- Sexy, Naughty, Dirty Texts for Sexting Your Long Distance Lover
- Sexy, naughty, dirty texts for sexting your long distance lover.
- Below are some of my favorite sexy, naughty, dirty texts for sexting your long distance lover:
- I’m in a long distance relationship and we talk about sex a lot. Is it normal?
- Spice Up a LDR(Long Distance Relationship) by Cyber Sex Chat
- Keep Each Other Romantically Involved
- It Keeps You Connected In General
- Try New Things
- Less Nerves
- Get Passed The Frustration
- Cyber Sex Can Be Tailored To Your Relationship
- 10 Tips to Make a Long-Distance Relationship Work
- How to Make a Long-Distance Relationship Work, According to Experts
- Thank you!
- Technology Is Your Best Friend
- Be Committed to the Relationship
- Set An End Date
- Do Stuff Together Even Though You’re Apart
- Make Fun Plans
- Be Confident in Your Relationship
- Stick to a Schedule
- Set Clear Rules and Boundaries
- 1) Clear Up Expectations
- 2) Be Honest and Don’t Lie
- 3) Set a Timeline
- 4) Be Creative and Consistent with Communication
- 5) However, Don’t Communicate Too Excessively
- 6) Share Hobbies With Each Other
- 7) Avoid Unnecessarily Tense Situations
- 8) Set Up a Skype Date Night
- 9) Be Sexy With Each Other
- 10) Think of It as a Test
- 11) Send Each Other Personal Gifts
- 12) Know Each Other’s Schedules
- 13) Keep Track of Each Other’s Instagram and Facebook
- 14) Learn How to Love Being Alone
- 15) Make Sure You’re Using a Great Messaging App
- 16) Play With Each Other Online
- 17) Stay Positive
- 18) Be Confident In Your Relationship
- 19) Don’t Waste Time When You’re Physically Together
- 20) Encourage Your Partner to Make Friends (Even With the Opposite Sex)
- 21) Visit Each Other Whenever Possible
- 22) Have Future Plans in Place
- Related posts (article continues below)
- Related post (article continues below)
- 23) Listen
- 24) Work Your Way Through Arguments
- 25) Accept That It Might Take Months Or Years Before The Big Move
- 26) Let Yourself Trust – and Earn That Trust Yourself
- 27) Many People Are in Long-Distance Relationships- So Don’t Worry So Much
- 28) The Internet Can Add Layers of Tension – So Be Careful
- 29) Texting is Not Always the Best Way to Talk
- 30) You Need to Set Some Ground Rules
- 31) You Might Be Too Tired to Care When You Get Together
- 32) You Might Like Time Alone
- 8 self-help tips for anyone in a long-distance relationship
- 1) Surround yourself with friends
- 2) Listen to your favorite tunes
- 3) Read old messages from your partner
- 4) Send a packaged gift to your partner
- 5) Start a journal and write down your thoughts and feelings
- 6) Get passionate about a project or a hobby
- 7) Exercise
- 8) Take up meditation
- In Conclusion
- You may also like reading:
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Sexy, Naughty, Dirty Texts for Sexting Your Long Distance Lover
Sexy, naughty, dirty texts for sexting your long distance lover.
I’m shy. Really shy. I know people won’t believe me when I say that because I’ve found myself in some pretty crazy situations, but when you’re in a long distance relationship being shy doesn’t fly. If you want to keep your partner’s attention until you’re able to be together again, being bold and brazen like a little hussy is the key to keeping the flames burning.
So if you’re like me, you might need a little help, because my idea of being a femme fatale and turning my man on via sexting and nasty pics goes something like this:
What are you doing?
I’m in bed.
Send me a pic.
Well, it’s pretty dark.
It’s ok, show me anyway!
Yeah, that’s me. Suzy the Seducer. Pro-sexter.
I needed some help, so I called everyone I know for their advice, (“I’m asking for a friend”) and came up with a list of texts, from mild to wild, to help you engage in a bit of “phone-foreplay”.
So here are a few ideas for… conversation starters. Trust me, once he reads these the rest will be easy, sis, just go with the flow.
Below are some of my favorite sexy, naughty, dirty texts for sexting your long distance lover:
I wish you were here right now…
I’m sorry I have you on speaker phone…I’m taking a bubble bath.
Sorry, the phone dropped. I’m texting you with one hand.
When I think about the last time we were together I get so wet.
What were you thinking about the last time you were touching yourself?
I had the strangest dream about you last night and it made me keep thinking about you all day.
I bought the cutest negligee to wear for you tonight.
I wish you were here right now so I could ask you to do something.
I had a dream last night that we were on a plane traveling someplace exotic and it was dark and we were cuddling under a blanket and you won’t believe what happened next.
You taste so good in my mouth.
I had a dream where I was your sex slave.
Have you ever had a sexy dream about me?
What’s your favorite sex position?
If you could do anything you want with me, what would you do?
Have you ever thought about what it would be like to tie me up?
If you and I were going to make a sex video, what would we do?
I was so bored at work so I started fantasizing about what it would be like if you kidnapped me. I had to take a break and go to the ladies room.
I had the funniest thought today. I imagined we were in the middle of an argument and you were really pissed off at me so I just dropped to my knees and started blowing you.
God, I need you inside me right now!
Do you have any suggestions? What have you sexted a partner that made them (or you) crazy? Comment below!
I’m in a long distance relationship and we talk about sex a lot. Is it normal?
Absolutely. A large part of being in a relationship is physical. Touching, hugging, kissing, holding hands, and more intimate closeness are a very important part of the process and are a big part of the difference between being in a relationship or not in one. The modern long distance relationship is easier and harder than in the past. You can see them and talk to them and hear them, but not touch, smell, or taste them. It’s natural for both your desire and your words to try to make up the missing parts any way they can.
