- 12 Different Types Of Orgasms Women Can Have — How Many Have You Had?
- How Often Should I Come During Sex? 5 Things To Know About Orgasming During Sex
- How to Have Multiple Orgasms In 7 Steps
- Week Three: Weed Lube and No Toys
- Week Four: Exercise and Horror Films
- The Results
- Strengthen those PC muscles
- Suppress ejaculation while masturbating
- Try a different position
- Focus on your breath
- Check your T-levels
- How to give her multiple orgasms
- Get into the groove
- Extra stimulation
- It’s all about the clitoris
- But also not about the clitoris
- How Men Are Biohacking Multiple Orgasms
- 6 Tips to Help You Achieve Multiple Orgasms (Just Like Me)
- My Personal Journey to Multiple Os
- Tips for Achieving Multiple Orgasms
12 Different Types Of Orgasms Women Can Have — How Many Have You Had?
Would you believe it if I told you that the average age a woman has her first orgasm is between 18-24? According to a survey conducted by sex toy company Adam & Eve, 45 percent of the women in their study said that their first orgasm was achieved in that range, while 43 percent had theirs before the age of 18 — but if you don’t fall under either criteria, that’s okay too. The truth of the matter is that there are so many different types of orgasms women can have that when you get to O-Town for the first or 50th time is really and truly up to you.
This is probably one of the most common types of orgasms, although it can be argued that most types of orgasms are considered typical in their own ways, depending on your preference. With a vaginal orgasm, you might feel it less intensely than others, but it’s a deeper feeling of pleasure that can be achieved as long as you find the right position with your partner.
As crazy as it sounds, you can legitimately have an orgasm just from kissing or from going down on someone else. It all depends on how sensitive your tongue and mouth is, but some women find that the sensation can travel from their tongues down their own bodies and give them legitimate orgasms.
But sex isn’t for everyone, but just like a vaginal or clitoral orgasm, having an butt orgasm is a different kind of pleasure if you can do it right. Of course this requires lots of careful planning on your partner’s part, as well as some lubrication, but women are totally capable of feeling sensation from an butt orgasm.
With 8,000 nerve endings camping out in that spot in your vaginal region, it’s no wonder that the clitoral orgasm is felt so strongly. For some women, having the clitoris stimulated during foreplay may be all they need to send them over the edge into orgasm, while others still require more of a warm up before a clitoral orgasm.
Similar to a vaginal orgasm, being able to “hit the G-spot,” so to speak, enables you to have a strictly vaginal orgasm, only much more intensely. Some find it hard to find this elusive spot within the vagina, while others claim to achieve most of their orgasms this way. Call it a myth if you will, but nothing is stopping you from trying to find it.
Apparently, a coregasm is achieved strictly through working out. No, it’s not a ploy to get you to fit more cardio into your daily routine, but according to the book The Coregasm Workout, by getting your heart rate up and performing some core lower body and lower ab cardio workouts, you can get enough blood flowing down there to give you a small orgasm.
Simply put, a blended orgasm involves a mixture of vaginal and clitoral stimulation. In fact, some women might find this to be the most pleasurable of all options and most easy to obtain too.
The a-spot refers to the area deep in the vagina called the anterior fornix which, when reached during or after sex, can trigger an intense orgasm. Since it’s deep in the vaginal canal, it might be hard to find, much like the G-spot, but it is considered a legitimate erogenous zone on the body.
Of course it feels good to have nipple and breast stimulation before and during sex, but for some, an orgasm can be achieved by nipple stimulation alone. Now, before you go snapping off your bra and trying it out, remember that you have to be open to it and your mind has to be clear so you can really concentrate on it. It’s not really about tricking your mind into having an orgasm, but the mind plays a huge role in orgasms in general anyway.
Think of this as meditative sex, in a way. Just lay down and let your mind clear while essentially thinking yourself into an orgasm. At the very least, it can help get you in the mood, but at its best, a mental orgasm can get you off. Like, for real.
Yes, another type of orgasm that is too cool to not have an abbreviation. Believe it or not, the U-spot actually refers to your urethra. Since the urethra is basically right in the middle of your clitoral area, stimulating the U-spot helps trigger a clitoral type of orgasm that might even be more intense.
Random, non-sexual areas of your body like the inner thighs, nape of the neck, or clavicle can trigger orgasms simply by having them stimulated. Honestly, though, with all of the different types of orgasms women can have, it has never been better to be a woman in tune with her sexuality.
Sponsored: The best dating/relationships advice on the web. Check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You immediately connect with an awesome coach on text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…
How Often Should I Come During Sex? 5 Things To Know About Orgasming During Sex
Have you ever wondered how many times you should be orgasming during sex? Like, is one enough or should you be trying to have multiple orgasms? Or maybe you’re not coming during sex at all — WTF does that mean?? Ugh, there are definitely a million questions around the “right” number of times we “should” be orgasming. I know that I’ve even asked myself if my usual one-and-done is actually enough or if I should be trying for more. But you know what? It’s time to take the “should” out of our orgasms. Instead, let’s focus on the feeling behind the orgasms: pleasure.
Even in the most sex-positive circles, I think pleasure still gets left out of the conversation sometimes. We get so caught up in the mechanics of sex — how to do this move or that move or have more orgasms or pick the right toy or whatever — when really what we’re talking about is how to feel good. And yes, an orgasm is a really awesome way to feel good. And yes, the sex-positive movement has fought really hard (and continues to fight) for the female orgasm in particular. But assigning a number of orgasms to sex feels like boiling sex down to a series of tally marks or a contest.
