more empathy or emotional response to their men in the early stages of dating, were considered more feminine and therefore more attractive. It shows that you will be loving and supportive when hard times inevitably arise. Complacency is not attractive, turns out.
This one actually applies to both men and women. People who are symettical in thier face and body attract more of the opposite sex. Some places even study symetry and claim they can can gauge beauty off of it on a scale. A little too invasive if you ask me. The reason for this is a symettical body is another indicator of healthy and fertility. She has a nice even face, healthy babies here we come!
6. Personality Traits
But what about how a woman acts and talks? It can’t all be about looks is it? Well, sadly, lol, mostly — yes, it is. It’s animalistic in nature, attraction. And we are talking about that initial attraction. Many people can be attracted at first to a woman and then lose it over time when they see their lifestyles don’t match up or they have stark personalities that clash.
But research does show that intelligence plays a key. Men are strongly drawn to smart women for the same reason they are drawn to feminine bodies, it is a sign she will be smart enough to take good care of his children.
There was a strong preference for Sanguine Stable Extraverts who are classed as easygoing, responsive, and lively, and an avoidance of Melancholic Unstable Introvertsclassified as anxious, rigid and reserved. — research from Adrian Furnham PhD for Psychology today
So more open, easy-going women are considered more attractive according to this study. Someone rigid and cold isn’t going to be loving and nurturing to him and his children, which he needs to balance off his inability to be this way. A warm and loving woman conveys a nurturing mother.
People want to knock gender roles and tell everyone to be themselves. I am not here to argue that. I simply wanted to present the facts. Science shows us feminine women are more desired statistically.
You be you 100%, but if your desire is to attract a more masculine type of guy, consider getting in touch which your feminine side.
Highlight what you do have that is feminine. A strong Alpha male can be sexy as hell! He’s going to want his opposite though. It’s easy to fall into the mentality of I can do it all myself, but this doesn’t afford him to opportunity for him to feel masculine, and it can actually end up being a turn off.
So maybe you CAN reach that bowl on the top shelf in the kitchen. Girl, just let him do it. He will feel amazing helping you out. Vulnerability doesn’t equal weakness, it shows your strength because it means you are willing to accept help and be part of a team and asking for help and being receptive towards a man shows femininity, which science has shown over and over to be largely attractive.
Jessica, the head honcho here at LoveLearnings.com, recently posted an article on what women want in an “ideal” man. Not only did Jessica get a flood of positive feedback from that article, but she also inspired me to write a similar article from a man’s perspective.
Men are often stereotyped — usually unfairly, I might add — as being visual creatures. The assumption is that men always go for the most physically attractive girl they can find, with other aspects of a woman’s personality being merely a secondary consideration. Wrong!
While it’s true that men do tend to place more value on looks than women do, it’s absolutely false to assume that other factors don’t play a huge role when men are looking for love.
In fact, while a woman’s appearance may make it easier for her to get a first date, it’s really all the other aspects of her personality that end up determining whether or not that first date leads to a second date and the potential for a more serious relationship down the road.
So, with that in mind, what do men look for in a woman? What are the traits and characteristics that guys identify when asked to describe the “ideal” girlfriend or wife?
1. Independence and Self-Reliance
While times are changing and traditional gender roles are rapidly disappearing, some parents still tend to take an overprotective and sheltered approach when raising a daughter.
This can lead to a lack of real-world experience and independence when women reach adulthood, meaning they tend to lean on boyfriends and husbands. Men much prefer a woman who can live on her own, support herself, and be successful in life without any assistance from others.
2. Femininity and a Lady–Like Demeanor
That doesn’t mean you can’t wear jeans, love baseball, and prefer steak to salad. It just means that guys like a woman who makes her man feel “manly.” Guys like it when women share their interests, but they’d much prefer their girlfriends be sexy and feminine than a tom-boy. At times that means being somewhat submissive and being the nurturing and caring one in the relationship.
3. Confidence and Self-Esteem
Yes, although confidence is typically talked about as a trait that women love in their man, the opposite is also true.
Men don’t want to be constantly asked, “do I look fat in this dress?” or “do you think I look pretty?”
We all need reassurance at times, but overall self-confidence is a universally desirable trait that men definitely find sexy.
