Penises are a lot like snowflakes, in that no one is the same. There are big ones, small ones, medium ones, curvy ones, girthy ones, and, well, you get the point. “Penis sizes vary person to person based on genetics, hormone and testosterone levels, and ethnicity,” says urologist Koushik Shaw, MD. So, TBH, there are lots and lots and lots of different shapes and sizes.

With that said, though, the average penis size is 3.61 inches and 5.16 inches erect, according to the Wiley Online Library. But does size actually, really matter in the bedroom? Below, three men who identify as having a “small penis” settle the Q once and for all.

Contents

You identify as having a small penis. How big is it?

Man A: Around five inches, but when it’s flaccid, it looks like it’s not even there, which is my real hang-up.

Man B: 4.1 inches when erect and 1.6 when flaccid.

Man C: Three inches when erect.

When did you realize you were smaller than average?

Man A: I think around once I started watching porn in high school, I concluded that everyone else had a much longer penis.

Man B: In my early teens. When getting changed after swimming class when I was 13, I noticed that the other boys’ penises were noticeably larger than mine. Mine looked tiny in comparison. I started paying more attention to other penises and quickly realized that I had a small one.

Man C: Around 13, seeing other boys in the changing room. Seeing their larger penises and pubic hair made me feel inferior. I felt like I needed to hide my genitals in order to avoid being singled out and bullied. I assumed I was just a late developer, but when I did finally get pubic hair when I was 15, my penis seemed to remain the same size.

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How did you feel about your penis size growing up?

Man A: I was always worried that it was small but I didn’t really have any way to know for sure until I got a computer.

Man B: I was embarrassed. I would get changed in locker rooms backed into the corner, constantly fearing that someone would see my penis and laugh.

Man C: I was shy about it and wanted it to be bigger. I didn’t try to go further than kissing girls because I felt my small penis would make me an object of ridicule at school and, later, with work colleagues.

And how do you feel about it now?

Man A: I am pretty ambivalent about the size of it now since I’ve gotten older. I’ve always managed to have a healthy amount of good sex .

Man B: I’ve come to slowly accept that having a small penis is something I can do little about and have to accept. I still don’t like getting changed in front of other men and still struggle to admit to having a small penis. However, I don’t feel the same complete embarrassment I felt growing up.

Man C: I’m happy with it now, as I developed a fetish for humiliation. I have a Twitter account about small penis humiliation, a recognized fetish where submissive men with small penises are ridiculed and punished, usually by superior and dominant women. The women remain fully clothed while the men are stripped or feminized with makeup and lingerie and made to masturbate or carry out demeaning tasks, such as chores or stripper-style dance routines.

In your experience, does size matter to the people you sleep with?

Man A: I think that it definitely does matter to your partner, but you can still please them if you are competent in bed (e.g., bringing your partner to orgasm). I also think confidence plays a big part in being a good partner. A lot of poor performance can come from anxiety.

Man B: I think it matters more to me than it does to them. However, I have never managed to make a woman orgasm through penetrative sex. When I lost my virginity, I was very scared that my partner would laugh or leave, so I put off sex initially. When we did have sex, though, she didn’t say anything, and in our relationship, neither of us brought it up. Shortly after we broke up, I was on her Myspace page and noticed a conversation with her and two of her friends in which they joked about me having a “tiny penis.” I felt shocked and horrible for weeks afterward. Since then, I’ve made sure to talk about the issue with my partners rather than pretend the issue isn’t there.

Man C: Yes. I’ve had girls look visibly disappointed and tell their friends afterward. I once went home with a girl from a club who refused to sleep with me when she saw my penis. A week later, everybody at the club was talking about how small my penis is. I was distraught at the time but soon became aroused by the idea of girls laughing at it. It turns me on to think that these beautiful women know how small my penis is and think it couldn’t satisfy them, especially in a culture where we’re told that women desire large penises. In addition to this, when I am in a relationship, I often fantasize about my partner lusting after men with large penises and cuckolding me, making me watch them have sex.

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What about socially, among other guys?

Man A: I’m sure it would matter if I were sleeping with other men, but for the most part, it doesn’t come up organically when you’re hanging out with the fellas.

Man B: I still feel the need to hide my penis from other guys, in locker rooms. Whenever I go to public toilets, I always use the cubicles and not the urinals. I have the problem in that my penis is small whilst erect but tiny when flaccid. It doesn’t seem socially acceptable in male culture to have a small penis. Having a large penis seems manly, whilst having a little one does not. Jokes amongst males are often made about having large penises, and I’ve joined in through masculine obligation despite being aware of having a very small one.

Man C: I don’t think it matters much anymore. At school, it was an issue, but other than the occasional abusive message on Twitter (which doesn’t bother me), guys don’t really make fun of penis size much from what I see.

How does the size of your penis influence the way that you have sex?

Man A: I am definitely much more eager to perform oral sex before penetrative sex. This stems out of concern that I might not pleasure my partners sufficiently through just intercourse.

Man B: Because the girth of my penis is also small, I prefer sexual positions in which my partner’s vagina feels tighter. My favorite is a variation on doggy-style, in which after I’ve put my penis inside her, she closes her legs and I have my legs open. This creates a tighter feeling and gives me more pleasure. I’ve never managed to make a woman orgasm through penetrative sex, which means I spend a lot of time on foreplay, particularly oral sex. My partner enjoys the fact that I spend so much time with my face between her legs! When she is on top, she positions herself farther backward than she says she typically would. This means my penis is pushed forward somewhat, which she says helps it go deeper inside her and push against the front of her vagina more. I’ve also discovered that vibrating cock rings are friends.

Man C: I’m not too experienced, but missionary works okay. Doggy-style is okay if she leans back far enough. Girl-on-top is good for me, but they usually tell me that it doesn’t do anything for them. Spooning is no good—I’ve been asked a few times, “Is it in yet?” I once wore a strap-on for an ex. It was amazing seeing how differently she reacted to something so big in comparison.

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Do you ever wish your penis were larger?

Man A: Of course, who wouldn’t want to have a much bigger penis? I’m ultimately comfortable with my size now in the grand scheme of things, but if given the opportunity, I would change it.

Man B: Yes. I think I have suffered a low self-esteem because of having a small penis, but I’m trying to become less embarrassed by it and embrace it more. Talking it through with my girlfriend and getting the impression she really doesn’t mind has made me feel better. We have a healthy sex life and the culture we live in, of “big being better,” doesn’t tell the whole story. I have a small penis and I’m learning to be satisfied with it and accept it. Maybe one day, I will even be proud of it.

Man C: I used to, but not anymore. I became comfortable with it through the discovery of small penis humiliation, realizing that there was a recognized niche for what I have and what I enjoy sexually. As strange as it may sound, I’d actually like to reduce my size, if possible. I’ve looked into the possibility of dietary methods and physical exercises that could make my penis smaller, but apart from surgery, which I wouldn’t consider, there isn’t anything that will reduce it.