So instead of asking yourself, “Am I coming enough?” go with one of these five pleasure-focused questions instead.
1. Is Your Partner Committed To Your Pleasure?
One of the fights that feminism has taken on with a gusto is the fight for the female orgasm. No more will we tolerate partners who have their fun and then roll over and fall asleep, leaving us a quivering mess of arousal! However, even if you don’t have an orgasm (‘cause, let’s be real, sometimes it just isn’t gonna happen), your partner should be committed to the cause. That means they put in a good faith effort to get you off.
2. Do You Feel Good Afterward?
Whether you come zero times or five, how do you feel afterward? If you’re perfectly happy not having an orgasm or you’re a one-and-done person like me, as long as you feel good after it’s done, who’s to say you haven’t come “enough?”
3. Or Do You Feel More Like You’re Missing Something?
On the other hand, if after every time you have sex you feel like something is missing, then it’s time to have a real talk convo with your partner. If you’re not orgasming because something about the sex you’re having isn’t working for you, your partner should be committed to working it out with you.
4. Are You Owning Your Orgasm?
I’m a huge advocate of people — especially female-bodied people — owning their own orgasm. When you consider the fact that the majority of women can’t come from penetration alone , you start realizing how important it is to take care of your own business! If you need to masturbate while having sex or you know certain fantasies will get you there or there’s only one position that works, do you, boo! No shame. Own your pleasure.
5. How Was All The Other Stuff?
And of course, because we’re focusing on pleasure and not just orgasming, I want you to consider how everything else was, too. Was there some seriously sexy rolling around? Did you make out like a fiend? Were you really digging that oral sex? Just because sex doesn’t end in an orgasm doesn’t mean it was “bad” or not worth having.
Want more of Bustle’s Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions to make him last longer:
Bustle on YouTube
Images: Andrew Zaeh/Bustle; Giphy (5)
How to Have Multiple Orgasms In 7 Steps
We’ve all heard whispers and rumors, but actually having multiple orgasms? Well, that’s on par with having hair like a Victoria’s Secret angel and a metabolism that can burn right through morning bagels. But sexperts are here to reassure us all that multiple orgasms really do exist and-even better-that we can all have them!
How many orgasms can you actually have?
The limit does not exist. “I had a client who would regularly have 30 to 40 orgasms in a session with her partner. She may be the extreme but having one to five is totally normal and doable for any woman,” says holistic sex and relationship expert Kim Anami.
Obviously, we don’t need to convince anyone how great an orgasm is, but there are actually benefits beyond just pleasure. (And, that being said, there are a ton of health benefits of sex even if you don’t O.) “Touch, pleasure, and orgasms all have a host of health benefits, including boosting your immune system, regulating sleep cycles, alleviating anxiety and depression, and creating emotional well-being,” says Chris Rose, sex educator at PleasureMechanics.com. Plus, she adds, the more pleasure you feel, the more adept your body becomes at releasing the pleasure hormones, so it becomes a positive feedback loop. In addition to the chemical and hormonal benefits, orgasms also lead to greater degrees of emotional release and openness for the woman. (Read more: Your Brain On An Orgasm)
And if one orgasm is healthy, imagine how much better off you’d be with two or more!
So, the question on all of our minds is: How can you have multiple orgasms?! “Many women don’t allow themselves to get fully aroused, and arousal is what fuels multiple orgasms,” Rose explains. This is a long road, and one you might not reach the end of on the first try, but Rose and Anami have a pretty thorough guide to help you get there. To achieve maximum arousal and multiple Os, follow these seven steps:
Image zoom Photo: Serge Krouglikoff / Getty Images
1. Check your emotions.
Building arousal and experiencing multiple orgasms in one go is definitely about physical technique (don’t worry, we’ll get there), but the first step is setting your thoughts and emotions straight. “Becoming a multiorgasmic woman is a mindset more than anything,” says Rose. (And avoid these five common libido-crushers.)
It’s as easy as believing it’s possible for you personally to climax more than once, Anami says. Next is learning to relax: “Deeper orgasms are all about a very intense state of release, so you have to be willing to dive into the unknown and let go,” Anami adds. Once your attitude starts to shift, two or more orgasms may well become your new normal, Rose says. (If you’re having trouble just getting to one, read about the real reason you can’t orgasm during sex.)
2. Slow them down.
This is important if you’re with a male partner. (If you have a female partner, you might not have to worry about this one.) “Male stamina is crucial in women being able to reach higher states of pleasure and orgasm more,” Anami says. In fact, the average man takes anywhere from three to seven minutes to climax, while the average woman requires anywhere from 10 to 20-a discrepancy researchers call “the arousal gap.” How do you close that time frame? Female-focused foreplay is one of the best techniques because it allows you to start down the excitement path earlier than him, which leads us to…
3. Let them lavish you with pleasure.
Your partner wants nothing more than to see you orgasm once or twice (don’t worry, if it’s a guy, he’ll catch up!). “Most lovers are generous and willing and take pleasure in seeing their partner enjoy more than one orgasm-but many women have a hard time receiving so much attention and letting the erotic focus be on their own pleasure,” says Rose. If you want to experience the thrills, give yourself permission to be the star of the sexual experience. If you have any worries like “I’m taking too long” or “They must be getting bored down there,” then no amount of great stimulation will help. (Learn how to have an amazing orgasm by eliminating distraction.)
