Pooja Parikh Traveled Across The World For The HS Diagnosis That Changed Her Life Forever


You’re at a party and you see him. The best looking thing to walk through the doors that night. You’re in class and you sit next to him, the most gorgeous guy you think you’ve ever seen. You’re in a coffee shop and you’re standing in front of him. Could he be a model? Probably. You wrack your brain, stressing yourself out, wondering what it would take to get a guy like “Thats” attention. I’m about to jump into the psyche of the attractive male and tell you what it would take to get his attention and get him on that date, so he can realize just how amazing you are for one another.

Also, note that this can be for both genders, not just guys.

1. Know that he is used to getting attention.

It is no secret that attractive guys get more attention. Whether they are tall, have an impeccable jawline, or have the whole package; whenever they walk into a room all eyes are on them and they are aware of that. They have been aware of that ever since they hit puberty and started getting attention from every girl in the neighborhood.

You are not doing anything special by giving him attention. You are not doing anything special by laughing at his every joke. You are not doing anything special by commenting on how beautiful his eyes are, or his height, or his lips or whatever it is you deem makes him a beauty.

He’s attractive, but he doesn’t want that to be the only thing girls ever see in him. He wants to feel like he has substance outside of his facial features. The best way to start a conversation with this guy is the same way you would someone you aren’t intimidated by. Be natural, and if he says an unimpressive joke, call him out on it!

2. Know that he may be just as shy and insecure.

Just because he was blessed with the features of a Greek god doesn’t mean he feels that way. Hey may even seem overtly confident, but that’s only because that is what is expected of him, because of the way he looks. Just like you may not think you are good enough for him, he may think he is not smart enough for you, or creative enough, or successful enough.

Meanwhile, while you are imagining all the hot girls he must be banging every day, he may be thinking about how fashionable you are and internally criticizing himself about his own fashion sense. What I’m trying to say is, don’t just assume that because he is hot he is cocky, or has a huge ego. He is most likely just a down to earth guy who has a great face.

3. Know that he has seen it all/ heard it all before.

It is in our nature to be drawn to people with more aligned features. People that are taller, more fit, biologically blessed to put it short. Since the most attractive guy in the room gets the most attention, he has heard every “quirky” line in the book. He has been treated like crap because girls feel like they need to put him in his place and he has dealt with girls saying they are one thing and then completely being another the next week.

To put it shortly, he knows a fake when he see’s it. He knows when a girl is not being her genuine self, but merely a more “dateable” and flirtatious version of herself to hopefully win over his affections. It’s old news to him. He is looking for someone real. Someone who isn’t afraid to snort when they laugh around him, or nudge his shoulder after a corny joke. Don’t think you have to vamp up your quirks or put your sarcasm on full speed. Be who you genuinely are.

4. Know that you need to be a little unfazed.

I know, I know. He’s hot. But in a sick and twisted way, you don’t need to let him know it. What I mean is, don’t get caught gawking at him from across the room every time he looks in your direction. Try not to get tongue tied as he is looking deep into your eyes while you talk. Take a deep breath and remember he is just a normal guy. Keep telling yourself this as you approach him at a party, or turn around to speak to him at that coffee shop he always comes to at 3p.m. on Saturday evenings…not that you’re paying attention, or anything. He doesn’t want to feel like you are a ‘fan’. He gets enough of that in his everyday encounters. In a way, its comforting for him if you are unfazed by his good looks because then he can let his guard down and show his true personality, too.

5. Know that he is more than a pretty face.

What I mean is, try not to talk about how he looks. At least at first. Avoid comments like:
“A good looking guy like you in Starbucks, alone?”

“You MUST have a girlfriend, huh?”

“You’re eyes are so beautiful.”

I know this sounds harsh, but know that he has heard things like the later so many times it isn’t even really a compliment anymore rather than a person pointing out the obvious.

“You’re so tall!” He responds with thanks, but he knows he’s tall. Three people have reminded him this already. Instead, compliment him on something he may not expect. Notice his character. Notice his talents. Notice his sense of humor or his sense of style. Things that may go unnoticed because everyone is too busy telling him about how great-looking he is.

6. Know that yes, he could be single.

Contrary to popular belief, attractive guys can be very single. People think that because a person is good looking that their love life may be flourishing but that’s usually not the case. Because hot guys are, well, hot…girls are instinctively more intimidated by them, and if they aren’t they usually are over-the-top when dealing with them.

It’s hard for them to find someone that isn’t fazed by their looks. Someone who wants them as a person, not just a trophy. So don’t just assume he has a girlfriend and one on the side. Just because he is hot doesn’t mean he isn’t looking for a lasting relationship too. He may have just not found a girl that sparks his interest yet, his desire to chase. You can be that girl. Just believe, in yourself, as IIIIIII believe in, yoooooooouuuuu.

7. Know that he doesn’t want you to be perfect.

Hot guys are more forgiving than we give them credit for. We see them in the bar in their leather jacket and slick back hair, surveying the place and just assume he is thinking terribly vile things about everyone. He’s not. He could just be thinking about taxes, or something.

Attractive people learn to be more forgiving of others flaws because they themselves are very critical of their own. I know you think he only dates 6’2 Victorias Secret models but he doesn’t. He just wants a normal, amazing girl and that doesn’t mean perfection. He is tired of everything being about looks. He wants to know about you, and he wants you to accept his every perceived flaw too. (I saw perceived because we all know he has none. Or maybe like one or something. So annoying!)

8. Know that he really just wants you to be your fucking self.

Drop the gimmick. Take off the uncomfortable tight dress if you don’t like it. Don’t try to make sultry eyes if you have no idea what that even means. Don’t become a nervous wreck. Don’t pretend like you have everything in common. Don’t drop your potty mouth. Don’t try to ‘put him in his place’. Just be you. Be unadulteratedly you. Because in the end of the day, that’s the girl he’s going to be pushing past guys in the bar to speak to. You.

Tamara Schlesinger

When you’re gearing up for a night out, you probably have a pretty standard checklist: Sexy top? Clearly. Killer pair of heels? Obvs. But there’s a big difference between a guy checking you out and a guy who can’t resist your spell.

That’s why some new research being done on attraction is so intriguing — it offers subtle, novel strategies for not only grabbing attention but also inspiring plenty of introductions and phone-number exchanges. Get ready to work your come-and-meet-me voodoo by tapping in to the way dudes’ brains work.

1. Don’t Disregard the Basics

Even the best ninja-level seduction tricks will be useless if you don’t practice good fundamentals. You may have heard of, or even used, these maneuvers before, but their success makes them worth repeating. For starters, always keep your group of girls nice and small. “It’s ideal to go out with just one or two other friends,” says relationship expert Krista Bloom, PhD, author of The Ultimate Compatibility Quiz. “If you’re with a larger group, pair off for 30-minute intervals to give guys the opportunity to come up to you.”

Choose your wingwomen wisely — you want to be surrounded by friends who are outgoing and don’t need to be babysat — and avoid standing so that your shoulders are squared toward each other; physical openness will send the message that you’re okay with being approached and not engrossed in an intimate convo. Be sure to plant yourselves in a high-traffic area near the center of the room…but never near an exit. You may get noticed there, but dudes who constantly eyeball the door are likely to be always looking for the next best thing.

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2. Show Off Your Neck and Shoulders

Now on to more stealthy tactics. It’s certainly no secret that men are visual creatures. However, it turns out that convincing a guy to approach is far more complex than simply undoing an extra button. “It has less to do with displaying lots of cleavage and more to do with flaunting your shoulders,” says David Givens, PhD, author of Love Signals.

While men are evolutionarily attracted to both bare skin and soft, round shapes (duh), they also have a more developed subconscious that equates boobs spilling out of a too-tight dress with desperation. So opt for a slightly more discreet body-skimming halter or tube top to give off a confident, sexy vibe.

A bonus tip: Be sure to draw attention to your neck dimple — the little indentation beneath your throat and just above your clavicle — with an eye-catching necklace. Research shows that this often overlooked area is alluring to men because it represents femininity and vulnerability.

3. Use Your Drink as a Seduction Prop

A drink can be a great tool if handled correctly — as a conversation piece or to clink glasses with him flirtatiously. Just avoid using it as a security blanket. “Cradling a drink in front of you puts up a subtle barrier,” says body-language expert Greg Hartley, coauthor of I Can Read You Like a Book. “It shows discomfort when you’re fiddling with your straw or a bottle label.” To avoid looking like a stressball with lipstick, set down your vodka on the bar or a nearby table now and then to use your hands while telling an especially funny story to a friend — it broadcasts your energy, which is superattractive.

4. Subtly Show Off Your Lower Half

Most men won’t appreciate your killer pair of designer heels — well, most straight guys, anyway — but strategically encouraging them to bring their focus downward will still work wonders to lure them over. “When you’re seated on a banquette or bar stool, try crossing and uncrossing your legs every minute or two,” says body-language expert Janine Driver. “It’s a flirtatious action that draws attention to a body
part that men crave touching.”

Another trick: While one of your legs is crossed over the other, dangle your shoe from your toes so that it’s half off your foot. Not only does this action indicate that you’re unlikely to bolt if he approaches you, but it also suggests that you’re extremely relaxed and self-assured.

