Contents

Pump Up The Jam

Pump up the jam
Pump it up
While your feet are stompin’
And the jam is pumpin’
Look at here the crowd is jumpin’
Pump it up a little more
Get the party going on the dance floor
See, cause that’s where the party’s at
And you’d find out if you do that

I want a place to stay
Get your booty on the floor tonight
Make my day
I want a place to stay
Get your booty on the floor tonight
Make my day

Make my day
Make my day
Make my day
Make my day

Yo!
Pump up the jam
Pump it up
While your feet are stompin’
And the jam is pumpin’
Look at here the crowd is jumpin’
Pump it up a little more
Get the party going on the dance floor
Seek us that’s where the party’s at
And you’ll find out if you’re too bad

I want a place to stay
Get your booty on the floor tonight
Make my day
I want a place to stay
Get your booty on the floor tonight
Make my day

Make my day
Make my, make my, make, make my day
Make my day
Make my day
Make my, make my, make, make my day

Yo!
Pump up the jam, pump it up
A pump it up, yo, pump it
Pump up the jam, pump it up
A pump it up, yo, pump it
Pump up the jam, pump it up
A pump it up, yo, pump it
Pump up the jam
Pump it, pump it, pump it, pump it, yo!

Pump up the jam
A pump up the jam
Pump up the jam
Pump it up, a pump it, pump it, pump it
Pump up the jam
Pump up the jam
Pump up the jam
Pump it, pump it, pump it, pump it, pump

Pump up the jam
Pump it up
While your feet are stompin’
And the jam is pumpin’
Look at here the crowd is jumpin’
Pump it up a little more
Get the party going on the dance floor
Seek us that’s where the party’s at
And you’ll find out if you’re too bad

I want a place to stay
Get your booty on the floor tonight
Make my day
I want a place to stay
Get your booty on the floor tonight
Make my day

Pump up the jam, pump it up
A pump it up, yo, pump it
Pump up the jam, pump it up
A pump it up, yo, pump it
Pump up the jam, pump it up
A pump it up, yo, pump it
Pump up the jam
Pump it, pump it, pump it, pump it, pump it

Pump up the jam, pump it up
A pump it up, yo, pump it
Pump up the jam, pump it up
A pump it up, yo, pump it
Pump up the jam, pump it up
A pump it up, yo, pump it
Pump up the jam
Pump it, pump it, pump it, pump it
Pump it up
Pump it up

Make my day
Make my day
Make my, make my, make, make my day
Make my day
Make my day
Make my, make my, make, make my day

Yo!
I want a place to stay
Get your booty on the floor tonight
Make my day
I want a place to stay
Get your booty on the floor tonight
Make my day
I want a place to stay
Get your booty on the floor tonight
Make my day
I want a place to stay
Get your booty on the floor tonight
Make my day

Frequently Asked Questions About Herpes

  • What is herpes?
  • Where does the herpes virus live in the body?
  • How common is genital herpes?
  • What if I don’t have lesions?
  • Can I spread genital herpes?
  • What are the symptoms of genital herpes?
  • I had lesions when I was evaluated, but my culture was negative. Does this mean that I don’t have herpes?
  • What are the different types of herpes?
  • Can herpes be transmitted by oral sex?
  • Can herpes be transmitted to other parts of my body?
  • Can genital herpes be treated?
  • Can treatment help prevent multiple herpes outbreaks?
  • Are there any side effects from the medications?
  • Can the drugs be used safely during pregnancy?
  • Can I be treated to prevent transmission to my partner?
  • Can I get herpes sores on other parts of my body?
  • Is herpes related to shingles?
  • Is herpes infection related to HIV?
  • I have cold sores in my mouth. Can I still get genital herpes?
  • This is the first outbreak I’ve had of genital herpes. When did I become infected?
  • I’m worried about recurrences.
  • Are condoms protective?
  • Do I have to use condoms forever?
  • What do I tell my partner?
  • Is there any resistance?
  • I’m thinking about becoming pregnant. What should I do?
  • I have herpes simplex, but my partner does not. Can I do anything besides use condoms in order to prevent transmission?

What is herpes?

Genital herpes is an infection caused by the herpes simplex virus. There are two types of herpes simplex viruses: herpes simplex type I and herpes simplex type II. Both can be transmitted by vaginal intercourse, oral sex and rectal intercourse.

Herpes simplex infections are characterized by three phases: an initial infection; latency, when the viral infection shows no symptoms; and recurrence. Recurrences are when an individual has repeated outbreaks, often at a substantial time after the initial infection occurs.

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Where does the herpes virus live in the body?

The herpes simplex viruses are latent. After the initial infection, the virus gets into the nerve roots and spreads to the sensory nerve ganglia. The ganglia are the nerve junctions in which nerves from different parts of the body come together. For the genital area, the ganglia are adjacent to the spinal cord in the lower back. For orofacial herpes (cold sores), the ganglia are located behind the cheek bone.

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How common is genital herpes?

Genital herpes is caused by herpes simplex type II. According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), approximately 40 to 50 million adults in the United States have genital herpes. HSV II infection is more common in women, but also is common in persons who have had more than five sex partners. Most people with HSV II do not know they have it, because it is asymptomatic and shows no symptoms.

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What if I don’t have lesions?

Most people with genital herpes don’t have lesions. Typical lesions with herpes are vesicles (little blisters) which then progress to genital ulcers (open sores). Many people don’t realize they have genital herpes and often find out when they have a serological exam.

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Can I spread genital herpes?

Individuals infected with HSV I and HSV II genital infections can spread it to their sex partners. Typically, the likelihood of spreading the infection from one partner to another is highest when genital ulcers or blisters are present. However, transmission during the asymptomatic period is extremely common as well. It is estimated that one to three percent of individuals with asymptomatic genital herpes are shedding the virus at any particular time. If you have sexual intercourse with an individual during that period, you have the risk of transmitting or acquiring the infection.

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What are the symptoms of genital herpes?

The symptoms of genital herpes are typically non-specific and quite mild. In the classic case, individuals have grouped blisters or genital ulcers. These burn and can be painful. Often–prior to the development of the lesions–patients describe a prodrome. A prodrome is a burning sensation in the area where the lesions will develop. This can be accompanied by a burning sensation during urination, itching or discomfort in the genital area.

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I had lesions when I was evaluated, but my culture was negative. Does this mean that I don’t have herpes?

One of the biggest problems in diagnosing genital herpes is test sensitivity. There are a number of reasons why cultures can be negative, one being that the disease may be caused by something other than herpes. Cultures also can test negative if the samples are not taken appropriately, if there is a long transport time between the clinic and the laboratory, or if cultures were taken late in the course of the lesions. Lesions that occur early in the course of a herpes outbreak are much more likely to have positive cultures than cultures taken after the lesions crust over.

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What are the different types of herpes?

There are two types of herpes simplex virus: HSV I and HSV II. HSV I is the cause of oral herpes, or cold sores. This is usually acquired as an upper respiratory tract infection during early childhood. HSV II is the cause of most cases of genital herpes. However, it is possible for HSV I to cause genital herpes and HSV II to cause oral herpes.

Clinicians cannot tell the difference between the two types by physical examination alone. The importance of understanding the different types, however, is in the area of prognosis. For example, genital herpes caused by HSV II is much more likely to cause recurrence later. This diagnosis can be helpful in establishing a health-care plan for an individual patient.

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Can herpes be transmitted by oral sex?

Genital herpes can be transmitted by oral sex and can be caused by HSV I or HSV II. The transmission of herpes can occur in the absence of lesions and during asymptomatic shedding. This is one of the reasons why the population of patients with genital herpes caused by HSV I is thought to be increasing.

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Can herpes be transmitted to other parts of my body?

If you have genital herpes or orofacial herpes, you cannot transmit the infection to another part of your body after the initial infection occurs. If you have genital HSV II, you will not get HSV II at another site in your body. The body produces antibodies that protect other parts of your body from infection. However, there are cases where an individual has multiple site infections from the same virus. This is usually acquired at the time of the initial infection. For example, if an individual has oral and genital sex with an infected partner, they can acquire the infection at both sites because they are susceptible at that time.

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Can genital herpes be treated?

Genital herpes can be easily treated with drugs that inhibit viral replication. Commonly used medications are acyclovir, famciclovir and valacyclovir. Treatment can reduce symptoms, the number of outbreaks and viral replication. Treatment does not cure the virus.

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Can treatment help prevent multiple herpes outbreaks?