As a side suggestion that can be very helpful, buy matching sweatshirts or t-shirts, wear them on a video date together, then wrap them in plastic and send them to each other. The process may seem a bit embarrassing, but the result is a shared experience and, after, something that has been close to your loved one and smells like them. It can be very comforting just to be able to smell them, even when they aren’t there. Also, the video date gives you something to do together in public, so it will be limited to the usual public behaviors, rather than jumping straight to sex.
It isn’t easy to be apart when you’re together, but I can work. My wife and I were apart for the best part of 18 months of the first 2 years we were together. We’ve been married more than 20 years now. Be creative. Find ways to be close. Do things together on audio or video calls.
With luck you will only grow closer and I wish you every bit of luck that gave me the last 26 years with my wife!
Spice Up a LDR(Long Distance Relationship) by Cyber Sex Chat
12/24/2018 by FreeCyberSexSites.com
LDR – Long distance relationships, by their nature, are quite difficult to handle. People are sociable creatures and even with the invention of the internet, we don’t like being separated from our lovers. That being said, there is something that you can do to spice up your long distance relationship. Cyber sex chat is a great way to spice up any LDR because it allows you to have fun and try new things.
Let’s go into detail about how a LDR can benefit from cyber sex chat.
Keep Each Other Romantically Involved
Let’s face it, long distance relationships fail quite often because people don’t have the chance to be romantically involved with each other. The distance makes that impossible. Or does it? With cyber sex chat you are able to still engage in sexual activity no matter how far away you are.
The best part about it? You don’t have to have any experience with each other to enjoy it. You might not have even met each other in person and can still enjoy cyber sex chat.
It Keeps You Connected In General
While text messages and phone calls may keep you connected to some degree, there is very few things that will keep you coming back to each other like sex. Especially sex that both of you can enjoy. Once you start enjoying cyber sex with your long distance partner, you will continue to enjoy it and want to keep up the trend.
Try New Things
People who try new things together tend to stick together. Adventure is the spice of life as many people say. That includes trying new things sexually. However, in a long distance relationship it isn’t possible to try new things sexually in the traditional manner. This is where cyber sex chat comes into play.
Whatever you are interested in trying you can explore in cyber sex. Whether you are interested in things that can’t really happen or that have always made you nervous, you can go into it with confidence.
Many long distance relationships involve couples that have never met or have never had sex. With that in mind, it can be nerve racking to have sex for the first time with a new person. But cyber sex isn’t that way. When you have cyber sex chat you are able to have a sense of comfort when you are with your long distance partner.
You don’t even have to have nerves when you are trying something new. The fact that you don’t have to see each other to have cyber sex chat often helps with that. The fact that you are in different areas and you know you are both enjoying it helps.
Get Passed The Frustration
Being in a long distance relationship can be sexually frustrating. Your hand (or fingers) can only be your best friend for so long by themselves. Cyber sex chat helps to spice that up and avoid that feeling of frustration. It also helps to keep things new.
Cyber Sex Can Be Tailored To Your Relationship
One of the things about cyber sex is that there are so many different forms of it that it can easily fit into your relationship. Whether you like vanilla sex or you want something with a little more kink, you can explore it. You never have to have the same cyber sex chat twice in a row. In fact, you never have to ever experience the same cyber sex chat. You can spice it up every time to make it different. Even if you don’t add kink.
There aren’t many options that you can do besides cyber sex chat that can be tailored to your long distance relationship and personal desires.
So what are you waiting for? Try discussing cyber sex chat with your partner today and you can start seeing the benefits right away. You wouldn’t be alone. Long distance couples around the world use cyber sex chat for all of these benefits and more. Not to mention the fact that cyber sex forces them to be more creative people and that reflects in the rest of their life.
10 Tips to Make a Long-Distance Relationship Work
In this age of Skyping and texting, it seems that maintaining a long-distance relationship would be easier than ever before. Gone are the days of paying such sky-high rates for long-distance calls that they need to be rationed like precious jewels. No longer must someone in a long-distance relationship pin all their hopes on their 3 p.m. mail delivery, awaiting a letter whose news is at best four days old. Why, we’re no longer even in the days of having to wait for your loved one to settle in with their computer to check email: Instant responses are all but demanded now (perhaps a plus and a minus!). But ask anyone who’s in a long-distance relationship: Technology can’t make up for everything. The lack of regular physical proximity still seems to make many long-distance relationships as emotionally tough as ever.
And yet, many of us are trying them. One survey found that 24 percent of respondents had used email/or the Internet to maintain a long-distance relationship (were there any long-distance daters who didn’t?). And the good news is, studies have found that, at worst, long-distance relationship quality does not differ significantly from geographically close relationships, and in some cases, it might even be better.
Will yours survive? What makes the difference? Thankfully, there are specific considerations that will improve your chances of a healthy, lasting love. Here’s what to keep in mind.
1. Prioritize your schedules well.
Different work or school schedules, sleep preferences, and time zones can all wreak havoc on even the most well-intentioned couples when it comes to making time for communicating with each other. Often, a couple can settle into a pattern through inertia, even when it turns out that pattern doesn’t work particularly well for one or both. When are you at your best? When can you devote private, unrushed time to conversation? How do you feel about spontaneous texts? Who has the more flexible schedule? What feels like your most intimate part of the day — or the time when you crave connection the most? Who should initiate the contact? Do you prefer a set time no matter what, or should it vary by the day? There’s no limit to the types of communication arrangements that can work, as long as they feel mutually satisfying. Be mindful about how you choose a rhythm that works for you, so that resentment and frustration don’t build after falling into a pattern that doesn’t feel convenient or supportive.
