Lying on your back is the most surefire way to get off from oral, say most experts. But if you’ve got time to explore, test out one of these saucier oral sex positions.


RELATED: 36 Sex Positions Everyone Should Try in Their Lifetime

1. Fully Clothed
POSE: Just hike up your skirt or dress (sorry, this won’t work with pants) and sit on the edge of something while he kneels between your legs. No need even to pull down your undies—just push them aside so he can get to work. The immediacy and spontaneity of it will feel supersexy.

PERK: You can take it out of the bedroom to the couch, a kitchen chair, his home office…anywhere with a seat. Also, this position may be easier on his neck than your lying on your back, which can help him go longer, explains Cooper.

You have to see how sex toys have evolved over time:

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2. Sideways 69
POSE: Instead of doing the more traditional (and honestly, more clumsy) version—where one of you lies on top of the other—lie on your sides. It is way comfier and gives him better access.

PERK: It’s bad…in a good way. The hottest thing about this move is that it feels down and dirty, says Hollander.

3. Standing Up
POSE: Have him lie across a bench on his back, while you stand over him.

PERK: From this vantage point, you’ll have an amazing view of his body—it will be pretty obvious how much he’s enjoying himself. If you feel like being generous, you can lean forward and use your hands to tease him a bit too.

4. You on Top
POSE: While he lies on the bed, straddle his face and kneel, placing your privates where they need to be. Don’t stare at the ceiling–look directly at him. Ain’t no turn-on like eye contact when he’s going to town.

PERK: He still does most of the work, but you get to take the reins a bit by tilting your pelvis and moving closer or farther away for optimal orgasm pressure.

Oral sex can be one of the most incredible, orgasmic kinds of partner play around. It can also be one of the most awkward and uncomfortable. Since oral sex is just about the most intimate thing you can do with a person (say what you will about penetrative intercourse, but nothing feels quite as up-close-and-personal as face-to-genitalia action), it makes sense to take some time to figure out which oral sex position is right for you, your partner, and the situation you’re in right now.

And you really do have options. Though our visions of oral sex typically involve blowjobs, 69, and even the occasional face-sit, the oral sex position landscape is far more varied. There are plenty of positions that involve both partners reclining (so no one has to worry about sitting on top of anyone else)—and plenty that offer exciting spins on tried-and-true favorites.

Whether you’re an oral sexpert looking for new additions to your repertoire, or a beginner who’s simply searching for an oral sex position that’ll work for them, you’re sure to find it below. Orgasms and intimacy await—scroll down.

Cierra Miller.

1. Comfy Blowjob

I personally have no issue with the “on your knees” blowjob position, but I know a lot of people who feel uncomfortable with the power dynamic inherent to that set-up—so let’s nix that position for now, and turn it into something more comfortable.

Have the partner receiving oral sex lie down on the bed or floor (preferably a carpet—nobody wants to give or receive head on cold tiles) with their head propped upon a pillow. The partner performing oral sex can also lie down—but on their stomach—with their head between their partner’s legs. (Face-to-balls or face-to-vulva, if you will.) The partner giving oral sex can prop themselves up as much or as little as they want to using their elbows and knees.

The Comfy Blowjob is exactly as comfy as it sounds—and offers a great view to everyone involved.

Cierra Miller.

2. Relaxed Face-Sitting

Nothing about the term “sit on my face” sounds relaxing, but this comfy take on the position makes everything feel a little more low-key.

Have the partner giving oral sex lie flat on their back on the floor, bed, couch (or other setting of choice). Then, have the partner receiving oral sex straddle over their partner’s face. This is where the relaxation comes in—instead of sitting upright and looking down, the receiving partner should lean forward so they’re on all fours, resting on their hands or elbows. This offers ideal pressure and tempers some of the discomfort associated with the classic face-sit. It also enables the receiving partner to move forward and backward—allowing them to take their pleasure into their own hands.

Cierra Miller.

3. Sideways 69

69 is a classic for a reason, but it can be intimidating if you’ve never tried it before. By turning the position sideways, you get the same reciprocal stimulation with none of the potential suffocation—plus, it’s just easier for everyone involved.

Start by lying on your side, facing your partner’s genitals. Have them do the same. You can lift your leg up and wrap it around your partner’s neck or body to pull them closer in and up the pressure.

Cierra Miller.