4. Ambition and a Desire to Succeed
While most men don’t want to live in the shadow of their girlfriend or wife, they also don’t find laziness attractive. Most men identify ambition and a drive to achieve personal goals as an important characteristic. That doesn’t mean you have to be a rocket scientist or movie star to find a great guy, but it does mean you need to have goals and work towards achieving them.
5. Sexy and Seductive
You knew this one was going to be on the list, didn’t you? It shouldn’t be a big surprise that men like it when their girl knows how to be sexy and seductive at times, especially when they don’t expect it. That means you know how to turn your man on and show him a good time in the bedroom.
6. Able to Be Domestic at Times
As I mentioned above, gender roles are rapidly disappearing and the idea of being a “housewife” is somewhat foreign to many women. That’s OK, because you don’t need to be a Michelin-star chef and you definitely don’t need to be the next Martha Stewart.
But it sure is nice when a guy can come home to a meal every once in a while, and find his dirty clothes suddenly sitting in a neatly folded pile in his closet. Do these little domestic things every now and then and you might just find your man will return the favor by repairing your car and unclogging your bathroom sink!
7. Social and Able to Hold a Conversation
Simply put, if you’ve got a lot of friends and an active social life, it’s a clear signal that other people like you and want to be around you. Most guys like a woman who has a social life and enjoys talking and being around others.
8. Polite, Civilized, and Cultured
Again, while men won’t be scared away just because you swear occasionally and don’t know how to use chopsticks, they definitely prefer a woman who can be polite, sophisticated, and culturally aware. That means you’re experienced enough to know how to behave in all social situations and you’re well-versed in the ways of the world.
9. Positive and Upbeat
This is definitely an important factor for a lot of men, as women tend to sometimes be unfairly portrayed as “drama queens” in TV and movies. Almost all guys prefer women who have a positive outlook on life and can see the bright side in any situation. The glass is half full!
10. Fun, Playful, and Spontaneous
Just like you want your man to know how to have a good time and occasionally do something spontaneous and fun, the same can be said for men.
A random skinny dipping session on a winter’s day every now and then can really go a long way to maintaining a fun and happy relationship!
11. Dedicated to Taking Care of Yourself
Even though I prefaced this list by saying that men aren’t only interested in looks, every guy appreciates it when their girlfriend or wife cares about her appearance and doesn’t want to “let themselves go” when they feel comfortable in a relationship.
Your man will love you even if you gain a few pounds and don’t always wear a mini-skirt, but he’ll also really appreciate you putting in the effort required to maintain your appearance.
12. Emotionally stable
Sorry to play on this stereotype, ladies, but some women tend to let their emotions run free a little too often. Men prefer it when a girl can control her emotions and keep her cool. That doesn’t mean you can’t cry at the end of Titanic, it just means that you aren’t liable to explode in an emotional train wreck without notice.
13. Devoted and Loving
Men may appreciate this trait even more than women do. Almost all guys want to find a partner who is devoted, caring, and willing to give all of her heart to the man she loves. (This one usually takes care of itself if you’ve got the other items in this list covered!).
You Can Be Miss Perfect
The 13 character traits listed above are some of the most important, but every guy is unique and may value certain things over others. Overall, though, if you’re able to demonstrate most of them on a regular basis, you’ll find it much easier to find and keep the man of your dreams.
Brad Browning is widely regarded as the world’s most trusted breakup experts, boasting over 12 years of experience working with clients from around the world. Brad’s #1 best-selling breakup reversal guide, The Ex Factor, has helped more than 100,000 people from 131 countries to re-unite with an ex. Brad is also the author of Mend The Marriage, a comprehensive self-help guide that teaches married couples how to save their dying marriage and prevent divorce. Brad’s YouTube channel has over 300,000 subscribers and 40 million views, and he has been featured in a number of well-known media outlets and industry journals.
Women are often reprimanded for being complicated creatures, but the truth is that men can be just as guilty of sending mixed signals to the opposite sex. A lot of the reasons for why revert back to society’s traditional line of thought around masculinity — and what’s deemed “cool” or not — but let’s be honest: That’s no excuse. So if you’ve ever wondered what we, as men, really think and want, here’s a sneak peek at what we wish you knew.