2. Make sure your goals — and potential endgames — are in the same ballpark.
In general, research shows that long-distance relationships are more satisfying and less stressful when they are understood to be temporary. This makes intuitive sense, as it is easier to keep your eye on the proverbial prize and work together to get through the hardship of being apart, rather than being hopeless and feeling like it will never end. But what happens when one person is more okay with the status quo than the other, or one person is more motivated to find a way to be physically together than the other one is? If one partner views the separation as a temporary hurdle that will end in a major commitment — engagement or moving in together for good, for instance — while the other partner views the distance as a simple necessity that may have to be sustained for the long term, there is bound to be friction. Talk continually about the expectations of exactly what the outcome of your separation will be, and when.
3. Don’t rely solely on technology.
Many long-distance couples may thank their lucky stars for Facetime, video-conferencing, texting, and all the other technological advances that have made it so much easier to stay in real-time contact with their loved one. But let’s not forget the power of having something physical that reminds you of your partner. Keeping a piece of clothing around that still smells like your partner, having a special token that serves as a symbol of your commitment, or displaying a gift from them prominently in your bedroom can serve as proximal reminders of their presence. And don’t underestimate the joy of receiving something tangible from them: a funny postcard, an unexpected gift, or a delivery of your favorite candy — care packages are not just for parents of college students.
4. Focus on quality communication.
Interestingly enough, some research shows that long-distance couples may actually be more satisfied with their communication than geographically close couples are. This may be because they realize how precious their communication opportunities are, and they generally don’t have to waste words on day-to-day logistics (“Why didn’t you take the trash out?” or “But I want Chinese food — we just did Mexican last week”). Use this to your advantage. If you are in a long-distance relationship, you lack the ability to have a high quantity of communication compared to couples that are together in close proximity, but you do have the potential to even exceed them when it comes to quality. If you have daily bedtime conversations, for instance, give a little thought beforehand to the most important parts of your day to talk about. Realize that since you may not have the benefit of facial expression or physical touch, you’ll sometimes need to be a little more deliberate in the words you use. Understand the deficits of a phone call — or even a Skype session — and plan accordingly to make sure you say the things you mean to say. That can help you make sure that the most important, intimacy-building conversations are still being had, no matter how many states (or countries!) separate you.
5. Let the “boring” details become connection.
Bear in mind that a focus on quality communication need not mean you are leaving out the smaller details of your day. It is easy to grow apart if you have no clue what the daily rhythm of your partner’s life is like: Who do they talk to on their lunch hour? What podcasts are they into now? What have they been trying out for dinner? How have they been redecorating their room? Who’s been driving them crazy at work? Don’t make the mistake of thinking that the “boring” details of your day should be a mystery to your partner. Of course, no one wants to listen to nothing but a list of minutiae, but the key is staying in each other’s lives enough that you have a feel for the cast of characters and contexts that make up daily living for them: This helps keep you close, even when the miles do not.
6. Don’t over-plan your time in person.
One significant way that long-distance relationships feel markedly different than geographically close ones is that when you are actually together in person, it often feels there is no time to waste. But this can be a double-edged sword. Yes, it may make you less likely to bicker about who forgot to change the toilet-paper roll, but it also might make you succumb to the urge to pack your time together so full that it stresses out one or both of you. I’ve worked with many people in long-distance relationships who report that they feel quite a lot of pressure to make every in-person moment count; if they only see their partner every two months, for instance, then they understandably want to treat it like a special vacation each and every time. But you mustn’t forget that relationship intimacy is built in small moments as well as big ones: spontaneous movie-watching on the couch as well as playing tourist to the sights of your town or finding the hottest restaurants. Make sure to build some breathing room into the times you spend together. Downtime is not wasted time, but rather the opposite: helping both of you breathe and connect.
7. Don’t put your life on hold.
There is no doubt about it: Long-distance relationships require some sacrifice. But it’s important to be careful not to sacrifice more than is necessary, which can breed resentment and regret over time. This is especially risky when the long-distance part of the relationship is supposed to last only a brief period of time, but unexpectedly needs to be extended longer, whether due to military deployment, employment challenges, or unexpected financial setbacks. In these cases, one partner may have delayed or even avoided spending time cultivating friendships, interests, or hobbies in their locale, because they didn’t think it was worth it — and now they are a couple of years in, wishing that they at least had truly been living more fully in the meantime. It’s one thing to look forward to finally being in the same place as your partner; it’s quite another to postpone being truly engaged in your life until then. Make sure that you are trying your best to make the most of the life you have in your own locale, in the here and now. Don’t isolate yourself, spin your wheels at work, or keep yourself from “bothering” to seek out a sense of community or purpose. Live each day fully, whether your partner is absent or not. Added bonus? It will make the time apart go faster.
8. Reframe the situation as a positive — and believe in it.
Given the positives that accompany some long-distance relationships, it may very well make sense to celebrate your situation as something that can bring benefits despite its drawbacks. Furthermore, if you both can remind yourself of the ways that being apart can make you appreciate each other more (research shows that you may be more likely to idealize your partner when you’re in a long-distance relationship), then this can help you feel more positive about what the distance can bring. Cognitive reframing is helpful across all kinds of difficult life situations, as it helps bring hope and can give us a sense of control. Long-distance relationships are no different. Try to segue from a focus on how unlucky it is to not be able to live in the same place to how this challenge can help you grow together even stronger.