Is there anything you think people should know about guys with small penises?

Man A: It’s more common than you’d think. Men with “average” penises and smaller penises probably outnumber men with very large penises.

Man B: Don’t be put off, and be honest. If a guy has a small penis, he probably feels self-conscious about it. Put him at ease and it will probably make sex better for both of you. Oh, and try to avoid affectionate nicknames. My partner referred to my penis as “Wee Willie Winkie” once, and it didn’t go down well!

Man C: If you’re with somebody with a small penis, get to know him and make sure he gets to know you. Try to find things that work for you both. Don’t be afraid to ask questions or say if something isn’t working for you. I’d also like to say that despite my small penis and humiliation fetish, I’m actually a happy and outgoing person.

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Carina Hsieh Sex & Relationships Editor Carina Hsieh lives in NYC with her French Bulldog Bao Bao — follow her on Instagram and Twitter • Candace Bushnell once called her the Samantha Jones of Tinder • She enjoys hanging out in the candle aisle of TJ Maxx and getting lost in Amazon spirals. Taylor Andrews Taylor is one of the sex and relationship editors who can tell you exactly which vibrators are worth the splurge, why you’re still dreaming about your ex, and tips on how to have the best sex of your life (including what word you should spell with your hips during cowgirl sex)—oh, and you can follow her on Instagram here.

I Had Sex With A Guy With A Small Penis, And Here’s What Happened

I’ve never been one to demand that any man I meet have a big penis, because until you’ve been with someone who has a small one, it never really crosses your mind. But then I had sex with someone who had a small penis, and all that changed.

According to science, the average erect penis is 4.7 to 6.3 inches in length. Of course, being that this is just an average, penis size can vary greatly. If you live in the Congo, you’re likely to come across some pretty big penises, because the average size there is 7.1 inches. In contrast, the trophy for residents with the smallest average penises goes to North Korea, with 3.8 inches.

I never actually measured, but for guesstimation purposes, I’d say that his erect penis was a little longer than my thumb (under two inches) in length, and maybe a little larger than a roll of quarters in girth. So, considerably smaller than the average penis. I stuck around for a few months, and here’s what happened when I had sex with the small-penis guy.

1. I Was Initially Surprised

Andrew Zaeh for Bustle

I think I’ve gotten to a point where, like many of us, I’m desensitized to most things. However, when I reached down to touch his penis that very first time, I was surprised and confused about what I found, given that I’m accustomed to having sex with people of a more typical size. So I made my move south for a closer look, and even in the dimly-lit room, I could see that sex with him would be way different than what I was used to.

2. I Had To Teach Myself Not To Ask “Is It In?”

I know, I know. It’s a horrible thing to even think, let alone say, but sometimes I really had zero clue as to whether or not it was in there. I’d even clench my muscles, as if doing a Kegel, to see if I could feel it. And even then, I wouldn’t be totally sure. I’d have to subtly reach down, pretending I was stimulating myself for extra fun, to feel out if he was inside me or not. This was most especially the case in the missionary position.

3. We Did A lot Of Doggy Style

Doggy style was literally the only position in which I could actually feel him a bit. In fact, it got to the point that we only had penetrative sex that way, because I was legitimately scared that I’d accidentally ask at some point, “Is it in?”

4. I Became A Master Of “Deep Throating”

Andrew Zaeh for Bustle

To be honest, even with his entire penis in my mouth, there was no deep throat action going on, as he barely even reached the spot that induces gagging. But he loved that I could “deep throat” him, to use his words. Although no other guy has said it since, because I just can’t do that with anyone else.

5. I Learned To Enjoy Anal Sex

Before meeting this specific person, I had had anal sex maybe two or three times with my college boyfriend. I wasn’t a fan at all — a lot of which, I assume, had to do with his penis size. But when you’re not really feeling too much vaginally, you need to try something else. That something else was anal.

With anal, we both benefited. I got to actually feel something (and with zero pain!), and he got to actually feel something, too. Considering the size of his penis, I imagine that vaginal sex may not have produced as much friction as would have been ideal.

6. It Was The Only Time I Actually Loved Receiving Oral Sex

Andrew Zaeh for Bustle

I don’t like getting oral sex. Never have, and never will. However, this guy gave oral sex like you would not effing believe. I realize that every woman who’s ever been with a guy who has a small penis says the same thing, but it’s true. Not only was it fantastic, but he wanted to do it all the time. Which was awesome, because I wasn’t getting any sensation from intercourse. It was just … WOW.

7. I Realized That Saying It Was “Big” Was A Very Bad Idea

Although I’m sure that every person with a small penis is well aware of their shortcomings (pun!), I can’t imagine that many discuss it, or even want to bring attention to it. But this guy was very open about the fact that his dick was small. It wasn’t like he talked about it all the time, but it’s not like he ignored it, either.

But it was the first time he mentioned his size that things got awkward. I didn’t know what to say. Do I tell him I’ve seen smaller? Do I say that it feels bigger than it looks? What does a woman in this predicament do?!

So, being the occasional idiot I am, I said, “What are you talking about? It’s pretty big!” This, of course, led to an argument about how I was lying and just trying to make him feel better. Which was true, but what else was I supposed to say?

I realized then that some things just shouldn’t be discussed, ever. Especially if you’re just trying to be nice and it’s a total lie … and it’s about penis size.

Want more of Bustle’s Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions for small penises:

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Images: Andrew Zaeh for Bustle; Giphy(7)

What to Do If His Penis Too Small

Pop culture loves to poke fun at small penises-from New Girl to Sex and the City to Curb Your Enthusiasm-it seems like everyone is game to acknowledge the existence of the “micropenis” and all the awkwardness that might come with it. But there’s one thing seriously lacking in the prime-time peen coverage: How can you make it work if your partner isn’t the most well-endowed?

First of all, let’s talk about the definition of “small.” (Keep in mind that the average penis size is about 5 inches.) And as we pointed out before, size is relative; what’s too big, too small, or just right for you may be very different for someone else.

But when it comes to accepting that your dude is a more baby carrot than cucumber, or is simply smaller than you’d prefer, this first rule is important: Don’t point it out to him or make him feel self-conscious about it, says Shape sexpert Dr. Logan Levkoff. Chances are, he already knows that he’s not the biggest dude in the locker room.

Second: Don’t lose faith. Most women don’t orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone anyways, says Levkoff, so remember that P-in-V isn’t the be-all and end-all of your sexual experience. Like any other size issues (whether he’s big, you’re small, there’s a sizable height difference, etc.), strategically changing positions can help. If your partner’s size doesn’t quite tickle your fancy, Levkoff recommends missionary position, having him enter you from behind while you lie on your stomach, and squeezing your thighs so that you keep him inside of your body. And, BTW, you might want to stay clear of lube. If things get too wet and wild, it’ll make it easier for his penis to slip out. (And the most slipping out that’s happening, the most risk there is for a broken penis.)