1. We crave compliments just as much as you.
Some guys may try to play it off like they don’t need praise — they just threw on that T-shirt without thinking — but anyone who tries to tell you they don’t want a compliment tossed their way is full of crap. Yes, we thought about what you’ll think of how those jeans show off our assets. And yes, we want you to notice how the edge of our sleeves perfectly grip our biceps. (We’ve worked hard to make the muscle pop like that.) These compliments — whether they’re actually voiced or delivered through a lingering stare — remind men of what attracted you to us in the first place, it appeals to our Darwinian sense of selectivity (meaning it’s crystal-clear why you keep choosing us over the other monkeys), and sure, it makes us think there’s a possibility of procreation — or at least practicing the art of it.
2. And they don’t have to just be about our looks.
Just to be clear, the praise you give doesn’t need to revolve around our bodies. In fact, it’s important that women commend the things that masculinity tends to belittle, like if we’re good cooks or have insightful takeaways about foreign films. Tell us when we’re nailing the whole parenting thing, if we’re being helpful partners, or that you think we’re caring sons. These kinds of compliments aren’t something we’ll soon forget, and only make us want to further prove that we’re worth your kind words.
3. Our honesty is well-intentioned.
We know that, at times, tact can be the four-letter word that we never learned. But many times, being brutally honest is our way of showing you that we care. Think about it: Throughout the day, it’s common to lie or obfuscate with people you have no interest in. The art of BS is how we get through the day. But with you, we want to forget all that. We want to tell you why your mother bothers us and how you can stop fighting with your high-maintenance friend. Not only do we think it’ll solve a problem (more on that below), but we also want you to know that we think of highly of you. And mom taught us that you don’t lie to the ones who matter.
4. We really (really) want to solve your problems.
One of the biggest differences between men and women is how we handle difficult situations. Many times, women want to talk about what’s going on just for the sake of talking. To know that someone is really listening to them, and is here to comfort them when times get rough. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But for men, it’s our instinct to come up with as many potential solutions to the problem as possible. Blame the wiring in our brains, but what it boils down to is that we don’t want to see our loved ones suffer. So if you just want to have us listen — and not do anything about the problem, or offer our opinions on how to fix it — then tell us that up front. That way we’ll know to keep our traps shut and arms open.
5. We want you to appreciate our reliability.
Similar to why we’re so damn honest, a good man demonstrates his commitment to you by showing up. So yes, it’s more than a little irritating when you go on and on about the jerk who has mastered the art of ghosting, orbiting, or whatever new dating term kids are throwing around these days. It’s a vicious cycle — the more men feel those guys get the benefits of your time and attention, the more incentive we have to become those guys. And that’s a lose-lose for everyone involved. Instead, smile when we aren’t late to date night, or send us a text thanking us once we prove you can call at anytime. Positive reinforcement, right?
6. But don’t want to be attached at the hip.
We acknowledge the importance of couple time. We’d even go so far as to say that, in the best relationships, showing your beau some form of love each day deepens and extends the partnership. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t spend time apart. Going on a hiking weekend with the boys does not diminish the bond we share, nor does taking a few hours to workout solo or visit a store we know you have zero interest in. Just like women need alone time or girls night with their friends, guys need the companionship of other men or time to themselves. This kind of separation will refresh our minds, give us stories to share, and bring us back to you with more spirit.
7. We love feminine touches.
While no fair-minded guy wants women to return to the life of a 1950s sitcom, neither do we want the elimination of the feminine as a virtue. So don’t be ashamed to hold on to those things that make you different from us if they make you feel good. (If they don’t, then ditch ’em.) We may not always say it, but it’s beautiful — and much appreciated — how much you care about seeing flowers on the table, smelling nice, or cooking a delicious meal.
8. You can be a boss in the bedroom.
Unleash yourself. Express your fantasies. Use your hands. Suggest toys. Show us who’s boss and give good directions. No matter how you slice it, we love when you take control behind closed doors. Not only do your explanations heighten our intuition, but we get off knowing that you’re getting off, and that’s a win-win for everyone involved.