4. Sitting Down and Going Down

Blowjobs are hard work! Why not sit down while you’re at it? Start by sitting side-by-side on the couch with your partner, then take turns performing oral sex in a “road head” position. (And please do this instead of ever performing actual road head.) This can be a fun way to interrupt a lazy afternoon watching TV and throw a little excitement into the mix.

Cierra Miller.

5. The Side Sit

The traditional cunnilingus position—where the receiving partner lies down on the bed, legs spread—can feel incredibly intimidating, even vulnerable. If you’re not comfortable having a person’s face in between your thighs, try lying on your side to receive oral sex, instead. Turn onto either side, and pull your thighs in toward your chest—keeping your feet stretched out a bit in front of you. This offers your partner access to your vulva and anus—giving them two areas to explore—while keeping you more comfortable.

Sex can be a great way to reconnect with your partner, or cement a growing bond in a new romance. Some couples are happy with the occasional mutually-satisfying quickie, or a regularly-scheduled weekend session that relies on the same ol’ reliable positions to get the job done. (The “job” means an orgasm, in case that wasn’t clear.) Meanwhile, others may rely on a trusty toy every time.

Like all types of consensual sex, a routine that works is A-OK. Yet research has shown time and again that trying new things together—both in and out of bed—can help keep the spark alive. So why not change it up once in awhile?

“If you try something new and it’s a flop, that can be positive, too,” says August McLaughlin, author of GirlBoner: The Good Girl’s Guide to Sexual Empowerment. “Laugh together when things get wonky. The vulnerability, goofiness, and even messiness of sex can bolster intimacy, if we let them.”

Light a few candles, set those phones to do-not-disturb, and prepare to rediscover each other with these sex expert-recommended intimate sex positions.

Seated Wrap-Around, aka the Seated Hug

Temi Oyelola

Also known as the Lotus Blossom (as it’s called in the ancient Indian sex guide the Kama Sutra), the Seated Wrap-Around requires you and your partner to embrace each other—ideal for gazing into each other’s eyes.

“You can also try this position without penetration or even aiming for orgasm,” McLaughlin says. “Making out is highly underrated, and an incredible way to heighten connection and arousal. So if you do end up moving toward orgasm, it’ll be more pleasurable.”

How to do it: One partner straddles the other partner while you both sit cross-legged. The top partner wraps their legs around the bottom partner as you face each other and embrace. The bottom partner enters the top partner vaginally with a toy or penis.

The Laptop

Temi Oyelola

“There’s nothing more intimate than face-to-face, slow, deep penetration sex, and this position is one of my favorites,” says Jennifer Baritchi, co-author of The Big Black Book of Sex Positions: Take Your Sex Life From Boring To Mind-Blowing in a Few More Than 69 Moves

How to do it: This one involves a bit of flexibility. The partner penetrating with their penis or toy sits in a chair with his or her feet flat on the floor, while the other partner sits on their lap, facing them. Rest the backs of your knees on your partner’s shoulders, and your calves and feet on or over the back of a chair.

“You can grasp your partner’s neck to help maintain your balance, but he or she should hold your lower back for support,” Baritchi advises. “If you need to feel more stable, a slight variation would be to sit on a countertop or table and lean back onto your hands.”

Forward-facing Cowgirl

Temi Oyelola

This is a basic woman-on-top position—as opposed to backwards cowgirl, where the female sex partner faces away from her partner during penetration.

“This position offers a lot of variety, and the woman has more control over rhythm, vigor, and depth of penetration,” explains Moushumi Ghose, therapist and author of Classic Sex Positions Reinvented: Your Favorite Sex Positions – 100 Wild and Erotic Ways. “These positions also emphasize a woman’s pleasure, as they suggest that she knows how to please herself and is happy to take the reins, ‘riding’ her partner as a cowgirl rides a bucking horse or bull.” Yee-haw, indeed. Ghose adds that this is a good position for pregnancy sex, as well.

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How to do it: The penetrating partner lies on their back, sits up on the edge of the bed, or leans back against a wall or headboard. The other partner rises up on her knees and either flings a leg across their partner’s hips, or straddles them at them feet and inches up their body with one knee on each side. She then guides her partner’s penis or strap-on into her and initiates the movement. “From this position, a woman can easily slide down between their partner’s legs and give them some oral pleasure, or move her hips up over their face to enjoy some cunnilingus,” Ghose says.

Face-to-Face Masturbation

Temi Oyelola

“Little feels more intimate than locking eyes with a partner, especially when you’re pleasuring yourselves,” says McLaughlin. “As a bonus, mutual masturbation allows you to show each other how you love being touched.”