9. Know the difference between “checking in” and “checking up on.”
And this brings us to the major sticking point in many long-distance relationships: the fact that you don’t really have a sense of what your partner is up to, day in and day out. Do you worry that you are “out of sight, out of mind”? Or do you believe quite fully that absence makes the heart grow fonder? You can give yourself a break and acknowledge that long-distance relationships may bring slightly higher worries about infidelity than geographically close ones do, and this is totally normal. But don’t let it fuel behavior that veers toward suspicion or hovering. When you want to connect, connect. When you want to hear your partner’s voice, call them. When you want to text a question, text a question. But don’t play games of detective: Your partner will pick up on the intrusive nature of your inquiries, and they will not feel welcome. You’ve chosen the leap of faith required to be in a long-distance relationship, and you simply can’t know for sure what they’re doing all day: The more you can relax into that, the better off you will be.
10. Let yourself trust — and earn that trust yourself.
Which brings us to one of the most important factors in making any relationship last: trust. The work to build — and keep — trust goes both ways, with your earning it being every bit as important as having it in your partner. And lest you think this is only about the potential for sexual infidelity, it’s important to remember that there are many ways that breakdowns in trust can erode a relationship, even outside of a romantic affair. Can you count on your partner in ways big and small — are they there for the phone call when they said they’d be, or are you frequently shelved when something more “pressing” comes up? Do they stick to the plans you’ve made to fly out to see each other, or do they routinely push back the date, because work got too busy? Do they remember what’s important to you, and listen in ways that make you feel heard and understood, or does each new conversation feel separate, like they weren’t paying attention last time, or like their mind is somewhere else altogether? All of these questions can apply to yourself as well, of course. Are you being the partner that you are worthy of having?
What’s been important in your own long-distance relationship? Let me know in the comments!
How to Make a Long-Distance Relationship Work, According to Experts
I may be standing on top of a mountain in New Zealand, 7,000 miles away from my husband, but I don’t think we’ve ever been happier or felt more in love. When I FaceTime him we laugh and giggle like newlyweds.
My husband Nick and I are no strangers to a long-distance relationship; and through trial and error, we figured out how to make our long-distance relationship work. We met in the Galapagos when I lived in New York and he lived in California. We never even lived together until we got married. Even now, three years married with a one-year-old son, we’re in different parts of the world for work about a third of the time. The time apart, the distance, makes our relationship better. I like having the time to miss him, to remember why I wanted to be with him in the first place.
And I’m not alone. I hear success stories about long-distance relationships on a regular basis. Some of the happiest couples I know are in long-distance relationship some or all of the time. Most experts even think it’s really healthy for a relationship to begin when two people live in different places.
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“When people meet and are infatuated with each other, it is generally thought that the initial surge of emotion lasts longer when the couple is separated,” says Dr. Phillip Lee and Dr. Diane Rudolph, the co-heads of Couples Therapy at Weill Cornell Medicine.
“Eventually there is a risk of decreasing affection, and for those who are beyond the infatuation phase, there is a greater risk in separation, but also a greater potential benefit,” says Lee.
The statistics on long-distance relationships are encouraging. According to a 2013 study from the Journal of Communication, approximately three million Americans live apart from their spouse at some point during their marriage, and 75% of college students have been in a long distance relationship at one time or another. Research has even shown that long distance couples tend to have the same or more satisfaction in their relationships than couples who are geographically close, and higher levels of dedication to their relationships and less feelings of being trapped.
“One of the greatest benefits is that you do a lot more talking and learning about each other, since you spend more time having conversations than you might if you were sitting side-by-side watching Netflix, or out running errands or doing activities together,” says Lori Gottlieb, a psychotherapist who specializes in relationships.
“There’s also the benefit of cultivating your own friendships and interests, so that you’re more interesting people and have more to bring to the relationship. You have more alone time than people who live in the same city do, so you’re very excited to see each other and really value the time you do spend together,” says Gottlieb.
Of course, long-distance relationship problems exist, but if two people are committed to making it work the outlook isn’t bleak. We talked to experts about how to overcome some of the hardships of loving from afar and for long-distance relationship tips.
Technology Is Your Best Friend
Gottlieb says that long-distance relationships are easier now than ever because we have so many ways to stay connected thanks to technology.
“A lot of the glue of a relationship is in the day-to-day minutia, and with technology, you can share that in real time, instantaneously, with photos, texts and FaceTime. That’s very different from letters or long-distance phone calls,” says Gottlieb. “Also, because people in long-distance relationships rely more heavily on technology to stay connected, in some ways tech allows them to communicate verbally even more than couples who see each other , but sit in the same room not interacting at all.”
Gottlieb also advises that it’s important to share details with your partner instead of just generalizations. For example, don’t just say, “I went to this dinner and had a great time.” Instead, really delve into the details. Talk about who was there, what you talked about, what you ate and how it made you feel. It will make the everyday come alive for your partner even though they weren’t there to witness it.
Be Committed to the Relationship
This applies to everyone involved in long-distance relationships, but is particularly true for people pursuing long-distance relationships in college. It’s important to know that you’re truly committed to a person before wasting precious time. “If you’re in college, really truly think about if you love this person, and if they’re worth foregoing being single in college,” says Bela Gandhi, the founder of Smart Dating Academy. The importance of being single in college, according to Gandhi, is that you get to experiment and test the waters to determine what you really want and need in a relationship. “I see so many people that just go through the motions of a long-distance and fritter away their college years.”
If you choose to stay in a long-distance relationship in college it’s imperative that you have a plan for what happens next and that you both work towards that goal. That’s another reason that Gandhi says going long distance in college can be hard. It’s daunting to have to plan your future around another person when you hardly know what your own future holds.
After surviving four years apart try your best to end the distance after college. “Ideally, you both end up working in the same city after graduation,” says Gandhi. “Long-distance relationships that are going to stand the test of time need a plan to end the distance at some point.”
