- 10 Tips to Help You Deal with Your Ex
- The Do’s and Don’ts of Dealing with Your Ex
- How To Deal With Your Partner’s Ex Reaching Out To Them
- What’s The Motivation?
- Try To See The Positive Side
- Be Realistic
- Don’t See It Is A Snooping Opportunity
- And Don’t Put Up With Anything Inappropriate
- Your Only Chance To Get Him Back Is Having NO Contact — Here’s How
- How To Fix A Relationship After Being Needy
- Top Tips To Fix A Clingy Relationship
- The Real Reason Robin Thicke and Paula Patton Called It Quits
- Cheating rumors
- The divorce got ugly
- Family strain
- Robin says fame changed him
- Moving on
- Robin Thicke Engaged To April Love Geary
10 Tips to Help You Deal with Your Ex
Most of us have at least one former partner in our lives. Sometimes these relationships are smooth and sometimes the lines between ex and ex-tremely bothersome may be blurred. Here are some tips to help you make that relationship work without hurting your current partner.
1. Be patient. There’s usually uncomfortable fallout from most relationships so give your ex (and yourself) a little space to make appropriate adjustments.
2. Seek balance. If you and your ex have kids together you will be connected with this person for a long time. Putting the kids (both old and new) first will help you keep your priorities straight.
3. Don’t threaten, name call or belittle. Having a mature and respectful relationship with your ex is healthy for you, for them and for your current relationship. If you are not in a place where you can be emotionally stable around (or about) your ex then communicate via e-mail or through a third party until you (or they) have calmed down.
4. Use soothing words and tones. Getting upset and angry is not going to help you get your point across. Remember that there are probably some hurt feelings lingering so the more gentle you are (without becoming a doormat) the more likely you will arrive at a mutually beneficial decision.
5. Don’t talk business at family gatherings. If you see your ex at a family event, be polite, but don’t try to talk about “relationship business” issues. These discussions are best kept private and between the two of you.
6. Don’t use the kids as leverage. One of the most damaging things people can do it to put their kids between themselves and the ex. This makes everyone uncomfortable and will make your relationship with your children and current partner more difficult.
7. Don’t flaunt your new partner. If you have found someone new (or when you do) keep them out of the “business dealings” with your ex. These kinds of triangles can be painful for both the old and the new partner. It will make your life more difficult if one or the other sets up roadblocks because he or she is feeling insecure or angry.
8. Don’t put down your ex in front of others. If you speak in a derogatory fashion about someone you once loved, those close to you may fear that you will talk about them in the same manner.
9. Be friends (it’s okay). As long as your behavior is appropriate and you don’t favor your ex over your children or current partner, being friends with an ex can be a good thing. It shows your kids how mature adults should behave and helps both families deal with the inevitable speed-bumps that occur along life’s highway.
10. A little distance is also good. Make sure you set proper boundaries with your ex and are open with your new partner about how you want to deal with your previous relationship. Having everyone on the same page will prevent destructive events from occurring.
Letting uncomfortable feelings about a past relationship rule your life is such a waste of energy. Your ex still has a few good qualities so keep those in mind when you communicate. Usually if someone is treated with respect he or she will return the favor.
Learn your lessons and focus on the good that’s yet to come. Holding on to anger and resentment will only serve to bring everyone down.
The Do’s and Don’ts of Dealing with Your Ex
Everyone knows breaking up is hard to do. But staying in contact with your ex following a breakup? That’s where things get really tricky. By remaining in each other’s lives, you run the risk of a post-breakup rendezvous, holding onto feelings for your ex, and in general delaying your ability to heal and move on quickly (and without additional heartache). The following are some tips to help you avoid a post-breakup backslide into your ex’s arms, and instead ease you into your happily ever after future:
Create new Boundaries
Your best defense after a breakup? Immediately create new boundaries with your ex. That means no phone calls, no e-mails, no texting, and definitely no late-night visits. Your ex is now your ex. That means it’s time to “ex-tricate” him or her from your life.