Third: You’re dating the person, not the penis. So as funny as that New Girl episode might be, you’ve got to admit size really isn’t everything.

  • By Lauren Mazzo @lauren_mazzo

My Boyfriend Thinks He’s Too Small — What Should I Do? Tips For An Insecure Guy

We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist, to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off limits, and all questions will remain anonymous. Please send your sex and relationship inquiries to [email protected] Now, onto this week’s topic: what to do if your boyfriend thinks his penis is too small for you.

Q: “My boyfriend and I are really great with each other and love each other very much. There is a strong physical attraction between us, and we desire each other. He’s very experienced sexually, whereas I am not. I am a very plus size woman with thighs, stomach, butt, and breasts. He is average size. I get very wet when I am with him, and sometimes he slips out. He feels like his penis isn’t big enough for me, and he is very frustrated to the point where he feels like he is not pleasing me or can’t handle me. He says, ‘if I only had a few more inches.’ After love making sex my body feels good and I am on a high, until he tells me he’s doesn’t feel like he is pleasing me. I am the largest women he has ever been with, and he says that he has never had this problem before. What should we be doing differently?”

A: Thanks for the question! There are a lot of different dynamics wrapped up in your description, so let me hop right to it. Here are five things to know if your partner is worried about being too small.

Know That Being “Too Small” Is More Of A Male Concern Than A Female One

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One of the main issues at play here is that your boyfriend is concerned that his penis isn’t big enough. In your email, you didn’t mention your partner being particularly small, so I get a sense that this is more his insecurity than your own concern. There are few issues that evoke more sensitivity, insecurity, and anxiety for men than penis size. (Google “penis enlargement” and you’ll get a sense of just how desperate a lot of men out there are.)

But the thing is, the overwhelming majority of men are perfectly fine in this department. Let’s look at the actual anatomy of intercourse: The average penis is about five inches. The average woman’s vaginal canal is only three to four inches in length. The vaginal canal does lengthen when you’re aroused and when you’re in the midst of childbirth (isn’t the vagina so cool?), but it’s still pretty small overall. Most penis sizes will do just fine.

Of course, some women do have preferences for larger or girthier penises, but that doesn’t mean they can’t feel pleasure from an average-sized one. Plus, just as many women don’t actually feel much pleasure from intercourse, so they would prefer their partner to have a more agile tongue rather than a bigger penis. The bottom line? It’s normal for your partner to wish he had a bigger penis, but that’s not the problem here.

Reassure Him That Slippage Is Normal

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At this point, you may be thinking, “but if his penis is big enough, why does he keep slipping out of me?” It’s really important for both of you to recognize that slippage is a totally normal, natural part of having intercourse. So normal that I wrote a whole article about it!

All couples, of all sizes, will experience slippage during intercourse. I would suggest bringing this up with your boyfriend by saying something like, “I was actually doing some research on slippage, and I learned that it’s normal, I know it’s something you worry about a lot, but I think we should try to forget about it in the moment and just keep going! That sounds much hotter to me than us getting all worked up about it in the moment.”

Figure Out How Your Bodies Fit Together

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You mentioned in your email that you’re a curvy lady, and it seems like you’re worried that your voluptuousness is part of the problem. Let me be perfectly clear: it’s not! People of all sizes, shapes, and abilities can have pleasurable sex. Your curves deserve to be celebrated.

The issue here is not that you’re “too big” for him or he’s “too small” for you, but that the two of you have to figure out how your bodies work best together. Again, some slippage is normal. But if he’s sliding out every other minute, it’s probably a sign that the particular position you guys are in isn’t working for your bodies. You can try little tricks like pulling your legs together, or using pillows to help change the angle.

Check out the plus sized wedge from Liberator, which provides nice, firm support. Or try different positions. Doggystyle is fantastic for creating a tight fit, and can be great for curvier ladies. Another good position is to lie on your side, and have him enter you as if he was in Missionary. You can also try out the doggy style strap from Sportsheets, which helps your partner hold your bodies together and get deeper penetration.

Give Him More Feedback

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It sounds like your boyfriend is feeling insecure. Like I said above, there are few things in this world that can make men more insecure than penis size — and we’re all concerned about sexual performance. Your boyfriend has to work out some of those issues on his own, but you can also be a supportive partner by giving him lots of praise.

When you’re having intercourse, tell him how good you feel. Be specific. You can also take some of the pressure off of his penis by giving him feedback about the other ways he pleases you. A lot of straight men tend to forget that their penis isn’t the only way to please a woman (and again, some women don’t even like intercourse all that much!). Give him lots of praise when he kisses your neck, goes down on you, or uses his hands on your breasts or clit.

Know That This Is About Trust, Too

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Last but certainly not least, it sounds like another one of the major issues between you and your boyfriend is that he doesn’t believe you when you tell him that you enjoy being intimate with him. You’re telling him that you feel good, and he’s cutting you off by complaining about his penis size and performance. I suspect that this is mostly due to his self-consciousness, but it’s still messed up that he’s disregarding your feelings. I would suggest that you try talking to him about this when you guys are outside of the bedroom.

Reassure him that you enjoy being intimate with him. You can let him know that you want to continue learning and exploring new things in the bedroom, but that you’re still happy with things just the way they are. Say something like, “I’m on a natural high after we have sex. I feel so good. But then when you start complaining that you haven’t pleased me, it brings me down from cloud nine. It feels like you don’t believe me, but need you to trust me when I tell you I’ve enjoyed myself.”

You can also bring up the size issue by saying something like, “I know you get worried about your size, but that’s your thing, not mine. I love your penis.” If you have had any struggles with body image yourself, maybe this is a chance for the two of you to empathize with each other, and help each other recognize that you love each others’ bodies just the way they are.

Wishing you the best of luck!

Images: Andrew Zaeh/Bustle; Giphy

My man’s too small to satisfy me

Nekia Walker

Published May 22, 2017 at 8:00 am (Updated May 22, 2017 at 1:02 am)

  • Size matters: when it comes to function, the size of a penis does not matter because it is still able to become erect, penetrate and impregnate a female. However, when we are talking about pleasure, size and technique play important roles

Dear Dr Nekia,

I am dating a man who’s penis is just too small for me. He is a good guy and he treats me very well, but sexually I am not satisfied. I really do not want to have to break things off with him because of this one flaw. We have had vague conversations surrounding the topic and he is confident so I really think that he believes that he is at least average. How do I tell him how I feel? I really do not want to hurt his feelings.

Sincerely,

Size Matters

Dear Size Matters,

When it comes to function, the size of a penis does not matter because it is still able to become erect, penetrate and impregnate a female. However, when we are talking about pleasure, size and technique play important roles. If your guy is anatomically too small for you, you will have to let him know.