5. Put on Your Best Game Face

It’s not enough just to stand there and look gorgeous. You also have to flash some fierce and flirty looks. “We’re finding that men need a whole lot more coaxing than you’d think,” explains Ann Demarais, PhD, coauthor of First Impressions. “You have to send a pretty strong message that you’d be
receptive to the guy if he actually came over to talk to you.”

Always smile — sultry stares will backfire — and try this sneaky tactic to make him think he already knows you: “Flash both brows upward for a half-second and then drop them quickly,” suggests Hartley. “An eyebrow raise is a form of recognition, so you’ll have him scanning his mental database to figure out your connection and when he may have met you.”

In other words, his incentive to make a trek across the room is now twofold: He’s sure you took notice of him, so he’ll be encouraged by the flattery. Plus, he’ll be able to break the ice by asking if you know each other — without coming off like a cheese ball.

What Not to Get Noticed For

You don’t want to be a wallflower…but you really don’t want to attract attention for any of this mortifying behavior.

Dancing like nobody’s watching — except everybody is watching because you look like a crazed baboon that’s on fire

Winning the Jäger-bomb competition you’d been having with a bunch of frat guys before losing the not-puking-all-over-the-floor competition that you had been having with your stomach

Cramming as many mini quiches and pigs in a blanket as possible into your clutch for a late-night snack

Doing a keg stand while wearing a baby-doll dress and no panties

Actually, just doing a keg stand, period

Bursting into tears anytime a guy you’re talking to excuses himself to go grab another drink

Screaming “Don’t you touch my man!” at any girl who’s touching any man

Walking out of the bathroom with your dress tucked into your tights

Flying into a homicidal rage when the bartender gives you a full-calorie beer instead of a lite beer

“What’s annoying is that when you’re with a really hot guy, other girls have no qualms about coming up and hitting on him right in front of you,” she said. “Or girls will turn and blatantly stare at your boyfriend in the street. At certain times that can be a confidence boost, but it’s hard to deal with on a daily basis, especially when you don’t 100 percent trust the person you’re dating.” And this doesn’t just go for models, Millie says, but hot people in general. “When you have so many people throwing themselves at you, you’re spoiled for choice, so there’s less incentive to be faithful. Not to mention that people get away with so much more when they’re attractive.”

And that’s not just true of relationships; it’s true of life in general. It’s a widely documented psychological phenomenon that good-looking people are perceived by others as being better people overall—as being nicer, more intelligent, better at their jobs, and yes, better to date. And, according to economist Daniel S. Hamermesh, author of Beauty Pays: Why Attractive People Are More Successful, there are also many economic benefits to looking good, from higher wages at work to getting better deals on loans.

But according to Millie, all of this unearned praise and attention can present problems in relationships. “When you’re a model, or just extremely good-looking, people are constantly telling you that you’re beautiful, but those people usually want something from you,” she told me. “You’re surrounded by ingenuine people, and therefore lack the knowledge of how to form good, honest relationships.” Because of all the attention, she said, beautiful people often become obsessed with how other people perceive them, which can ultimately lead to a pronounced insecurity. “At one point I felt like I was dating a teenage girl,” she said. “The guy I was dating would endlessly post half-naked selfies, and then wait around to see how many people liked them. He just constantly needed validation.”

Personally, the people I’ve been most attracted to—not the superficial kind of attraction we feel to a pretty person on a page, but a deep, chemical attraction—have not been conventionally beautiful. The attraction felt almost indefinable, relying on everything from their looks and style to their mind and profession, to the smell of their skin and the sound of their voice. Deep attraction is, of course, a multisensory experience. But, as un-shallow as I have congratulated myself for being on many occasions, I will admit that there have been times when someone’s looks overwhelmed any need for a deeper compatibility.

Case in point: A couple years ago, I dated a writer whose work I really admired—he was kind and intelligent, we got along wonderfully, and the sex was good, too. However, he was bald and a little shorter than me, and ultimately just not that hot. It never bothered me when we were alone, but as things got more serious, I began to feel nervous about introducing him to my friends. I hated myself for having such superficial impulses, but I couldn’t help it: I want to be able to show my partners off to the world for both what they do and how they look. And I expect the same from my friends. In the past, when a friend has introduced me to a new partner who’s superhot, but clearly an idiot, I’ve judged them for it. On the other hand, whenever a girlfriend of mine starts dating a middling, out-of-shape guy, all I can think is: This isn’t feminism.

How to Attract Men: 11 Scientific Proven Ways to Attract Him

I get it: you’re frustrated because, while you really want to know how to attract men, the truth is that you do attract them…only they’re the guys you don’t want.

The Creepy Camerons…

The Needy Nicks…

The Lame Lewises…

You get the point. You probably have no problem attracting certain types of guys…but you’re here because the guys you do want might not be pursuing you.

It’s frustrating to be sure. But not to worry, you Sexy Confident Lady, because I’m here to give you tips on how to attract men…the ones you do want to attract!

Your Coach,

P.S. Flirting is a huge part of learning how to attract men. Get proven techniques that thousands of women have already successfully used in my Flirting Workshop.

Introduction to How to Attract Men

Learn how to attract men — the RIGHT men!

I’ve gotta say: the internet is full of a lot of crappy advice when it comes to teaching you ladies how to attract men. I’ve read articles telling women to wear revealing clothing…

To bat their eyelashes…

Basically, degrade themselves to make men find them attractive.

I’m here to tell you that’s bullsh#% advice. You don’t need to be some fake sexpot version of yourself to attract men.

In the past year, I’ve hired a researcher here at Sexy Confidence because I wanted to combine cold, hard scientific fact with my extensive experience as a dating coach — with a dash of basic common sense — to help you ladies attract love.

So let’s use that powerful mix of my experience, data, and common sense and find out how you can attract men.

#1. Kindness

Did you know that there’s one personality trait that is crazy important in a relationship? Yep. You guess it. It’s kindness.

In a research study put on by David M. Buss from the University of Texas at Austin, it was found that, worldwide, kindness was one of the traits most desired in a mate by both men and women. Here’s what the study said:

“Kindness is linked with a cooperative disposition, interest in long-term relationships, ability to form social alliances, and empathy in rearing children.”

So even if you aren’t looking for long-term or having kids with a guy, know that kindness can go a long way. How can you be kind and attract the right man?

  • Express interest in him.
  • Always treat him with respect.
  • Do small favors for him.

#2. Youthfulness

Being youthful isn’t about age, but attitude.

Now, before you women who are over 40 roll your eyes and skip this one, notice that I didn’t say youth. I said youthfulness.

The definition of youthfulness is: behavior or appearance characteristic of young people.

Most people think this has to do with age, but I think youthfulness has more to do with attitude.

I know some women who are 60 years old who are youthful: they love to be social, spontaneous, and exciting.

I know some women who are 22 years old who are old and lame, boring, and too serious. So as they say: age ain’t nothing but a number.

A lot of women assume men want younger women, but that’s not necessarily the case. (And if a guy you’re interested in only wants a younger woman, he’s not for you anyway. You need a man who looks to who you are, not how old you are.)

So…how can you exude youthfulness as you work on how to attract men?

  • Don’t follow societal rules about how you should “be” at any age.
  • Dress how you feel. Style your hair and makeup to make yourself happy.
  • Be authentic.

#3. Women With High Self-Worth, AKA High-Value Women

If you want to know how to attract men, know your worth and own it.

I think there’s a lot of confusion about what confidence in dating looks like. Confidence doesn’t mean you walk up to every guy you’re drawn to, you ask him out, and you initiate the first kiss. This is what I consider masculine confidence, and while there’s nothing wrong with it, I want you to work on creating feminine confidence. Sexy Confidence.

What does that look like? It means knowing that you deserve a relationship, and being proud of what you bring to the table.

A woman with high self-worth sets standards for herself. She doesn’t settle. If a man doesn’t meet your standards, wave him on and say, “NEXT!”

Here’s how to own your value and use it in your strategy on how to attract men:

  • Know what you’re looking for. If a man doesn’t meet your needs, let him go.
  • Never hide your personality.
  • Know that you’re the catch!

#4. Curves

If you’ve got curves, use them!

If you’ve got that classic hourglass shape (think Sophia Loren, Linda Carter, Marilyn Monroe), you’re in luck.

Up until now, we’ve focused on how to attract men through personality traits, but I would be doing you a disservice to not talk about that physical attraction as well. A woman’s figure obviously plays a large role in attraction. I’d be lying to you if I said it wasn’t.

That hourglass figure is one that men instinctively respond to positively.

Researchers have found that men are highly attracted to women with a waist-to-hip ratio of .7 — that’s the classic hourglass figure.

An eye-tracking study last year found that men start to evaluate a woman’s hourglass shape within the first 200 milliseconds of seeing them. So, yea, you could say that first impressions are important!

Certainly not every woman has an hourglass shape, and that’s OK. The important thing when it comes to being physically appealing to the opposite sex is being confident in what your body looks like. Here are a few other tips:

  • Wear clothing that accentuates your body’s assets.
  • Love your body. If you don’t, how can you expect someone else to?
  • Don’t obsess over your weight. There are men who love every single body type out there.