How to do it: Stand or lie down facing each other, then look into each other’s eyes as you each move your hands over your own body, focusing on your most erogenous parts.

Coital Alignment Technique (CAT)

Temi Oyelola

Don’t let the clinical name turn you off: McLaughlin emphasizes that “this position is wonderful for clitoral stimulation, which makes orgasm more likely for anyone with a vulva.” Since it requires one person to put their full weight on the other’s body, McLaughlin compares the stress-allaying feeling it can give to that of a weighted blanket.

How to do it: Start out in standard “missionary position,” with the person with a penis or strap-on on top. That person will evenly distribute their weight over the bottom partner’s body and relax their muscles. Staying in close contact, the person on top should slide upwards, while their chin rests on the bottom’s shoulder. Tip: Keep your pelvises aligned (thus, the technical name), so the base of the penis or strap-on stimulates the other partner’s clitoris.

The Hound

Temi Oyelola

Despite the name, this position has absolutely nothing to do with Game of Thrones—and, according to Ghose, it’s probably the most intimate spin on “doggy-style.”

“This position is great—from slow, deep thrusting and quick, shallow thrusts,” Ghose advises. “Start slow, and then go faster. Alternate between deep and shallow. In this variation, there is more skin-to-skin contact, and breasts, nipples, clitoris, and anus are all within easy reach. One partner can nibble the other’s ears, kiss their neck, or breathe dirty-sweet phrases down their back.”

How to do it: Both partners are on their knees. The penetrating partner is on the outside, curling their body around the other person, entering from behind. The other partner rests on their forearms, and can swivel their hips to find the most comfortable, pleasurable angle of penetration.

Face-to-Face Sex Standing Up

Temi Oyelola

“Face-to-face standing sex is great for intimacy and kissing,” Ghose says, “though the one thing that’s missing from many upright positions is the aspect of stability, which comes from a bed or flat surface.”

How to do it: Both partners stand face to face; it might be helpful if the partner being penetrated is standing with their back against a wall with their legs apart. The penetrating partner stands between the other’s legs, lifts one, and then enters. (Using a personal lubricant can make the mechanics of this position a little easier). The partner being penetrated can also bend their knee, placing their foot behind them on the wall for more support and traction during thrusting.

Especially athletic? You can lift both feet and place them on the wall. Ghose also suggests finding something hold onto, such as a doorknob, railing, furniture, or even a doorway. “The closer the two are in height, the easier standing positions will be,” she adds.

Sideways 69, a.k.a. Spooning 69

Temi Oyelola

“Sideways 69 allows you to give and receive oral play while you’re positioned on your sides,” says McLaughlin. “You can enjoy the closeness of spooning and the fun of mouth-to-genital play at the same time.”

How to do it: Lie down on a soft surface, facing each other in opposite directions and aligning your bodies so each partner’s mouth can reach the others’ genitals. Then, you…you know, go to town. Happy spooning.

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Of course, oral sex isn’t a competition. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t a ton of crafty ways to make it more fun (for everyone involved). Just like the rest of your sex routine, oral benefits from regularly mixing it up. So whether you feel like your giving/getting routine is in a rut or you’re just always trying to improve all the horny aspects of your life, here are 27 (yes, 27!) tips to make sure both of you are at the absolute top of your oral game.

1. Narrate the whole thing.

Yes, your mouth may be occupied, but when you have—ahem—a spare moment, tell your partner exactly what you’re doing and how. There’s more than one way to use your mouth for sex, after all.

2. Get creative with positions.

Penetrative sex shouldn’t get all the fun body contortions. Mix up your oral game by physically moving around and trying new positions, just like you do in the rest of your sex life. The more body parts that are in the air, the better.

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3. Do it spontaneously.

Whether you’re bored as fuck watching some documentary or just randomly got horny at the breakfast table, turn a mundane situation into an extremely thrilling one with a quick oral sesh (always, of course, with the full enthusiastic consent from your partner). A rut can also look like doing very exciting sex things always at the same time/in the same place. Mix it all up by bringing your sex life into new and unexpected places.

4. Bring in some toy assistance.

If your mouth and hands are tired (they do a lot of work all day, we get it!), or even if they’re not, you both can and should bring in some nonhuman assistance. With your partner’s permission, add a butt plug or anal beads to up the ante.

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5. Put oral sex porn on in the background.

Not all porn is created equal, and there are tons of ethical, very chill options out there for those who are so inclined to enjoy. Find a flick you both like, maybe watch for some new moves or tips, and then get to it while the people onscreen are getting to it behind you.