Suppressive therapy can provide coverage for individuals who have frequent outbreaks. During therapy, an individual with frequent outbreaks takes a small dose of anti-herpes medication every day. It has been proven that suppressive therapy can reduce the number of outbreaks by over 90 percent. Patients have taken suppressive therapy for long periods of time, but in most cases, patients can be weaned from it.

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Are there any side effects from the medications?

The medications used to treat herpes have extremely low side effects. There are no major complications associated with these medications.

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Can the drugs be used safely during pregnancy?

The medications used to treat genital herpes have been safely used during pregnancy. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) conducted a study of over 800 pregnant woman and their infants. The study found that women who were on medications early in their pregnancy had no increased incidence of fetal abnormalities or side effects.

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Can I be treated to prevent transmission to my partner?

If a couple is dichotomous–one partner is documented to have herpes and the other partner is documented to be uninfected–then therapy can be used to prevent transmission. By treating the infected partner with suppressive therapy, transmission of symptomatic herpes can be prevented in over 90 percent of cases. This is an option for couples who are interested in having unprotected sex or who are planning to become pregnant.

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Can I get herpes sores on other parts of my body?

Patients with genital herpes have infection of the nerve roots that supply those areas. The same nerve roots, commonly called L-4, L-5 and S-1, are located at the base of the spinal cord. They also innervate the rectal area, buttocks and lateral aspect of the thigh. In some cases, patients with genital herpes will have lesions and outbreaks at any of these areas, which are not a result of direct inoculation of the virus. These outbreaks can be part of the typical herpes outbreak.

Occasionally, patients can get herpes lesions at distant parts of their body. This is more common in immunocompromised patients. Outbreaks can occur in the trunk, arms or legs. This is a very serious condition called disseminated herpes and should be addressed immediately with your health-care provider.

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Is herpes related to shingles?

Shingles is also called herpes zoster. It is caused by the varicella zoster virus (VZV), which causes chickenpox earlier in life. The natural history of varicella zoster infection is similar to genital herpes infection in that VZV also becomes latent in the sensory nerve roots. Later in life the virus may exit, causing a recurrence.

Recurrences in shingles are typically characterized by appearance of vesicles and blister lesions in a single dermatome. This is a distribution in the nerve roots supplied by that segment of the spinal cord and is usually seen on one side of the body. Shingles is not a sexually transmitted infection and is independent from genital herpes.

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Is herpes infection related to HIV?

Herpes and HIV are caused by different viruses; however, patients infected with these viruses are more likely to transmit either disease to their sexual partners. Patients with herpes are more susceptible to acquiring HIV. Individuals newly diagnosed with herpes should be tested for HIV infection and other sexually transmitted infections.

Herpes and HIV are caused by different viruses; however, patients infected with these viruses are more likely to transmit either disease to their sexual partners. Patients with herpes are more susceptible to acquiring HIV. Individuals newly diagnosed with herpes should be tested for HIV infection and other sexually transmitted infections.

Patients who are infected with both herpes and HIV also may have higher HIV viral loads related to the interaction between the herpes virus and the HIV virus. When an individual becomes immunosuppressed from HIV, they may be more likely to shed herpes simplex virus asymptomatically.

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I have cold sores in my mouth. Can I still get genital herpes?

Cold sores are usually caused by HSV I. Individuals who have HSV I are susceptible to becoming infected with HSV II, the common cause of genital herpes. If you have cold sores, you are still at risk for getting genital herpes from HSV II.

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This is the first outbreak I’ve had of genital herpes. When did I become infected?

This is a difficult question. Initial outbreaks are often asymptomatic for most individuals. The only way to differentiate whether this is your first outbreak or if this is a recurrence of a prior asymptomatic infection is to perform a serological test. However, if the serology indicates that you have become infected in the past, it cannot tell you at what point in time you became infected.

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I’m worried about recurrences.

Patients with genital HSV II infection often have recurrences. Patients can detect the beginning of a recurrence because they develop symptoms, such as burning or itching. When an individual suspects a recurrence, they begin taking anti-herpes medications that alleviate symptoms and decrease the duration of the recurrence. Women often report that recurrences are most common immediately before they get their period.

Recurrent genital herpes is most common in the first year after the initial infection and decreases as time goes on. In many cases, patients may be candidates for suppressive therapy.

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Are condoms protective?

Condoms have been proven to prevent transmission of herpes simplex between partners in over 90 percent of cases where they are used consistently.

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Do I have to use condoms forever?

If you want to prevent transmission of herpes simplex between partners, we recommend that condoms be used 100 percent of the time. Many patients will shed the virus asymptomatically. Careful studies have shown that asymptomatic shedding occurs between one and three percent of the time in patients who have had previous HSV II genital infections. A large portion of new herpes infections occur from partners who are shedding the virus asymptomatically. Because of this, it is highly recommended that patients have protected sexual intercourse.

Condoms may not be an attractive option for monogamous couples or for couples who desire to become pregnant. Couples may opt to have serological tests that will determine whether or not both partners have asymptomatic infection. In close monogamous relationships, the risks of transmission can be weighed against other relationship issues such as intimacy. Couples may decide that the risk of transmission may be something that they want to consider.

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What do I tell my partner?

If you are entering into a relationship and are aware that you have herpes simplex infection, you owe it to your partner to notify them prior to initiating sexual intercourse.

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Is there any resistance?

Medications that are used to treat herpes are acyclovir, famcyclovir, and valacyclovir. Resistance to these drugs–even after 20 years of use–is very rare. Generally, resistance occurs in situations where the patient is profoundly immunosuppressed and has been treated with these drugs for a prolonged period of time. While there is very little resistance in the community, an individual’s response to treatment may vary. In some cases, patients may need more drugs to suppress their viral outbreaks than others.

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I’m thinking about becoming pregnant. What should I do?

Pregnancy is a major concern for all women who have herpes. The major risk is transmitting herpes to the newborn infant, which can cause neonatal herpes. In understanding the risk of transmission, there are several principles which are important.

  1. Transmission of herpes from a mother infected with herpes simplex type II prior to pregnancy to a newborn infant is extremely rare and occurs only when there are visible lesions at the time of delivery.
  2. The greatest risk of transmission of herpes from the mother to the baby is when a primary herpes infection occurs during the last trimester. Based on these principles, there are several strategies which are available, depending on the status.
    1. If the mother is previously known to be infected with herpes simplex type II infection, then the risk of transmission is related to presence of lesions at the time of delivery. No additional intensive screening of the mother or newborn is required. If there are open visible herpes lesions at time of delivery, then the recommendation is for caesarian section. Otherwise, normal vaginal delivery is recommended.
    2. If the mother continues to have herpes simplex recurrences during her pregnancy, then anti-viral treatment during pregnancy can be used. Acyclovir is extremely safe during pregnancy. A large CDC registry study conducted in cooperation with the manufacturer found that women who used acyclovir early in their pregnancy had no increased incidence of fetal abnormalities or side effects.
    3. If the mother has no history of HSV, but her husband/partner does, then there is major concern over whether transmission would occur from the infected male partner to the woman during pregnancy. It is important to document the serological status of both partners during the pregnancy. Sexual activity can continue during pregnancy; however, if discordance is demonstrated, (i.e. the male partner is HSV II seropositive and the pregnant mom is seronegative), then measures to limit transmission during pregnancy need to be implemented. These can include:
      1. Abstinence during pregnancy
      2. 100 percent condom use
      3. Preventive therapy to prevent transmission, such as treating the male partner with antiviral medications in order to prevent transmission

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I have herpes simplex, but my partner does not. Can I do anything besides use condoms in order to prevent transmission?

In this case, there is an option to take suppressive therapy in order to prevent transmission. A large study demonstrated that in discordant couples, treatment of the infected partner–even when that partner was asymptomatic–reduces transmission of symptomatic herpes to the uninfected partner by over 90 percent.

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mindbodygreen

I recently realized that I’ve never once told my two boys to love their bodies at any size, but I’ve repeatedly said those words to my daughter. I realized that when I recently gained 40 pounds in a short amount of time, I also spent my time manically looking in the mirror to remind myself of how beautiful I was. I feel like crap by both “not” dieting and dieting, and not knowing how to define “good” food versus “bad” food.

I often feel sick to death simply because of the very mixed messages that I read constantly about weight and dieting. For many reasons — whatever the reason — I woke up one day with clear knowledge in my mind: as women, we are hurting ourselves and our daughters with our excessive focus on body image, even if its about positive body image.