What if you can’t completely cut off contact because you have children together, run a business together, or work together? Your recovery is a little bit more challenging. But it’s not impossible. You just have to create special new boundaries, only dealing with and talking to your ex when absolutely necessary about your common interests, i.e., the children, business, work. If your ex wants to know how you’re handling the breakup? Shut him or her down. If he’s curious whether you’re dating again? Tell them it’s none of their business. The same is true for you. Don’t pry into your ex’s post-breakup recovery. Just as you deserve to heal and move on, so does your ex. Give your ex the space and time to do so.
Avoid Being Each Other’s Crutch
You loved, you lost, you’re now in mourning. A word of warning when you’re in post-breakup mourning: DO NOT seek comfort in the arms of your ex. That’s a huge recovery no-no! Instead, recruit a support system from your inner circle of friends, preferably friends who have your best interests at heart and won’t report back to your ex on your progress and setbacks. This is actually one of the single most important steps you can follow during your breakup recovery. To heal and move on, you’re going to need help. That help should NOT come in the form of your ex. The same is true for you. If your ex calls, emails, texts, or stops by seeking comfort for his broken heart? Don’t open your arms. Instead, kindly but firmly let him know that you are no longer his go-to support system. Then shut the door on any and all opportunities to help each other heal following the breakup.
No Online Ex-Bashing
After a breakup, it’s only natural to feel some residual anger, resentment, bitterness, etc. And in the era of social networking sites and YouTube, it’s all too easy to go online and spew in front of millions of readers/viewers. Don’t do it! By going online and bashing your ex on your blog, via video diary, or to everyone in your social network, you are inviting bad breakup karma into your life. And you know what they say—what comes around goes around. When it comes around? Ouch!
Handle the Dreaded Run-in with Class
While it would be fabulous if your ex could be automatically ejected from the planet following the breakup, that technology has yet to be invented. And depending on the size of the city you live in, a post-breakup run-in with your ex is not only possible, it’s probable. Rather than become a shut-in out of fear of your ex encounter, embrace the possibility and plan for it. First, imagine the absolute worst case scenario: You haven’t showered in days, your clothes are wrinkled and smelly, your hair is a mess, and you happen to run into your ex on a date with the most gorgeous girl you’ve ever seen. In fact, they’re engaged, as evidenced by the huge shiny rock on her left hand. Can you see it in your mind? Pretty painful, right?
Chances are that’s not going to happen. In fact, your ex encounter will probably be a lot less dramatic than this scenario. However, the pain may still be there. In bumping into your ex, you may be reminded of what you loved about him or her. It may even reignite those familiar feelings of love, lust, or just plain loneliness. Do not use the run-in as an excuse to reconnect. What’s done is done. Your ex is now your ex. Bumping into him does not mean that the two of you are meant to be together. Instead, summon that inner strength, smile politely, and extricate yourself from the situation as soon as is possible without being rude.
Follow the Six-Month Rule
After a breakup, the best rule of thumb is to avoid all contact with your ex for at least six months. Think about what you can do in six months—train for a marathon, plan and take a well-deserved vacation, buy property, change jobs, heal and move on. In giving yourself a six-month cushion, you greatly increase your chances of getting over your ex. In the throes of post-breakup angst, you may not like the sound of that. Like it or not, it’s what’s best for you. Rather than fight what you know is right for you, give yourself permission to put the six-month rule into practice.
If you adhere to these guidelines, your post-breakup recovery will be that much easier. In letting go of your ex, you give yourself permission to heal, move on, and eventually find your very own happily ever after. Good luck and happy healing!
How To Deal With Your Partner’s Ex Reaching Out To Them
For some people, dealing with an ex is never easy. Certain people seem to have amazing, fulfilling, life-long friendships with their exes, which is genuinely a lovely thing. But for many of us, the situation is much more complicated— or downright toxic. And dealing with your partner’s ex can be even tougher. Even if you totally trust your partner, it’s completely normal to feel a knot in your stomach if you find out that their ex has reached out to them. “When your current partner says they are going to talk with their ex,” sex and relationship expert Megan Stubbs tells Bustle. “This can bring up a whole host of emotions with the current partner and it can be difficult to navigate those feelings.” Amen. I’ve had it happen— and it doesn’t feel great.