#5. Indicators of Interest

Researchers who study speed dating events — where men and women basically make decisions in mere minutes about whether they’re attracted to someone or not — found that simply showing interest can build attraction.

So if you want to express that you’re interested in a man, pay attention to him. Give him 100%. He’ll get excited and bring his A game. On the other hand, if you don’t really seem interested, he’s going to assume that’s the case, and he’ll move on.

Here’s how to let him know you’re interested without going overboard:

  • Listen when he talks.
  • Ask questions.
  • Find excuses to touch him.

#6. Positive Attitude

A positive attitude can be super attractive to men.

You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to get that a positive attitude is attractive. Clearly, being negative has never gotten you very far in life or love.

Men are attracted to pleasant, positive, and overall cheerful women. You’re probably attracted to men with those same characteristics. Am I right?

I can personally attest to this. I’ve gone out on many dates in my life, and it’s true: there are women who just talk badly about other people or who are otherwise negative. But when I met Jess, she was so remarkably different. She saw the world through these rose-colored lenses and was so positive about everything. Her personality was completely magnetic to me as a result.

Here’s some research that backs this up: in a study, men were given images of women of various body sizes. The control group received no information about each woman’s personality, while the other groups did. The group that received positive personality information found a wider range of body sizes as physically attractive, while participants who were given negative personality information perceived a narrower range of body sizes as attractive.

How can you let your positive attitude shine?

  • Resist sharing any negative thought that comes to mind. (Squelch it!)
  • Don’t talk about your ex. That’s a sure way to bring up some negative energy!
  • If he’s negative, change the subject.

#7. Honesty

It’s not like you needed another reason to be honest (you should be anyway, not just to attract a man), but research finds that people who are considered honest come off as more fit, healthy, and kind.

Now, I’ve gotta say: in the dating world, I have known a lot of men and women who lie. I really don’t understand why. If you’re hoping to build something with a guy, wouldn’t he find out your lie down the road anyway? Why not tell the truth from the start?

After all, honesty is sexy.

  • Know that the right guy can handle your truth.
  • If there’s something you’re uncomfortable talking about early on, let him know rather than lying.
  • Ask him to be honest with you in return.

#8. Smile

Smiling is an instant way to be more attractive.

This is one of the easiest ways to improve your appearance and succeed in how to attract men. It’s like an instant upgrade.

In a lot of my advanced dating courses, I talk about what I call smalking: smiling while talking. Some people have trouble with this (I used to), but it’s something you can practice any time you’re talking and you’ll get better at smalking.

It’s amazing how well men perceive you when you smile more. Smiling indicates happiness and ease. Here’s how to put more smiles in your dating game.

  • If you have trouble remembering to smile, set a mental reminder to smile whenever he’s talking and you’re listening.
  • Make a goal to smile at 10 people a day. This gets you in the habit!
  • Practice smalking, even if you’re on a work conference call.

#9. Playing with Your Hair

Way back when I used to coach men on how to meet you Sexy Single ladies, I told them to look for women who were playing with or combing their hair because it (consciously or subconsciously) communicated, “Hey, I’m interested in you.”

It’s something both sexes do, though men usually touch their faces when they’re interested. So pay attention the next time you’re flirting with a man to see if he rubs his five o’clock shadow. If he does, you’re successful in learning how to attract men!

  • Don’t go overboard. A little hair play goes a long way.
  • Wear your hair down so you can twirl it.
  • Another good strategy is to flip it over your shoulder and then look at him with a flirty smile.

#10. Your Energy and Vibe

Giving off good vibes makes you more appealing to men.

Have you ever met someone and within three seconds of meeting them, you thought, “Yikes, I’m not interested.”

But then with other people, you meet them and immediately think, “Wow, I like this person. He’s great.”

What that comes down to is your body language. Your vibe. The energy you bring to the table. When you’re energetic and charismatic, you can’t help but draw people to you (men and women alike; energy isn’t about sexuality.).

  • The next time you go out, pay attention to other people’s vibes to see what draws people to them. Take notes!
  • If it comes naturally, be the life of the party.
  • Own the room. If you exude confidence, you’ll attract men.

#11. Your Brain

Last but not least on the list of how to attract men: your most appealing asset: your brain!

Let me tell you something I learned a long time ago. Smart, confident guys are attracted to smart, confident women.

On the other hand, dumb, insecure men are intimidated by smart women.

Sadly, most men you’ll meet are going to be dumb and insecure. It’s become epidemic! Smart women aren’t able to find intelligent men to impregnate them in Europe, according to the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology conference in Geneva, so they’re freezing their eggs until men of suitable intelligence show up.

But I don’t want you to change your ways to suit the men you meet. Don’t dumb yourself down. If you’re talking to a man who, well, couldn’t take you in a Words With Friends game, be humble. Don’t brag about your intelligence. Don’t belittle him or anyone else…but at the same time, don’t be afraid to show your intellectual side. The right man will be thrilled by your brain.


When it comes to how to attract men, there are clearly a lot of paths to success. Choose the strategies above that you’re most comfortable with. Above all, your approach should be natural, not forced.

Attracting men is just the first step. From there, you’ve got to weed out the winners and figure out who you’re most interested in pursuing something with. But that initial flirting and attraction will lay the foundation for a potential relationship, so put in the work now for reward later!

Let’s start a conversation in the comments. What strategies have you found most successful in attracting men?

How to attract men? Step up your flirting game. The Flirting Workshop is designed to help you captivate the attention of any man in the room. Sign up today!

How to Get A Guy’s Attention in 5 Simple Steps

You’ve noticed a guy

He very much has your attention.

And now you want to get his.

Maybe, he’s a guy you work with or see regularly on the train.

Perhaps, he’s a friend of a friend or a man you often see at the bar.

Or maybe it isn’t even any particular guy, but you’re sick and tired of getting approached by only the creepiest guys in the club, and for once, would like to get the attention of the hot guy you’d actually be interested in meeting.

Whatever your circumstances, the bottom line is, you’re not getting the proper (romantic) attention of the guy (or guys) you want it from. And you’re tired of it.

It’s an incredibly frustrating and disempowering experience having a guy around that you’re interested in and, yet, who’s attention you are seemingly unable to attract. This is especially so, if it’s happening every day, and you’re potentially putting off other guys on the ‘hope’ that, one day, you’ll come up on his radar.

“When you catch a fleeting glance with a guy then look away, most guys will either assume A) You were bored, B) You were looking for your boyfriend, or C) There is something wrong with his shirt”

The good news is, this particular area is one of the most personally fulfilling and empowering to master. Though it takes some time and effort, when you finally succeed, it literally gives you the freedom and power to meet any guy you want at any time. The confidence you gain from achieving these skills are far reaching. It pumps your self-esteem through the roof and naturally attracts high-quality guys into your life. In fact, this topic is so important that I make it the focus of my first live workshop with any new client. We literally head out live into venues and practice the skills I’m about to discuss.

So, here’s the 5 simple, but powerful, tools at your disposal that you can use right now to get the attention of the guys you want.

1. Get him to notice your general presence

Getting his attention starts with him realizing you exist. If he hasn’t done that, there’s not much point, yet, that you read the rest of the article. How you dress, and more importantly, how you talk and interact with others are going to play a massive part as to whether or not you even come up on his radar. If the guy whose attention you’re interested in doesn’t know you exist, stay tuned. I’m currently writing and article “How to get a guy to notice you” to be published in the next few weeks.

2. Use those eyes

They are your single best weapon for meeting men, the greatest flirting tool you have in your entire showing-him-you’re-interested arsenal.

And yet, for what they are, so few women know how to use them.

You can communicate more core emotion with your eyes than you ever can speaking. Men shudder at the thought of a scolding glare from a women and dream every day of the look she gives when she wants him to take her. Your eyes can communicate love through hate and everything in between. But for the purposes of today, you just want to learn to communicate one thing

“I’m interested. Come over here.”

Few women know how to actually do this. For most, using their eyes means catching a fleeting bit of eye contact with him and then wondering why he hasn’t come over… and assuming it was because he just wasn’t interested (hint: rarely true).

What these women are failing to understand is this.

Men are stupid.

Actually, that’s not quite true. Stupid might be the wrong word. ‘Blissfully oblivious and unaware’ might be more accurate when it comes to reading women’s signals.

When you catch a fleeting glance with a guy and then look away, most guys will either assume.

A) You were bored

B) You were looking for your boyfriend, or;

C) There is something wrong with his shirt

I’m not joking ladies.“That woman wants me to come over” is about 18th on his list of possible reasons as to why you looked at him.

Not only that, approaching for a guy is really scary. It’s important to understand this, because it will raise your awareness of just how obvious you have to make your invitation signals to get him to overcome his fear. Most guys (without alcohol) won’t even approach a girl in a nightclub, where it is socially acceptable, let alone a gym, a supermarket, or on the street.

Men have been programmed, neurologically, for thousands of years to fear approaching women. To hesitate frequently and pick our times. For hundreds of generations, entire communities consisted of small tribes, containing less than 100 people, and that meant less than 10 women as healthy young single options for a man’s entire life. As such, men learned to pick their moments, because one wrong move, and all 10 women in that tribe could find out what a douche he was, and he’d be out of luck for life.