Unfortunately, most men will not take this news well. You will have to be creative with your words. Be sure to let him know that you don’t think he is inadequate, but that you would like to explore how you can make sex more pleasurable for both of you.

It is important to concentrate on positions that encourage the pelvis to be close together and the vagina tightened, for maximum penetration. Keep in mind, the more you arch your back the greater tilt your pelvis will have, which allows for greater penetration. Brush up on your Kegel and vaginal exercises to make sure that your vagina is nice and taut, and put these muscles to use during sexual intercourse.

If you still find yourself unsatisfied, you can consider purchasing an extension sleeve that fits directly over the penis. There are sleeves that add both length and girth. Some are colourful, some vibrate and others are made of cyber skin materials if you prefer a more realistic feel. Furthermore, most sleeves are mutually stimulating so that both partners receive pleasure.

Do a bit of research ahead of time so that when you do have this sensitive talk with him, you have options to present to him.

Of course, he may feel uneasy about things at first, but if you focus more on the things that will improve your sex life rather than the fact that his size is not what you would like it to be, you stand a greater chance for things to go a bit smoother than you are anticipating.

If you feel that he is too sensitive or prideful a man, you could always opt not to tell him and present him with sexual suggestions anyhow. This way he will just think that you want to spice things up a bit and try new things. It’s probably better that you tell him so that you can work towards a common goal, but the choice is yours.

Dear Dr Nekia,

My father-in-law to be does not like me. My fiancée is a daddy’s girl and I never really had any problem with that until we got engaged. Ever since I put a ring on her finger, her dad has become extra intrusive and needy. He calls her almost every day and if he is not asking for her help, he is offering his help even when she doesn’t want or need it. I have told her how I feel about it, but she thinks that it is adorable the way her dad wants to be so close to her all the time. I do not mind him coming around or asking for our help — and I fully expect for them to carry on their relationship — but he is making it seem as though I cannot take care of his daughter. He even keeps asking her if she is sure that she wants to marry me. They have always been close and he has never really liked any of her serious boyfriends. How can I get him to back off, and let me be the man in his daughter’s life?

Sincerely,

Daddy’s Girl

Dear Daddy’s Girl,

As a daddy’s girl myself, I can relate to the closeness that your fiancée enjoys with her father. When parents and children have a really close bond, it can be difficult for their relationship to change appropriately, as they go through the various stages of life.

Many parents become distraught over having to let their children live their own lives; many children are crippled as adults because they cannot navigate life without the aid and approval of their parents. It is as though they get so attached that they do everything to avoid or minimise situations that will require any degree of separation within their relationship. One such situation most certainly is marriage.

I do not think that it is you that her father does not like, but rather it is what you represent. Here you are declaring your love and showing your commitment by requesting to be her husband.

Her father may be having difficulty facing the reality that his daughter now has another man to depend on. For an attached father, this could be very traumatic. He may be clinging on so tightly because he fears that he will no longer be as important to her.

You should try to have a man-to-man conversation with him in order to ease these fears. Assure him of your love for his daughter, your ability to care for her and your respect for him as her father. Try to get across to him that you are not taking his place and that he is not losing a daughter.

Your fiancée will also have to be willing to cut the strings that bind her to her father so closely. She must learn to confide in, trust in and depend on you to be the primary man in her life.

The more her father trusts that you are a suitable man for his daughter and that he will be able to remain a significant part of her life, the more likely that he will come to terms with the marriage.

Encourage your fiancée to gradually set boundaries with her father until he no longer interferes with your day-to-day lives. Hopefully, with her support, daddy dearest will eventually be able to find happiness in his daughter’s happiness with you. If she is reluctant to create some space from her father, you may have to become a bit stern with your approach. Set rules, while letting her know that you are not trying to come in between the two of them but that you want there to be some space so you can create a marital life together.

•Want relationship advice? E-mail [email protected]

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Published May 22, 2017 at 8:00 am (Updated May 22, 2017 at 1:02 am)

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My partner’s penis is too small

Many men obsess over the size of their penis whatever their age, from the changing room at secondary school to the changing room at the gym. There are many myths concerning penis size, leading to some men being insecure, as well as having body image and performance issues.

This age old question is asked constantly, causing anxiety for men who worry that their penis size is not satisfying for their partner. However, recently the BJU International Journal of Urology 2015 found that only 2.28% of men have what is to be considered as an abnormally small penis.

Size does matter to some women, but the majority are quite happy with what they’ve got. Even though many surveys show that women aren’t concerned about how big their partner’s penis is, many men worry about their size.

A study of over 14,000 men and women by Dr Kristen Mark, Assistant professor of Health Promotion at University of Kentucky, revealed that it’s not about your size, but what you do with it. He found that 45% of men wanted a bigger penis, yet 66% of all respondents agreed that size didn’t matter, whereas performance and creativity did.

Recent research from UCLA and Cal State LA (2014) found that 84% of women feel “very satisfied” with their man’s penis size, 14% wished it was bigger and 25% would prefer their partner to have a smaller penis. The survey was completed by 26,437 women aged between 18-65, and while it was a self selected group, it was large enough to allay concerns about demographic representation.

For many, the concern for them was the duration of sexual intercourse, not penis size. Many women wished that sexual intercourse would last longer, as it often left them unsatisfied. Moreover, 45% of men said they didn’t last as long as they’d like to, leaving their partners sexually unfulfilled.

So what can you do if your partner has a small penis?

If you aren’t being sexually satisfied by the size of your partner, before suggesting surgery, consider his diet and lifestyle as these can impact upon sexual function, penis size and firmness. Using a penis pump and cock ring are non invasive and can improve size and firmness of erections too.

Non invasive ways to increase the size of your penis

Being overweight can make a man’s penis appear shorter as fat accumulates in the lower abdomen. According to Dr Ira Shalip, clinical professor of urology at the University of California, this can affect the apparent size of the penis. A large pre-pubic fat pad can make the penile shaft look shorter, effectively burying the penis.

Many men will gain at least an inch in size by simply losing weight.

A poor diet can cause heart attacks due to fatty deposits sticking to the lining of the arteries around the heart, restricting blood flow in the coronary arteries and can also impede the blood flow to and within the penis, preventing it from becoming erect.

Studies have found that erectile dysfunction is relatively uncommon in men who eat a traditional Mediterranean diet, which includes fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts, olives and wine, particularly red meat (K. Esposito et al, 2006).

Exercise regularly

Exercising regularly will not only make you feel better, boosting your sexual self confidence, but can also help with weight loss, reduce high blood pressure, as well as stress and anxiety, improving overall health and well-being. Any form of aerobic exercise that increases your heart rate is beneficial, including cycling, running, brisk walking and swimming.