9. Seeing is believing.
Want to know why men like sports? Pure, measurable success. At the end of the game, no one can dispute the number of touchdowns, home runs, or points on the scoreboard. An athlete works toward a goal and is rewarded with concrete proof of his effort.
So what is the irrefutable proof of a successful emotional life? The data is less tangible. Men fear vagueness because, for some reason, it often feels like failure isn’t far behind. (And in case you hadn’t noticed, we hate to fail.) To temper that, we’d love it if you became our ally in emotional pursuits. Tell us when we’re being supportive, that it’s OK for us to cry at the Maxwell commercial, or that you really appreciate us opening up to you about a sensitive subject. It’s basically like giving us a pat on the back, but it’s the encouragement we need to keep stepping in a more emotional, well-rounded direction.
10. Try not to pick out the one thing we did wrong.
How important is picking up our socks if the yard is mowed each week? Does it matter that an item was forgotten at the store when we checked off the rest of the list? If the kid went to his friend’s house with a stained shirt, yet still finished his science project, is there a point to mentioning it? Sometimes we forget things, and maybe it even happens more than you like, but we’re human. And more than likely, we really are doing our best. So before you berate us, think about whether it’s worth the argument, and try to give credit where it’s due.
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Men want a lot of things to make their lives easier and happier. You can be the person to give your man this lovely life he wants. I know from experience that when things are running smoothly in the home your man will be a joy to live with. Make life simple for both of you by being there for each other and existing together stress free. You can create a brilliant atmosphere for each other by giving your man all the help and support he needs.
I know I take on a lot at home because I want to and I enjoy being there for my man. If he’s happy I’m happy. Giving your man what he wants is a responsibility that you should look forward to. You fell in love with him because you saw a happy contented person. This is the person you still want him to be. You just need to listen to him and together you will be a stronger couple who can deal with all that life has to offer you.
Men Want A Good Wife
The reason a man wants a good wife is because he can rest assured in the knowledge that you will always be there for him. He should feel proud of you for giving him a settled lifestyle, which he adores. A good wife is there for him through thick and thin. She gives him all of the love he craves. She sorts out all the mundane chores that go hand in hand with running a home. Traditionally the man would go out to work and the woman would stay at home where she will keep everything running along like clockwork. We live in a different era now where men and women are equal partners and share chores and problems together.
Men Want Organisation
Men want organisation and I don’t blame them. Nobody wants to come home to a messy house. He will want everything to be neat and tidy and trust me when I tell you that your man will be happier if everything has a place in the home. It’s not just about the house interior neither; it’s about not letting the paperwork build up to such an extent those important documents are lost or overlooked. When everything is organised life can be lived. It’s impossible to live life happily if you are knee deep in mess and appointments are missed just because up you couldn’t be bothered, and the stack of ironing that seems to build up so quickly needs sorting. My advice would be to take a deep breath and throw yourself into it with gusto. The end result of peace and harmony between you will be worth it.
Men Want Adventure
Men want adventure and I think that’s great. Having an adventure is exciting and will give you loads to talk about and discuss. Let your man’s adventurous side come out and he will love you all the more because you haven’t tried to stop him. In fact all of the encouragement you give him will be very much appreciated. If he wants an adventure then you should do everything in your power to give him that adventure. Let yourself get caught up in his enthusiasm and share the adventure with him. Be light-hearted and go all out to help and support him in his adventure. You’re not just there to go along for the ride; you’re there to go on the ride with him. Enjoy yourselves and give yourselves memories that will last a lifetime.
Men Want Home Cooked Food
Men want home cooked food because it shows them you care enough not to take the easy option by buying ready meals. Home cooked food is cooked from scratch using fresh ingredients. The fact that you care about his health and want to give him a nutritionally balanced meal with loads of vitamins and nutrients means you want him to know he is precious to you. There is nothing more fulfilling than to sit down together over a home cooked meal and discuss the different things that have happened to you both throughout the day. Home cooked food creates a feeling of wellbeing. Your man will know he has eaten well and will really appreciate the fact that you may have gone to a lot of trouble to get the meal on the table for him. It’s these homely touches that bring a couple closer together.