You want to learn to communicate one thing. “I’m interested. Come over here.”

For this reason, tell almost any sober guy to approach a girl he doesn’t know (especially, if she’s with her friends), and he’ll freezeup, get scared, and refuse. I’ve seen numerous male strippers literally baulk at the idea of approaching a girl in the shops on an average day. And they’re strippers! How do you think it is for the average guy?

Thus, for most men, eye contact has to be far more obvious than you probably ever realised. When I coach eye contact with women, they often feel ‘uncomfortable’ when I get them to hold it for as long as it takes to get through to the guy. But this is exactly the kind of eye contact that gets you noticed! 3-4 seconds of rock solid eye contact (this is a really long time; try staring into a friend’s eyes for 3-4 seconds!) on a guy that is walking and a full 2-3 seconds on a guy standing still is a good number. This process often has to be repeated again 5 minutes later, because as I mentioned, men are stupid and rarely get the memo the first time. Hopefully, once you’ve repeated yourself, the thought of, “Oh, hey, I think that girl wants me to come over???!” eventually, enters his head.

3. Smile

In addition to eye contact, a close runner up in importance in getting a guy’s attention is your smile. Remember, guys naturally fear the approach. It’s bred into us. But the more we feel you want us to approach and the more we feel we aren’t going to get rejected cold on our asses, the more likely we are to actually do it.

A smile to a guy is an invitation. A green light. It says, “If you come over here and have the balls to at least try your luck, I’m not going to blow you out cold for every one to see.” Eye contact, on its own, can come off cold and even threatening. But long eye contact with a nice smile is the perfect inviting signal to make it really easy for a guy to get over his in-born hesitancies and come say hi.

Not only that, but smiling at strangers in social settings is, generally, just a good habit. Especially when you’re in an environment where you can or should potentially meet everyone (a wedding, work networking event, seminar, etc..), a smile is what makes you warm for people to approach and make friends. You’ll be the person who’s out there, introducing people and talking to everyone. And of course, if you’re meeting everyone, meeting the hottest guy there happens all too naturally!

4. Have a fun vibe to you that exudes positive energy

There’s nothing sexier than a girl who’s in her own world and loving it, without the need for anyone else to validate her fun. Two girls could dress the same, look the same, and both have their eye contact and smiles down-pat, but if one is overly concerned with how other people perceive her and getting guys’ attention, while the other is just having a blast, dancing around, maybe having a banter with the guys, then running off to have fun with the girls, she’s going to be the one who gets the guys’ attention. Every. Single. Time.

When a girl is in her own world, having this kind of fun, but then is able to stack a great smile and eye contact on top, she’ll turn the heads of every guy in the room. She won’t need guys’ attention; she can be herself, enjoy meeting people she doesn’t know, banter with everyone, and be sexual/playful with the guys. This all communicates incredible levels of confidence that guys will swoon for.

5. Touch

Finally, being touchy (not just with him, but with everyone you meet!) will seal the deal when it comes to getting attention.

Touching is an innocent, but extremely, effective way to show affection and build rapport. Of course, you can also break rapport with touching (you don’t want to end up the creeper, who’s weirdly all over the guy). So as with all things, touching has to be managed in a ‘normal’, not overbearing way. Playfully punching him when he says something dumb or makes fun of you, hugging everyone around, or having a close dance with lots of different people are great examples of socially acceptable ways to touch people.

If you’re worried or unsure, the easiest way to make sure your touch isn’t weird is to make sure it’s based on something fun or exciting. Anytime the conversation spikes up, someone new comes in, a fun song comes on, or a guy teases you is a point where some form of playful touch is appropriate.

“Knowing how to get a guy’s attention literally gives you the power to meet any guy you want at any time.”

In conclusion, remember, there’s a hell of a lot more to getting attention than physical looks. Your eye contact, your smile, your energy in the room, and how you touch people will all determine the attention you get and how attractive you appear to the guy you want. Get just ONE of these down, and guys will notice you. Get 2-3 of them sorted, and you can guarantee you’ll be getting attention from guys all night. All 5? Congratulations. You now have the power to get the attention of any man you desire. Use it wisely.

Let’s face it, men can be hard to read. It’s important to avoid playing mind games, but if there’s a guy you’re eyeing, there are ways catch his attention.

My smiling side eye says I am interested.

Here are some tips and tricks from relationship and matchmaking experts that can help you get a man to focus his attention on you.

1. Smile


“Go to places that make you happy, where men happen to be,” advises Tina Tessina, Ph.D., author of “How to Be Happy Partners: Working it out Together”. A man is going to notice a woman who is having a good time and relaxing.

2. Don’t hide in the corner

Stay away from hiding yourself in the corner, with furniture or plants. It’s important to find something useful to do wherever you are (whether it’s chiming in on a group conversation or deftly maneuvering your way to the bar) because guys will notice you’re being active, and not trying to play hide and seek.

3. Ask for his help

As 1950s as this sounds, men really like being helpful. Open up about a challenging situation at work or ask him for an app recommendation. “Think of whatever you can ask him that makes him thinks he’s smart — other than his stomach, through helpfulness is the best way to get to him,” said Tessina.

REALTED: 4 signs that a man’s ready for marriage — and 4 that he’s not

4. Talk about your hobbies

Talk about little things you do, like keeping fresh flowers at home, doing yoga, reading a book every week, or getting a good night’s sleep, said Emily Holmes Hahn, founder of LastFirst bespoke matchmaking club. They might seem insignificant, but any sign of a “centered and balanced lifestyle” is encouraging, she said.

5. Don’t dress for your girlfriends

Trending stories,celebrity news and all the best of TODAY. TODAY

Guys don’t understand fashion trends, so save your off-the-shoulder, ruffled crop top for a girl’s night. The best way to catch a man’s eye is to wear something timeless — a classic outfit that is comfortable and you know works for you.

6. Look him in the eye

Both Tessina and Hahn recommend some classic, direct eye contact. (But don’t stare them down, either.) Some friendly eye to eye will let him know you’re interested, so don’t be afraid to eye-flirt across the room!

Close-talking and other body language errors to avoid

July 7, 201604:27

7. Avoid the obvious

“Don’t name drop!” cautioned Hahn. If a man compliments something you’re wearing, you shouldn’t name drop the brand, because you might come off as materialistic. “You should say you’re happy they noticed and quickly transition into another conversation,” she said.

The same goes for food and drink locations; even if you go to the coolest bars and restaurants, you should talk about more under the radar spots. You’ll have a more interesting chat by being quirky, as opposed to appearing to know it all.

RELATED: Ideal to real: What the ‘perfect’ body really looks like for men and women

8. Go out alone or with one other friend

Tessina advises against surrounding yourself with a “gaggle of girls” when going out. You’ll be hard to single out if you’re in a group.

If you do go out in a group, try to stand out from the crowd or find a way to get by yourself for a bit.

Make it clear you have something appealing about you by commenting on the conversation the guy you have your eye on is having; show off your brains and personality, not just your looks. “We have such a hard focus on looks right now that it’s refreshing to see a woman who is as fun as she is interesting and intriguing,” said Tessina.

9. Say thank you


It turns out men actually get annoyed when women don’t say thank you, according to Lori Zaslow and Jenn Zucher, founders of the matchmaking company Project Soulmate. “Even the most confident guy needs a thank you,” said Zucher. You don’t even have to say it in person — grab his number and text it after he buys you a drink. “Something about seeing it in writing feels better, and it’s such an easy way to appreciate somebody.”

RELATED: Want to make a good impression on a first date? Avoid these 6 mistakes

10. Stay off your phone

It’s a small world, and while your head is down Instagraming your oysters, you could be meeting someone that’s right next to you. Even if you’re in the elevator, make an effort to not look at your phone and see who is around. It’s refreshing for a guy to see a woman that’s not glued to Snapchat or taking a selfie.

11. Bring your interests to the bar


Bring a book to read at the bar. Guys are looking for a reason to come up to you, said Emma Tessler, founder of the matchmaking company The Dating Ring, so give him a unique one. If reading’s not your thing, bring a sketchbook, journal or whatever hobby you have that you can take to-go.

RELATED: 17 things you never knew about locking lips

12. Wear funky jewelry

Men will want to approach you with a comment or question, so if you’re wearing something eye catching and shiny, he’ll be able to use that as a conversation opener. Wear your biggest ring or most interesting earrings and hit two birds with one stone by having a cute accessory for your outfit and drawing someone in for a conversation.

Finally, be yourself. There’s no point in trying to be someone you’re not!

The secret to finding love? Wear your heart on your sleeve, study says

April 6, 201600:58

If you like a guy, but you don’t know how to attract him, our article is for you. We’ve gathered 12 female attributes which men find irresistible.

#1 Someone Who Smiles

If he sees that you are too serious or sad, it makes him think that you are a drama queen, and guys are not into that at all. Your shining smile tells everyone that you are happy and beautiful. Guys see that the positive energy you spread can also influence their lives.

#2 A Girl Who Laughs

Laughing with him demonstrates a lot of things. If you laugh honestly, it shows that you are not afraid to express your feelings. It also indicates that you have a sense of humor, and it is one of the most important factors that make you stand out in a crowd.