Disordered eating is at an all time high. Both obesity and anorexia are common with obesity rates stabilizing at a very high rate. But what we don’t stop to think about is that both the world of glossy women’s magazines (touting the benefits of recent diet crazes) and much of the positive body image movement still focus on women’s appearances. The message is clear: you can be fat or thin but the focus is still on how you look. The outrageous spotlight on our appearance is keeping us from living full, complex, productive and healthy lives with some women spending up to an hour a day focused on their appearance.

While many of us have been busy telling ourselves that we are beautiful regardless of weight, our weight and eating issues have only increased. “Loving your body” is something many of us can do with words and the intellect; but without behavioral shifts, this focus is mostly useless, and even potentially dangerous. For instance, at the extreme end of the spectrum, I’ll ask this: how can we celebrate obesity any more than we celebrate anorexia?

Conversely, why aren’t we telling women how fabulous it feels to eat what we want in moderation so that we are neither starving nor stuffed? Why are we not focused on how amazing it feels to be flexible and strong, powerful and athletic versus how sexy we look at any weight? If we are highlighting appearance and not the physical and emotional strength that comes with good health, we are failing.

The positive body image movement is yet another dangerous fascination with women’s appearance and not women’s overall well-being. If our goal is simply to look in the mirror and be happy with what we see then maybe we have succeeded. Yet isn’t that setting the bar extremely low? How about changing the focus from our appearance to our capabilities, our intelligence, our productivity and our ability to connect and love? How often do we hear men discussing loving up their bodies and increasing their self-esteem while looking in the mirror?

To be sure, some will see this opinion as “fat shaming.” Yet what this really is appearance-obsession-shaming. Ultimately, our strength, our joy, and our personal happiness will not and should not be tied to our appearance. It must be tied to our comfort in our own skin, our health, our accomplishments and our relationships.

I want my daughter to spend less time in front of the mirror and more time with friends, family, teachers and books. I want her to enjoy food as a part of her life but not as something to either revel in or to fear. I want the shape of her body to be the least of her worries because she is so fulfilled in other aspects of her life.

So let’s drop the body love talk, the diet talk, the “cleanse” talk and even the “you are beautiful inside and out” talk. Instead, let’s take the incessant beauty talk off the table for girls and women and focus on ending disordered eating in all forms through focusing on things other than women’s appearances. Our self-confidence can be our anchor — but only if it emerges from celebrating something about ourselves other than our bodies.

July 31, 2017 /

Is Loving Our Bodies Doing Us More Harm Than Good?

BY BRITTANY MCGILL

Women face enormous pressure from the media to look a certain way. We’re constantly bombarded with doctored images of ‘ideal femaleness’ that are unrealistic and not representative of all types of femininity.

What’s emerged from these pressures is a ‘counter-movement’ of sorts. It’s a movement promotes messages like ‘Love Your Body’ and ‘Love The Skin You’re In’ to encourage women to embrace their appearance regardless of their body shape and weight. The ‘Love Your Body’ movement is everywhere – it’s used in advertising and it’s ever present on social media.

On the surface the ‘Body Love’ movement seems like a good thing, but it still encourages an unreasonable focus on body shape and weight. I also worry about the fact that the ‘Love Your Body’ movement inadvertently places additional pressure on women. Aren’t we now just demanding that women have iron-clad self-esteem and never waver in their love for their bodies? Isn’t this just another unachievable standard for women to struggle to live up to?

So what’s the solution or middle-ground? It’s hard to say. Perhaps it’s about body acceptance – accepting the fact that your thoughts and feelings about your body will inevitably change and shift throughout the day and throughout your life. But maybe what it all boils down to is this: as women, our bodies are one aspect of our humanness, but we’re so much more than our appearance. Let’s not make it our focus.

Brittany McGill is a clinical psychologist who completed her postgraduate clinical training at the University of New South Wales. She is interested in anxiety and mood disorders across the lifespan and uses cognitive-behavioural and other evidence-based strategies to help people achieve positive change in their lives.

Body Positivity Is a Scam

In the beginning, there was the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty. It started innocuously enough, with a 2004 photography show in Toronto, then expanded to billboards, traditional print ads, and videos, all with similar messages: Women often feel bad about themselves and their appearance, and it’s bad that women feel that way.

The campaign first gained wide acclaim simply by showing a time-lapse version of a model in a faux beauty ad being photoshopped to unattainable perfection. The video contained no narration, but it demonstrated the manipulative nature of beauty advertising on both a level that ad giant Ogilvy & Mather intended and one it probably didn’t.

This was more than a decade ago, when the phrase “Facetuned Instagram” was total nonsense on a literal level instead of just a spiritual one, and an admission of photo editing still felt subversive to average consumers. The brands had been naughty, and Dove would gladly accept the praise for noting its own bad behavior.

The problem with using subversion as a corporate marketing tactic, though, is that if the brand is successful at it, the point it’s making becomes immediately non-subversive. And Dove was very successful at it — the beauty industry had always worked so hard to obscure its tactics and encode its negativity that many consumers felt understandably relieved to see the manipulation acknowledged, even if the only solution Dove offered was the opportunity to buy its products.

Image from the Dove Real Beauty campaign. Photo: Dove

As the viral campaign helped cultural knowledge of image editing spread rapidly, beyond just people who read the feminist websites that had long been critical of the practice, Dove had to up the ante. It did so by devising a series of ads that put unsuspecting women in various contrived situations — choosing to walk into a building through doors labeled “beautiful” or “average,” for example, or being spontaneously required to describe their faces to a sketch artist.

Those sketches were then compared to others’ descriptions of them, revealing for ad viewers just how much these women hate themselves. In the case of the door experiment, it’s unclear why anyone with a functional knowledge of how averages work could reasonably expect all women to consider their appearances “above average.”

That these later ads leave out any larger agent responsible for the body image epidemic isn’t a mistake. Dove and its ad agency had picked up on something important in the positive response to its first ad: They didn’t need to take responsibility or propose a solution. While the logical continuation of that thought for anyone who doesn’t work at an ad agency would be that maybe brands should mind their business instead of dabbling in ineffective cultural criticism — that maybe they’re not the institutions we should be looking to on these topics at all — they saw an opportunity.

The cultural narrative about women’s bodies was so bad that simply identifying the problem would get Dove full credit and move plenty of product, but the urge to talk about a broad cultural problem while refusing to name a bad actor left the blame squarely on the shoulders of the women who had the temerity not to love themselves sufficiently.

In the context of advertising, women’s self-perceptions are invented out of whole cloth, with no apparent connection to the circumstances of their lives. And so we have the marketing landscape as we know it now, courtesy of Dove: gentle, millennial pink, and passive-aggressively reproachful of women who have allowed themselves to feel bad about their bodies. On top of all the old, existing insecurities, Dove posited that women might adopt a lucrative new one: shame over feeling bad in the first place. The brands had become self-aware, and an idea broadly known as body positivity hit the big-time.

The enormous public success of Dove’s ads flipped a switch in the minds of other people in the attention business. The Real Beauty campaign launched a thousand imitators, but not because it inspired a wave of genuine self-reflection in the people who make a living inventing things for women to feel bad about. Instead, it taught brands like Aerie and Target, which have both received waves of positive public attention for Photoshop-free campaigns, that they could get exposure for pennies on the advertising dollar if they created content that people felt compelled to share themselves, above and beyond paid placements.

For that, Ogilvy execs should probably be tried at the Hague for war crimes, but I’d settle for the broad acknowledgment that body positivity, as we know it in 2018, is a load of horse shit.

Like most ideas that become anodyne and useless enough for corporate marketing plans, “body positivity” didn’t begin that way — it started out radical and fringe, as a tenet of the fat acceptance movement of the 1960s. Back then, body positivity was just one element of an ideology that included public anti-discrimination protests and anti-capitalist advocacy against the diet industry, and it made a specific political point: To have a body that’s widely reviled and discriminated against and love it anyway, in the face of constant cultural messaging about your flaws, is subversive.

Now body positivity has shed its radical, practical goals in favor of an advocacy that’s entirely aesthetic and a problem that can be wholly solved by those looking to sell you something. The brands previously thought you should feel one way about yourself, and now they have decided that’s no longer appropriate for their goals. How you talk about yourself should change, even if nothing has changed that would materially affect how you feel.