6. Use your breath.

Mare Simone, a certified tantra educator, says that using your hot breath to stimulate nerve endings is an amazing way to ramp up foreplay before diving in. This works just as well with fellatio as it does with cunnilingus. Next time you’re going down on your partner, just take a step back to breathe on their sensitive parts before making contact. The suspense will turn them on in ways you didn’t know were possible.

7. Try some light prostate play.

Without trying internal prostate play via fingering or toys, did you know you can also stimulate a guy’s prostate externally? Cara Kovacs, an NYC-based sex coach, suggests stimulating your guy’s perineum (located between his anus and balls) by gently massaging him while going down on him.

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8. Kiss her outside her panties.

When it comes to cunnilingus, Kovacs recommends kissing your partner outside her panties for a while until she’s begging for you. “Women need more time to warm up than men, and gentle touching is a great preface,” she explains.

9. Don’t be afraid to be messy and show enthusiasm.

Regardless of if you’re performing fellatio or cunnilingus, it’s supes important to show enthusiasm. Think about it. The best technical skill in the world doesn’t matter if the giver seems bored, uninterested, or, even worse, turned off while going down on you. Kovacs recommends vocal enthusiasm, eye contact, and smiling to show your partner how much you enjoy pleasing them. It’s also important to be okay with messiness. “Show your partner that you like having their deliciousness all over your face. That nothing about them doesn’t turn you on and that you delight in their delight,” says Kovacs.

10. Spread her labia.

Along the same lines of not being bashful, Jill McDevitt, PhD, CalExotics’ resident sexologist, says it’s really important to spread the labia during cunnilingus. This way, your partner has the space to approach the clitoris from all angles and sides. “Typically, beginners are really bashful about this, but spread the labia wide, get in the folds, and sensation will improve.” This is also good to keep in mind when you’re receiving cunnilingus. Don’t be afraid to reach down and ~show yourself~ to your partner.

11. Masturbating can help you figure out what you like.

Yes, a tongue is way different than a finger or a toy, but knowing what works for you when you’re solo is at least a good place to start when explaining what you want your partner to do when they’re thigh-deep and ready to go. Do you like constant pressure or increasing pressure? How about speed and pace?

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12. Get your whole body into it.

As recommended via a podcast from the pros at Pleasure Mechanics, try stimulating (or asking your partner to stimulate) your whole body first, starting from your legs and working inward toward your clitoris.

13. Switch things up at the beginning.

As many guys get close to orgasm, they typically just want you to keep doing that one thing you’re doing without stopping till they get there. A little boring, but whatever. However, to build up anticipation at the beginning, you can try shaking up your routine. Think alternating longer ice-cream-style licks with more traditional full-mouth-over-the-peen sucking.

14. If it’s hard for you to focus on enjoying yourself, turn the lights off.

A shocking number of women have trouble letting go mentally and enjoying oral sex when their partner goes down on them. Sound like you? Try keeping the lights off so you’re less likely to be distracted by your surroundings and more likely to float off into ready-to-orgasm land.

15. You don’t need a partner to enjoy oral-like sensations.

While very few things are going to exactly recreate the feeling of a tongue, some newer vibrators come pretty close. Options like the Womanizer, which utilizes suction, or the Ora 2, which has moving beads to mimic the motion of a tongue, are excellent substitutes. *blissfully counts down the days until technology can replace men altogether*

The Ora 2 oral sex toy. Lelo

Shop Now Ora 2, $189, Lelo

16. Nope, you don’t need to deep-throat.

If your partner is super into the idea of full-penis sensation, you can deliver that easily without deep-throating. Try wrapping your hand around the bottom of his shaft and taking the rest of him in your mouth. Or place the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth. Then let his peen hit the underside of your tongue. No gagging necessary.

Ruben Chamorro

17. And since the subject came up, you don’t need to swallow either.

When, where, and how your partner ejaculates during a blow job should be something both of you discuss and agree upon. You don’t need to swallow literally ever, nor does your partner need to finish in your mouth at all! You might find it incredibly sexy to watch him finish elsewhere, on your body or his body—there are tons of options.

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18. Have him try sucking.

Ask him to switch up his moves and try sucking on your clitoris instead—it provides a more intense pressure. No *pressure* if this isn’t for you though! Some prefer a gentle flicking motion instead.