4. Help them with hand work.
“For most women, your partner’s hands and mouth are the best tools for helping you peak, so make sure they know how to use them,” Rose says. Show them exactly how you like to be touched-and then let them explore. (If you aren’t quite sure, it’s time for some solo exploration: Follow these tips for an amazing masturbation session.) “A lot of women love the combination of oral sex with a few fingers inside. This works for a good reason, as this combination allows stimulation of both the external clitoris and its internal roots,” Rose suggests. Move their hands to where you touch yourself, and give them audible feedback on what is working for you-right up until you reach your first peak.
5. Take a breath.
“After your first orgasm, take a moment or two to savor the afterglow before you start building arousal back up again. Your next orgasm might be mere minutes away,” Rose says. Focus on your breathing: “When people get sexually excited, they tend to hold the breath or breathe really shallow,” Anami says. “The more you can practice deep, steady breathing, you’ll relax, stay in the present moment, and also increase the power and pleasure of your orgasm.”
6. Turn to orgasmic intercourse.
If you’re moving on to penetrative sex, keep up the clitoral stimulation, Rose suggests. The majority of women worldwide don’t orgasm from penetrative sex alone, but instead can only climax from clitoral stimulation, reports a study in the journal Clinical Anatomy. “For most women, this is how they can get to full (and multiple) orgasms during intercourse,” she adds. (Start here: Make use of these best sex positions for clitoral stimulation and how to get more pleasure out of common sex positions.)
7. Keep the connection.
The deeper vaginal orgasms are all about a very deep state of release and letting go. Feeling like you’re on the same wavelength as your partner can help. “Maintaining eye contact is intense, but this forces you to be more vulnerable and open, which is key to these deeper orgasmic experiences,” Anami explains.
And once you reach your second orgasm, the doors are wide open: “If you can have two, you can have three, four, or more! There is no limit on how many orgasms a woman can experience,” Rose says. If it doesn’t happen the first time, don’t worry-practicing having multiple orgasms is something you and your partner can both enjoy.
- By Rachael Schultz @_RSchultz
While masturbating with a different vibrator, the Satisfyer Pro 2—a toy that moves air around the clitoris rather than vibrating directly on it—I had one orgasm. This round, rather than porn, I tried simply fantasizing about sex with someone I care about. Once again I continued to use the toy, but this time I combined it with the Bliss Breath technique, releasing any tension with my exhale. “The Bliss Breath helps ground you in your body and keep you out of your head,” says Dellepiane. “If you focus on the whispering sound, it takes you away from thinking. It also helps spread this orgasmic energy throughout your body.”
This time, during my second orgasm, the wave was real: I ended up squirting, which is rare for me! And there was no thinking necessary.
Week Three: Weed Lube and No Toys
I’m down with any excuse to incorporate weed into my sex life, so I asked Ashley Manta, the “CannaSexual” cannabis and sex educator, if she thought marijuana could help me achieve multiple orgasms. She told me that she is personally multi-orgasmic and that weed lube—typically coconut oil infused with cannabis—helped her get there. “My clit was historically a ‘one or two orgasms and done’ situation,” she said. “With the addition of cannabis oil, down to take more stimulation.” (Damn, and I thought having two made me multi-orgasmic.)
I decided to give some Foria Pleasure Spray a try. Since I was already using my hands to spray it on, I decided to go manual for this round. Typically, I really like using products like Foria in my masturbation routine, since adding cannabis oil to solo sex makes it more of a ritual, and it feels quite glam to have a stoned vagina (though THC topicals will only get you high if you ingest them orally). Plus, I’ve had insanely dope Foria-induced orgasms before.
This time, however, I did not fully climax. I blamed my exhausting day for ruining the mood. Plus, I was starting to worry that I had ruined my clitoris with vibrators. Fortunately, Dr. Richmond says that while it can’t hurt to shake up your masturbation routine, vibrators will not permanently ruin your ability to orgasm. Maybe this week I just needed sleep and cuddles.
Week Four: Exercise and Horror Films
According to Dr. Mintz, while taking your heart rate down a notch through relaxation exercises like bubble baths or deep breathing can help some people increase their climaxes, others actually need to take it up a notch: “For some women, the opposite of relaxing is what’s helpful,” she said. “It’s getting more blood flow, like going for a run, or watching a scary movie even.”
So after I finished work, I decided to put on one of my personal favorite horror movies of all time, The Shining. What I didn’t really think about, though, is how this particular flick is more slow-burn than jump-scare. Also, Jack Nicholson comes after his wife with an axe and shit—not content that makes me want to masturbate.
When that was failing, I turned off the television and walked up the street to my gym. I did a hard 30 minutes of cardio while listening to music, and the exercise endorphins coupled with the dulcet tones of Rihanna made me feel really good about myself. Still sweaty, I ran back to my apartment, put on some David Bowie to keep the good feelings, washed my hands, and went to town on myself. After I orgasmed, I kept going, just as I learned in week one. Sure enough, the fabulousness I was feeling about myself resulted in another climax. Exercise FTW.