Engage your pelvic floor

Being fit will improve your performance in the bedroom too. Men have a pelvic floor, just like women, but very few men are aware that doing pelvic floor exercises can increase penile hardness and rigidity, improving the quality of your erections. It is recommended that you seek advice from a physiotherapist trained in men’s health to instruct you how to do these exercises correctly.

Using a penis pump

Often considered a gimmick, some penis pumps, such as the Bathmate Hydromax can help improve the size of your penis and quality of erections too. The saying “use it or lose it” is true and the penis needs to be exercised to keep it functioning properly.

By using a hydro pump for 15 minutes as part of your daily shower or bath routine, you can help avoid erectile dysfunction and improve your sexual performance.

Most men who regularly use penis pumps experience more pronounced growth in the girth of their penis than in the length of their penis, which many women find to be more important for sexual stimulation than overall length.

Wear a cock ring

Wearing a cock ring during sexual intercourse can increase the size of your penis and make your erection last longer. Cock rings come in many designs, from simple stretchy silicone rings like the Rocks Off Rudy Rings and Dr Rocco’s Cox’s Cog to vibrating rings such as the Je Joue Mio, which offers waves of vibrations through your penis and for your partner.

The Screaming O Combo Kit includes a Screaming O Charged Vooom Bullet vibe powered by a unique 10-function low-pitch motor that rumbles rather than buzzes for a deeper sensation and the two easy-to-use attachments.

You can slip the ABS plastic bullet into the very stretchy two-sided cock ring to enjoy vibrating enhancement with a partner, worn around just the penis or both penis and testicles, use the bullet in the finger sleeve to transform your fingertip into a powerful sex toy or just enjoy the bullet on its own.

They are not suitable for men who experience circulatory problems and should never be worn for more than 30 minutes.

Mix it up

Rather than being concerned about the size of his penis, couples should concentrate on talking to each other about what they both want sexually and explore new ways in which to enjoy sexual intimacy and pleasure, such as using sexual lubricant, incorporating sex toys into their sex play and trying new positions.

Explore ways to orgasm

The vagina stretches to accommodate whatever is put inside it, including the penis. It is the way in which you have sexual intercourse that matters, not size.Most men consider their penis size to indicate length, but many women prefer a penis that is shorter in length but larger in girth.

When a woman is close to orgasming, her vagina will constrict, squeezing and tightening around the penis. If you want to increase friction and tightness, try positions where the woman has her legs together.

If you also do pelvic floor exercises, this will tighten the floor of the vagina, making it feel tighter and your orgasms more intense.

The majority of women orgasm through clitoral stimulation, therefore penis size isn’t necessarily an issue. Learning how to stimulate your clitoris and showing your partner too, is important either through manual masturbation or using sex toys.

The G-spot, situated just inside the vagina, should not a problem for a smaller man. If your partner is struggling to orgasm during sexual intercourse, why not spend time more time on foreplay, enjoying mutual masturbation or using sex toys, you can enjoy an orgasm before having penetrative sex.

Sexual Positions for a smaller penis

The usual missionary position doesn’t allow for really deep thrusting and penetration so try Coital Alignment Technique (CAT).

This is a variation on the missionary position that stimulates the G-spot as well as the clitoris and encourages simultaneous orgasms.

You start out in the normal missionary position but with your partner resting his full weight on you, not on his elbows. Then he moves about two inches forward so that his pelvis is over yours. With your legs around his thighs, you press up as he moves backward so that you feel gentle but direct stimulation. The key is in the pressure and counter pressure and the rhythmic coordination of movement, a slow, gentle rocking, rather than thrusting in and out.

You have to be rhythmic, controlled — and patient, you never just ride or collapse.

When employing this technique, the base of his penis will directly stimulate your clitoris making it easier for her to orgasm and making the size of the penis a non-issue.This is a technique which gets better results with practice.

Doggy Style

This is the perfect position for a man with a smaller penis as it allows for deeper penetration, stimulating the G-spot and access to the clitoris during intercourse. Either your partner or yourself can rub your clitoris using their fingers and a small clitoral vibrator.

Modified Doggy style

Rather than being on all fours, lie on your front and allow your partner to penetrate you from behind but keep your legs together, effectively squeezing your vagina and making it tighter. Getting him to thrust both inwards and upwards, he’s likely to stimulate your G-spot too. You can even move against the bed to stimulate your clitoris at the same time.

On top

Taking control on top puts you in control as to how deep you want to go, the angle of penetration and offers the perfect amount of clitoral stimulation. Allowing deep penetration can increase G-spot stimulation too. Even better, a vibrating cock ring can be enjoyed by both of you, especially if you are on top. It will also make your partner bigger and harder which will intensify both your pleasure.

Swivel your hips

Whatever the position you choose, thrusting in and out will not offer you much sexual sensation so try swivelling your hips and grinding against his pelvic bone to stimulate both your clitoris and G-spot.

Using pillow, cushions or specially designed wedges that raise your hips will allow for deeper penetration.

Being creative with your sex life and getting your partner to improve his diet and lifestyle is your way to enjoying more pleasurable sex. It is what you do with it that matters, not how big it is: so stop worrying and start enjoying sex.

You Asked It: Is My Penis Too Small?

I’m in my first relationship and I’m getting really anxious about the way my penis looks, especially its size. I’m worried about how my partner will react when they see me naked. What should I do?

It’s very common for young people (and people of any age) to feel insecure about their body sometimes. And while a lot of conversations about body image focus on girls, boys are definitely not immune!

Getting naked around someone else can be nerve-wracking for anyone, no matter what their body looks like. It can be especially anxiety-producing if it’s with someone new, or if sex itself is new. After all, being naked with someone else is a really vulnerable experience!

When it comes to penis size, there’s some extra baggage that you may be dealing with. Having a “large” penis is associated with being “manlier” (whatever that means), and being able to please your partner. On top of that, mainstream porn usually shows only extremely large penises, making many people with average (and even larger-than-average) penises think they’re small.

Here’s the thing. Your penis has nothing to do with who you are as a person, the way you treat your partner or your ability to make them feel good during sex.

Just like other body parts, penises come in all shapes and sizes. The length, width, shape, way it bends, how hairy it is, where it points when it gets erect (or hard) and more all vary a ton! In addition, some people are circumcised (meaning the foreskin that covers the head of the penis is removed, usually for cultural or religious reasons), and some people are not. Both are completely normal and ok!

If you haven’t already, consider talking to your partner about how you’re feeling. This is an opportunity to build emotional intimacy that goes beyond the physical. How much detail you go into about what you’re feeling is totally up to you. If your partner is kind and supportive, hopefully it will make you feel more confident about yourself and closer to your partner. Chances are that they have insecurities of their own, and can relate to how you’re feeling.