The way these companies see it, our self-perception is unrelated to the external forces that determine the circumstances of our existence, which is why they think telling us to do better is enough to absolve them of responsibility. When brands offer solutions like using bigger models or those with more varied skin tones, or vowing that cellulite or stretch marks will survive their ads’ retouching process, they’re just barely eliding the fact that they think the problem is all in your head. Show you some different pictures and everything will get better, right?

Why a corporation’s opinions about anyone’s self-worth should matter or be seen as a legitimate sales tool for consumer goods is still unclear, but that dynamic has given rise to an entrepreneur class of its own. For instance, a conventionally attractive Instagram model clapping back at her haters, or a literal supermodel who feels the need to publicly answer her anonymous, powerless social media critics. Or that supermodel’s cousin who is a hero to women everywhere for displaying one single fat roll (again, on Instagram).

An alarming percentage of the public conversation about which bodies our culture values or rejects pivots around models, actresses, and other professionally beautiful people reassuring what they seem to believe is a dubious public that they are, in fact, super hot.

There’s nothing capitalism can’t alchemize into a business opportunity, but for it to be a useful tool for marketers, body positivity needed to be decoupled from fatness and political advocacy, sanitized, and neatly repackaged into something that begins and ends with images. So now, what we talk about when we talk about our physical selves is who gets to be thought of as pretty and who doesn’t, as though personal beauty is an obligatory part of a fulfilling life.

Brands have done such a good job at setting tight boundaries on our expectations and their own responsibilities that even when we chide fashion designers for not being size-inclusive on the runway, we gloss over the reason they’re not: The vast majority of fashion brands make no size-inclusive clothing and don’t see people with different bodies as worthy of being their customers.

Everlane recently launched a new underwear line featuring a plus-size model in its ad campaign, despite making no actual plus-size underwear for sale. A special outfit made for a size 14 runway model or a photo of the very largest woman who can wear a product made in a conventional size range doesn’t address structural bias in any meaningful way, but it does paper over the problem in the only way required by our current cultural values.

A post shared by Everlane (@everlane) on Mar 26, 2018 at 8:47am PDT

In this system, corporate interests have a clear opening to insert themselves into the fray and emerge as heroes simply by hiring an ad agency or casting director who can read the room, and without changing their business’s treatment of anyone. Body positivity in 2018 rushes right up to the line between aesthetics and politics but puts not one toe over it.

What brands and individuals alike are less enthusiastic to talk about is how having a noncompliant body — whether it’s fat, nonwhite, trans, disabled, or some combination thereof — impacts someone’s life, how those external conditions affect someone’s sense of self-worth, and how corporate interests have long benefited from and upheld the structural forces that create inequality.

There’s nothing an ad can (or intends to) do to ameliorate any of the actual problems that harm people’s self-perception, but that doesn’t stop brands from taking enormous credit for their newfound surface-level wokeness. There’s no radicalism in the sales department.

Instead, corporatized, media-friendly body positivity as we now know it puts the onus on people living in marginalized bodies to turn their criticism inward, which is essentially the same thing brands selling clothes or underwear or personal care products have required of us all along. This time, though, those people are told not to be ashamed of their physical selves, based on the premise that there was never anything wrong with them to begin with, as though the same companies that claim to be guiding this “movement” haven’t been selling insecurity for years.

What none of this addresses, of course, is why someone might hate their body. There is no inherent unhappiness to womanhood, or to fatness, or to blackness, or to anything else that American beauty standards have long treated as a problem. The conditions under which we loathe ourselves are socially constructed, but in practical terms, they’re very real.

Women aren’t taken seriously when they report sexual assault. Fat people are turned away from help for serious medical issues because of their weight. Black people are more likely to be the targets of state violence. Trans people are murdered at a rate far outpacing the population average. Having certain types of bodies makes you more likely to die an early and unnecessarily painful death that will be blamed on you before your body is even cold, so I’m not sure why it’s so mystifying and dismaying to the world at large that people in those bodies might not think much of themselves.

Contemporary body positivity makes it incumbent on people with nonconforming bodies to change their own self-perception without requiring anyone with any power to question what created the phenomenon in the first place.

Because consumer-facing brands are such effective attention magnets, and because so much media coverage of their marketing efforts is credulous and brand-friendly (advertising doesn’t exist without someplace to buy space, after all, and most media doesn’t exist without advertising — BuzzFeed notoriously deleted an op-ed critical of Dove’s marketing tactics after publication), these requirements for how we talk about our bodies and those of the people around us have seeped from the ads into the population at large.

Nothing has changed in how most people feel about themselves; instead, it’s simply become very gauche to articulate any of those negative feelings. That wouldn’t be very body-positive of you.

Criticizing the cultural regime of body positivity is a precarious pursuit, though. Media has been so flatly thin, white, straight, and cisgender for so long that seeing more types of bodies does feel like a step in the right direction, if only a very shallow and tentative first step. And body positivity as a vague concept has been a useful touchstone for plenty of people trying not to hate themselves in a world that insists on it.

Those people aren’t wrong to have found it useful; they’ve been put in a bad position and are using the tools available. What we need to do — and what will largely rely on preventing corporate interests from setting the parameters of the conversation and withholding praise from brands for doing the absolute bare minimum — is give them better tools. That’s why corporate-approved body politics feels so dangerous, though.

These companies, with all their resources and reach and ability to manipulate public opinion, have done something they do frequently: They’ve conflated identifying a problem with solving it, and if we let ourselves be convinced these issues are headed in the right direction and our problems really are internal, then we ignore the very real reasons so many people don’t feel good about being the people they are in the world we live in.

When you peel back all the layers of infantilization that Dove and its marketing progeny have heaped on us, though, you get something that’s pretty simple: A lot of people are genuinely sick of being pushed to feel bad about themselves all the time, and they probably also don’t want to expend the energy required to performatively love themselves in the body positivity mode preferred by the idea’s advocates online.

They probably just want to buy and use soap that works, have access to clothing in their size, and not think about their physical selves so much. They also probably don’t want to be denied job opportunities or refused lifesaving medical care because of what they look like. None of that requires a body wash brand to weigh in on anyone’s self-worth, and maybe the most helpful thing brands could do for all of us is shut the fuck up.

Love Your Fat Self

Sizeism remains the only truly socially acceptable form of discrimination on the planet. We see living in a fat body as an insurmountable disability. Nearly a decade ago, the feminist therapist Mary Pipher wrote that “fat is the leprosy of the 1990s.” Today fat is the death penalty of the 21st century. Skinny girls, counting their carrot sticks for lunch, can’t imagine being lovable at that size, applying for a job at that size, even living at that size. When I asked 14-year-old Manhattanites how their lives would be different if they were fat, they were struck silent. After a few moments, one responded, “I would be dead.”

Paradoxically, we as a society make it a catastrophe to be fat, but we have little awareness of the pain of a woman like Gareth’s internal world. We dramatize fatness through news segments on the obesity epidemic, but our awareness of the emotional and psychological pain of fatness remains virtually nonexistent.

We are deathly afraid of fat. In some ways, we should be. According to the World Health Organization, there are 1 billion overweight and 300 million obese adults around the globe. Fatness is linked to an increased risk for heart disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes, and some forms of cancer. According to the National Institutes of Health (NIH), health care costs for treating diseases associated with obesity are estimated at more than $100 billion a year and rising, just within the United States (inexplicably, the NIH spends just 2 percent of its annual budget on obesity research). The physical, psychological, and economic implications of widespread obesity are undeniably frightening.

There is evidence, though, that our approach to fatness is as unhealthy as fatness itself. In an ELLEgirl poll of 10,000 readers, 30 percent said they would rather be thin than healthy. Dieting is ineffective 95 percent of the time. That means, in America alone, we pump some $40 billion a year into a crapshoot industry with only a 5 percent chance of payoff. Besides being hard on our pocketbooks, dieting is hard on our bodies and hard on our psyches. Many women are pushed to use diet pills that damage their organs; 23-year-old Janet admits, “Even after my friend had a ministroke from taking ephedra, I sometimes wonder if I can search the Internet and find some on the black market. Crazy, right?”

Political scientist J. Eric Oliver, an expert in obesity, argues in his 2005 book Fat Politics: The Real Story Behind America’s Obesity Epidemic that the health risks of obesity have been grossly exaggerated. Being fat, he maintains, is not equivalent to being unfit. Fitness, not weight, is actually the most accurate measure of a person’s health and life expectancy. Even a group of researchers at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention acknowledge that “evidence that weight loss improves survival is limited.”