So my mission was an overall success. By making a concerted effort to continue trying to orgasm after I already have—and by utilizing the Bliss Breath technique—it turns out I could be multi-orgasmic on the reg. But what I realized in attempting to become an orgasm machine is that maybe, at this point in my life, orgasms shouldn’t be the overarching goal of my sexual experiences. Sure, multiple orgasms are amazing, but the ending isn’t the only thing worth pursuing—even people with anorgasmia, or the inability to have an orgasm, can still have totally fulfilling sex lives.
“The bottom line is there is no wrong way to orgasm,” says Dr. Renye. “Having a goal in sex is not the point. The journey is where it’s at.”
From that perspective, my journey was a very pleasurable one indeed.
• It’s possible to have multiple orgasms if you’re a guy—it just takes some practice.
• If you learn to control your ejaculation, you can have multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms.
• The orgasms won’t feel quite as strong as ejaculatory orgasms—but if you want to try it out, here are some tips to make it happen.
Everyone would love to have multiple orgasms, but that pesky refractory period tends to get in the way. It turns out, there is a way for guys to climax more than once in a row—it just takes some practice.
The first thing you need to know? We tend to equate orgasms with ejaculation — but that’s not exactly the case.
“The orgasm is the part of the sexual experience that happens between two and seven seconds before ejaculation,” Ava Cadell, Ph.D., a Los Angeles sexologist explained to GQ. “It combines an increase in full-body sensitivity, quickening of breath, and a flood of sensations through the scrotum and penis.”
“Ejaculation is the final step of stimulation and involves the release of semen, as well as the neurotransmitters that will send the body into ‘rest and recovery mode,’ or the refractory period.”
While it’s virtually impossible for men to have multiple ejaculatory orgasms with no refractory period, you can climax several times in a row if you don’t release any semen. The technique is known as non-ejaculatory multiple orgasm, or NEMO, according to Mel Magazine, and involves strengthening your pelvic floor.
If you think non-ejaculatory orgasms will feel different from regular orgasms, you’re right — so remember to lower your expectations just a little.
“You can’t expect for each small orgasm to feel like your usual orgasms,” Jonathan Stegall, M.D., founder and president of the Center for Advanced Medicine in Atlanta, tells MensHealth.com. “They’ll be less in intensity, but for some men, having several small orgasms is actually preferable to having one big one.” (If you just want a bigger payoff in general, for 8 tricks to make your orgasms even better.)
Want to try your hand at having multiple orgasms? These tips might help you pull it off.
Strengthen those PC muscles
As we mentioned earlier, having multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms is all about controlling your pelvic floor.
“While some men experience multiple orgasms accidentally, others can learn to invite such a reaction,” sexologist Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D, tells MensHealth.com.
You can do this with Kegel exercises, which strengthen the pelvic floor muscles and your ability to control orgasmic and ejaculatory responses in the heat of the moment, she says. Your pubococcygeus (PC) muscle — which stretches from the pubic bone to the tailbone — controls ejaculation. If you can keep yourself from ejaculating after an orgasm, you’ll be more likely to skip the refractory period and orgasm again — and again, and again.
To perform Kegel exercises, you want to contract the PC muscle as you would when you control the flow of urine as you’re peeing. You can practice Kegels anywhere — like contracting the muscle for 10 seconds while sitting in your car.
Suppress ejaculation while masturbating
“In studies of men who claim to be multi-orgasmic, researchers have found that some guys just seem to come by it naturally, whereas others have taught themselves to have multiple orgasms,” explains Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and author Tell Me What You Want. The men who taught themselves how to be multi-orgasmic did so “by engaging in a lot of masturbatory practice in which they would get to the brink of orgasm, but then prevent ejaculation from occurring, such as by squeezing the penis.” The key is to get as close as possible to the “point of no return” without actually reaching it.
Relationship guru Dan Savage popularized the term, and it refers to when you reach a point either during sex or mastrubation when ejaculation is inevitable. No amount of holding off, pressure, of Kegel squeezes will prevent emission. When practicing how to become multi-orgasmic, it’s necessary to familiarize yourself with your own point of no return and to not cross it. “With enough practice and exercise, these men said that they were ultimately able to have several orgasms when they have sex, with their last one being an ejaculatory orgasm,” Lehmiller says.
Try a different position
If you have a hard time delaying gratification, switching positions during sex can help you control ejaculation and erection.
“Try having sex in a chair, where she’s in the chair and you’re on top of her, but still able to stand up and pull out before you ejaculate,” suggests sex therapist Jane Greer. “That way, you can tighten your muscles right before the point of ejaculation so you can experience orgasm without ejaculation.”
Focus on your breath
In The Multi-Orgasmic Man: Sexual Secrets Every Man Should Know, authors Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams dedicate a large portion of their book to the importance of breathing.
Deep “belly breathing” or “diaphragm breathing” is a key to mitigating ejaculation, explain the authors. When you get close to ejaculating, your breath rate sharply increases as you take short and shallow breaths. This, in turn, also increases your heart rate. Slowing down both will help you better control ejaculating.
To practice belly breathing, sit on a chair with your back straight. Relax your shoulders and place your hands on your stomach. Inhale deeply through your nose, and feel your stomach expand. Your chest should not move. Each breath should last for at least three seconds. Get in the habit of doing this type of breathing daily. You can do it at work, while crossing the street, and (especially) when you find yourself stressed. The goal is for belly breathing to become your normal style of breathing.