So what can you do? If your partner is already friends with their ex and has been for a long time, that’s one thing. But when they reach out of the blue? That always feels more suspicious. So take a deep breath, remember that you love and you trust your partner, and don’t panic. Then, you have to decide how you really feel about the situation and talk to your partner. Here’s what to keep in mind.
What’s The Motivation?
Firstly, talk to your partner about why the ex is reaching out, what their motivation might be— and if your partner does want to follow through on it, why they think it’s a good idea. “Find out the motivation behind the need to talk and see if the answers they provide you give you more clarity and make you feel comfortable with this happening,” Stubbs says. “Explain to your partner your concerns about this meeting and go from there. Hopefully you can reach a space where both of you feel that you have been heard and seen by the other. Communication, even when messy and uncomfortable, is so important in relationships.”
Try To See The Positive Side
If it seems like they’re going to be back in touch, try to focus on the positive. There are a of benefits that can come from meeting and even being friend’s with your partner’s ex— if only to demystify them in your head. “If it’s available to you, I would definitely encourage anyone who’s willing to have a relationship with their partner’s ex,” NYC-based relationship coach, Effy Blue tells Bustle. “I think if you can have a relationship with that person, it’s beneficial because then it will humanize that person. It’s not some scary person that you know nothing about, if you actually get to know them.” So if you had any lingering doubts about the ex, meeting them can actually help.
The other thing to remember is that, within reason, this is mostly about your partner. If it really hurts you, then that may be a different story. But if you just feel a little uncomfortable, it’s not fair to stop them from living their lives. It’s their choice if they want to talk to their ex. “They are likely going to be a part of your partner’s life, you may not like the choice your partner makes if given an ultimatum,” Blue says. “Also, it is more peaceful for all three of you if you make an effort to keep the peace and try to forge a relationship.” So you can voice your concerns to your partner, but also remember that it’s ultimately their choice.
Don’t See It Is A Snooping Opportunity
OK, some of us— myself included— like to pick at scabs. And for us, meeting a partner’s ex can be a way to torture yourself. Life coach Kali Rogers tells Bustle there are three things that need to happen for to get along with your partner’s ex. “Your partner is completely OK with it,” she says, firstly. “There is no competitive nature or jealousy in the friendship.”
All fair so far, but this last one is trickier: “your intentions are pure, the friendship doesn’t exist solely for snooping or gathering extra info about your partner.” Right. So if you’re just going to torture yourself, compare, or snoop, then make sure that you stay far clear of that ex.
And Don’t Put Up With Anything Inappropriate
You should keep an open mind— but you also should never put up with being pushed around. “This is a somewhat tricky question, but probably not as tricky as you might think,” dating expert Noah Van Hochman tells Bustle. “It depends on the overall relationship your partner has with this person, past, present and even future.”
The reason? Well, it makes a lot of sense. “You need to determine if those romantic feelings have disappeared but the feelings of friendship have remained,” Van Hockman says. “If your partner’s ex has not yet gotten over their relationship or breakup, all bets are off…” Exactly. And the same is true if your partner and their ex act in a way shady or disrespectful toward you. You don’t have to deal with that.
If an ex reaches out to your partner then, unless there’s something suspicious in their history, you kind of have to roll with it. Just try to keep the relationship between the three of you as healthy as possible. And if they can’t do that, then you don’t have to put up with it.
Okay, let me paint a picture for you.
There is a couple, Sarah and Mike.
Sarah and Mike decide to move into a cute little house together.
They are so happy.
It’s convenient because Mike works close enough that he can walk to work. The smallness of the house doesn’t bother them at all because they are just so happy being together.
They wake up every morning to the sun’s rays dancing through the curtains into their little kitchen. Life couldn’t be more perfect. The air in their house almost even feels lighter than the air outside.
It doesn’t even bother them when the sink starts to leak because they work together to fix it.
But, time goes by and the house starts to seem smaller than it once did.
It like they can’t get away from each other.
Sarah can’t do something without Mike being a part of it, even if he doesn’t mean to be.
They start to argue over who’s responsible for the dishes in the sink.
Their house doesn’t fit them anymore. The walls seem closer together and the air feels stale.
I’m not sure if Sarah asked him to or if he decided to on his own, but Mike packs his things and moves into a hotel up the road.