Thirty-five percent of those who diet go on to yo-yo diet, dragging their bodies through a cycle of weight gains and losses; 25 percent of those who diet develop partial- or full-syndrome eating disorders. As the mindfulness expert Susan Albers writes: “The dieting mind-set is akin to taking a knife and cutting the connection that is your body’s only line of communication with your head.” There is little hope for long-term improvement in health when this vital line is severed.

In fact, studies show that prolonged weight loss is more often the result of psychological work. In a two-year study conducted by nutrition researchers at the University of California, Davis, behavior change and self-acceptance were far more effective in achieving long-term health improvements in obese women than America’s most lucrative scam: dieting.

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Conflating obesity with laziness or stupidity is an inaccurate habit of linking a physical trait, in this case fatness, with personality. This is equivalent to believing that all smokers or anorexics are incompetent. Just the fact that someone is genetically predisposed to fatness and struggles with the complex psychological implications of food and body image does not disqualify her from being brilliant, talented, and effective. As obvious as this sounds, many of the health professionals I spoke to about this issue aired an unmistakable tone of disdain for fat patients. While they were able to empathize with women who undereat, the idea of over­eating sent them into a dispassionate laundry list of how to decrease input and increase output—as if people were machines.

As a society, we seek answers: black-and-white declarations, either-or cures. Fatness is not so simple. Gareth is fat because she has a genetic predisposition to fat, because she grew up with a father who sells chocolate for a living and often showed his affection through tarts and candy bars, because her mother—however well-intentioned she was—restricted Gareth’s food and, as a result, made love feel conditional. She is fat because she is fascinated by food, generously cooks for others, and enjoys a good hamburger. She is fat because she refuses to live a watered-down life—cutting out carbs or sugars or meat, becoming one of those difficult dinner guests or boring picnic companions—so that she can be thin. She is fat because, like so many of the rest of us, she sometimes uses food to fill an emotional void. She is fat because she lives in an age when advertising preys on every potential craving, insecurity, and discomfort.

Most programs designed to curb obesity neglect the complicated causes of fat. Janell Lynn Mensinger, a psychology professor and expert on both eating disorders and obesity in women, has been continually frustrated by medical doctors’ culturally ignorant, gender-blind, and usually unsuccessful interventions to reduce obesity. “There is such an emphasis on the body as this biological organism that must be controlled in a completely medical way,” she explains. “Emotions get completely pushed aside because most physicians have very little psychological training.”

At a recent conference on pediatric obesity, Mensinger sat next to a tiny black exercise physiologist who was lamenting the low success rate of programs meant to teach children to maintain a healthy weight. Mensinger recalls that “she segued right into talking about how she used to be a size nine and now she is a size five, thanks to two hours a day of rigorous exercise. She acted like size nine was an atrocity! And this is obese children from poor backgrounds are supposed to identify?”

There is only one rational reason to fear fatness: health risks. The other reasons, which play unconscious and insidious roles in our negative perception of fat people, are profoundly American. Obesity is rampant in the heartland of America, in the sprawling suburbs of the Midwest and the South, the farm towns of Texas. But it is rarely admitted that our struggle over the meaning of fat is at the heart of our national identity.

Our all-or-nothing nation is built on foundations of fantasy. Our imaginations are harnessed to America’s favorite adolescent fantasy: how much prettier, thinner, richer, and more successful we will be one day. This perpetual American daydream is written in the language of “somedays.” Someday whispers us to sleep at night, gets us through a boring workday, makes our little lives bearable. The hundreds of ads the average American sees every day brainwash us into believing that we need more shiny, new things and, of course, food—glorious piles of chocolate chip cookies, decadent ice cream, burgers the size of elephants. “Someday” soothes insecurities, numbs discomfort, and keeps perfect girls running obediently in the hamster wheel of preoccupation with their weight. Someday we will be thin. Translation: Someday we will be happy, loved, and powerful.

But even those precious few who get to this someday destination aren’t happy or better. If you live fat in your head, then you are fat. If you believe you are unattractive, you will experience the world as an unattractive woman. If you hound yourself about everything you put in your mouth, you won’t enjoy eating. Regardless of the number on the scale, if the number inside your head is large, insurmountable, and loaded with meaning, then you will feel weighed down by its implications.

This is the heart of the matter: A starving person can ache just as deeply inside a thin body. Our dissatisfaction is never, at its deepest, about our bodies. This is why fat women and thin women often experience the world in similar ways. If a thin woman feels inadequate and “thinks fat,” she may endure less hate coming from the outside in than a fat woman does, but just as much criticism and sadness from the inside out. Likewise, if a woman of any size is able to stop her negative self-talk and accept herself, she may experience the world with a little peace of mind.

Gareth is onstage, the shadow of her voluptuous silhouette on the wall behind her. I am watching it, instead of her, during her monologue, because it’s too hard to look her in the eye when she is speaking such brave and brutal truths. Her words start out celebratory but quickly become accusatory:

In a way it is easy to be proud of my body. I’m proud of what it does for me and what it can do for other people. But every time I get dressed I think about how other people will see my body and I can’t help but hear the words “fat bitch” in my head. I’ve been hearing them most of my life. It’s as if people feel the need to make a judgment on my character as well as my body all at once. And it works. It makes me feel huge and obtrusive and grotesque, deformed.

It’s true. I am fat. I am not attractive to most people. Most of the time, I am not attractive to myself. Where does that leave me? Angry with myself? Yes. Angry with society? No.

I think that’s a cop-out, and it’s not a cop-out for me. It’s a cop-out for the people who judge my size. It’s like, at this point, we all know that the media, old white men, corporations, the fashion industry, and all sorts of bad people or things out there shape the way we view ourselves and others. Okay, I get it. But don’t you think, at some point, knowing all this, we should start taking some responsibility for our thoughts and words? I mean, isn’t that the point of all this higher education, all this enlightenment?

As she reaches the end, she starts screaming her questions at the stunned audience: “So what’s going on, people? Why do I still feel like crap? Huh? Who can tell me? Do you know? Can someone please explain it to me?”

I can almost hear the audience members’ brains buzzing with rationalizations: But fat is unhealthy. I don’t date fat women, but I have nothing against them. Why is she complaining? She’s one of those beautiful fat women. When is this going to be over? It’s torture.

Gareth pulls herself together, takes a deep breath, and says calmly, “I know what you are all thinking, and it’s OK,” then ends, cool as ice, “You want the fat bitch to shut up,” and struts out of the spotlight and off the stage.

Gareth is beautiful, especially tonight. She’s dressed in a knee-length black skirt, cut in uneven triangles on the bottom. Her shirt is a rainbow of reds, oranges, and yellows—as fiery as her monologue—cut low, revealing the tops of her breasts, freckled with beauty marks. Her eyes are outlined in dark pencil, making them seem even bigger than they are, even more striking. The spotlight bathes her in an ethereal light.

But most of the audience members instead focus on her anger. They are not used to being called on the carpet for their judgment of obesity. They feel attacked, misunderstood, perhaps defensive. They have fat friends. They aren’t narrow-minded, just concerned about the obesity epidemic. They thought that was the right way to be. They feel unmoored, the first phase of a new consciousness.

Gareth’s monologue provokes a storm of self-reflection. I would never say anything rude to a fat man or woman about his or her weight, but would I think it? I preach tolerance, but would I consider dating someone who is overweight? When I compliment Gareth on her new haircut, is there a part of me that feels relieved that she is undeniably beautiful despite being fat? Do I identify her anger more quickly than I would a thinner friend’s? Do I patronize her by complimenting her eyes, her sense of humor, her determination—as if the rest of her doesn’t exist?

Just as racism is not primarily about frightened white women clutching their purses but about the seemingly mundane, unconscious voices in our heads—Why do black girls have to be so loud? That Latina woman is probably a great nanny. This new Asian guy is probably really smart—sizeism is not about the drunken man who screams “fat bitch” at Gareth on the subway as much as it is about the march of hateful inner monologues: That girl would be so pretty if she would just lose some weight. I wonder what’s wrong with her, must be lazy. This fat bitch is taking up more than her share of the bus seat.

When I started to pay attention to the voices in my own head, I was frankly horrified. It wasn’t only fat women on whom I unconsciously commented, it was thin women, too: That skinny girl looks like such a bitch; I bet she’s vacuous and vain. That woman shouldn’t be eating that muffin. I feel sorry for that little girl; she’s going to be lonely if she doesn’t lose some weight.