Now, when you’re in the bedroom, you’ll notice both your breath and heart rate increase. This is when you really want to engage in belly breathing to help slow down your breathing and postpone ejaculation.
Check your T-levels
Maybe you don’t want to have multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms, but just want to shorten your refractory period. In that case, make sure you have optimal testosterone levels — it’ll make your orgasms better, too.
“Low T is often thought of as an older man’s problem, but I see it in a significant portion of men in their 20s, 30s, and 40s,” Stegall says.
Even if your sex drive isn’t particularly low, Stegall advises guys over 30 to get their T-levels checked with a blood test by a doctor who specializes in anti-aging medicine and hormone replacement therapy. FYI, normal testosterone levels are between 300 and 1,000 nanograms per deciliter of blood.
Signs of low T include fatigue, decreased libido, fat gain, difficulty gaining muscle, mental fogginess, and depression.
“If a lot of guys in their 20s and 30s are honest with themselves, they’re probably dealing with at least some of these issues,” Stegall says.
Low testosterone can be boosted naturally by eating a diet high in proteins and healthy fats, sleeping eight hours a night, and by lifting weights three to six times per week.
Zachary Zane Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS, at Civilized.
If you’re one of the few women who can pull off multiple orgasms like they’re NBD, congrats! For the rest of us, multiple orgasms continue to be one of those ~holy grail sex myths~. We’re pretty sure they exist, but it’d be a lot easier to get on board if we’d ever experienced one ourselves. If you’re looking for tips on how to improve your odds of experiencing the mythical multiple orgasm, you can find some helpful tips here and here. In the meantime, two real women who Are About That Life explain exactly what it feels like to have multiple orgasms.
When was your first multiple orgasm?
Woman A: I was 25.
Woman B: Age 16, I think.
Did you give it to yourself the first time, or was it with a partner?
Woman A: It was with a partner that had been a long-time boyfriend. It happened during my first prolonged period of oral sex. This was the first time where I allowed him to pleasure me orally without stopping him once I reached my high peak of climax right before he penetrated. This time was different because he focused his efforts on licking me continuously without stopping in the process. All his efforts were focused on my clitoris and nothing else.
Woman B: I had given myself multiple clitoral orgasms by masturbating ever since I was little, but the first time I experienced multiple vaginal/vaginal+clitoral orgasms was with a partner during intercourse.
Did it surprise you?
Woman A: I was so surprised because I had never felt such a pleasurable release back to back. In the past when I received oral sex I would stop before the climax.
Woman B: Yes, in a good way!
How do you generally need to be stimulated to have multiple orgasms?
Woman A: My body usually requires excessive vaginal wetness and consistent deep penetration. Having oral sex before penetration helps guarantee I’ll stay consistently wet. I prefer oral sex where my partner is fully engaged by moving the outer lips of my vagina and focusing on my clitoris. Once I feel like I am about to explode, I quickly insert my partner’s penis which allows me to climax quickly after.
Woman B: I can have multiple orgasms through vaginal penetration, most often when coupled with clitoral stimulation.
How long does it take?
Woman A: Usually 30 minutes of deep penetration.
Woman B: Maybe 10 to 15 minutes. It’s hard to say and depends on my partner. With my first boyfriend, if I was really turned on, I could have multiple orgasms in just five minutes or so.
How much foreplay is required?
Woman A: Foreplay is a must for me. At least 15 minutes of foreplay is required with consistent finger penetration from my partner all while caressing and massaging my breasts.
Woman B: Again, that depends on how turned on I am to begin with. Probably 10 to 15 minutes of foreplay in most cases.
Can you describe how it feels?
Woman A: I can always confirm when I am having multiple orgasms when my knees start to shake. This is a sure sign for me. There is a feeling of a rush of blood that runs through my body all while feeling a sensational release.
Woman B: The first orgasm feels the same as when I have only one (obviously), but the subsequent ones are usually a little painful but in a good way. I feel a little out of it when I start to have multiple orgasms and feel a little overwhelmed by the feeling. It feels like my body is out of my control, which again feels good but in a strange way. It’s hard to describe, but I’d say having multiple orgasms feels a lot different from having only one.
Can you have an orgasm just from penetration?
Woman A: Yes. Something I find helps is to allow myself to be completely free and open to receiving the satisfaction from my partner. I like to close my eyes and visualize an orgasm before I have one — I feel like this helps heighten my senses.
Woman B: Yes, and I am very thankful for that!
How much do you think it’s due to a skilled partner and how much due to your body’s own capabilities?
Woman A: I think having multiple orgasms requires work for both you and your partner. It is important you have a partner that understands how you like to be penetrated. It is also important that you have no mental blockage and am free of any insecurities, self-consciousness, or other distracting thoughts.
Woman B: I’ve achieved orgasm multiple times with partners who were not at all skilled, but it took a lot of effort on my part and wasn’t very enjoyable. More than being due to having a skilled partner, I think it’s due to being with someone who knows my body well and cares about pleasing me. Anyone who’s been able to help me achieve one orgasm has also succeeding in giving me multiple.
What positions would you suggest to women interested in having multiple orgasms?
Woman A: Reverse cowgirl. This allows you to have more control of the penetration and increase the intensity and pressure.
Woman B: For me, missionary actually really works. It helps if the man’s pelvis is in direct contact with my clitoris the whole time, rather than using his or my hand to stimulate me there. Also, woman on top works very well because I can control the rhythm, pace, and depth.