For the first two or three weeks, he habitually walks into the house several times. Each time Sarah politely makes chit chat as she ushers him back out the front door. She ignores his comments about the small changes around the house and she skillfully dodges all mention of the life they had together.
Finally, she decides to change the lock. When Mike’s key doesn’t work, his feelings are hurt and he pounds loudly on the door.
Sarah doesn’t even open it. She just talks to him through the door.
“Mike, you don’t live here anymore. You can’t keep showing up. I need some time.”
He leaves. The walk back to the hotel seems longer. His feet feel heavier.
The next day, he walks down Maple Street so he doesn’t have to walk past the house they used to live in together. That doesn’t stop him from thinking about it though.
One day, his curiosity gets the better of him. He uses his old route to get home.
He is shocked. She has replaced the dry cracked paint with a new vibrant color, that, frankly, makes Mike a little sick.
If he’s ever going to move back there, that color just won’t do.
He heads to the store and returns carrying gallons and gallons of the original color.
When he returns, he finds Sarah outside on a ladder, fixing a shutter that had begun to off the hinges a few months into them living there. She is quick to tell him that he’s not painting the house. He doesn’t live there anymore, so he doesn’t get a say in what color it is. Why can’t he just give her space like she asked?
Mike doesn’t even pick up the paint. He leaves and finds himself getting more and more agitated. It was almost like he had never even lived in the house. He had thought maybe if he painted the house back the color it was when they first moved there that she would let him help with the other repairs. Then she might ask him to come back.
He stayed away for a few weeks, but he couldn’t stop thinking about that horrible color and wondering what other changes she has made.
He decided to walk to the edge of the neighbor’s yard, where he could see the house without Sarah knowing.
There was a huge fence around the entire house. The “Keep Out” and “Beware of the Dog” signs made it clear that she didn’t want him anywhere near her.
How would he ever get her back? He just wanted to go back to the way things were.
When he looks at the house that used to be theirs, all he sees is the life they had.
Alright. Let’s come back to reality for a moment, because Sarah and Mike are just made up people and their house is an analogy that I will explain in a moment.
Besides, I was starting to get a little agitated at Mike, which is silly since he doesn’t exist.
It’s easy to look at someone else’s situation and just know what it is that they should’ve done. And you can usually tell what actions the should take (or stop taking) in the future.
But looking at our own situations is different. Our judgment is clouded by our emotions and our desires. That’s why we make so many mistakes at the beginning when emotions are high.
It’s usually only after we think we’ve screwed things up that we start looking to others to help us find a little clarity on our situations.
Isn’t that how you ended up here?
What do you need help with?
Getting My Ex Back
Knowing Exactly What To Text
The “Come Back”
So, how do you come back from trying to hold on too tightly and driving your ex so far away that it doesn’t seem likely that she’ll ever come back?
Is it even possible?
Well, I say that it’s up to you.
You have to decide to keep your emotions in check.
Am I say not to feel what you’re feeling?
No. Absolutely not.
I am telling you not to let your emotions determine your actions.
If you take what we tell you here and put it into action then your odds of having her come back to you are much higher than if you keep doing what you’re doing or if you give up.
The way I see it, you’ve tried a way that doesn’t work. Now you can try a way that has helped several hundred people get their exes back.
Yes. It is possible to come back after making even the most desperate mistakes.
I know I know, I sound like some Disney yahoo.
It’s not going to be all sunshine and rainbows. I won’t tell you it will be. I can tell you that it will be easier with a plan and people who can support you. We provide both of those things.
Step One: Where To Start If You Were To Clingy With Your Ex Girlfriend or Vice Versa?
So, as I always say, let’s dive in.
The hardest thing in starting anything is taking the first step.
I’m sure you picked up on the analogy earlier, but I’m going to walk through it anyways.
The house is the life that the two of you built together. At first, it’s solid and perfect. You don’t mind having each other all up in your business all the time.
Over time, things slip. You get comfortable and you stop putting in so much effort. Hence the peeling paint and the hanging shutters.
The leaving, that’s the breakup, whether she broke up with you or you decided to leave on your own, you decided you wanted her back and you… overreached, so to speak.
Don’t worry, it’s in everyone’s nature to do just that. More people than you can even begin to imagine react by trying to hold onto what they had and driving their ex away.