Seriously humbled by my own judgmental nature, I realized that thinking this way about other people creates an inner climate of suspicion. If I think this way about her, what is she thinking about me? Like a chronic gossip suddenly aware that other people probably talk about her behind her back too, I woke up to the fact that I was sealing my own fate of mercilessly judging and being judged, even if my participation was unspoken.

That understanding is Gareth’s gift to me. It is a daily struggle not to listen to the voices—the furtive whispers, the outdated instincts—that try to slip under the radar. But it makes me feel more generous. It makes me feel less scrutinized myself. Sometimes I sit on a subway car and look at every woman purposefully and lovingly—as if she were my mother or my best friend. It is breathtaking how beautiful they all are when I see like this.

Courtney E. Martin is a writer, teacher, and speaker living in Brooklyn, New York; www.courtneyemartin.com. Excerpted from her book Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters: The Frightening New Normalcy of Hating Your Body. Copyright © 2007 by Courtney E. Martin. Reprinted by permission of Free Press, a division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

I know when I didn’t love my body, the big reason why I now know I didn’t take action was because there were benefits for me not loving my body. You might be again, what there’s no benefits to not loving my body. What are you talking about Victoria, but hold on up as an example. A benefit for not loving your fat body is the act of working on loving your fat body is scary. It’s risky. You’re probably gonna face criticism. You have to let go of old stories. You have to change the way that you perceive yourself and that’s hard, but what benefits are there for you to love your fat body? For example, increased self esteem, happiness, able to go on vacation and do all the things that you think that you fat body can’t do. Wear a bikini, date people who are worthy of you instead of losers. The list is endless.

I used to be a massive victim in my life. So you might have seen in my other videos, I experienced abuse, homelessness, poverty, all sorts of things. After I experienced those things, I was evicted, which is totally normal. It’s absolutely normal. But for years I kept being like, oh my God, my life is so shit and all these bad things happen to me. And then I discovered a book called the happiness advantage by Shawn Achor. In that book he talks about the third path. So the third path is, let me tell you what path one and two is. First two path one. After we’ve experienced trauma, what most people do, and it’s absolutely 1000% normal, is to take that trauma and go on a downward spiral. The second path is when you’ve experienced trauma or something difficult in your life is to stick with status quo. It’s not to do anything. Nothing changes, good or bad, That’s less than normal. And the third path is to take that bad experience, that trauma, and use it to push you forward, to help you excel in life. Use it as a lesson.

Now if you experienced a trauma and the first thing that you do is you’re like, oh my God, I’m so pleased that that bad thing happened, then that’s probably a bit weird. But most people, they stay on that first path, which is using it as a downward spiral forever until you have a choice. You can decide of all the shit things that’s happened in your life and all the terrible ways that you feel about your body. Are you going to use that to continue to feel down or are you going to take the third path and use it as a lesson, as a wonderful thing that happened and use it to help you love your body?

So for example, being in an abusive relationship and now I can look back and be like, wow, I really learned some amazing things about myself. I wouldn’t necessarily be as strong as I am today if I hadn’t experienced that. Same with homelessness. Now when I see a homeless person on the street, before I experienced homelessness, I probably would have been like, oh, you know, thinking negative things about them. Whereas now I’m like, wow, I understand how complex a situation of homelessness is. And so now I live my life in something that is called radical responsibility. So I am responsible for what’s going on in my life and the way that I’m feeling. And for me that is a wonderful thing to believe because it means that I am able to overcome things when something negative happens. Or if I’m not feeling good about myself, I am going to take radical responsibility for making a change in my life.

So you have to look at the benefits of not loving your fat body and the benefits of loving your fat body and decide which one is bigger, what is more desirable? You might decide that actually not loving your fat body is more desirable and beneficial to you right now. And that’s absolutely okay. That’s your choice. But it’s also your choice to decide to take radical responsibility and take the third path into something beautiful.

So download the radical responsibility workbook in the links below. And if you liked this video, please share it. Give me a, like if you’re on youtube, subscribe to my channel. I have a new video every single week and I will see you in next time. Bye.

Shape Of You

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Ed Sheeran Buy This Song

About Shape Of You

“Shape of You” is a song by English singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran. It was released as a digital download on 6 January 2017 as one of the double lead singles from his third studio album ÷ (2017), along with “Castle on the Hill”. The dancehall-infused pop song was written by Ed Sheeran, Steve Mac and Johnny McDaid. Due to its interpolation of “No Scrubs” by TLC, Kandi Burruss, Tameka “Tiny” Cottle, and Kevin “She’kspere” Briggs are also credited as writers. The song was produced by Sheeran and Mac. “Shape of You” peaked at number-one on the singles charts of 34 countries, including the US Billboard Hot 100 (later becoming the best performing song of 2017), as well as the UK, Australian and Canadian singles charts. It stayed at number one for a record-tying 16 consecutive weeks on the Canadian Hot 100, as well as 14 non-consecutive weeks on the UK Singles Chart, and 12 non-consecutive weeks on the Billboard Hot 100. On 10 December 2018, the song became the first song to hit 2 billion streams in the most streamed song on Spotify. It was also the most-streamed song of the decade on Spotify with 2.4 billion streams by December 2019. It was the best-selling song of 2017 and the decade in the UK. “Shape of You” was the best selling-song of 2017 and the best selling digital song worldwide, with combined sales and track-equivalent streams of 26.6 million units according to IFPI. In 2018, it sold an additionally 14.9 million copies and made a second appearance in the Billboard Year-End, at No. 71. The song won the Grammy Award for Best Pop Solo Performance at the 60th Annual Grammy Awards. In 2018, Billboard ranked “Shape of You” as the ninth most successful song of all-time, as the magazine celebrated the Hot 100’s 60th anniversary. more “

Year: 2017 3:53 125,954 Views

Become A Better Singer In Only 30 Days, With Easy Video Lessons!

The club isn’t the best place to find a lover So the bar is where I go Me and my friends at the table doing shots Drinking fast and then we talk slow Come over and start up a conversation with just me And trust me I’ll give it a chance now Take my hand, stop, put Van the Man on the jukebox And then we start to dance, and now I’m singing like Girl, you know I want your love Your love was handmade for somebody like me Come on now, follow my lead I may be crazy, don’t mind me Say, boy, let’s not talk too much Grab on my waist and put that body on me Come on now, follow my lead Come, come on now, follow my lead I’m in love with the shape of you We push and pull like a magnet do Although my heart is falling too I’m in love with your body And last night you were in my room And now my bedsheets smell like you Every day discovering something brand new I’m in love with your body Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I I’m in love with your body Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I I’m in love with your body Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I I’m in love with your body Every day discovering something brand new I’m in love with the shape of you One week in we let the story begin We’re going out on our first date You and me are thrifty, so go all you can eat Fill up your bag and I fill up a plate We talk for hours and hours about the sweet and the sour And how your family is doing okay Leave and get in a taxi, then kiss in the backseat Tell the driver make the radio play, and I’m singing like Girl, you know I want your love Your love was handmade for somebody like me Come on now, follow my lead I may be crazy, don’t mind me Say, boy, let’s not talk too much Grab on my waist and put that body on me Come on now, follow my lead Come, come on now, follow my lead I’m in love with the shape of you We push and pull like a magnet do Although my heart is falling too I’m in love with your body And last night you were in my room And now my bedsheets smell like you Every day discovering something brand new I’m in love with your body Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I I’m in love with your body Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I I’m in love with your body Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I I’m in love with your body Every day discovering something brand new I’m in love with the shape of you Come on, be my baby, come on Come on, be my baby, come on Come on, be my baby, come on Come on, be my baby, come on Come on, be my baby, come on Come on, be my baby, come on Come on, be my baby, come on Come on, be my baby, come on I’m in love with the shape of you We push and pull like a magnet do Although my heart is falling too I’m in love with your body Last night you were in my room And now my bedsheets smell like you Every day discovering something brand new I’m in love with your body Come on, be my baby, come on Come on, be my baby, come on I’m in love with your body Come on, be my baby, come on Come on, be my baby, come on I’m in love with your body Come on, be my baby, come on Come on, be my baby, come on I’m in love with your body Every day discovering something brand new I’m in love with the shape of you