What’s the general attitude other women have when you tell them that you have multiple orgasms?
Woman A: In general it seems like having multiple orgasms is foreign to many of my friends. I always encourage them not to hold back and remember they have a right to receive as much pleasure as their partner in the bedroom.
Woman B: Impressed/jealous! Other women are often curious about what it feels like and how I achieve it, also.
Carina Hsieh Sex & Relationships Editor Carina Hsieh lives in NYC with her French Bulldog Bao Bao — follow her on Instagram and Twitter • Candace Bushnell once called her the Samantha Jones of Tinder • She enjoys hanging out in the candle aisle of TJ Maxx and getting lost in Amazon spirals. Anna Breslaw Writer.
How to give her multiple orgasms
Men can’t experience multiple orgasms. Well, not in the same way as women – your body needs a “refractory period”, which allows you to recover and recharge. However, our capacity for orgasms is limitless, theoretically. Yet, only a third claim that they’re able to have them. This might not be entirely down to your technique, but a little refresher course couldn’t hurt now, could it?
Get into the groove
Lets start from pre-foreplay. Connection is key, so whether you’ve had a busy workweek or you’re in a huff because she’s annoyed that you bought the wrong type of prosecco, you need to work out your petty bullshit so she can be completely present. This goes for Sade lovemaking or Rihanna screwing – if she’s not completely zoned in, she doesn’t stand a chance.
Twenty-five to 35 per cent of us need help to reach orgasm during intercourse – that means extracurricular beyond straight-up penetration. There are many reasons why, but you can easily help her out. Read more: The butterfly position will make her orgasm
Oral sex is an obvious start, and penis rings with vibrating functions can help, but there’s also the angle of the approach. If she’s told you that she can have a multiple orgasm but hasn’t with you, take your time to master how you fit together – every vagina’s different and some experimentation with positions can have a major impact.
It’s all about the clitoris
That little nub near the top of the labia has double the nerve endings than the tip of your penis. But due to its sensitivity, less can be more. While you’re inside her, apply a little pressure with your thumb, finger or toy and slowly build pressure if she wants. Read more: How to guarantee she has an orgasm
If she comes once, reapply pressure as if you were mid-way through the build-up to her first orgasm and see how it plays. She’ll tell if you need to go harder, softer or stop altogether. Just don’t carry on at the same tempo.
But also not about the clitoris
If she’s not left in a juddering heap of multiple-orgasmic pleasure, don’t keep on hammering away at her clit. Too much pressure and/or speed can have a numbing effect, which doesn’t just ruin your chances of her telling every girlfriend she has how good you are in bed, but it’s a major turn-off. It also piles on the pressure for her to perform, which itself is like kryptonite to pleasure. Be patient, be gentle and let her guide you.
All products featured on the website are independently selected by our Editors. However, when you buy something through our retail links, we may earn an affiliate commission.
Let’s get something straight: Having multiple orgasms isn’t some exotic skill; it simply means having more than one peak during a single sex session — which could mean within minutes, hours, or an entire evening, says REDBOOK Love Network expert Lou Paget, author of The Big O. And it’s easier for women to have multiple O’s than for men because the female body doesn’t go through a post-orgasm recovery period, meaning we can stay aroused longer and get heated up again and again. Want to give it a try? Follow these steps — alone or with your guy — and enjoy the sexploration!
Step 1: Get In the Mood
You have a better chance of repeatedly peaking if you’ve already been ramped up by outside sexual stimuli — music, candles, massage, movies, whatever connects you with your body. “The higher your sexual energy is built up before you touch yourself or someone else touches you, the easier it is to have one orgasm and even multiples, because the pot of desire is larger and you’ve got nothing but sensuality simmering,” says Rachel Carlton Abrams, M.D., coauthor of The Multi-Orgasmic Woman.
Step 2: Tease It Out
Now that you’re feeling sexy, it’s time to get things revving hotter. Alone or with a partner, caress your skin with a luxurious material or play with sensitive spots, like your neck or breasts. Once your body is responding to touch, move on to genital stimulation, but avoid penetration just yet. When exploring multiples, Abrams notes, it’s often more effective for a woman to have her first orgasm through direct clitoral stimulation — which is best accomplished with a vibrator or via oral or manual action. Take it slowly and try delaying orgasm until you can’t hold out anymore.
“By backing off just before orgasm, then building up and pulling back several more times, you can significantly increase the amount of sexual tension coursing through your body,” says Abrams. This not only heightens your chances for an explosive first orgasm, it also prepares you for others. “Your body starts to expect that after you have one climax, you’ll have another, because you’ve trained it to be ready for a rise and a fall,” says Abrams.
Step 3: Have an Orgasm
Not quite there yet? Try adding contractions of your PC muscle (these are also known as Kegel exercises) to the equation. “If you do the contractions rhythmically as your pleasure builds, you can actually bring on an orgasm,” says Abrams. Studies have also shown that there’s a ~correlation~ between the PC muscles and orgasms.
Step 4: Restart the Stimulation
Begin stimulating your clitoris again within 30 seconds of your first orgasm. By doing so, you can capitalize on the fact that your body is still highly aroused. If your clitoris is too sensitive immediately afterward, return to the other areas you found pleasurable in Step 2. “You want to hang on to that sexual energy by continuing to be caressed,” says Abrams.