That first step means letting go of that past.
That’s not what you wanted to hear. Right?
Have you ever heard someone say “The first step is acceptance.” Usually, they are talking about addictions, death, or other things that alter your perceptions of life.
But emotions alter your perception too.
Choosing to fight against those natural reactions though is hard. It takes discipline.It’s a quality that so few people have these days. If you are one of those few, then I suggest you summon every ounce of self-control that you have.
Discipline is about your ability to control your desires and impulses in order to stay focused on what needs to be done to achieve a goal.
I know you think the goal is just to get your ex back and all of your focus right now is on her and what she’s doing. But your discipline needs to be to shift your focus onto your life.
It will feel like it is the most difficult thing you will ever do.
Your mind will wander back to what she’s doing and inevitably you’ll find yourself looking at her social media or driving past her house. The discipline is redirecting your mind to your own life.
First, start No Contact. That is a must. You can’t move forward if you are still looking backward. You can read more about No Contact and how long it should be here.
Once you start No Contact, you should decide what you want to accomplish in your life. Don’t worry about her’s. You can’t control anything she does or anything she has going on in her life. What you can do is control what’s going on in yours.
Step Two: Layout a Plan
So, figure out how to make you are going to improve your life, and we’ll go from there. But you need to have a clear picture of what it is that you’re going for.
For me, when I had to make the distinction, I had to decide to finish up some courses I was putting off finishing. I had to figure out if the hobbies and interests I had in my life were there because I wanted them there or if they were there because I thought they were something my ex had brought into my life. And I had some old college debt I need to take care of. I had put all of it off because it was one big mountain. I was happy so my mountains didn’t really matter to me much at the time.
But then, after you get to a point where you aren’t happy and you are looking backward instead of forwards, you don’t have the motivation to conquer mountains either.
So, get your head wrapped around the things you can change.
Once you get this picture solidified in your mind, you need to lay out what it is going to take to get there. I mean step by step what it will take.
Step Three: Get Rid of Distractions
For me, laying out a plan meant I had to evaluate my student debt. I had to do a lot of studying to knock out my last few classes. And I had to learn how to reset my mind to redirect every time I started to think about what might have been and what my ex was doing that very moment.
It was far from easy.It’s like we are with our phones now.
It’s like we are with our phones now.
Think about it. When you have a moment when there is nothing specific for you to focus on, what is the first thing you do?
You look at your phone, right?
And it isn’t because there is something important on it. It’s just because it has been a source of entertainment ever since you’ve had it.
Kind of like your ex.
At the beginning, when you were bored, you would reach out to her. Then, once you were together, you knew she would be there if you reached out to her.
Breaking that habit is no easy feat.
If you were having a hard time giving up the habit of reaching for your phone and checking facebook every time you were bored, what would you do?
You would remove facebook from your phone or at least log out and make it more difficult to log on. Right?
That’s why it’s important to remove the distractions in this situation too.
Unfollow her on Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, and whatever other social media you have a habit of checking on her with.
This will make it easier to focus on your goals rather than hers.
I can’t illustrate how important this is for you to be successful.
But this baby does a pretty decent job of it.
Step Four: Stick with it
The hardest part about all of this is not giving up on your goals when you have setbacks.
One of the best things I ever found that made it easier to stick with it was setting up a countdown for the end of No Contact. You know, one that reminded you how much time you had left until you could move into the Texting Phase. The most important thing for you to remember once you make it to the Texting Phase is not to let your emotions take over and drive your actions.
Which you can read about here.
My suggestion on No Contact is to do the full 45 days since you’ve already pushed her away by being clingy.
And if you didn’t go read that article earlier, I suggest you do once you finish this one. Here’s the .
All you have to do is stick to the plan and follow it until you get where you want to be.
Feel free to reach out to any of us here at Ex Recovery. We do our best to answer every question.
Your Only Chance To Get Him Back Is Having NO Contact — Here’s How
Does distance make the heart grow fonder — or is it out of sight and out of mind?
Whether we admit it or not, romance comes with a set of unwritten rules — laws we follow in order to win the dating game (and turn it into the mating game).