Watch: New Singing Lesson Videos Can Make Anyone A Great Singer

Ed Sheeran

Edward Christopher “Ed” Sheeran (born 17 February 1991) is an English singer-songwriter and producer. He was born in Halifax, before moving to Framlingham. He learned to play guitar and started writing songs at a young age. He began recording in 2005 and moved to London in 2008 to pursue a music career. In 2009, he played 312 gigs. In early 2011, Sheeran released an independent extended play, No. 5 Collaborations Project which led him to be signed to Asylum / Atlantic Records. Buoyed by the commercial breakthrough of the singles “The A Team” and “Lego House”, his debut album + has been certified quintuple platinum in the United Kingdom. In 2012, he won two BRIT Awards for Best British Male Solo Artist, and British Breakthrough of… more “

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Genre: Pop

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Written by: John McDaid, Steve Mac, Edward Christopher Sheeran, Kandi L. Burruss, Kevin Jerome Briggs, Tameka D. Cottle

Lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Universal Music Publishing Group, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Spirit Music Group, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind

Shape of You Songtext

von Ed Sheeran

The club isn’t the best place to find a lover
So the bar is where I go
Me and my friends at the table doing shots
Drinking fast and then we talk slow
Come over and start up a conversation with just me
And trust me, I’ll give it a chance
Now take my hand, stop, put Van The Man on the jukebox
And then we start to dance
Say, boy, let’s not talk too much
Grab on my waist and put that body on me
Come on now, follow my lead
Come, come on now, follow my lead
I’m in love
I’m in love
I’m in love
I’m in love shape of dance

I’m in love
Dance
I’m in love
I’m in love in the shape of…
I’m in love with the shape of you
We push and pull like a magnet do
Although my heart is falling too
I’m in love with your body
And last night you were in my room
And now my bedsheets smell like you
Every day discovering something brand new
I’m in love with your body
I’m in love with your body
Every day discovering something brand new
I’m in love with the shape of you
I’m in love
I’m in love
I’m in love
I’m in love shape of dance
I’m in love
dance
I’m in love
I’ m in love in the shape of…
One week in we let the story begin
We’re going out on our first date
You and me are thrifty, so go all you can eat
Fill up your bag and I fill up a plate
We talk for hours and hours about the sweet and the sour
And how your family is doing okay
Leave and get in a taxi, then kiss in the backseat
Tell the driver make the radio play
Say: Boy, let’s not talk too much
Grab on my waist and put that body on me
Come on now, follow my lead
Come, come on now, follow my lead
I’m in love
I’m in love
I’m in lo-lo-love
I’m in love shape of
dance
I’m in love
dance
I’m in love with the shape of you
I’m in lo-lo-love
dance
I’m in love with the shape of you
I’m in love with the shape of you
We push and pull like a magnet do
Although my heart is falling too
I’m in love with your body
Dance
And last night you were in my room
And now my bedsheets smell like you
Every day discovering something brand new
Dance
I’m in love
I’m in love
Dance
Dance
I’m in love in the shape of…

If you’re getting leaner by working out and eating clean, you might be wondering when you’ll start to see your abs pop. But how many crunches you do won’t determine whether you have a six-pack or not — it’s all about your overall body fat percentage.

What’s Body Fat Percentage, and How Is It Measured?

“Your body fat percentage represents the total amount of fat mass you have,” explained NASM-certified personal trainer and POPSUGAR Assistant Fitness Editor Tamara Pridgett. This is a combination of two different types of fat: essential body fat and storage fat. Essential fat is needed to protect your organs and joints, to keep you warm, and to help with reproduction. Storage fat is stored energy in the form of adipose tissue, and it’s the fat people tend to see on their bodies.

You can have your body fat percentage measured by taking skinfold measurements, which aren’t too accurate, even if taken by a professional. Gyms also can have you use an InBody machine that’s similar to stepping on a scale. It sends a bioelectrical current throughout your body, measuring body fat percentage. This also isn’t the most accurate.

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A DEXA scan or a BodPod test are two of the most accurate ways to measure body fat percentage. These are usually only offered at specialized clinics and are pricey — around $250 to $300. What’s helpful about these in terms of your six-pack showing is that they can break down the exact percentages of where fat is distributed throughout your body.

What Body Fat Percentage Do I Need to See My Abs?

Many trainers agree that it’s difficult to give a specific percentage of body fat that allows for abdominal visibility. Certified personal trainer Virginia Kinkel, who has been operating and analyzing DEXA scans for five years, said that where you store fat, how much fat, and how much muscle you have will determine whether or not your abs show. “Two people with the exact same body fat percentage can store it completely differently. One person may have abs, one person may not,” she said.

Although there isn’t one specific body fat percentage you need to see abs since everyone’s fat is distributed differently, there is a body fat percentage range you can aim for. NSCA-certified personal trainer, chiropractor, and owner of Movement Upgraded Ryan Hosler said that for men, if you’re around six to 17 percent body fat, your abs should be noticeably visible. For women, the range is 14 to 24 percent body fat. Definition will start to show on the higher end (17 percent for men, 24 percent for women), and your abs will become more sculpted as that number lowers.

How Can I Lower My Body Fat Percentage?

Unfortunately, you can’t spot-reduce fat from your belly. You need to reduce your overall body fat percentage, which will diminish fat from all over, including your stomach. You can do this by doing two main things: One, eating a healthy diet including eating in a moderate calorie deficit, limiting the processed carbs and sugar. And two, working out with a combination of weight training and high-intensity interval training.

A Warning About Low Body Fat Percentage

Oftentimes, we can focus heavily on achieving a specific body fat percentage. This can be important for those managing weight-related chronic disease like heart disease and diabetes. But registered dietitian Rachel Fine, MS, RD, CDN, owner of To the Pointe Nutrition, who specializes in sports nutrition, warns that it’s critical to make sure that whatever body fat percentage you’re aiming for, you make sure it still allows for your body’s basal metabolism to function properly.

“Oftentimes, I will see athletes strive for extremely low body fat percentage, which cause hormonal disruptions that impair long-term health and performance,” she explained. “The body’s fat stores act as a direct moderator for several hormones, including bone building and appetite regulators. Without enough body fat, we risk a future of brittle bones and chronic hunger.”

Forget Body Fat Percentage!

“Having abs that are visible is not actually the best indicator of health or fitness,” added NSCA-certified trainer Brittany Van Schravendijk, head coach at Living.fit. The level of leanness required to have abs show can be unhealthy for women in particular, which may cause disruptions in their hormonal balance and menstrual cycle if they are below 20 percent body fat.

While there’s nothing wrong with wanting a flat stomach or visible abdominal muscles, it shouldn’t come at the expense of your health. “Instead of focusing on how they look, I’d like to see people focus on how strong they feel and what they can do,” ACSM-certified personal trainer Kekua Kobashigawa said.

Image Source: Getty / yoh4nn

Sudden bereavement: Viewing the body

Seeing a body immediately

It should be recognised firstly that some people who are suddenly bereaved have no choice over whether they ever see the body or not, because they see the body at a very early stage due to circumstance.

Some witness the death. For example, people who witness the death of someone close to them in a road crash or a drowning or a sudden medically-caused death.

Other people arrive at the scene of the death just after that death. For example, someone discovers a loved one’s suicide, or is alerted by someone else to the death of a loved one nearby that has only just happened.

When recounting this experience later to researchers of sudden bereavement, suddenly bereaved people who witnessed a death or arrived at the scene shortly afterwards said they had an overwhelming desire to be beside the dead person; to hug and touch them and comfort them. They did not want the dead person to be alone and they wanted the dead person to be with someone who loves them. In other words, the bereaved person still felt their dead loved one had a “social identity” and needed nurturing . Often suddenly bereaved people at this time will resist strongly any attempt by professionals or other carers to keep them away from their loved one’s body.

The bereaved person’s experience of seeing their loved one’s body at this time will be different to seeing their loved one’s body later. There will be no control at this early stage over whether or not they see any visible injuries or physical damage to their dead loved one’s body. There will be no ability to prepare for the situation they find themselves in. In the case of violent disasters, it is often a chaotic, fast moving experience.

Seeing a body later

After a sudden death there are usually opportunities to see the body in a more formal and usually much calmer setting, such as when it is laid out in a mortuary or funeral parlour. There are often many people who were close to the person who died, including children, who may wish to consider seeing the body at this stage, and who did not see the body at the time of the death.

The decision to view a body of a loved one is a big decision. It results in a suddenly bereaved person experiencing something that usually creates a strong memory, central to the experience of the bereavement. This can be a memory viewed positively or negatively, or both. However, the feelings that result from that memory may change over time.