Set An End Date
While long-distance love can be a great thing for a finite time, eventually you probably want to be in the same place as your partner. It helps both parties to know when that will happen. “It’s hard being apart, so you both have to be equally committed to the relationship and be on the same page about how long this situation will last, and what the plan is for eventually living in the same place,” says Gottlieb.
Do Stuff Together Even Though You’re Apart
Just because you aren’t physically in the same place doesn’t mean you can’t have fun together. “Plan a movie night together via Skype where you can watch the same movie even when you’re in different places,” suggests Gandhi.
Netflix, or other streaming services, makes it easier than ever to binge-watch shows with your partner. Gandhi also recommends doing online quizzes or games together, and discussing the results to spark new and interesting conversations.
Make Fun Plans
Delight in the details of what the two of you will do the next time you see each other. “Plan your next weekend together. Make it a ritual to talk about the fun things you’ll do together. Maybe you can decide that every night you’re together, you’ll try new restaurants instead of going to the same places,” says Gandhi. This will create something that both partners can look forward to.
Gandhi also suggests scheduling “good night video calls” when you’re both your PJs in order to create a sense of going to bed together.
Be Confident in Your Relationship
According to both Lee and Rudolph, insecurity can lead to one partner checking in on the other one too often. This can result in excessive calls and texts being sent for the wrong reasons, and can lead to unnecessary tension.
“The constructive reason couples communicate is to provide their partners with a sense of their lives and what’s important to them. When the communication is hijacked by insecurity, the anxious partner will not be reassured, and the other partner will be turned off by the constant checking ,” warn Lee and Rudolph. “The frequency of interaction in couples separated by distance needs to correlate to the same parameters of interaction when both are at home. It needs to be at a level agreeable to both parties.”
Stick to a Schedule
Timing matters, especially when your time together is precious. To keep long-distance relationships going you need to actually see one another, know when you’re going to see each other and be able to trust that the other person will stick to that plan.
“You don’t want to go long periods of time without seeing each other,” says Gottlieb.
Set Clear Rules and Boundaries
Don’t do anything you wouldn’t want the other person to see on social media, advise Lee and Rudolph.
Gandhi adds that you should do you best to stay out of situations that might make your long-distance partner feel uncomfortable or threatened — within reason. You don’t need to check in before or get approval for every social interaction with your partner, but you should set clear boundaries and rules that work for the both of you and adhere to them.
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In this article, you’ll learn everything you need to know about how to make a long-distance relationship work.
What to do.
What not to do.
(And most of important of all) how to make your relationship grow and thrive even when you’re apart from each other physically.
We have a lot to cover so let’s get started.
1) Clear Up Expectations
The first golden rule in a long-distance relationship is that you need to communicate everything, even the smaller things that you wouldn’t normally even think to talk about.
After all, nothing can break a relationship faster than one partner breaking another partner’s unsaid rule.
So have a discussion with your partner and set all the ground rules: exclusiveness, commitment, open-mindedness, and so on.
According to dating coach Fran Greene in her chat to Elite Daily, the first step to a successful long-distance relationship is discussing how it actually affects you when you’re physically apart:
“It is so hard, yet so important, to talk with your partner about your feelings about the separation. It starts with acknowledging and accepting that you physically apart and how it you, your partner and the relationship.”
2) Be Honest and Don’t Lie
The second most important rule in a long-distance relationship is to be honest. Always.
You might not believe it, but the moment you start lying, your partner will start to feel that something is wrong.
No matter how good of a liar you are, you can never completely hide when something is up. It might be a change in your behavior, your schedule, or two or three lies running into each other; whatever it is, your partner will notice.
And that kind of lying is something you will never be able to repair.
3) Set a Timeline
In every long-distance relationship, you and your partner will eventually start asking yourself: why are we doing this?
The pain, struggle, and yearning will all start to feel pointless after a while, especially if you don’t know what your end goal might be.
So sit down and talk with your partner and set up your expected timeline. This will give both of you a better idea of how long the “long distance” portion of the relationship will last, and whether or not you are both capable of waiting that long.
4) Be Creative and Consistent with Communication
While you shouldn’t smother your partner, you should be consistent enough to show that you care.
A daily “good morning” and “good night” message is enough to show that you love them and think about them, but that’s not enough.
Send random audio and video clips of your day; talk about stupid, mundane moments and encounters; share your ramblings and annoyances.
Make them a part of your life, even if they’re thousands of kilometers away.
According to author Steven John in Business Insider, who was in a long-distance relationship for 3 years, communication was one of the most important factors in making it work:
“In any relationship, communication is key. In a long-distance relationship especially, all you and your partner have when it comes to communicating are your actual words.”
5) However, Don’t Communicate Too Excessively
This is a big problem that many people in long-distance relationships make. They want to communicate every hour of every day.
Unfortunately, this isn’t possible, and it isn’t healthy, either.
When you’re in the same city, do you communicate every hour? I don’t think so.
So don’t do it when you’re in different cities, or you’ll become exhausted and you’ll lose that spark that makes you two so great together.
As mentioned above, it’s important to keep in contact and let them know what you’re doing, but you need to live your life as well.
Author Steven John has some great advice again:
“I recommend only saying what you really mean and verbalizing everything you want your partner to know. Little rifts or confusions that could be patched with a kiss or a hand laid on an arm can grow needlessly in long-distance relationships, and they take much more time and effort to heal from afar.”
If you can’t bond physically, then you need to bond mentally.
This means sharing hobbies and “likes” with each other—your favorite movies, shows, books, music, and more. Discuss politics, talk about your thoughts on everything from pop culture to religion.