If they react (to your conversation or to seeing you naked) with judgment or unkindness, think hard about your relationship. Do you really want to be physically or emotionally intimate with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself? Healthy relationships are built on trust, respect and kindness, and you deserve a healthy relationship.

Feeling good about and comfortable in your body might take time and work.

That’s completely normal, and you’re not alone. Pay attention to the way you talk to yourself about your body. Recognize when you’re putting yourself down, and try to think about things that you like about your body instead. We talk more about body image here.

In addition, it’s very possible that your nervousness about your body is wrapped up in nervousness about sex. Having sex with someone new, or for the first time, is bound to create some nerves. That’s normal and ok. But if you’re feeling seriously anxious about it, think hard about whether you want to have sex with your partner right now. Different people are ready for sex at different times, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to wait. It’s all about what works for you and your partner.

When you do decide to have sex, make sure to use a condom the right way, every time. There are lots of different sizes, textures and flavors out there, so don’t worry if you have to try a few to find one that works best for you.

If you’re 10-22 years old and have any other questions about sex, healthy relationships or self-esteem, you can make a free, confidential appointment at the Mount Sinai Adolescent Health Center for completely non-judgmental health care.

Right, we’re not going to beat around the bush. There are dos and don’ts when it comes to scrutinising your genitals and they must be addressed.

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First, stop looking at it from your lofty vantage point – ie from above. That’s not how she sees it and it gives you a false impression of size. Second, measure it properly. Most men underestimate the size of their penis. In a study at the University of Pittsburgh, US, 26 per cent of men gauged their own penis size as below average, and only 5 per cent ticked the above average box. What’s more, research from the University of Saskatchewan, Canada, showed that 86 per cent of men said their penis size worries vanished after they were educated about penis size.

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Here comes your education. Grab a tape measure and a ruler. Now measure your penis properly following the instructions below, and compare it to size averages (based on studies in the US and Australia).

4 Ways to Measure Your Penis Properly

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1. Your standby length

To check your flaccid length, undress and measure it immediately. Because a cold or warm room can cause shrinkage or growth, you need to do this before room temperature affects your pride and joy. “Position the tip of the ruler gently against the point where the shaft meets the abdomen,” says urologist Dr Hunter Wessells, who has studied penis size. Then simply bend the ruler along the shaft and read the length. An average length is 3.43 inches. Breathe a big sigh of relief.

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2. Your erect length

Get hard and measure it quick. Again, get the ruler on to your penis as soon as you become fully erect. Now measure the top of your erection, ie the side furthest from your testicles, and check the figure at the tip of your shaft, holding the ruler against your penis base. An average length here is 5.03 inches.

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3. Your erect girth

Maintaining your erection, wrap a tape measure around your penis at its base. An average size here is 5.14 inches around.

4. Your erection angle

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With your back against a wall and a mirror in side view, estimate your angle. A 90-degree angle would point directly out in front, 180 degrees up at your chin. An average angle is 105.7 degrees – slightly up from horizontal.

If your penis just doesn’t add up to the mighty girth of the porn stars on your laptop screen, you’d be forgiven for assuming you have a micro penis. But what is the average penis size, and does it really matter what size your manhood is as long as you’re still enjoying yourself?

GP and sexual health expert Dr Anand Patel looks at the size and psychology of penis size and if your proportions really are a cause for concern:

Do all men worry about penis size?

Humans are pretty well-endowed. Well, if you compare them to apes at least. Only the chimpanzee has a longer penis, and no monkey beats man when it comes to girth. But the average chap worries a lot about the size of his manhood, and always has done.

For centuries the penis has been revered as a symbol of power, masculinity, intelligence and accomplishment. And attempting to modify (and enlarge) the organ isn’t a modern pursuit either.

For centuries the penis has been revered as a symbol of power, masculinity and accomplishment.

Holy men in India tried stretching theirs with weights. And no less painful was an ancient Brazilian tradition, where snakes were encouraged to bite a man’s member to enlarge it.

In some Australian indigenous tribes the phallus was divided in two, and in Borneo creating holes in which to insert objects was also once common place.

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What is the average penis size?

According to results from a 2015 study (in the British Journal of Urology), the average erect penis is 13.12cm (or 5.21 inches) long and 11.66cm (or 4.59 inches) around.

But what’s considered ‘medically small’? Well, only 2.28 per cent of the population fall under this category and that’s defined as an erect penis under 7cm (or 2.76 inches). While many men wish for a larger phallus (45 per cent in fact), it’s those with distinctly average penises who tend to worry about it more than males with genuinely small ones.

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The dangers of penis size comparison

Size isn’t everything. There have been trends for the smaller penis too. For instance, in around 400 BC Aristophanes described the idealised Greek male as having: ‘a gleaming chest, bright skin, broad shoulders, tiny tongue, strong buttocks and a tiny prick’. A larger penis, on the other hand, was considered brutal, comical and even grotesque.

There is now a huge number of penises available on the internet for a boy or man to measure himself against.

So men have been obsessing about their penises for thousands of years! But what has changed in recent times is the number men can compare their own to.

Once the only males you might have seen naked were family or fellow schoolmates after PE, but there is now a huge number of penises available on the internet for a boy or man to measure himself against.

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Should you worry about your penis size?

In a word, no. It’s a worrying trend, specifically because for some who consider themselves abnormally small, it can become a deeply destructive body dysmorphia. But in reality, the majority of men who worry about it are completely adequately sized.

So it’s the perception of what’s considered normal that needs addressing, as well as the behaviours that some may have developed as a result of their belief. These can include:

  • Avoiding relationships
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Considering procedures to enlarge their member

Men need to remember that while a penis in online porn certainly serves as a sign of virility and masculinity, it is also a stunt object. It’s just not fair to compare it to the reality of the average phallus.

But that won’t stop them seeing genitals in pornography as a stick to measure themselves against. For instance, a recent online study, conducted by Dr Ed, looked at a man’s average penis size versus what he considered the ideal to be. The results showed that most men’s ideal length was consistently longer than average. So why do many people now seem to believe that the standard size simply isn’t big enough?

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What do women want?

So how much of a difference does size make when it comes to sex anyway? Researchers found that although there was a positive relationship between men who had a larger penis and their sense of sexual competence, this doesn’t necessarily marry up with the female preference.

The majority (85 per cent) of women are totally happy with their partner’s size.

Studies have shown up to 90 per cent of women prefer width to length anyway. The average vagina is only 10 cm deep; so most men and women fit together fine.

The majority (85 per cent) of women are totally happy with their partner’s size. It means the real dissatisfaction is mostly in men’s heads, rather than reality.

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Can you increase your penis size?

Some patients consider penis extenders (stretching devices or even use a technique called jelqing. But such measures can cause permanent damage and lead to erectile failure. They also aren’t terribly successful. Occasionally patients consider surgery, but there’s only a limited amount of length one can gain. In several studies, only 25 per cent of men who had surgery were pleased with the outcome.