#3 Intelligence

If he is looking for a girlfriend, it is important for you to have not only long legs, but to also be intelligent. If all you have is your appearance, a guy will treat you as a girl to have sex with, but not as a girl he would like to spend all his free time with.

READ MORE: Which of these couples is the happiest? Your choice can tell you secret about your own relationship!

#4 Natural Beauty

The absence of make-up shows him your confidence. You are who you are and you are honest with other people. If you feel yourself beautiful without layers of cosmetics, your natural beauty will make him fall in love with you.


#5 Honesty

Well, it’s no surprise that men have difficulties in understanding emotions and feelings. He will appreciate it if you tell him what you are thinking about and what you feel when you are together.

#6 Confidence

We talked about it before, but I should emphasize again how much your inner power can influence your life. If you feel confident, there are no boundaries for you. You can walk the street in pajamas, and all that men will see is that you are the hottest girl in the world.


#7 Having Your Own Voice

If he wants to consider you his girlfriend, it is essential for him to be interested in your opinion. Even though you should support him in his life and career, you should tell him when he is wrong. Not to show that you are smarter, but to save your guy from possible problems.

#8 Self-Reliance

It is an essential thing for every man to protect you from danger. All you should do is accept his help. But be careful! Don’t confuse the desire to be protected with being clingy. The second one will make him run away from you.


READ MORE: If you have at least 5 of these 7 signs in your relationship your husband is happy in marriage

#9 Your Attitude

You should understand that he notices not only how you treat him, but also how you behave with other people. There is nothing more attractive for men than kindness and politeness.

#10 Your Scent

It is important for every woman to carefully choose her own perfume, as it helps to show your personality without saying a word. But be careful with the quantity of perfume you use.

#11 Self-Driven

Successful women are attractive because of their dynamic mind and desire to succeed. They are brave enough to do whatever they want. Also, such women are so good at reaching their goals, that this makes them more attractive as a partner.

#12 Femininity

Some women give up their femininity, because it looks like weakness to them. Don’t be afraid to show everyone who you are. You are not a brainless doll. Be proud of your gender!


READ MORE: This 2 types of women men love the most

We at BetterMe want everyone to know and experience true love. It is out there for everyone and until it knocks on your door we are here to remind you that you deserve the best love!

You can help us spread this love by sharing this with those around you and letting us know what you think in the comments below.

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Have you had your eye on a guy for a while but feel like he doesn’t even know you exist or hasn’t noticed you like the way you have noticed him? Don’t worry; I have listed 34 tips to help you get him to notice you.

You’re not the only woman who has longed after a man who doesn’t seem to be reciprocating. Many years ago in college, I remember this one man that I just dreamt of almost every night. I would play these strange scenarios in my mind of us going on a date or moving in together… yes I’m a hopeless romantic. I did up end dating this guy although it took me some effort to get his attention and notice me for the sexual diva that I am.

I’m going to give all the tips that I used to grab his attention as well as some tips from friends so that you can get the man you have been longing for too.

Love Yourself

One of the first you need to focus on and learn is how to love yourself. This doesn’t mean you should be kissing your reflection in the mirror though. I mean to love who you are as a person; the way you look, your hobbies, your interests and everything else.

If you learn to love yourself then you are naturally going to carry yourself very well. You will walk into rooms and parties with your head held high and with a bright smile on your face. What man isn’t going to notice that?

Think of the classic and very cheesy Bond Girl moment when she slo-mo walks out of the sea flipping her hair. While you can’t exactly strut out of the sea at the office or in the club, you can still walk with confidence and giving off an air of sexuality. It’s time to practice your Bond Girl walk in the bedroom.

Love Your Looks

We all don’t like something about our looks whether it is out small boobs, big boobs, big bum or knobbly knees. The trick is to not let that one thing or two things you don’t like about your looks take over. Instead, focus on three things you like about your looks and dress to emphasize those areas.

I hate the fact that I have no bust and I remember even going to a consultation years ago to get a boob job. I’m so glad now that I never. In contrast to that, I have always liked my butt and have always worn skirts or pants that will accentuate this feature that I like about myself. I don’t do this so that men will gawp at me though; I do it so that I feel good about myself and attractive. It is because I feel good about myself that has always attracted the attention of men.

Have Fun

A guy will certainly notice of you if you look like you’re having a lot of fun. Think of it this way, would you be attracted to a man who is sitting in the corner looking like there is a dark cloud hanging above the or would you be attracted to a man who is joking with his friends and laughing? Nobody wants to be with someone who inflicts misery so show you are having fun.

This doesn’t mean that you should start dancing on the tables in the office though. It may be hard to show that you are having fun at work or during an exam but even just smiling can show that you are a fun person who doesn’t take life so seriously.

Don’t Be An Attention Seeker

Some women can try too hard to get the attention of the man they have been longing for and end up turning into attention seeking which the man will clearly see. He may now notice but it will be for all the wrong reasons.

To avoid looking desperate or an attention seeker, don’t start deliberately walking past him over and over again or chatting so loud close to him so he can hear all of the dates you have been on recently. While it is ok to catch his eye and flash a little smile and quickly return to the conversation you were having with your friends, it’s never a good thing to stare at him until he looks at you and even more not a good thing if you wink at him.

Walk Close By

I mentioned that walking past him over and over again will give off the impression that you are desperate and seeking his attention. However that doesn’t mean that you can’t do it once though. Make sure when you are waking past him though that you are doing so for a purpose. It could be to the office kitchen to make coffee or to the bar in the club to get a drink. It could be very awkward of you just walk past him, turn around and come back again as if you were on a catwalk.

When you do walk past him, makes sure to stand up straight with you head held high and release the inner Bond Girl in you. What will make this even better is if you are walking towards a friend because then you can have a lovely big smile on your face which he is sure to notice your radiant self.

Make Eye Contact

I spoke before about catching his eye and staring. It is important that when catching the eye of a guy you fancy that you hold it for the right amount of time. If you hold it for too long, it could become creepy. If you hold it for too short then he may not notice the signal.

The right amount of time will depend on how comfortable you are doing it but I would say to catch his eye and hold for just 2 to 4 seconds. You don’t want to look too eager but just enough so that he knows you are open to conversation if he is interested. If you feel there is a spark then you can even flash a quick smile in his direction.

Make A Good First Impression

While many people say they never judge a person before knowing them, we simply can’t help it sometimes. This is why first impressions actually do count. Making a first impression will only happen once so make sure it is a good one. If after you have caught a guy’s eye and he comes up to you start a conversation, make sure to smile and be friendly and flirty. At this point, you do not want to come on too strong as you just want to show him that you are a fun person to talk to. Keep the conversation light and fun and try to avoid any negativity. You don’t want to start complaining about the bar service or your manager at work as it might give the impression that you ‘nag’. This is a trait that will put men off.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He’s Cheating On You

Have Flirtatious Body Language

Sometimes the best way to get a guy to notice you is by having a flirtatious body language. Simple things like flicking your hair or touching your neck can be a sign of flirtatious body language. If you are standing with a group of friends in a bar then stand tall and confident. Don’t constantly fidget with your dress or jewellery as this can be seen as nervous body language. Men are more likely to notice the Bond Girl who is confident and oozes sexuality than the girl with her head down fidgeting with her dress.

If you’re not sure what to do with your hands and are feeling nervous, that is when fidgeting happens, get a drink from the bar to hold to keep yourself from fidgeting. This is a quick fix though; you will need to work on your confidence and flirtatious body language.

Get Your Flirt On

Once you feel there is a bit of a spark then you can go ahead and start flirting a little. Again you don’t want to come on too strong but a little flirt never hurt anyone. Don’t start throwing yourself all over him, simple things lick licking your lips or twirling your hair are subtle signs of flirting.

At this point, you want to keep things light and fun which a little flirting and teasing will help with. Taking the flirting too far at this point can become desperate or too strong too soon. Instead of coming right out with it and telling him you think he is hot, lower your voice a little so that he has to lean into you slightly.

Be A Positive Person

Positivity is infectious and so when a guy sees a woman who is always positive and always smiling, it will be someone he will want to be around. As I said before, nobody wants to be around someone who is always complaining and grumpy; it’s not the most attractive quality to have.

Being positive will not only get him to notice you but it will also help to improve your lifestyle. Positivity can help you achieve those career goals, help you lose the lingering bit of weight and help you take more care of yourself. Being positive really is a win-win.

If the guy complains about something or talks about something that is sad or serious then by all means, follow the conversation but it is something that I would recommend you avoid initiating.

Be An Interesting Person

Interesting people will always attract the attention of others as we all have a natural urge to want to know more about them. You can show him how interesting you are by bringing up something you seen in the news and showing him your sense of humour by teasing him about something and taking a joke yourself. You may also have an unusual hobby that will be interesting to him. One of my friends is a black belt in martial arts and is a great talking point for her when meeting guys.

Another trait that can be interesting is to be playful. If you are playful and spontaneous then he will never know what you are going to do next which will interest him. There was one girl I remember working with who had an amazing sense of humour and was very playful. All the guys could connect with her because she was playful, could joke about herself and give as much as she gets.