Keep up to date with each other on your latest musings.
The biggest danger to a long-distance relationship is a lack of contact, which can cause the spark to start drifting away. Having similar interests and hobbies gives you a reason to be in contact and it keeps the conversations fun.
7) Avoid Unnecessarily Tense Situations
Let’s say the new person at the office asks you for a drink after work.
It might seem like a harmless office friendship to you, but to your significant other on the other side of the world, it could mean anything.
Innocent or not, putting yourself in a potentially “dangerous” situation adds unnecessary stress to your relationship. Be more considerate of your partner’s feelings.
8) Set Up a Skype Date Night
This one may sound a little strange, but it can help to set up a specific night each week where you have a real date…on skype.
You could dress up, light the candles and block out all other distractions for a couple of hours, just like you would for a physical date.
In Bustle, Behavioral Scientist Clarissa Silva says that she used to do exactly that when she was in a long-distance relationship:
“Set up a date and time as you would in real life and do everything you would in real life…Get dressed up, candle light, wine/champagne setting, any routine you have for a physical date apply it to your video date…I showed up in a sequin top for a date with my now- husband and we still laugh about it three years later.”
9) Be Sexy With Each Other
A huge part of relationships is the sexual tension and keeping that tension alive needs a bit more work in a long-distance relationship.
Talk sexy with each other on chat or on calls; things like double entendres, sexy puns, or even just reminders that you both find each other sexually attractive is all it takes to keep that fire going.
Desiring each other sexually is like the glue that keeps the relationship together.
10) Think of It as a Test
A long-distance relationship might not be your ideal set up, but it all depends on how you think about it.
Instead of seeing it as a burden, think of it as a test. Is your love strong enough to survive the distance and the time?
If it is, then you might be rewarded with the best relationship you will ever have in your life.
11) Send Each Other Personal Gifts
This doesn’t have to be anything expensive or fancy. Something small and something personal, a memento that has sentimental value to you.
Send your partner a letter or explain it to them before you part ways, and share the importance of the memento to you as you hand it over.
In an interview with Bustle, Behavioral Scientist Clarissa Silva had a great idea for what you could send your partner if you’re in a long-distance relationship:
“We are in constant electronic contact, but that only stimulates our visual and auditory senses…Although you may not be able to physically be together, sending your partner a card in the mail sprayed with your perfume or cologne will remind your significant other of your scent and will be just as intoxicating.”
12) Know Each Other’s Schedules
It’s useful to know when your partner is working and when they’re free. This avoids the awkward situation of one partner wanting to speak and the other one being busy.
This can cause unwanted tension where one partner starts questioning what the other partner is really doing.
You can easily avoid this by being honest with each other about your schedules and what you’re doing.
After all, you don’t want your partner calling when you’re in an exam or during an important business meeting.
13) Keep Track of Each Other’s Instagram and Facebook
This is a great way to keep engagement high. Make sure to be on the lookout for your partner’s updates and happenings on social media.
Like them, comment on their posts. Let them know you’re around and you’re keeping tabs. Be cool about stalking about each other.
14) Learn How to Love Being Alone
One major reason why most long-distance relationships fail is that people end up needing their partner more than their partner can accommodate.
With no one to hug, hold, and cuddle, you might start to feel unbearably lonely, to the point that you would give up your relationship for a closer yet less meaningful alternative.
The solution? Love yourself. Fill the void in your heart with love for yourself. When you wish you had your partner with you, just replace that with a sense of fullness drawn from your own self-love.
Not only will it ease the tension on your relationship, but it will also make you a more complete individual.
(To learn more about self-love, check out my ultimate guide on how to love yourself here)
15) Make Sure You’re Using a Great Messaging App
This one sounds obvious, but it’s more important than you think.
Messaging is obviously going to be your main form of communication, so make sure it’s an App that you both actively use. For me, it’s Whatsapp, but for some people, it’s Line or Facebook Messenger. And there are plenty more as well.
Make sure you both use the messaging App consistently, otherwise it could be difficult to get in contact.
According to psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb in Time Magazine, an important part of a relationship these days is sharing your day-to-day happenings, so having a great messaging app will allow you to do that easily:
“A lot of the glue of a relationship is in the day-to-day minutia, and with technology, you can share that in real time, instantaneously, with photos, texts, and FaceTime. That’s very different from letters or long-distance phone calls.”
16) Play With Each Other Online
Games, social media, messaging apps—the Internet is more exciting and interactive than ever. Play with your partner and keep it fun; not everything has to be a romantic conversation.
Sometimes you just want to blast someone’s head off in an online game, and what better way to do that than with your partner standing and laughing beside you online?
17) Stay Positive
It’s so easy to become lonely and despondent in a long-distance relationship.
You might feel like a ladder with one leg, standing up on your own with no one to help you balance. But the truth is simple—you just need to hold out.
Stay positive and keep smiling: it will be worth it in the end.
Have faith that everything will work out. According to a 2013 study from the Journal of Communication, approximately three million Americans live apart from their spouse at some point during their marriage.
(To learn 5 science-backed ways to be more positive, )
18) Be Confident In Your Relationship
Insecurity can result in excessive calls, messages and unnecessary tension. It will cause the commutation between the two of you to be no longer fun or engaging, and from there it’s a slippery slope.
In a long-distance relationship, you have to be confident that you’re relationship will survive. At the heart of this is trust.
(To learn more about creating a healthy, long-lasting relationship, check out our most popular eBook on essential dating secrets here)
19) Don’t Waste Time When You’re Physically Together
When you do physically see each other, you don’t need to go out on romantic date nights, bar crawls or to concerts, you just need to spend time together.