I hope this has been reassuring but if you’re still worried about the size of your penis, do consider speaking with a doctor or therapist. Psychological interventions are incredibly helpful at supporting and helping men who are negatively focused on how they measure up.

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Further help and support

If your penis size is getting you down, ask your GP for advice or try one of the following resources:

  • The Samaritans: a charity providing support to anyone in emotional distress.
  • Mind: a charity that makes sure no one has to face a mental health problem alone.
  • CALM: helping to reduce stigma and reduce rates of male suicide.
  • Call the national sexual health line 0300 123 7123.
  • Call Worth Talking About on 0300 123 2930 (for under-18s).

Dr Anand Patel – MB BS Bsc (Lond) PGCME MRCP MRCGP(2007) FECSM DFFP GP and sexual health expert Dr Anand Patel is a GP specialising in sexual problems in men and women of all ages.

67 Women On “Does Dick Size Matter?”

1. Meryl, 28

A super small/soft dick isn’t going to do anything but a huge dick hurts, usually, so like, it just needs to be normal sized/hard/he’s into it.

2. Jennifer, 28

It doesn’t matter to me as long as it isn’t too big or too small.

3. Ali, 22

I don’t want to be scared of it. Average is your friend.

4. Ashley, 26

It depends on a lot of factors — for me, it matters because I’m short so a dick that’s too big (read: long) definitely hurts in the “ow, you’re hitting my stomach” kind of way. But one that’s too small–you know, small enough to get lost in his pubic hair–doesn’t do anything for me (legit asked, ‘is it in?’). But essentially, it comes down to whether or not he knows how to use it…cliche, I know, but it’s the truth.

5. Eve, 28

Yes, my ex had a very short one that was thick and it did nothing for me.

6. Alex, 28

My last boyfriend had a long but super skinny one, which was weird. I don’t think it matters in general.

7. Tiffany, 27

I honestly can’t really tell if it’s bigger or smaller than the last guy or what’s “average.” I mean I would notice if it was huge or tiny, I think, but that’s never happened to me. They all look pretty much the same and I think the difference is if a guy knows how to fuck.

8. Lacey, 29

It doesn’t matter as much as whether a guy is good in bed.

9. Rachel, 26

One guy was TOOOO big. It felt like someone trying to fit their entire body inside me. He was literally like if someone was like “here let me put this jar of tomato sauce inside you.” Jeez, I’d love to but NO I FUCKING PHYSICALLY CAN’T.

10. Amy, 26

Not unless it’s giant or tiny. I like the happy medium 😉

11. Steph, 28

The first guy I was with had what I thought was probably a pretty big dick but he kept being like “look at this big dick I am fucking you with” so it was bad.

12. Nikki, 27

’s dick was literally a chapstick. Like a baby. The sex was so awful.

13. Lindsey, 26

It’s not size that makes a guy good. Or bad.

14. Jamie, 24

I think a guy with a big dick is more confident, so he’s better in bed.

15. Kristin, 30

It only matters if it’s too extreme one way.

16. Jackie, 24

Not unless I am doing it wrong?

17. Laura, 25

Uhhh yeah it does.

18. Jen, 26

To an extent, I don’t want a thumb.

19. Tina, 29

Dick size is wayyyy down the list when it comes to whether a guy is good in bed: confidence, rhythm, making me comfortable, attraction—those are all much more important.

20. Tori, 25

Um, I don’t really care as long as it isn’t weird looking.

21. Megan, 30

I don’t care about dick size really.

22. Lisa, 35

Making good or bad sex about dick size is a sad excuse for people who won’t figure out how to have good sex. It’s very rare that you can’t figure out how to have good sex with a guy, it’s just that you can’t do the same thing with different body types and expect it to feel the same.

23. Rachel, 25

I’ve never had too big, but I’ve had too small. So yes.

24. Jessica, 29

No. Guys are too hung up on this.

25. Dina, 28

A guy with a smaller penis is more attractive than a guy with a bigger penis who needs you to be all in awe of what he thinks is some cosmic accomplishment but really is just genes or biology or whatever.

26. Lucy, 21

I don’t think so…

27. Shannon, 25

I think it would be awkward to be with a guy with a small penis. It’s the elephant in the room.

28. Danielle, 27

I would be grossed out, but I would get over it. It wouldn’t affect my feelings towards the guy.

29. Kendra, 28

I think every girl holds her breathe a little bit because she doesn’t want to be with a guy with a weird penis for the rest of her life. But it’s only bad if it’s really irregular, otherwise it doesn’t matter at all.

30. Sarah, 20

It doesn’t matter the size as much as it does how you use it I think.

31. Danielle, 23

It could only make me like a guy more if he has a nice penis, but not less if he isn’t going to be a penis model anytime soon.

32. Amanda, 31

I honestly don’t really notice. I’ve seen a ton of dicks in my life and they all pretty much look and feel the same.

33. Sophie, 24

It’s not a dealbreaker unless it’s really small but in general, the bigger the better, within reason.

34. Amanda, 25

As a petite girl I can attest to the fact that big dicks are overrated. There are rare exceptions of men with honed skills that make it less likely to be painful, but usually you occupy yourself with taking so many precautions (positions, depth, etc) that in the end you just sort of lose the mood. Average is perfect in my book.

35. Martha, 28

It mostly doesn’t matter, except in the rare parabolic extremes like the top and bottom 1 percent.

36. Marie, 28

I’ve never experienced either extreme so as far as my life is concerned the answer is “it doesn’t matter.”

37. Laura, 18

I don’t think so.

38. Amy, 30

Really huge is scary, but because I like tall slender white guys I’ve never encountered that.

39. Stacey, 30

It doesn’t matter unless it’s small.

40. Jen, 27

As long as I don’t have to ask if it’s in, I am happy.

41. Penelope, 30

It doesn’t matter at all.

42. Cara, 23

I’ve never had sex so I don’t really know, I think it’s not aesthetically pleasing if it’s smaller though. But it does make oral sex way easier.

43. Megan, 25

I prefer them to be on the big side.

44. Angie, 33

In a perfect world, they’re all medium size.

45. Amanda, 26

When I think about the good sex I have had and the bad sex I’ve had, there’s no correlation between what size they were. So I’d say no.

46. Jane, 26

To me yes, but I know most women don’t care.

47. Liz, 26

Ultimately guys can (and should IMO) compensate in other ways if they’re lacking in size or stamina, etc.

48. Marissa, 26

No. Prime example: Joe used magnum condoms and Mathias didn’t, but Mathias was a better lover.

49. Sandy, 26

Limitedly, yes. There’s a range in which it doesn’t really matter at all, but there is such a thing as too big or too small. And girth is generally more relevant than length, but again, with a range.