19. He doesn’t need to ejaculate for a blow job to be enjoyable.

Many guys don’t actually want going down to be the main event. According to a Cosmo poll, 54 percent of men like oral action as foreplay alone. So if it feels like a particular BJ has run its course, switch it up and try something else!

Ruben Chamorro

20. Lube can taste good.

If you’re going to be down there, you may as well experiment with different flavors. Lube can add extra sensation to a blow job and be enjoyable to you too. Lots of companies make flavored formulas that taste just slightly fruity or minty, not like candy-coated toxic waste. You can buy a sample pack at most sex toy shops.

Shop Now Sample Pack of Lube, Babeland, $15

21. Talk! Talk talk talk talk talk.

Communication is so basic but so necessary. Neither one of you can read each other’s mind during sex, so speak up if there’s something you want that he’s not delivering. There are tons of ways to verbalize it if you feel a little tongue-tied, like “It’s so hot when you…” or “I’d love it if you’d try….”

22. Your hands can step up if your jaw feels tired.

You should never be doing anything in bed that feels uncomfortable, but if you’re coming up against a bit of muscle fatigue, try any of these hand job techniques. At the same time, flick your tongue over the tip.

Getty/Katie Buckleitner

23. Just because he’s going down on you doesn’t mean he should ignore your other sensitive areas.

Being stimulated in multiple areas will help a woman reach climax more quickly. So while his tongue is at work, have him play with your nipples. In the beginning, he should softly stroke your nips, but as you get closer, he can squeeze if you’re into that.

24. Cooling down can be very hot.

Your temperature rises slightly when you’re aroused, so anything cool will be a pleasurable jolt to your senses. Point a fan in your direction so that while he’s between your legs, you’re feeling both the warmth from his mouth and a cool breeze. The combo is unexpected, and anything surprising can send you over the edge.

25. Go ahead, sit on his face.

If you’re having trouble orgasming in a standard partner-in-between-your-legs position, switch it up and mount his face, being careful not to apply too much pressure. It allows him to access a totally new angle that might be just what you need to get there.

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26. There’s a digital version of oral.

Here’s a unique way to give his frenulum—the tiny bump on the underside of his penis where the shaft meets the tip—some special attention: Place the tip of your finger on it, then take his shaft (along with your finger) into your mouth. As you move your mouth up and down, rub your finger over the F-spot.

27. Get cozy.

You 100 percent do not need to be on your knees to give your partner oral sex. There are so many ways to go down that make it extra comfortable for you, like lying on your back while he kneels over you or arranging pillows to make things softer.

Getty/Cosmopolitan Bethany Heitman Bethany Heitman has spent 15 years producing content for women; she is the former editor-in-chief of PeopleStyle and has held senior leadership positions at Cosmopolitan and Seventeen. Carina Hsieh Sex & Relationships Editor Carina Hsieh lives in NYC with her French Bulldog Bao Bao — follow her on Instagram and Twitter • Candace Bushnell once called her the Samantha Jones of Tinder • She enjoys hanging out in the candle aisle of TJ Maxx and getting lost in Amazon spirals. Hannah Smothers Hannah writes about health, sex, and relationships for Cosmopolitan, and you can follow her on Twitter and Instagram.

Women now enjoy receiving oral sex more than any other type of sexual activity, research suggests.

Going down, so it seems, is on the rise and rise.

Women now enjoy receiving oral sex more than any other type of sexual activity, research suggests. This is because cunnilingus has become a mainstream sexual activity, reflecting a change in the tide of sexual behaviour.

A recent survey shows that the act is fast becoming as common as fellatio, as oral sex is now extremely popular among teenagers and young adults (Bay-Cheng & Fava, 2010 in

The sexual activity is becoming increasingly common for young women and is a fundamental part of the 21st Century sexual revolution, University of Alberta researcher Brea Malacad ( said about a recent study she conducted into oral sex trends.

All the women in her study of 18-25 year olds who’d had sex also had oral sex, she found. Most women who had oral sex did so because they enjoyed it. And almost a third said they enjoyed giving fellatio because it made them feel powerful and empowered.

Keeping it safe

Surveys also show that many young people are not aware that they can pick up a wide range of sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV, the herpes simplex virus, human papillomavirus (HPV), hepatitis B, gonorrhea, syphilis and chlamydia through unprotected oral sex ( Barriers such as dental dams, femidoms and condoms are absolutely required for safer sex.

What type of women enjoy oral sex?