Among the most talked about of these rules is the one involving what to do during the post-breakup phase if you want to know how to get him back or how to get your ex boyfriend back.
Namely, the “No Contact After Breakup” rule.
The No Contact Rule is a concept that involves total separation.
The way it works is simple: After your relationship ends, you stop all communication with your ex for at least 21 days.
This means no seeing each other, no texting, no calling, no emailing, no liking posts on social media, no letters sent via carrier pigeon.
But is this no contact effective in reality instead of just in theory?
Many people worry that it isn’t, as they focus solely on their ex’s possible reaction to this lack of communication.
Will they hold a grudge?
Will they move on?
Will they run off to Vegas and marry the first person they see?
The problem with these questions is that they’re focused on inefficient or ineffective areas of the relationship. They’re also focused on the other person (the ex) rather than on your own perspective. And it is your perspective — and your focus on your own perspective — that is of the utmost importance.
When a partner leaves you, shifting your perspective is important. There are a few things to keep in mind in order to perpetuate this shift.
Here’s how to make the “No Contact” rule successful for you:
First of all, the no contact rule isn’t used to make your ex miss you.
That may very well happen, but that’s not why you’re doing it. It’s for you — for you to learn more about yourself and the relationship in general.
By shifting the perspective and viewing it in this manner, you learn how to respect your partner’s choice to leave. You’re honoring their decision, which communicates strength, resolve, independence, and self-worth — all things that are very attractive.
Still, even if you’re communicating all of this, there is a fear of it falling on deaf ears.
In short, how does your ex know you’re super strong and awesome if you’re not talking to them, not seeing them, and not texting sweet nothings into their smartphone?
The answer: silence speaks volumes.
Even if you’re not communicating in the basic sense of the word, you’re still saying something. No matter what you’re doing (or not doing), you’re always communicating. Even when you’re not in direct contact, you’re still speaking through the no contact rule.
Your silence says more about who you are and the status of your character than going back to an ex ever will. Your refusal to call them or “accidentally” run into them at the grocery store says more than knocking on their door and begging for their return ever could.
Second, when you ask yourself, “Does having no contact work?” whatever you answer — yes or no — is automatically right.
It’ll work for you, or against you, depending on your level of effort.
It’s not a simple thing, of course. When someone you love blindsides you, hurts you, rips your heart from your chest and dances an Irish jig on top of the right atrium, it sucks. But, with resilience, you’ll be among the no contact rule success stories.
The way to get him back is to focus on one thing: yourself (Yay, you!!!).
Do whatever you need to improve yourself in whatever way you’re able (all of us have something we can improve upon).
You might take up journaling or hire a life coach. You might find a new hobby or throw yourself into yoga. You might join a gym or a book club.
You might even consider talking to someone who is objective, someone other than your mother. Someone who can hold up a mirror and enable you to see the person you are juxtaposed against the person you want to be.
All too often in relationships, we become emotionally invested in a way that we begin to act in a certain manner. This can skew how we see things, preventing us from seeing what is right in front of us … including ourselves.
Three weeks — 21 days — is really nothing in the grand scheme of things.
It’s the blink of an eye. Anyone willing to dedicate themselves to the no contact rule can make it work for 504 measly hours.
Once you’ve successfully avoided communication with your ex for three weeks, and in the process shown them what a kick-ass person you truly are, deciding whether or not the relationship is something worth saving will come to you much more naturally.
It might be worth a second chance or it might not, but the break allows your decision to come from a balanced perspective — one of strength instead of desperation — and one of reason instead of fear.
If you’re ready for the next step, You’ll get a few Secrets to Create a Rock Solid Relationship. All guaranteed to help you get back the love that you lost.
This article was originally posted in Yourtango.
How To Fix A Relationship After Being Needy
Sometimes in relationships, you can become so taken with your partner that you actually end up pushing them away. Men and women alike sometimes have flight responses when they feel overwhelmed, and a relationship getting too serious on a much faster basis than they expected or even wanted and can tap right into that urge and feel like they just need space.
Whether it’s fair or not in every situation, the psychology behind it makes sense. A lot of potentially great relationships are ruined this way. So what can you do if things are already headed down that path?