Be intimate with each other.
I’m not talking about sex, but you need to cuddle, to kiss, to talk deeply with each other. This is all vital for a healthy relationship.
According to psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb in Time Magazine, spending time apart is actually beneficial in spending more valuable time together when you do see each other:
“One of the greatest benefits is that you do a lot more talking and learning about each other, since you spend more time having conversations than you might if you were sitting side-by-side watching Netflix, or out running errands or doing activities together…You have more alone time than people who live in the same city do, so you’re very excited to see each other and really value the time you do spend together.”
20) Encourage Your Partner to Make Friends (Even With the Opposite Sex)
You have to live your life, and making friends is crucial to finding happiness, especially if you’re in a new city.
And yes, if some friends happen to be with the opposite sex, then that’s going to have to be fine.
If you can’t be free to make friends with anyone then that will make your life very restrictive. This can result in tension and conflict building up which isn’t helpful for any long-distance relationship.
Trust your partner and be honest with each other. Without trust, a relationship won’t survive.
“Once trust is built, distance cannot kill it. Time and space alone cannot destroy authentic connection.” – Vironika Tugaleva
21) Visit Each Other Whenever Possible
This should be obvious, but visit each other whenever you can! If you can squeeze in a trip to your partner even just for a day or a weekend, then why not?
Not every visit has to last weeks or months.
In fact, the shorter visits might even be more meaningful than the longer ones, because it will prove to your partner that you’re willing to make that extra bit of effort.
22) Have Future Plans in Place
A relationship won’t survive if it’s a long-distance relationship forever. Eventually, you’ll need to live in the same city (and the same place).
Related posts (article continues below)
So start to make a plan as to how that can happen. Organize some goals. It will give both of you the peace of mind that this relationship has a future.
Related post (article continues below)
Uncertainty is a huge threat to a long-distance relationship, so organizing plans are the perfect way to mitigate that threat.
(If you’re looking for a structured, easy-to-follow framework to help you find your purpose in life and achieve your goals, check our eBook on how to be your own life coach here).
This goes without saying, but you need to actually listen to your partner when you’re talking.
This is important for any relationship, but especially for a long-distance one.
Communication needs to be rock solid. So if one of you only cares about themselves and what’s going on in their own life, communication will obviously suffer.
Listening is more than silence on the other end of the phone. It’s actively listening. Asking follow-up questions, providing solutions, remembering what happened the day before. It’s simply an active effort to be involved in each other’s life.
24) Work Your Way Through Arguments
Miscommunication and arguments are bound to happen in a long-distance relationship. The key to working through these slight tensions and miscommunication is being honest and communicating how you really feel.
Speak directly and don’t play games. There’s no need to censor yourself and remain closed. They’re your partner after all.
25) Accept That It Might Take Months Or Years Before The Big Move
Yes, it’s great to organize plans for the future. But unfortunately, these plans might not happen for months or years.
And as hard as it is, you need to accept that.
When it comes to our careers and other reasons for moving country or city, there’s a lot we simply can’t control.
You can never be absolutely certain of the future. If they deserve a promotion at work, then you’re not going to get in the way of that.
You both know you’ll eventually be together, it just might be a little longer than you anticipated. The easier you can accept that, the more likely the long-distance relationship will be successful.
According to author Steven John, even while he was living apart from his partner, they were still planning where their future would be together. This way, even if they are apart for months or years, at least they know they would eventually be together.
“My wife and I were engaged for the last year and a half of our time apart, and were actively planning a wedding for much of that (more credit goes to her on that, of course). We were also scoping out apartments in LA, planning a honeymoon, looking for jobs, and generally, y’know, planning our lives together, with that last word being the operative.”
26) Let Yourself Trust – and Earn That Trust Yourself
In all honesty, this is probably the most important tip.
To build trust, it goes both ways. Earning it is just as important as having it in your partner.
It’s not just about trusting your partner to not cheat on you. It’s more than that.
Can you count on your partner in big ways and small? Do they call you when they say they will? Do they stick to the plans you’ve made to see each other? Are they paying attention? Do they remember the small important details in your life?
All of these questions can apply you to as well. If you fully trust each other, then there’s no need to worry about being in a long-distance relationship – it will work.
To learn more about long-distance relationships and how to make them work, read the below 6 truths that will help you dispel any misconceptions you have about them.
27) Many People Are in Long-Distance Relationships- So Don’t Worry So Much
A lot of people are in long-distance relationships. All you have to do is grab your phone and open your Facebook account to see all your contacts that live in one place but their spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend or significant other lives in another.
According to a 2013 study from the Journal of Communication, approximately three million Americans live apart from their spouse at some point during their marriage.
The way the world works these days a lot of people work in one place and live in another.
A lot of people, thanks to the internet, have opportunities to meet people they wouldn’t normally have had the chance to meet and that means that more people spend more time apart than they would normally like. But it can work.
28) The Internet Can Add Layers of Tension – So Be Careful
Whether or not the internet brought two people together into a long-distance relationship, the internet can add layers of tensions.
For starters, if one person is keen on posting lots of pictures and events and social functions, the other person might start to wonder what’s going on and why aren’t they on the sofa as miserable as I am without them?
It can be difficult for one person to have a life while the other is off at work.
In many parts of the world, people go off to work and leave their families behind.
Life goes on as much as you might not want to admit it and that can make it difficult for people who see how things are when they are not home.
29) Texting is Not Always the Best Way to Talk
One of the drawbacks of being in a long-distance relationship is the frequency with which you may rely on texting to communicate with one another.
What might start out as convenient might actually prevent you from having a meaningful relationship later if things go sideways?