Men Want A Clean House
Men want a clean house because they want to sit down and relax. It is impossible to relax when there are dishes in the sink, or the dust is piling up on the sideboard. He will be on edge in case friends or relatives decide to call around to pay you a visit. He wouldn’t want them to walk into a dirty house. It would make you both look lazy and nobody wants to be thought of as lazy. You can’t possibly kiss and cuddle while all around you the place is looking like a dump. You need to get on top of it and get it sorted. You need to create a lovely ambience that is clean, warm and welcoming. Showing you care how your house looks means that he will know you have pride and respect for him as well as yourself.
Men Want Conversation
My man loves to talk. Sometimes he talks to me about technical jargon and I haven’t got a clue what he’s talking about! But the fact that I’m listening is the thing that really matters. If he’s got something he wants to discuss, it’s great if you could be interested. All the snippets of discussion or all of the in depth views can be listened to and reacted upon. You will share that special feeling of closeness because you talk to each other about all kinds of different subjects. You will learn from each other the different aspects and viewpoints of your own individual lives and backgrounds. You will learn what it is that you both want from the future. You will laugh together throughout your conversations, sometimes you will cry together when talking about something that has upset you, but all of the time spent talking will be time spent together. That can only be a good thing.
Men Want To Try New Hobbies
Men love gadgets, I don’t why this is the case but it most definitely is. He’ll come through the front door telling you about this or that friend who’s trying out a new hobby. For instance it could be making home brew beer. He will want you to be as enthusiastic about the hobby as he is. Put on a brave face and go along with the scheme. He will love you for it. He drags you down to the home brew shop and he buys the whole home brew kit. You are going to have to grin and bear it and when he asks your opinion on what beer you think he should buy, you are going to have to read the labels and help him choose. We all know how it’s going to end. The home brew kit will end up at the local car boot sale, but at least you went along with it which he obviously would have appreciated throughout his time being a home brewer.
Men Want Friends
Men want friends because there is no way we us women will ever understand some of the things that get talked about down at the pub. When men are with their friends it really is a case of ‘men are from Mars and women are from Venus’. We are a million miles away from what a friend can offer our man. But what we can do is let them have some fun and friendship, and try to understand that we don’t understand them at all. Live and let live is my motto, and this approach definitely works. The minute you say “I don’t want you to go out with your friends tonight”, is the minute he’ll run out the door. He knows he’s doing no harm and he wants you to understand that too. There is nothing worse than a nagging clingy wife who can’t let her man out of her sight. Give him a break and let him have a life. He will love and appreciate you much more if you can be fair. Don’t forget this works both ways and you can see your friends and live your life too.
Men Want Harmony
Men want harmony because there is no greater gift in life than peace of mind. If you can create peace of mind you have created a sanctuary for you both to live in. Imagine how fantastic it would be to come home and not have any worries. A home where calmness and peace are at its very heart. Your man will love this harmonious home. He will feel that it is a home where he can be himself. A home where you can shut yourselves away from the outside world for a few hours and enjoy each other’s company. There wouldn’t be any arguments because everything is as it should be. We can all have this dream home life. We all deserve to live the dream.
Men Want Peace Of Mind
Men want peace of mind because the holy grail of wellbeing is knowing you’ve done the right thing. Making the right decisions together and knowing you’ve done everything in your power to achieve a positive fair result will give you both peace of mind. Peace of mind is a mental state that will bring tranquillity into your lives. Men want peace of mind because they may have had a stressful day at work. They may have made a decision that they are unsure about. By discussing together the implications of the decision he will come to realise that it was after all the right decision and he was right to make it. Life can be full of surprises that have to be dealt with and knowing you’ve dealt with them in the correct manner will give you that feeling of peace of mind.
Men Want A Woman with A Good Personality
Men want a woman with a good personality because they know when they introduce you to their friends and family they will know that you will all get along and you will always say the right thing. It would be great if you could make him laugh, you don’t have to tell him a joke to make him laugh you just need to be yourself and let some of your daftness out. He will laugh at your antics and this will bring you closer together because he will know you are relaxed in his company. To have a nice caring personality is especially endearing to a man. He will know that no matter what happens you will take care of the people around you. He will love your beautiful nature and he will be proud of you.