Top Tips To Fix A Clingy Relationship
To fix a relationship after being needy, the first thing you want to do is open up a direct line of communication with your partner. No relationship can ever work if the couple has a failure to talk through important issues with one another.
If you notice they’ve become distant and you get the sense that maybe you’ve been coming on too strong, don’t be afraid to bring it up in conversation in an effort to sort out the problem. Ideally, you should be able to come to some form of understanding and begin shifting towards a healthier path.
It’s also important to start giving your partner just a little bit more space. However, if they already feel as if you’ve been needy as of late, immediately getting into what’s going on might be more than they’re willing to deal with.
Whether you sense this happening or have been told directly, the best thing you can do is remain calm and merely back off a little. Consider just how much you contact them and how often you’re pushing to get together. Pairing that back some might help them feel less suffocated by the rapid progression of the relationship. (If nothing more, having you around less often might help them see what they’re missing!)
See Also: The no contact rule to get him to come back to you
If you have been needy in the relationship, the first important step is, to be honest with yourself about how you have been. From here, you also need to then be honest with your partner.
If you have recognized needy behavior in yourself and you are aware that it is causing a problem then your partner will also be aware of the issue. Therefore, trying to ignore it or sweep it under the carpet like it didn’t happen isn’t the best approach. Experts say that it can often be better to discuss it with your partner and let them know you have acknowledged the neediness and are determined to change it. Thank them for their patience up to this point, but let them know that you are changing it now.
Related Article: 10 signs he’s losing interest in you
If you know why you have been acting this way then work on resolving those issues within yourself so you it will be far less likely that you will ever feel needy towards your partner again in the future. Let then know the reasons for your neediness and tell them what you are doing to resolve it.
See Also: Making him want you back – what you need to know
You must also be understanding about your partner’s feelings and try to see things from their perspective. These situations are most often about a fear or a complicated response to whatever else might be going on in the person’s life. Usually, with patience and time, these issues can be worked out. Along with communication and space, you have to be patient rather than reactive. Don’t make the issue seem like it’s too big of a deal. If your partner is already feeling pressured, that could easily push them even further away and lead to the end of the relationship.
With that, you should have the basis for how to fix a relationship after being needy. Having a partner that’s hesitant to keep the trajectory of the relationship moving so rapidly doesn’t have to be the end. As long as you keep your cool and are willing to work with them to find a solution, you might be able to mend and move on to being even happier in the long run. Just be sure that your feelings are given fair consideration as well! Don’t forget that successful relationships are all about compromise and finding a perfect “happy medium.” Good luck!
The Real Reason Robin Thicke and Paula Patton Called It Quits
Robin Thicke and Paula Patton used to look so much in love. When the couple announced their split back in 2014, fans were surprised. What led to their breakup? Here’s the real reason Robin Thicke and Paula Patton called it quits.
Robin Thicke and Paula Patton | Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images
In 2013, rumors began swirling about Thicke possibly cheating on Patton. A photo surfaced of Thicke with his hand on a woman’s derriere while they were attending a party. Instead of explaining his behavior, Thicke commented on the state of his marriage. “My only comment about the so-called scandalous photo would be that my wife and I are perfectly in love and very happily married,” Thicke told Star. “So, no complaints there.” In the same interview, Thicke said he and Patton had “the greatest love of the century and the most functional dysfunctional marriage in Hollywood,” reports E! News.
The divorce got ugly
Patton and Thicke’s divorce got messy. Us Weekly reports Thicke was investigated by the Los Angeles County Department of Child and Family Services following allegations of child abuse for spanking the couple’s son, Julian.
The child reportedly told school officials Thicke allegedly spanked him on more than one occasion. After Julian’s statement, the school allegedly reported the incident and the Department of Child and Family Services conducted an investigation. As a result of the drama, Patton reportedly restricted Thicke’s visitation with their son, Julian, according to US Weekly.
One factor that could have contributed to the demise of the couple’s relationship is that Patton reportedly didn’t get along with Thicke’s father, Alan. Consequently, Patton wasn’t allowed to come to Alan’s funeral in 2016. US Weekly reports her ex-husband made note of this during the divorce proceedings:
It is my belief that Paula holds residual anger towards me because I and my family would not permit her or her family to attend the funeral of my father on December 20, 2016. Paula did not have a positive relationship with my father… As such, she was not welcome at his funeral. It is my belief that Paula only wanted to attend because it would have resulted in additional public exposure for her.