50. Britney, 30

It doesn’t matter to me, we’re talking about a person I have to like very much already at the point I am seeing their dick.

51. Vicki

The truth? Size matters. If you have more, you can do less and still satisfy a woman. In other words, it’s the meat, not the motion.

52. Wren

I’d say it’s more about the size of a man’s tongue, if you know what I’m sayin’. (Oral sex is KEY.)

53. Avigail

Too small—still hungry, too big—tummy ache.

54. Ariana

Yes, it matters. I don’t want to have to be telling a man to stop tickling me. I need to feel my man waayyy up.

55. Judione

I always hear people say it’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean. Well, if that’s the case a lot of men drown out at sea. I’m not looking for a cruise ship, but at the same time I need a decent size boat to ride the rough seas.

56. Colleen

I’d like to say it doesn’t, but it does to an extent. However, it’s less length and more girth?

57. Jen

As long as you can feel it and I mean decently feel it, then it doesn’t matter that much. There’s nothing sadder than having to ask if it’s in when it IS in—it’s just super uncomfortable and embarrassing for both.

58. Ana

Sorry to anyone who wants to believe otherwise but, yes, size does matter. A small penis can’t create the same sensation that a larger one can, and it can make certain maneuvers difficult—it might fall out during doggy style or when switching positions, for example.

59. Jenn

Girth is important. Length, less so. I’ve personally never come across one that was too short or too long, but I have met one that was too skinny, and this was when I was 20, so it’s obviously not an issue of me being ‘old,’ ‘loose,’ or ‘stretched out,’ as some butthurt dudes might assume.

60. Joy

I’ve been with just over a dozen men whose penises ranged from 5 inches to 14 inches and were of various girth. Size does matter when it comes to having an orgasm through intercourse, and length is less important than girth. My personal preference would be 9 to 10 inches and thick enough that I can’t quite close my hand around it. This size affords me the ability to have vaginal orgasms in multiple positions and isn’t so large that fellatio is a challenge.

61. Aliza

I can’t handle them if they’re too big. I’m fragile and it definitely is way more painful than pleasurable if a guy is huge. At the same time, you don’t want someone too small that you can barely feel or enjoy. A good average penis tends to do the trick for me.

62. Michelle

It matters. I dated a guy with a penis the size of my pinky, and sometimes I wasn’t even sure if we were having sex. The whole big hands, big feet thing is a total lie. He doesn’t need a foot-long, 4-inch-round penis, but there’s got to be something substantial.

63. Rachel

As long as you’re not under average, I’d say no. We’re not going to be disappointed if you don’t whip out an anaconda.

64. Cristina

Size doesn’t matter unless you’re either really big or really small. This is the one area of life where it is completely acceptable — in fact, preferred — to be average. Average is good. If I reach down there and feel a basic 5-6 inch snake, I’m happy. I’m excited, even. 1. Because every girl’s worst nightmare is going home with a guy with a micropenis and 2. Because I won’t have to fake enjoying a guy’s footlong ramming into my cervix for half an hour. Neither of those situations are ideal. Average penises are the best.

65. JL

I look down.

He’s hard.

And he’s tiny.

Erect, he’s probably about the length of my middle finger and the width of a baby carrot. Although it’s not a micropenis—I mean, I can see it—it’s definitely the smallest I’ve encountered and absolutely at odds with what I expected from his broad-shouldered, rugby-player-like build. My heart falls to my stomach in disappointment as I drop onto my knees, wondering if his penis will look larger up close. I cautiously take it in my mouth as he moans thankfully. I can still easily talk, simply shifting his penis, straw-like, to the side of my mouth. ‘Feel good?’

I murmur, the question mark at the end of the sentence begging for this situation to end. In response, he pulls me up and onto the bed. ‘It’s a bit small, isn’t it?’ he says as he pulls out a condom. It’s not so much a question as a statement of fact. ‘It only matters what you do with it,’ I say, trying to be encouraging as I guide him into me. I can barely feel him thrusting, and he keeps slipping out. He orgasms. I don’t.

66. Karley

I don’t want to sugarcoat it: I know that for some girls, including my bookish writer friend, small dicks are a dealbreaker. And that’s fine, because we all have our own personal preferences. I won’t deny that I’ve been in situations in the past where a guy’s lack of size certainly didn’t help matters. However, I can sooner imagine myself seriously dating a guy with a small dick than I can a guy who’s shorter than I am—that’s just me.

67. Britney, 30

I once met this guy with a really small one, and the first thing that came to my mind was whether Guinness Book of World Records knew about him. We had sex once and it was terrible.

The tally:

It doesn’t matter as long as it’s not too big or too small: 27
It doesn’t matter at all: 29
The bigger, the better: 11

The penis reaches adult size over a number of years during puberty (the years during adolescence when boys and girls grow and change to become adult men and women). A boy who matures more slowly than his friends will not get an adult-size penis until late in adolescence – and this may cause anxiety or make him feel as though he has an abnormally small penis.

It is also worth noting that a man’s penis may change size considerably depending on time of day, temperature, and factors other than sexual stimulation or excitement. During sexual stimulation or excitement, the penis becomes engorged with blood and stands erect – but there is a wide variation in normal size and shape and angle for an erect penis also. In some men, the erect penis is almost the same size as the flaccid (soft or non-erect) penis, while in other men the erect penis is much longer and wider than the flaccid penis. You cannot tell by looking at a man’s flaccid penis what size it will be when erect.

As a general rule, the size of the penis does not determine a sexual partner’s satisfaction with a sexual experience. That usually depends much more on the relationship between the two people and on both partners trying to make each sexual experience mutually pleasurable and satisfying for both of them.

Because many young men are concerned about the size of their penis and would like it larger, there are many unethical people or businesses that offer lotions or pills or other types of non-medical treatment to enlarge or lengthen the penis. None of these methods have been fully tested in clinical trials and approved for medical use – and none of them are recommended by reputable physicians. They are taking advantage of a man’s concerns about his penis size (despite the fact that most men have a normal size penis) and seeking to get his money for treatments that are worthless at best. Some can be dangerous or may even damage the penis. None of these methods or products can be recommended or should be used.

Finally, there are a few uncommon medical conditions of the penis that a man should talk about with his doctor (especially a urologist). The first is an extremely small penis, a condition called micropenis in which the penis does not develop to a normal size. Occasionally a boy will also have a penis that does not develop normally even before birth; usually these conditions are recognized shortly after the baby boy is born and given the necessary medical attention. Another medical condition occurring most commonly in middle-aged men is Peyronie’s Disease. In this problem the penis develops scar tissue that may cause it to be smaller or curve abnormally – but this is not a cause of concern about a small or short penis in young men.

Online References:
Wikipedia article on human penis size
Study: Men May Overestimate Normal Penis Size
WebMD: Penis Enlargement, Does it Work?

Husbands penis is too small

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