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Men Want A Cuddle
Men want a cuddle because they need to feel contact. It reinforces them that they are loved because touch is everything. We all know that the tiniest of touches that means you are ok is worth its weight in gold. But never forget your man feels the same way too. It can be too easy to fall out of the habit of touch, maybe you’ve spent the evening working on the home computer and don’t realise that just a passing cuddle is enough so long as it’s meant with love. Human touch is a very natural thing, but somehow we’ve forgotten how and when to show our emotion. Get back to your more earthly self and embrace your man with open arms.
Men Want Independence
Men want independence because they want to stay true to themselves. It is impossible to live a decent happy life when you are restricted in any way. Moving around freely and in comfort is what he was born to do. Independence for your man means that he can make decisions without having to consult you every minute of the day. It means that at the drop of a hat he can say yes to someone’s request without having to worry about the consequences. Men want independence because they don’t want to hang on to your coat tails while letting you do the entire decision making. They want to move freely without question and if they can do this they will fall in love with your open and trustworthy attitude.
Men Want A Woman To Have A Sense Of Humour
Men want a woman to have a sense of humour because laughter is a great anecdote to the busy and stressful lives we sometimes have to deal with. If you can make each other laugh it will bring you even closer together. Having a sense of humour isn’t just about telling jokes or listening to him tell a joke it’s about having eye contact and knowing that you both find a certain situation funny. It’s absolutely hilarious when you both find something amusing and try to explain to others what it is exactly that’s got you both giggling like school children. Sometimes there is no answer to all the giggling but when you both start you just can’t stop. It’s really lovely when you can laugh together; it brings you so much closer. The shared funny moments will also give you something to talk about later when you discuss the thing that it was that set you both off laughing.
Men Want A Woman To Have An Appealing Character
Men want a woman to have an appealing character because they will want other people to see in you what they see. They are proud of you and they want the world to know it. A man will love it if people say “isn’t your girlfriend lovely; she’s got a lovely character”. It means that you have a heart and people know they can come to you for help or advice. They know that you wouldn’t pass them by in the street without saying hello and asking about them. Basically having an appealing character means that you are a nice person that your man will love. You are the type of person who looks after everyone and everything with a smile on your face. People like to be around you and this makes your man happy because conflict and bad feelings will not be a part of his life.
Men Want Romance
Men want romance because being in love is the best feeling in the world. When he invites you out for a meal it means he wants to spend time with you and enjoy your company in a romantic setting. When he buys you flowers it’s because he loves the romance of the courtship. The thrill he feels in his heart when you walk into a room and smile across to him. A simple walk in the park becomes something much more special when you walk hand in hand. The closeness and romance of the walk brings you even closer together. The mystery of the romance when he asks you to choose a special location for a date. The excitement of the romance when you can both discover more about yourselves. Never assume it’s always the woman who wants romance because that simply isn’t true. Men like romance too.
Men Want To Be The Hero
Men want to be the hero because by their very nature they want to protect you. Ever since time began men have seen themselves as the protective hero. The hero who can make everything and everybody feel safe. The hero who can make bad things go away. When you go to the cinema together and are watching a scary movie, he will want to put his arm around you to take some of your fear away. Men have always traditionally been brought up to be the hero. Their role in life seems to be to take care of their loved ones and to make sure no harm comes to them. Men like being the hero, it gives them a feeling of self-worth and that is a very good feeling to have.
Men Want Support
Men want support because they don’t want to go through life carrying the heavy burden of responsibility. If you can support your man and share the responsibilities you will be well on your way to a happy and loving relationship. You can support your man in a great number of ways. You can support him by sharing problems and finding solutions. Being there for him when things aren’t going his way. Helping him when he is worried about things. You can support him by listening to him and supporting him throughout any ordeals he may be facing. Facing up to problems together is a great way of showing support. Your man will love it that you are there for him, helping and supporting him. Showing him you care what happens to him.
Men Want Communication
Men want communication because they want to be well informed about all that’s going on around them. Enjoy having your dinner together while you tell each about your day. Talking about everyday things is a brilliant form of communication. You will want to hear what he has to say and likewise he will want to hear what you’ve got to say. He might not understand what kind of mood you’re in, whether you are happy or whether you are sad or worried. By communicating with him all the time he won’t have to second guess what is going on because you will be talking to him about your feelings and thoughts. There should be no secrets because secrets are like big black clouds hanging over you both. By communicating about something that isn’t so easy to say means that you trust him to keep your confidences to himself.