Robin says fame changed him
Paula Patton and Robin Thicke | Chelsea Lauren/Getty Images
Thicke admitted he changed after his career took off, and that it likely contributed to the demise of his marriage. “We’re apart because we just couldn’t be together anymore for a while,” he said during an interview with Hot 97. “There’s a hundred different reasons, there isn’t just one. There’s a long list… I changed, and I got a little too selfish, a little too greedy, and little too full of myself.”
Both Patton and Thicke have moved on. Patton is currently dating realtor Zach Quittman. Thicke is engaged to model April Love Geary. On Christmas eve 2018, Thicke popped the question to his longtime girlfriend. Geary announced the engagement on Instagram, captioning the photo, “Yes Yes 1000x Yes.” This will be Thicke’s second marriage and Geary’s first.
Read more: How Did Robin Thicke and April Love Geary Meet?
Check out The Cheat Sheet on Facebook!
Robin Thicke Engaged To April Love Geary
Robin Thicke wants to tie the knot for a second time.
The “Blurred Lines” singer, whose father is the late Canadian actor Alan Thicke, is engaged to model April Love Geary.
Thicke, 41, popped the question to Geary, 24, over the holidays in front of family members and friends.
“YES YES 1000x YES,” she captioned a photo of the couple standing in front of a Christmas tree, on Instagram.
The couple, who welcomed daughter Mia in February, is pregnant with their second child.
Fans speculated that Thicke and Geary were married in 2016 when she shared a photo on Instagram of their ring fingers – with the initials “RT” on hers and “ALT” on his.
Thicke was married to actress Paula Patton from 2005 until she filed for divorce in 2014, citing his infidelity and alleged drug use. They have a son, Julian. The singer’s 2014 album, Paula, is a tribute to Patton.
In November, Thicke and Geary shared the news that their Malibu home was destroyed in the Woolsey wildfire.
View this post on Instagram
YES YES 1000x YES 😭😭💍
Robin Thicke and his longtime girlfriend April Love Geary are officially engaged. The “Blurred Lines” singer popped the question to Geary during holiday festivities on Christmas Eve.
“YES YES 1000x YES,” Geary captioned two black-and-white photos of the couple on Instagram on Monday night.
The model, who is expecting the couple’s second child, also shared a video of the singer’s table-side proposal while they were enjoying a holiday dinner among friends and family.
Robin Thicke (L) and April Love Geary attend the amfAR Gala Los Angeles 2018 at Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts on October 18 in Beverly Hills, California. Thicke and Geary are engaged. Rich Fury/Getty Images
The couple started dating in February 2014, shortly after Thicke separated from his now ex-wife, actor Paula Patton.
Thicke and Geary welcomed their first daughter, Mia, 10 months ago in February. They recently shared the news of their latest family addition in August.
Geary announced her pregnancy in an Instagram post of her daughter holding up an ultrasound picture. “Well someone is going to be a big sister next year! We’re so excited to share with y’all that I’m expecting again!” she captioned the photo. “We find out Saturday if it’s a boy or a girl! What do you guys think it’s going to be? Forgot to mention the due date is Robins birthday!”
Thicke also shared the news with his Instagram followers and posted a video. “They said we couldn’t make another anthem, so we went and made another anthem!'” he wrote. “Thank you April.”
The baby is expected to arrive in late winter 2019 on Thicke’s birthday, which is March 10.
The child will make the third for Thicke, who also shares 8-year-old son Julia Fuego with ex-wife Patton. The couple divorced in 2015.
Thicke and Geary made their official debut as a couple at the 2015 Cannes Film Festival after dating for more than a year.
The couple have fueled engagement rumors for years. Fans speculated wedding bells would eventually ring for Thicke and Geary after the pair got matching tattoos on their wedding finger in 2016.
Thicke and Geary weren’t the only ones to get engaged on Christmas Eve. Supermodel Heidi Klum also shared news that her boyfriend, musician Tom Kaulitz, popped the question. “I SAID YES,” she captioned a photo of the couple, showing off her dazzling new diamond.