The decision not to view a body is also a big decision. It can result in feelings of regret at not seeing the reality of the death with “my own eyes”. Arguably this is something that may be felt more often in cases of sudden death, due to the unexpected and unanticipated nature of the death, and therefore the feeling of unreality often associated with it.

Research by Oxford University published in the British Medical Journal interviewed people suddenly bereaved about their experience of viewing or not viewing the body of their loved one.

It concluded:

• Many people bereaved by a sudden and traumatic death think it is important to see the body of their loved one.

• However, within a family there will be different attitudes; some bereaved relatives may want to view, but others will not, and some will find viewing helpful, but others may find it distressing.

• Seeing a damaged body is inevitably distressing, but in the research was often not regretted. Clinicians should not assume that relatives will be harmed by seeing a bruised or damaged body.

• Those who had mixed feelings or regretted seeing the body felt they had lacked choice or preparation.

• The way that relatives refer to the body can be a strong indication for professionals about whether the person who died retains a social identity for the bereaved.

Therefore, while many suddenly bereaved people may find the experience helpful, it is inadvisable to encourage a suddenly bereaved person to view a body. To enable a bereaved person to make the choice that is best for them, you can help by asking them relevant questions and providing them with relevant information. The below guidance helps you to do this.

Information about the body’s appearance

Some people who have been suddenly bereaved may want to view the body of their loved one because they have had a positive experience of viewing a body previously, for example a grandparent who died in old age. If someone dies of old age then their body in death often looks fairly similar to their body in life. However, when someone dies suddenly in childhood or in mid life their body may look very different to how the person looked when alive. This is particularly the case if their death was violent, or they had urgent medical intervention such as a major operation prior to death.

A body may be different in death to life because:

• injuries or surgical procedures have damaged the body. For example, skin has changed colour due to internal bleeding, or the body’s facial appearance has changed due to a broken jaw, or cuts, etc.

• a mortician or funeral director has changed a body’s appearance through clothing, or hair arrangement, or cosmetics. Such “dressing” of the body may be very different to how the person in life would have done it.

• the body smells different. For example, due to embalming processes, or antiseptics used during an operation.

Maggie says: “I had seen the body of my grandmother so I wasn’t worried about seeing my husband’s body. I knew that seeing my grandmother’s body had helped me come to terms with her death so I thought it would be the same when I saw Gary’s body. I just didn’t think how different it would be. Gary’s body was destroyed by the car crash. When he was in the Intensive Care Unit of the hospital the staff had wired up his broken jaw and not bothered to tell me it was broken because he had so many internal injuries and other broken bones so they felt his jaw was unimportant information; a minor detail. But when he died and I went to see the body I was utterly shocked that his face looked so collapsed. I thought he would look about the same in death as he had when he was on the life support machine. I remember screaming “That’s not my husband” and running out. It was horrible. I felt terrible, and I felt I had behaved terribly, with no self control. This left me with feelings of misery and some embarrassment.”

As someone helping a bereaved person, it is therefore useful to know what changes have occurred to a body, and, firstly, to tell a bereaved person that there have been changes, then, secondly, ask the bereaved person if they wish to know the details of those changes in order to assist them to make the decision to view a body or not.

Some bereaved people may not want to be told about any changes to the body and may not want to view the body. They may wish to remember the person how they were in life, and not have this memory intruded upon in any way, either by being told what the body looks like or by seeing the body.

Some bereaved people may want to be told the changes, but then choose not to see the body.

Some bereaved people may want to be told the changes and then choose to see the body.

Some bereaved people may want to discover the changes for themselves and not be receptive to being given information second hand.

Information about the environment in which the body is housed

Charlotte arrived to view the body of her sister. She was taken into an empty room with no explanation. With no warning, a curtain was swept back and she found herself within a metre of her sister’s body, on a table behind the curtain

Charlotte says: “It was like a magician’s trick and a terrible shock. It made me want to run out of there straight away. I burst into tears and only stayed a few minutes. I really regret the way this made me feel and the whole experience.”

John went to view the body of his son in a hospital mortuary. He was taken into a small intimate room containing only his son’s body. While he was in the room a member of the mortuary staff stood solemnly in the corner. “It was very strange. I had been anticipating this time with my son’s body and wanted it to be special and private. Yet this man was in the corner the whole time. I remember it made me feel very self-conscious and left me feeling like he was a prison warden; there to check I didn’t do anything silly, such as run off with the body. It didn’t give me a good feeling. It was such a vivid experience that I remember every single detail. I remember that the man was wearing a white coat with a small enamel badge on it of a steam engine. I have no idea why; I presume he was a train enthusiast. But I remember thinking “Why are you interfering with my private experience of grief by being there and making me think about steam trains when I want to be thinking about my son?” It made me feel unreasonably angry towards the man at a very difficult time.”

Every detail about the viewing experience matters and every detail can be explained to a person who is going to view a body, before they view a body. As someone caring for the suddenly bereaved person, you can help by:

1. Talking to the bereaved person about what they want the experience to be like. Do they have any requests, for example they may want to be left alone, or only see the body at a distance or through glass.

2. Talking to the mortuary staff about what the experience will be like. For example, will it be possible for a bereaved person to touch the body? Sometimes this is not possible for forensic reasons. Will parts of the body be covered because they are too damaged? Are there any parts that the bereaved person is not advised to touch because they are fragile? What will the room look like and will anyone else be there?

Every word matters

Jane was only five when her father died. Her mother told her that “Daddy isn’t here anymore. His body is here, but the rest of him had gone away to heaven.” Jane, who is now an adult, remembers being shocked when she saw her dad’s body because it had a head, arms and legs. She had thought the word “body” meant his torso, so she thought she was only going to see his chest and stomach areas and that his head and limbs had gone up “into the sky to another planet”.

If you are giving information to someone who is considering whether to view a body it is important to ensure that your information is understood. This is particularly important to check when talking to children, or people who are communicating in a second language or have hearing difficulties.

Concentration is difficult when suddenly bereaved so important details may need repeating.

One way to ensure your information is understood is to seek consideration through continued conversation and repetition. For example, “I’ve told you a few things that I’m just going to list again now. I’ve told you that you won’t be able to touch your dad’s chest area, and that only his head and hands will be exposed, and that his eyes will be shut and his skin colour will be purple due to internal bleeding. I’ve told you that a mortician will be present. Do you have any thoughts about what this experience may be like for you if you decide to see him?

Managing the experience

If more than one person wants to view the same body, have conversations with these people about whether they want to do the viewing on their own or together. Sometimes viewing rooms may be small and get crowded easily, reducing the quality of the experience. Children’s experiences have to be managed with particular care, ensuring they are accompanied by an adult helper who will assist them appropriately to understand what they are seeing.

It is also important for bereaved people to consider what they are going to do after viewing a body. Will they be able to sit somewhere safe and quiet and have a few minutes to themselves and an offer of a hot drink before facing the world again? What will their plans be for the rest of the day; will it be possible to do something relaxing, with people they trust and know, that doesn’t require extensive travel?

Religious rules and rituals

When managing the experience, it is important to be aware of, and consider the implications, of any religious rules or rituals that wish to be followed by a person viewing the body, such as touching and preparing a body through procedures such as washing and wrapping, or only allowing certain people to visit at certain times.

The importance of such rules or rituals to loved ones should be considered sensitively alongside any needs for post-mortem examination by pathologists and forensic scientists. Some families may object to the touching of the body by a non-faith member, but there is no rule for this in Hinduism, Islam or Sikhism in emergency situations. In Islam an invasive post-mortem examination (involving cutting open the body) is forbidden and it may, in some circumstances and in some countries, be possible to agree a non-invasive post mortem examination.

It is important to be receptive to cultural and religious differences and consult with the family to identify their particular needs. Although there are some general rules, it is important not to make assumptions based on a religious or cultural background. However, knowledge of other backgrounds may make communication and understanding easier.

Identification

Often, the police require identification of a body; however sometimes no-one wants to view the body. In this case, some countries allow identification through a photograph, or through glass.

Author note

This paper was prepared by Mary Williams OBE, Chief Executive, Brake with advice on religious rules and rituals by Yunus Dudhwala, Head of Chaplaincy & Bereavement Services, Newham University Hospital NHS Trust, UK

  • Previous page: After a month: identifying and helping people with traumatic grief responses and post-traumatic stress
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and : Viewing the body after bereavement due to a traumatic death: qualitative study in the UK, A Chapple, S Ziebland, 2010, BMJ

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