Men Want A Confident Woman
A man wants a confident woman because your confidence will give him confidence. If you walk into a room feeling shy he knows that he will have to be the one to do the all talking for both of you. If you walk into the room feeling confident it means you can be equal to him and you can both share the talking together. This will take the burden from his shoulders and he can relax knowing that he hasn’t got to be the life and soul of the party. I know from some of my nights out that when I’m feeling confident the night will flow with great ease and everybody enjoys the relaxed atmosphere. Sometimes though I must admit I haven’t felt so confident and you can easily tell that things don’t flow so smoothly, perhaps I’ve tried too hard to overcome the lack of confidence and what happens instead is that I’ve lost some of the strength of my character and that has affected the atmosphere. So take my advice and put a smile on your face and act confidently.
Men Want To Be Successful
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Men want to be successful because success is seen as the main goal in life. To have the big house, the fast car, the wallet full of money. These are all signs of success and everyman wants to enjoy success because along with success comes power. If you can understand his need for success he will look to you as a strong ally. You’ll be there for him as he tries to be as good as he can be. You’ll work through all the things he needs to achieve the level of success he wants. It would be fantastic if you could share the success with him, knowing you’ve done everything you can for him will be very much appreciated. You know the saying ‘when the going gets tough, the tough get going’ be tough for him and recognise his need for success and you will both reach your goals.
Men Want Loyalty
Men want loyalty because this more than anything will show him that you love him. There are many temptations out there in the big world. You must not give in to those temptations. It will ruin your relationship because once the trust has gone it is very difficult to get that trust back. He liked you the moment he laid eyes on you, he thought you looked beautiful and to top it all when he spoke to you he found you to have a really nice personality. The problem is that if he thinks you look beautiful other men will also think you look beautiful. You will be approached by different men, who probably find you equally attractive as your boyfriend does. If any of these men ask you to go on a date with them you must refuse. You already have a man and if you want to keep your man you will want to stay loyal to him.
Men Want Understanding
Men want understanding because they don’t want to go through the rest of their life explaining their motives or actions. Don’t get to the point where when he says its black you say it’s white, you may not agree with everything he says or does, but picking him up on everything he says would be incredibly frustrating for him. When he says he’s going out for a game of golf, be understanding and tell him you hope he has a good game. Tell him you’ll look forward to seeing him when he comes home later. Be understanding to what he wants and you yourself will enjoy a peaceful existence. If you start putting obstacles in his way he will start to resent you. You need to be understanding so that you can both live in harmony.
Men Want Fidelity
Men want fidelity because without it you really haven’t got a relationship to share. Instead what you’ve got is a relationship with others sharing in it as well. You can never be close to one another without fidelity because nothing will be sacred to you. You won’t have an honest relationship. You won’t have a loving relationship because how can you say you love him when you’re cheating on him. I don’t care how much of a temptation you find it to sleep with another man, you absolutely cannot do it. Not only will you lose him you will also lose a piece of yourself. Not only will your man disrespect you, you will not respect yourself. If you love him and you want your relationship to work then fidelity is the one thing that you can’t let go of.
Men Want A Woman To Be Spontaneous
A man wants a woman to be spontaneous because he wants you to enjoy the adventure you’re on together. He wants you both to live life to the full, so when he says let’s do this or let’s do that he will love it when you respond positively. He might wake up one day and want to go surfing, you’ve never been surfing but you are totally up for it. He will love it that you can be as spontaneous as he is. Your relationship together will know no bounds because whatever comes into your heads you will react upon. How great for you both that you can trust each other and have faith in each other to go on an adventure together at a moment’s notice. Life is for living and I know when you are spontaneous and open to suggestions your life will be full and happy.
Men Want A Woman Who Can Compromise
A man wants a woman who can compromise because there shouldn’t be a dictatorial attitude to any loving relationship. He won’t want you to dictate his every move; likewise you would find it difficult if he were to tell you what to do all of the time. Sometimes you will both want different things and will both have to talk and discuss what might be the best outcome. One of you will have to compromise because one of you will have a stronger reason as to why things should move in a particular direction. If you can show compromise you are both guaranteed to always come to the right solution at the right time that will benefit both of you. Showing you know how to compromise will show him that you are prepared to listen and change.