When you’re ready, try moving on to intercourse with clitoral stimulation (use your hand or his or a vibrator if intercourse alone isn’t hitting the spot). Again, throwing in some Kegels may help push you into another peak.
Most importantly, let go of expectations. “Don’t focus on the orgasm, because you’ll lose yourself in a goal-oriented place,” says Abrams. “Focus on the pleasure and follow the pleasure, and the orgasm will come.” With others right behind it!
There’s More than One Type of Multiple Orgasm…
…AKA, more reasons to have sex with your partner *tonight.*
- Compound singles: Each orgasm is separate and distinct, with a return to a partially unaroused state between each peak. Sex expert Lou Paget likens this to a pearl necklace with a length of chain between each pearl.
- Sequential multiple: Each orgasm occurs two to 10 minutes apart, with minimal reduction in arousal in between. Think of this type as a pearl choker with very little chain between each pearl.
- Serial multiple: Orgasms are separated by seconds or just a minute. May feel like one long climax with spasms of varying intensity — like a solid strand of pearls.
You can also have orgasms all over your body, and orgasms are legit good for you…so why not give it a go?
Follow Redbook on Facebook.
How Men Are Biohacking Multiple Orgasms
Conclusion: “Despite popular interest, the topic of male multiple orgasms has received surprisingly little scientific assessment. The role of ejaculation and physiological change during the refractory period in inhibiting multiple orgasms has barely been investigated.”
For those men who did experience multiple orgasms, which they define as climax with or without ejaculation, they documented four main contributing factors:
1. Practicing to have an orgasm without ejaculation (as already described, the old fashioned trick).
2. Drugs. (I am told anecdotally: cocaine and/or marijuana and/or GHB can work.)
3. A new partner or a new experience.
A simple Google search will instantly link you to online shops with plugs, rings, vibrators and more that promise multiple orgasms for men; “10 Sex Toys That Allow Multiple Orgasms” on Mr. Male Sex Toys—listing vibrating prostate massagers, butt plugs, male masturbators, and guarana-caffeine-ginseng pills—claims, “You won’t regret getting one of these toys, they really will do the job every time.”
Any product that promises a consistent result for all buyers of course—especially when it comes to sex—is a sham: nothing could ever deliver an orgasm of any sort for anybody and everybody at all times.
That doesn’t mean of course that they won’t work for some. “If you stimulate a larger population of neurons, combining different genital regions, the anus, the prostate, the rectum, this can activate a much larger population of neurons on the whole which can produce orgasms,” says Dr. Komisaruk. “If you activate all of them at once, the orgasms can be more intense.”
What about the tricks?
“They are interesting—but they take a lot of practice and dedication. And though the experience might be great for you, your partner might not be so thrilled—she or he might find it quite tedious,” says Dr. Petra Boynton, sex psychologist, educator, and “agony aunt” for British newspaper The Telegraph, who has received thousands of letters from distressed and curious readers over the years.
“The tricky part is that most discussions you see about multiple orgasms online come from men who train themselves to do it. While this doesn’t interest some men, for others it becomes a competitive, hyper-masculine goal of being able to do it again and again,” she says. “For some that is great, but some people find it so prescriptive that it sucks the joy out of the experience. It becomes a matter of ‘achieving’ orgasm—rather than ‘experiencing’ orgasm: a goal, no matter how chafed and sore you are.”
The biological reality of multiple orgasms in men could possibly become a poisoned chalice, if you think about it. In the past we have tended to think of male orgasms as being simple and coming in one form—while women come in a variety of fashions: clitoral climax, vaginal orgasm, multiple orgasm, squirting—the list goes on. And unfortunately this diversity has been used as a means to make women feel insecure and inadequate.
Could the same happen for men? They already feel competitive about how long they last, how big their penis is, and—yes really—how much they ejaculate. Could orgasm frequency be next on the list?
Maybe. Or perhaps it could be another facet of their biological potential they could playfully explore, stress-free.
“The honest truth is that for most people a multiple orgasm tends to happen with a new partner, or a new kind of experience, or you just haven’t had sex for a while,” says Dr. Boynton. “It’s more often than not a happy accident rather than a planned event.”
6 Tips to Help You Achieve Multiple Orgasms (Just Like Me)
I’ve always been particularly partial to the idea of orgasming at the same time as my partner. It always seemed like a nice way to enjoy sex. Since I tend to mostly partner with penis-owners who feel that sex is over once they orgasm, it just seemed easier and better for everyone involved if I could orgasm at the same time. I’m lucky that my body seems to work in a way that allows me to do that. Even so, I always assumed I had a “single orgasm” type of body. I had never assumed that my body was capable of multiple orgasms. I hadn’t even really tried.
Your multiple orgasm is just few clicks away! and sign up for a joyful video lesson. Go forth and multiply!
My Personal Journey to Multiple Os
Early this year, I stumbled across an article touting a vagina-owner’s innate ability to have multiple orgasms. The article claimed that every vagina-owner has the built-in ability to have multiple orgasms … even if some people haven’t chosen to explore that path. I don’t like generalities, but the article got my wheels spinning. Had I just been ignoring an entire part of my sexuality because I’d convinced myself that it wasn’t possible? It was time to figure out if I’d been wrong this whole time.