Show Him What Makes You Special

Just as showing how interesting you are, it is also important to show how special you are. While it may be great that he notices you, men can notice a lot of women and so you need to stand out from the rest. You can do this by mentioning some crazy experience you have done in the past, how you spend your free time volunteering or anything else that makes you special.

If he guy you have your eye on is in your work then you can show him special you are by doing amazing in your job. If a guy sees that you have ambition and independency, he will be sure to take notice. If the guy you have your eye on is in your college then perhaps organise a group or party and invite him along.

Find Something In Common

A great way to get a guy to notice you is to find some sort of common ground. This could be liking the same band, supporting the same football team or watching the same TV series. If you hear the guy you’re interested in talking about a TV series you have also been watching then it is the perfect time to get involved in a conversation with him. You could tell him that you are on the same episode too and predict what you will think happen next.

Sometimes the scariest thing for a guy is what they are going to say to you first so even if they have already noticed you, they may not have started a conversation because of this. You can take away that fear by initiating the conversation by finding common ground. You will also be able to tell whether he is interested in you by talking to him.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He’s Cheating On You

Get Him To Ask You Out

If after you have found common ground and you believe that he may be interested in you then why not get him to ask you out. You can do this by casually bringing up that the band you both like are on at the local area at the weekend or that a new sushi restaurant has opened up if you know he likes sushi.

You don’t have to wait for a band to play or a new restaurant to open to get him to ask you out though. You can get him to ask you out by saying you really want to do something this weekend but not sure what. While this may not be as subtle as mentioned a band playing, it is still a good move to make.

Dress Sexy

There is no better way to get a guy to notice you than to dress sexy. If the guy you want to notice you is in work then obviously you can’t rock up in a mini bodycon dress, but you can still wear something that you know looks cute on you and accentuates your best features such as a pencil skirt or peplum skirt. Trying to get a guy to notice you while wearing a baggy cardigan is never going to work.

If you know that he will be at the same bar as you tonight then it is time to put on the sexiest dress you have in your wardrobe. Showing how sexy you are from what you are wearing to how confident you are will be sure to grab his attention in all the right ways.

Pretend To Be Occupied

A great way to grab a guy’s attention is to pretend you are occupied with something else. For example, if you can ‘feel’ his eyes on you then instead of turning to look at him, pretend to carry on working or choosing from the menu while twirling your hair around your finger or touching your lip. This will give the guy plenty of chance to check you out without. If you look up at him then he might turn away and you will have ruined the chance to get him to truly notice you and take all your beauty in. Ig he likes what he sees the he will be sure to come over and start conversation with you.

Show Him Your Best Side

While it seems shallow to get a guy’s attention by highlighting your assets; your legs, your breasts, your bum etc., everyone needs that initial attraction which then you can find out more about each other as the relationship develops. Whatever you like best about yourself, be sure to highlight that feature if you know he will be at the bar you’re going to tonight, at work or at a college party.

Showcasing your best assets will make you feel confident and sexy and so not only will you grab his attention but you will also feel great about yourself it truly is a win win. Plus, it is the perfect time to hit the shops… like we need an excuse anyway.

Indulge In Guy Activity

This is really only one that should be used if you genuinely have an interest in some guy things such as football, beer and anything else they love to do. While I’m not necessarily into football as such, I do support my local team. Before I was married I would go to the sports bar and support my local team when I knew there was a big game on. If I got a guy’s attention, I wouldn’t pretend that I was a diehard football fan though, I was there for the fun and to be a part of the community.

Sometimes the best way to get a guy’s attention is to be somewhere that not many other women will be such as the sports bar. The odds will be in your favour if the ration of men to women is greater by quite some distance.

Smell Amazing

If you smell good then a guy is going to notice. If you walk past him at work, college, party or at a bar and you have your best perfume on then it will grab his attention. If you are sitting next to him in class or at work and your hair smells gorgeous then he will also notice that too. The point is, to always smell your best whether it is with perfume, body wash, shampoo or body lotion.

It doesn’t even have to be perfume; if you smell yummy then it will be another way to get him to notice you. For example, you might bake a batch of cookies before heading to the local neighbourhood event. He will be sure to notice this yummy smell that surrounds you. We all know the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach so it makes sense to smell yummy.

Be Kind

The worst thing you can do is try and be cool at work or college and be bitch about your colleagues or classmates and try to be the Queen B. We’ve all seen Mean Girls and seen how being Queen B turned out. You will certainly get a guy’s attention but it won’t be the right attention.

In order to get his attention in all the right ways, you will need to remain kind. There is nothing better than someone who is kind and caring. It is a quality that you yourself would look for in a guy so why would you believe that he wouldn’t want you to be kind and caring.

Be In The Right Place At The Right Time

He won’t be able to notice you if he can’t see you. For him to see you, you’re going to have to try and find out where he hangs out and where he spends his spare time. This is actually easier then you may initially think if you work or go to college with him. For example, you might hear him always talking about going to the gym after work or overhear him talking about his night out. You can then use this to ‘bump’ into him at the gym or gather your girlfriends and suggest a night out and ‘bump’ into him at the bar you heard him talking about. If you notice that he is lingering around you then he has definitely noticed you and is interested.

Find An Excuse To Strike Up Conversation

If all other subtle tips to get his attention haven’t worked then you can always try and strike up a conversation with him. If you work with him and you hear him talking about something you like to do too then join in the conversation and ask him a question. If you go to college with him are you’re both in the same class then ask what he thought about the topic the teacher brought up. If you see a guy at a busy bar then you could if he could help you get the bar attendants attention. Some men don’t like to be the first to make a move so save them the worry and do it for them.

Stop Playing Hard To Get

If you’re interested in a guy and want to get him to notice you then there is no point in playing hard to get. This could actually be seen as high maintenance and might put him off. Even though he has noticed you, it probably won’t be in the same way that you want him to. If he plucks up the courage to come over and ask whether you’ll be going to the office party or college party then don’t start playing hard to get, just give him a simple answer… yes or no. If it is no then be honest and tell him why. This will make him feel that it isn’t because of him that you’ve said no and won’t feel any fear to ask you again the next time.

Be Attentive

If you have grabbed his attention and are now talking to him, don’t ruin it at this point by not being attentive. We all love having our mobile phone glued to our hands but whatever you do, don’t start texting or checking your social media while talking to him. Show him that you are fully engrossed in the conversation by asking questions and actually listening. You wouldn’t like it if he was fiddling with his phone while you’re having a conversation with him; it would probably put you off him, wouldn’t it? If you wouldn’t like it then don’t do it to him.

Try Something New

Sometimes to get the man you want, you have to step out of your comfort zone and try something new. For example, if you like a guy at work and know that he likes to spend his weekends fishing then why not try it yourself. It would give you the perfect chance to strike a conversation with him about something you know he enjoys doing. Don’t make out that you have been doing it for years and it is a hobby of yours. You could say that a friend took you fishing for the first time and tell him how you caught a big fish or how you fell in the water. Striking up conversation about something he enjoys is a great way to get him to notice you.

Let Your Guard Down

I’m sorry if you have ever been hurt in the past in relationships but you mustn’t let this stop you from finding a good man. A lot of women who have been cheated on in the past will naturally have their guard up and will see all men as the same. Not all men are the same though, there are good men out there who will care and love you like you deserve. In order to find those men though, you need to let your guard down and remain non-judgemental. If you don’t treat all men as bad guys then you will naturally be kinder towards them meaning the right type of guy will notice your kindness.

Stop Texting

If you’ve been texting a guy but nothing ever really came of it then try stop texting. Sometimes the best way to get a guy’s attention is to switch up your usual habits. Because you have been texting him, he will probably always expect a return text or a text asking how his night was. If you don’t get back to him for a while and stop initiating text conversation, he will be sure to notice the change. This can be the same for phone calls, emails and other forms of contact you have with him. Be careful though that you don’t make him feel that you’re not interested anymore.

Don’t Give Out Too Much Information

If you’re sitting around the lunch table at work and the conversation starts up about families and the guy you’re interested in is within hearing distance then tread carefully. You don’t want to frighten him by talking about how you would want to be married a year after meeting someone and would want kids straight after marriage. For your own benefit, you shouldn’t ever have a timeline for family planning as life is for living not planning. Just make a joke about you just looking for a date first never mind marriage and kids. If the guy is hearing, it will notice that you are someone that wouldn’t add pressure on him.

Keep Him Wanting More

If you get a guy’s attention and he has come over from the bar to talk to you, at this point a little flirting and acting coy is a great idea. What’s not a good idea is to full on make out with him or even sleep him the same night. You want to leave him wanting more so if you give him everything as soon as he notices you, it might make him not want to come back. He will be more interested if you remain sexy while flirting and having fun.

Wear Team Apparel

We all know how men love their sports and so the best way get him to notice you is to head to the sports bar wearing your team’s colors. If you’re celebrating and booing alongside other men, they will be sure to notice and one will be sure to come over and start talking to you. To increase the chances of this happening, het a group of girlfriends together and when getting into the sports bar, look for a group of guys that are wearing the same team apparel as you and go and sit next to them or close by. You will be sure to end up cheering together.