Men Want A Woman Who Is Caring
A man wants a woman who is caring because if she is caring it shows that she is a nice person and he could have a happy life with her. He will love it when you ask how he is or how his day at work has gone. He will love it that you care that his friends and family are all ok. When you make him his favourite meal he will love it that you care enough about him to cook for him. It’s the simple things that show you are caring, like running him to work because his train has been delayed or looking after some of the household chores so that he can relax. He will never have to worry when things don’t go his way because he knows you will be there for him caring about how he is and how you can help.
Men Want A Woman Who Is Funny
A man wants a woman who is funny because he likes to be entertained. You make a daft comment about something you’ve seen on television and he laughs his head off because it’s funny. Everybody likes to laugh; it lets the pressure out that you might be feeling. A man will love it when a woman can see the funny side of things. It’s very satisfying to be in a relationship where there is no stress because laughter is always there in the background. Maybe he says something interesting and you respond by pulling funny faces at him. He will find this highly amusing and the fact that you can make him laugh just by pulling a daft face will give you both a happy and loving environment to live in.
Men Want A Woman Who Takes Care Of Her Appearance
A man wants a woman who takes care of her appearance because it wouldn’t be very nice for him to have to live with someone who is scruffy and smells. So my advice to you is keep looking and smelling nice. I know a lady who keeps herself immaculate every day. She gets up and has a shower, she gets dressed in nice clothes and she dabs a bit of perfume on. She always wears her best jewellery and she oozes confidence. It will come of no surprise to you to learn that her man totally admires and adores her. He does everything for her; he runs the errands, he cleans up, and he does the shopping. The reason he does all of this is because he appreciates her and wants her to know that her efforts are much loved. If you would like to have this effect on your man I suggest you do what she does and look and smell nice every single day.
Men Want A Woman Who Is Strong
A man wants a woman to be strong because her strength will drive his strength and together they can achieve a lot of things. A woman can be strong in many ways. She can be strong when it comes to lifting; by using leverage a woman can lift most things. A woman can be strong when it comes to dealing with problems; she will look at all aspects of the problem and eventually find a solution. A woman can be strong when it comes to making decisions, sometimes when nobody else will make a difficult decision, she will be strong and make that difficult decision. These are just some of the examples of a woman being strong. When a woman shows strength she is showing her man that she can cope. If she can cope with whatever situation she finds herself her in, it shows him that he can get on with his own life with peace of mind knowing that she will be ok.
Men Want A Woman With A Maternal Instinct
A man wants a woman with a maternal instinct because he will know that if they were to have children she would be a good mother. A woman who has a maternal instinct is a blessing to a man. Not only does he know she will look after their children with love, he will also know that she will look after him as well. A lot of men like to be mothered. They have been used to being looked after by their own mothers for their whole life and they want this feeling to continue. It’s quite nice as a woman to be thought of as maternal, it means that the people around you admire you for having such a lovely quality.
Men Want Praise
Men want praise because deep down they have the same insecurities as everybody else. When you praise your man you are giving him confidence. He will love you for giving him this confidence. Maybe he’s never had anybody to praise him before and so the feeling that your praise gives him will build up a rapport between you that you can both thrive on. My advice for you is to praise him as often as you can. Try building a bond between you that is based on appreciation of each other’s skills, a bond that will see you through many happy years because you praised each other all along the way.
Men Want Respect
Men want respect. They want to hold their head up high and walk tall along the road. They want you to recognise that they are there for you through thick and thin. Showing your respect for him is showing him that you love and appreciate him for being there for you. It’s easy to show respect, you just have to recognise the things that he does for you and tell him how much you admire his efforts.
Men Want To Feel A Sexual Connection
Men want to feel a sexual connection because they love the thrill of what that connection might bring. You fall in love with each other because you both felt a powerful sexual chemistry pass between you. It’s a sexual connection that is as powerful today as it was when you first met. It’s a connection that keeps you both feeling loved and wanted.
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