If your relationship is in trouble and you are trying to work it out on my iMessage, it’s probably not going to work.
Yes, you have time to think about what you want to say, but you also run the risk of things being misinterpreted and misunderstood, causing more grief and pain for both of you.
30) You Need to Set Some Ground Rules
Whenever couples are apart for long periods of time, they should take the time to consider how the relationship will work.
Times to call home? When will you be back? What about the kids? Who will come to see whom and when?
All of these details might not seem like a big deal at the time of departing but if you can have a plan and some rules about how this is all going to work, you’ll both part ways feeling better about the situation.
Don’t wait for issues to arise to try to figure out how you are going to fix things. Be prepared and have a plan ahead of time so you don’t get sidelined in your own relationship.
31) You Might Be Too Tired to Care When You Get Together
One thing that might happen is that when you finally get together after weeks of being apart, you might be too tired to put in the effort to make your time together special.
This is especially true of moms who are left home while dads go off to work. Moms already have a full plate every day of the week and add single parenthood to the list of things to do and when Dad comes home, Mom might not care to get cozy.
She might just want to take advantage of the fact that another person is in the house to wrangle the kids.
32) You Might Like Time Alone
A funny offshoot of long-distance relationships is that one or both people might actually like and welcome the time alone.
It might not be something you say out loud, but it’s important to acknowledge that you do have your life and you are allowed to live it.
When your significant other is gone, you should be living it up and doing what you want without guilt.
When there’s guilt, there’s an underlying problem.
You might find that it’s not the distance that has made you grown apart, but how much you like the distance that causes the relationship to collapse.
Be honest about your feelings and what you both want and need from the relationship and your long-distance relationship will be able to thrive instead of just survive.
If you think that you’re still struggling, or you’re going to struggle in your long-distance relationship, check out the below self-help tips which will help you cope during the hard times:
8 self-help tips for anyone in a long-distance relationship
Image credit: – By Oksana Yurlova
There’s no doubt that it’s tough to be in a long-distance relationship especially when you’re dealing with issues of your own.
I have been in a long-distance relationship for over one year. It’s tough at times but doable.
I believe that long-distance relationships have the same problems as normal relationships – everything is just magnified.
I have my own personal problems, and it’s difficult to deal with them alone. Usually, it helps to have your significant other physically around.
Whether it’s to lean on or just hang out with so you can forget about your problems, it just becomes a little more difficult when they’re on the other side of the country.
Face-time and Skype can only provide so much comfort.
So if you feel like you’re still struggling with a long-distance relationship, despite implementing the above tips, you need to focus on yourself. You need to do things you’re interested in and develop some self-love techniques.
Here are some ideas:
1) Surround yourself with friends
When you can’t physically be close to your partner, it can certainly feel like you’re lacking in connection.
So get connected with your friends. Go watch a movie, have a drink or go shopping. Whatever it is, being connected with others is important no matter who you are.
2) Listen to your favorite tunes
What music are you into? Put it on and let it soothe your soul!
According to research, music can make you feel happier, healthier and more productive at all stages of life. It’s also a great way to release your emotions!
3) Read old messages from your partner
It sounds a little lame but it can certainly make you feel good to read past messages from your partner.
I’m sure you’ve sent a lot of messages to each other, so go over some old ones and be reminded of how much they really love you and care for you.
4) Send a packaged gift to your partner
This is always a good idea for people who are in a long-distance relationship. Send them a package of something that they’ll absolutely love.
It’ll remind them how much you care for them, and making your partner happy will make you happy!
5) Start a journal and write down your thoughts and feelings
Writing down your thoughts is a great way to reorganize all your thoughts that are leaving your mind in a fog. You’ll clarify underlying emotions and get rid of all the clutter.
I personally journal every day and it has been one of the best hobbies I’ve taken up.
6) Get passionate about a project or a hobby
This is one of the best ways to lift your mood when you’re in a long-distance relationship.
After all, you have plenty of extra time now that your partner is away.
Starting a passion project is one of the best ways to make use of that time.
It could be starting a blog, taking up dancing, creating videos, writing a book. Whatever it is, get stuck into it and take your mind off the fact that your partner isn’t around.
When you’re feeling down, exercise is one of the best things you can do to lift yourself up.
Research suggests that physical stress can relieve mental stress.
Harvard Health says that aerobic exercise is key for your head, just as it is for your heart:
“Regular aerobic exercise will bring remarkable changes to your body, your metabolism, your heart, and your spirits. It has a unique capacity to exhilarate and relax, to provide stimulation and calm, to counter depression and dissipate stress. It’s a common experience among endurance athletes and has been verified in clinical trials that have successfully used exercise to treat anxiety disorders and clinical depression. If athletes and patients can derive psychological benefits from exercise, so can you.”
8) Take up meditation
Meditation has long been known to reduce stress and achieve a calm state of mind. Recent studies have also backed this up.
Now that you’ve got some extra time, it could be extremely beneficial to take up meditation.
The good news is, anyone can practice it. Here are 4 steps to getting started:
1) Select a time and a place that are free of distractions.
2) Get comfortable. Any body position that makes you feel relaxed and comfortable.
3) Focus on your breathe. Simply watch as your breathe goes in and out. Try to breathe in and out with your stomach.
4) If you get distracted, simply return to your breathing. Don’t get annoyed if your mind constantly strays, just try your best to continually focus on your breathing.
It’s that simple!
You can read all the tips in the world about how to make a long-distance relationship succeed, but in all honesty, the only people who will make the relationship work will be the people in it.
There’s no question that a long-distance relationship is difficult, but it’s very doable.
As long as you can stay engaged in each other’s life through the good days and the bad days and you fully trust and support each other, you can make it work.
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