Answer Questions In Class

If there is one way to get a guy to notice you is to answer questions in your college class. You will be grabbing the attention of the whole room while looking great and showcasing your intelligence. Brains and beauty is a powerful thing which is why answering questions in class is a great way to grab his attention. He may even ask you for an opinion or your advice after class. When you do answer questions though, don’t act smug or overly confident as this can put him off.

Start A Study Group

One way to create an excuse to talk to the guy you are interested in is to start a study group. Ask a few people from your class if they would like to start a study group and then when you’ve got it set up, you can ask him to join too. The other option is to ask him first if he would like to start a study group with you so that you can have a project to work on together. Either way, it is a great way to start a conversation with him.

Be His Damsel In Distress

Men love to help a damsel in distress so playing he damsel role is a great way to get him to notice you. This could be something as small as asking him to reach the coffee on the top shelf if you’re at the office or asking him if he’ll help carry your heavy books to class. Giving him the opportunity to ‘rescue’ you will be a sure way to get him to notice you.

Flip Your Hair

This may sound like a bit of a silly one but it definitely works to get him to notice you. When you know that he is looking your way then gently flip your hair to show your neck and release your inner model. For some reason, unknown to me, this single and very simple action can drive a man crazy. Practice your seductive hair flipping techniques and get flipping at the office, college or at the bar.

Be Wary Of…

While I have spoken a lot about how you can get a guy to notice you, I want to give you a quick lowdown on what not to do. There is no point in getting a guy to notice you if is not in the right way. You want him to not only notice you but to notice you in all the right ways. Here are a few things you need to be wary of when trying to attract his attention:

1. Don’t change who you are to get his attention as it will come back to bite you on the bum.

2. Don’t become desperate for attention as this might get his attention but for all the wrong reasons.

3. Don’t try to be a ‘guy’ when you’re not interested in football, beer or anything else that are guys love to do.

4. Don’t let him be the centre of your life. If you’ve done everything to get him to notice you but he still hasn’t… it’s time to walk away.

5. Never let a guy come between you and your girlfriends. If you’re out with the girls then give them your attention and not keep ignoring them to try and catch the eye of a guy.

Some Tips To Take Away With You…

I hope you have enjoyed this blog post and will use some of the tips I have mentioned to get a guy to notice you. It doesn’t matter whether you are at work, college or on a night out, these tips will help you get a man. Not only that, you’ll soon be batting them off you. Here are a few key tips to remember though:

6. Look cute while twirling your hair when you know he is looking at you.

7. If it is someone you work with or go to college with then make small talk every now and again.

8. Make him curious and leave him wanting to know more about you.

9. Take a risk and just ask him out.

10. Be confident and sexy when standing, walking or talking.

11. Make the first move by initiating casual conversation.

12. Don’t try too hard so that you look desperate or attention seeking.

13. Be laid back and fun, not serious and boring.

14. Be helpful by picking up his schoolbooks or files if he drops them.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He’s Cheating On You

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Getting a guy can be scary and intimidating. How do you know what to say? What do you wear and how should you act? Is there a magic formula out there to help you get any guy you want? Not necessarily. But there are plenty of tips that can help you to get a guy’s attention.

How do you get a guy to notice you? Below are a series of tips on how to help make that happen. The first one is confidence and that will be the key to everything. Without confidence, you will have a hard time doing anything to get his attention.

How To Get A Guy’s Attention

Be Confident

If you want to get a guy’s attention, then confidence is key. Whether you are a social butterfly or a fly on the wall, you need to be able to feel comfortable in your own skin. Having confidence in yourself can help make a guy take notice in you.

What is something that makes you feel confident? From an outfit that you love to a perfume that makes you feel special, there are many things that can help you feel confident about yourself.

It is also not all about looks. Inner confidence matters even more. If you love yourself, then good things will come. If you can believe in yourself, then your confidence will increase as a result.

You might have something that you are good at or that you know a lot about. Being good at something can give you a lot of confidence. That confidence will shine through for others to see.

When it comes to getting a guy’s attention, being insecure will not do you any favors. And if you do not like or feel confident about yourself, then how can you expect someone else to like you?

To work on your confidence, you can also look in the mirror and think about the qualities you have that you love. They can be physical qualities or they can be things about your personality or things that you are good at. This is especially good to try if you want to improve your self-esteem.

Another way to show your confidence is by approaching the guy you like instead of waiting for him to come to you. In short, if you believe in yourself, then you will have the confidence to feel beautiful and to put yourself out there.

Have a Positive Attitude

If you have a positive outlook on life, then good things will come to you because you are open to them. This also applies to catching a guy’s eye. If he sees you with bright eyes and a smile on your face, then he will be intrigued and energized by your positive energy.

Remember that optimism and positive energy can be contagious in the best way. And if the guy you like notices that you have that type of attitude, then he might want to get to know you a little bit more.

Negativity, on the other hand, can be a bad thing not only for you but the people around you as well. Look out for negative behaviors including gossiping too much and making mean remarks to people. If you have a short temper, then the guy you like might see that as a negative as well.

Not only is positivity attractive to others, it is also good for you. So keep a fresh outlook on things and do your best to maintain a positive demeanor.

Make a Good Impression

When it comes to meeting anyone, first impressions speak volumes. This especially applies to a guy that you might be interested in. Nervousness can sometimes make you quiet and shy and that might make you seem indifferent to the guy that you like.

If you want to make a good impression on this guy, then do not shrink away or be afraid that you might make a fool out of yourself. Be nice and polite and if you do embarrass yourself, then brush it off and don’t give up right away.

When you are face to face with him, avoid being timid and meek. And do not be overly assertive either. Be polite and cool and casual at the same time. Remember that you want to be approachable.

If this guy thinks, “wow I want to see her and talk to her again,” then you have done a good job.

Be Unique

Being unique is an important part of making a good impression on the guy you like. This does not mean that you should try to stand out for the sake of standing out. Doing so will make you seem like as if you are not a genuine person. Instead, find what makes you special and different from everyone else.

The more you show off your individuality, the more you will stand out to the crowd, including the guy you like. If you show what makes you different from the rest, then how can this guy not notice you?

So think about what makes you different. Is it your brain? Your sense of style? Or something else that you have a passion for? Maybe you have a huge heart or a great sense of humor that always has people cracking up.

Whatever it is that makes you special, figure out what it is and do not be afraid to wear it proudly on your sleeve. This uniqueness of yours will help the guy you like to pay attention to you and he will remember you for what sets you apart, not for what makes you like everyone else out there.

Do Not Act Desperate

While you might really want to get a guy to pay attention to you, do not show it too much. Desperation is not attractive and if you show way too much interest, then that can easily become a turn off for him.

Remember to give him space to breath. He should not be feeling suffocated and bombarded by your presence.

You might be so nervous around this guy that you could end up acting desperate without even realizing it. Here are some examples of acting desperate around a guy.

If you are always looking for compliments, then that is one sign that you are acting desperate. While you should show an interest in this guy, do not appear to be too eager either. You want to show that you value yourself.

Avoid bombarding him with texts as that could prove to be overwhelming to him. If you smother this guy from the very beginning, then you might come off as way too desperate and controlling.

Do not try to act too intimate right away. Flirting with him and lightly touching him is one thing, but to do it constantly will show that you could be insecure and possessive.

These are just a few examples of acting desperate. If you have friends around you, they will often be able to let you know if your behavior is getting desperate since they will be looking out for your best interests.

Connect with Him on Social Media

These days, social media can play a very important role when you want to get to know someone. And it is also effective if you want someone to get to know you. From blog posts to pictures, this guy will know more about your life and what your interests are. Get his attention with your social media accounts.

There are too things online that can repeal a guy instead of attracting him. If you are too vain and are full of drama, then you might not get the positive attention from him you are looking for.

Constantly putting up selfies and being overly obsessed with your looks might indicate that you are vain and self-centered. And constantly going into rants online and publicly arguing with others will tell him that drama follows you wherever you go. So if you want his attention, avoid drama as well.

Social media gives you the opportunity to share yourself with others. Let people know what shows you are watching and what is on your mind. This will help him pay more attention to you and you might even discover some interests you have in common with each other.

If the guy you like knows more about you, then he will have more opportunities to really talk to you about your life and your interests. A real sign you are getting close is when you private message each other since that is a lot more personal than talking on a public online setting.

The internet can have a way of allowing people to let their guard down more, so when interacting with this guy on social media you might feel less nervous about being witty, flirty, or silly. This can give you the confidence to interact more with him in person.

Let Him Help You

Feeling clumsy and needing help can be frustrating, but the one advantage is that you will often have someone around who is more than willing to help you out. How many romantic comedies have you seen where the guy comes to rescue the lady who needs an extra set of strong hands to help her out?

If you are struggling with your bags or other things and he rushes to help you, let him. And don’t forget to smile and thank him. Sometimes when a guy sees a damsel in distress, he will come to her aid.

Catch His Eye

A very immediate way to get a guy’s attention is by making sure you look unique. Whatever your style is, do not be afraid to embrace it. This will set you apart from everyone else who is out there.

Naturally, guys will immediately notice your physical attributes. This can include anything from your hair and your eyes to your smile. So do not forget to brush and fix your hair in the morning and to smile at him when he walks by.

There are even ways to catch a guy’s attention if you are not talking but are in the same room. You can try to glance at him for a brief moment and then give him a subtle smile. If you are with friends and end up laughing, glance his way to see if he is watching you.