So, I went on a journey to figure out my own path to multiple orgasms. At the urging of my partner, I decided to take this journey and make it a solo one. As he pointed out, it was more likely to happen if I learned to do it by myself. Plus, if I succeeded, he’d get to reap the benefits later.
Read: Orgasms 101: Understanding Climax
Week One … Trials and Frustration
He was right, though. I didn’t quite realize how much effort, frustration and time I’d spend while trying to convince my body to have multiple orgasms. I’m glad that I decided to explore it solo. It made it easier to give up without having to explain myself. The first week I tried, it was just frustrating. My mind wanted to do it, but my body just wouldn’t cooperate. I’d spend a long time after my first orgasm trying to make it happen again, but it just seemed like my body wasn’t having it. I couldn’t get close, and it was difficult to feel pleasure from continued stimulation. I was frustrated.
Week Two … Making Progress
After that first week, though, I started to find that my body was actually reaching the precipice of a second orgasm, although I still wasn’t making it to the actual peak. It was seconds away. I just couldn’t make my body actually achieve another orgasm. It was frustrating, but it was progress. I took that as a sign that I was accomplishing something through my experimentation.
Finally … O-Town!
It took a couple weeks, but with no rhyme or reason, I was surprised to find that I had that second orgasm one day … and then a third … and then a fourth! It seemed like the “dam” that had built up had been broken, and I was pretty ecstatic about it. I’m pretty sure I texted someone with the news. I was that stoked.
Worried it was an anomaly, I had to try it again and again for the next couple weeks, and it still worked! Some days it was easier than others. Some days, it just didn’t work, but it seemed like I could enjoy multiple orgasms semi-reliably. I had learned something new about my body and, most importantly, my pride was intact. My horribly unscientific experiment had been a success!
Valentine’s Day is Around the Corner
Screw chocolate and flowers, give the gift of sex toys and pleasure. Save up to 25% on the most popular couples and solo toys today.
Having multiple orgasms is still pretty new to me. I enjoy it, but although other people say that their orgasms grow in intensity each time, I’ll admit that I find each subsequent orgasm to be less intense and less pleasurable than the one before it. For that reason, I still haven’t made multiple orgasms a regular part of my sex life.
During my experimentation, I found a noticeable lack of articles and information about how women can achieve multiple orgasms. It seemed like every person who was enjoying them was just naturally blessed with the ability. There didn’t seem to be too much information about training your own body unless it had a spiritual slant to it. While I think multiple female orgasms can definitely be a spiritual experience, I think a lot of people also just want more orgasms. Based on my own experience, I came up with a few tips to help you achieve the elusive multiple O.
Get off with a little help from Kinkly readers’ FAVORITE toy: The LELO SONA Cruise!
Tips for Achieving Multiple Orgasms
Train Your Body
It’s fascinating how almost everything about our bodies can be trained. Eat less, and your body adjusts its metabolism to make up for it. Drink alcohol every day and you’ll adjust to the effects and require more alcohol to get the same buzz. Your orgasms can be the same way. If your body is used to just having a single orgasm, your brain may shut down to arousal after that first orgasm hits. To get more, you’re going to have to train your body to continue to experience arousal and pleasure. To start the process, work on continuing the stimulation, sexy ideas and images after that first orgasm. This can help your brain and body learn that there’s more to come. It may take some time, but I found I was able to get more aroused after my first orgasm with practice.
Keep Up the Stimulation
Almost every guide out there says that you need to continue the physical stimulation after you’ve achieved orgasm. For many vagina-owners, the clitoris becomes too sensitive to touch at this point, so touch yourself in sensual areas that don’t feel too sensitive. Resume touching your orgasmic centers within a minute or two of the last orgasm to keep your body from going too far down the resolution phase.
Find Great Stimulation (or the Right Toy?)
Finding good stimulation is important to reaching multiple peaks as well. I love powerful vibrators, but I find that too-powerful vibrators will start to make my body numb and make multiple orgasms impossible. Find something that works for you without overstimulating or causing numbness. (Kinkly reviewed the LELO SONA Cruise and found it be a machine when it comes to multiple orgasms. Read the review here.)
Give Yourself Permission to Fail
It helps so much to accept that multiples orgasms – or orgasm in general – might not happen and that that’s OK. While I did have a goal in mind (more orgasms!), it really helped me to understand that discovering multiple orgasms might be a long process and that today might not be the day for those multiples to happen. I gave myself permission to give up if I just didn’t think it was going to happen that day – and that took the pressure off.
This entire process is so much easier if you find something that’s arousing to you in the first place. Having orgasms is just as much a physical battle as it is a mental battle. Give yourself the best methods to succeed. Find a good erotic story, fantasy, porn movie, or whatever gets you off to help you continue your arousal after that first orgasm.
Relax Your Body
This might sound counter-intuitive, but I was having problems achieving multiple orgasms because I was too tense. I was so tense and expectant that it all felt like hard work. Then, one time when I had decided it was useless and I wasn’t going to achieve any more orgasms, I relaxed my body in annoyance – and I instantly had an orgasm. Make sure that you’re relaxing all of those muscles and allowing them to occasionally tighten, much like you’ll notice you do when you’re climbing the hill towards your first climax. (Read more in Stop Worrying About Orgasms. Seriously.)
Finally, remember to explore your body with curiosity and self acceptance. Multiple orgasms don’t happen for everyone, but you can learn a lot about your body by trying to have them. Just enjoy the ride.