Look at him out of the side of your eye to see if he might be looking your way at all, but be subtle about it. If you are the first to leave, walk past him and make eye contact as you walk towards the door.

When you do make eye contact, give him an inviting smile as you walk by. This will let him know that you are interested in him. The rest is up to him.

Engage in Conversation

A great way to get a guy’s attention is to get him to have a conversation with you. Not everything is about looks and many guys will be interested in someone that they can talk to and not just someone pretty they can look at.

If you are pretty but have nothing to talk about, then the charm could wear off quickly. But if you can talk to people and make sure you do not make conversations one-sided, then you can get this guy’s attention.

If you do not know this guy all that well, then you might not know what to talk about. You can ask him questions about himself and find out what his interests are.

People are always eager to talk about themselves a little bit and this is a good way to find out what you might have in common with him.

For more general topics of conversation, try talking about current events, or you can pay him a compliment. Compliments can lead to some good conversations.

From his choice in music to the shirt that he is wearing, a little compliment can go a long way and it will let him know that you are paying attention to him.

Make Him Laugh

If you can make a guy laugh, then you can certainly grab his attention. First, you will want to know what his sense of humor is. Some people are sarcastic and others prefer raunchy humor while others are very corny. If you do not know him too well, then avoid making jokes that could be too controversial.

When it comes to making a guy laugh, try to be silly and to be yourself. Avoid piling on the self-deprecating humor as that can be seen as too negative. Keep the mood light and do not try to pressure him to laugh at your jokes. Just see what works and what does not work. Do not be afraid to put yourself out there.

If you can laugh at yourself, then a guy will notice that you are not too uptight and that you do not take yourself too seriously. But on the other end of things, if everything is always a joke to you, then this guy might lose interest as well. So make him laugh, but make sure that you provide some substance as well.

There are many types of humor that you can use. What is your sense of humor? There is sarcasm, dark humor, naughty humor, and many other types of humor out there.

Remember that you will also get a guy’s attention if you can manage to laugh at and appreciate his jokes. At the same time, do not fake it. If you do not find a joke hilarious, you can always just give a small chuckle and smile and leave it at that.


Flirting can be tough because you might be afraid of looking like a fool and being rejected by the guy you like. But if you want a guy to notice you at all and if you want him to know that you are interested in him, then flirting is key to getting his attention.

If you want a guy to notice you, then by all means do not be afraid to be a little flirty when you are interacting with him. When you are around this guy, go ahead and try to strike a balance between subtlety and boldness at the same time.

Little things like making eye contact and smiling at him are very subtle ways to show your interest in him.

While it might seem silly, people do like attention from the right people and guys are no exception to this. If you give attention to this guy, toss your hair, and flash a smile at him, then he might feel very special about himself because of the attention you are giving to him.

Before you flirt with the guy you like, you have to get a sense of his personality first. Is he outgoing or shy? An outgoing guy will probably be more receptive to flirting. A shy guy might need you to bring him out of his shell, but if you come on too hard that could also turn him off.

Make Contact

Making physical contact is a form of flirting. At the same time, this is taking flirting to the next level. There are various ways to initiate physical contact with a guy if you want to get him to pay attention to you.

To start with, you might want to make small moves at first. This includes little things like brushing your hand against his or resting your hand on his shoulder. You can also be subtle by leaning in towards him and pointing your feet towards him as you are interacting. And most importantly of all, don’t forget to make eye contact and to smile at him.

If you are feeling even more comfortable with him, you can try to rest your head on his shoulder if you are sitting together while watching a movie or something similar.

Find Common Interests

One great way to get a guy’s attention is by finding out what common interests you have. Unless he wears band shirts and always has his nose buried in a book, you will not know what his interests are unless you ask him.

Try to make an effort to get to know this guy. Go ahead and ask him about what he likes to do, what music he likes, what he likes to watch on the television, and so on. These are all relatively easy topics to discuss. Harder ones might include divisive topic like politics or religion.

You can never predict how much or how little you and a guy will have in common. If you have something in common that you are both passionate about, then that is great. If you cannot find any common interests at first, do not give up so quickly.

Common interests not always have to be about favorite things. Dig a little deeper and you might find something else you have in common like shared values and views on the world.

Just remember to be patient and remain engaged if you are really interested in this guy. Let him know you are interested in connecting with him.


In order to get any guy’s attention, the most important thing you have to do is make an effort. It will not always happen overnight and most times, you cannot just sit there and hope that he will notice you one day.

If you want this guy to notice you, then you have to do something in order to catch his attention and that can mean anything from smiling at him to asking him about his day or laughing at a joke he just told. The other thing you will have to do is be patient and confident.

Keep in mind that these tips are not a guarantee that a particular guy will notice you and if it does not work with him, remember that there are plenty of other guys out there who will respond to you.

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5 Unique Ways To Get A Guy To Notice You

You’re out with your friends enjoying a tasty glass of wine, and you notice an attractive man at a table close to you.

Maybe you’re at the store, picking up some groceries when you spot a hot guy further down the aisle.

Or perhaps you’re waiting to cross the street and there’s a cute guy waiting beside you.

How are you to get a guy to notice you in these situations?

Especially before the moment has passed and he’s gone?

But by unique I don’t claim that they’re original to me.

No, I mean that they’re sort of thinking outside the box methods – but still respectable so that he won’t think you’re a bit weird.

Of course, you’ve got to get the basics covered before you have even a chance of him noticing you.

You’ve got to look good. Now, this doesn’t mean you need to look like a supermodel.

But you have to do your best with what you have. If you’re unhappy with your body or appearance, get to the gym, eat well and be positive.

Remember, most guys are totally happy with normal girls.

You know how important manners are in the professional world, but you should also apply this to the dating world.

Be a good person, and your positive energy will also work to attract him into your world.

And whatever you do, make sure you avoid these common turn-offs for guys.

Table of Contents

Ask For Directions Or Help

Let’s imagine the possibilities for a second.

This cute guy that you want to talk to could be the man who ends up spending his life with you.

So what’s wrong with using a little trick to get an excuse to talk to him?

Ok, you may not need help or directions, but ask him anyway.

He’s probably lost in thought, imagining everything he needs to do at work, and what he has to get finished by the end of the week.

So it’s not his fault that he didn’t notice you at the store, or at lunchtime at the local deli.

But it will be your fault if you don’t make the first move.

If you’re at the store, ask him if a particular item is good, or what would be a better choice.

It could be cheese, or wine, or even a sauce. The best thing with this tip is that if he turns out to be a dud, you didn’t embarrass yourself in front of anybody.

Give Him Strong Eye Contact

A sure way to figure out whether he’s cute and confident, or just plain cute, is to lock eyes with his and watch his reaction.

Does he immediately look away, or look to the floor?

Chances are that he’s not a confident guy, and he’s intimidated by you.

Most women will find this unattractive in a man, but if you don’t mind it, just remember that you’ll have to use one of the other tips if you want to get talking to him.

On the other hand, if he meets your gaze, and smiles at you, and he holds eye contact, you know that he likes what he sees.

He’s also going to approach you immediately or find a way to do it discretely.

Now, approaching women is a big deal for every guy. It strikes fear into us, and even the most experienced players get a rush of anxiety when they attempt it.

So make it easy for him. Put your phone down, make sure there’s an empty chair or space beside you, and angle your body towards his.

Show him you’re open and welcoming him.

Walk Right Up To Him And Tell Him You Think He’s Cute

Right, this one is not for every woman.

But it’s guaranteed to get his attention.

I mean, he can’t not notice you when you’re in front of him and saying hello.

This tip depends on how much you want him.

And perhaps you’ve had a couple of glasses of wine, so you feel a little braver after your liquid courage.

Just remember, the worst that can happen is that he’ll politely turn you down. No man ever tries to rudely dismiss a girl the way women routinely do it to men.

But, on the upside, it could be the move that sweeps you into a passionate and enduring relationship.

Send Him A Drink At The Bar

Is it early on in the evening?

Maybe you’ve just arrived at the bar and your friend texted to say she’ll be late.

Try this one on for size.

Ask the waiter for your drink, and then a drink for the handsome gentleman you spotted at a nearby table.

It doesn’t matter whether he’s alone, or with friends.

Ask the waiter to buy the next round for him, with your compliments.

Be prepared for him to look over at you, so sit straight and look your best.

You don’t have to make eye contact.

He’ll come over and thank you for the drink. Whatever happens next is anybody’s guess.

But at the very least you’ll have potentially made something happen from nothing.

Just don’t be shy. Smile and enjoy the moment you created.

Embody The Campfire Effect

Bob Grant PLC is an experienced Professional Counselor, who has counseled thousands of women on relationships and attracting men.

The Campfire Effect is a proven method for attracting men, and getting them to notice you, without you going out of your way to do anything special.

Of course, which of these 5 options would you choose?

I’m certain you’d rather have the man come to you. So, check out his guaranteed program.

And no, it’s not free. Very few things of value in life are.

But most women choose to see it as an investment in themselves, and their future together with an attractive and confident man.

How does your future play out? Make sure you’re not missing out on this life-changing advice.

How to get hot guys

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