Not surprisingly, it’s more popular among women with good sexual self-esteem. Researchers have found that women who view their genitals positively have more sex and enjoy it more than others. In contrast, those who view their genitals negatively get less pleasure out of cunnilingus (Reinholtz & Muehlenhard, 1995,

Women who have greater sexual openness, self-awareness, and assertiveness tend to experience cunnilingus earlier and have more cunnilingus partners (Bay-Cheng & Fava, 2010,

Why do women love receiving oral?

Plainly put, it gets the job done. Around 70 percent of women can only orgasm if their clitoris is stimulated directly with lips, tongue, fingers or items such as vibrators, while a minority (about 30 percent) of women can climax through vaginal intercourse. It’s a controversial point but most sexologists believe the clit is the source of all female orgasms. However, women can climax through vaginal intercourse if their clitoris is also stimulated due to the position chosen (The Grind is one of the best known positions for this).

Oral sex is more of a sure bet, though. And the tongue is a favourite because it is soft and warm, and because saliva is a natural lubricant that prevents ‘burn’ from dry stimulation. It goes without saying that the more aroused a woman is from foreplay, the easier it is for her to orgasm in oral play as the genital area becomes increasingly engorged with blood the more she’s turned on.

Oral provides greater orgasmic opportunity

To reach an orgasm, women need ongoing, steady stimulation which means that the giver needs to be patient and not rush. In vaginal intercourse, guys typically orgasm more quickly from the stimulation this provides the penis – and women usually need to be stimulated for a longer period than their partners are able to last.

In cunnilingus, it’s more likely that the giver will provide the right kind of stimulation as there are no distractions to curtail the event – such as his own impending orgasm. The giver is also able to stimulate different spots simultaneously using hands and mouth; multiple stimulation is more likely to take a woman past the point of no return. And if his tongue tires, his fingers or a vibrator can easily keep up the pleasure strokes.

Yet even if a woman doesn’t climax from oral play, if she’s close she may find that vaginal intercourse provides the final push over the edge – especially in a sex position that massages the G-spot or provides dual vaginal/clitoral stimulation.

As awareness of women’s sexual response grows, especially that stimulating the clitoris is the singularly most important route to female orgasms, pleasuring a woman orally is increasingly likely to take centre stage.

For naughty sex toys, our favourite sex positions and hot sex techniques, see OhZone. – IOL

8 Steps to Giving a Woman Amazing Oral Sex

Did you know that just 30 percent of women are able to orgasm through vaginal sex? What that means is that in order to really please a lady, loving partners need a few more tricks up their sleeves. Oral sex is a favorite for many women, but doing it right isn’t as simple as diving down. Read on to discover how to blow her mind with incredible oral sex. (Looking for tips on how to please a man? Read 8 Steps to Giving a Great Blow Job.)

Take Your Time

A tongue might be soft and wet, but it still doesn’t feel good against a dry vagina. Taking your time to kiss and caress other parts of the body is essential for getting her warmed up. The same goes for flavored lubricants: They’re fun and helpful, but they’re not substitute for warming her up the good, old fashioned way – with foreplay.

Once she’s really hot … hold back. Don’t make the mistake of going down too fast. And take the oral play itself slowly too. All too often oral sex serves as an element of foreplay, a prelude to sex rather than the main attraction. It’s true that oral sex is an effective way to turn a woman on, but she’ll be disappointed if you stop abruptly. Take the time for an extended session and she’ll be begging for more.

Keep the Compliments Coming

While most women love oral sex, many are a bit self-conscious about the act. Women often worry about things down there. Does it look OK? Smell good? What about the taste? In reality, many men (and women) love going down on their partners. If you want her to really relax and enjoy herself, tell her how much you love spending time between her legs.

Find the Right Position

Finding the right position is crucial – aches and pains are far from sexy. You can use cushions, furniture or dedicated sex props to help get both of your nice and comfy – whatever it takes to stay with it for the long haul. (Check out some of the great sex furniture out there in Sex Furniture: Love Your Home.)

The Tongue Matters

There are two ways a lover can use his or her tongue: There’s the soft, flat tongue that probes gently, or the more insistent, rigid tip with its stronger touch. Many women prefer one of the two, while others like it when their partner mixes things up. Communication is the best way to figure this out.

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Overall, the best oral sex is varied. Kiss, suck, swirl, lick and probe. Just don’t make the mistake of “fence painting.” If your tongue goes up and down like a paintbrush, she’ll be looking at her watch before long. (Want more tips? And pictures?? Check out “Oral Sex That’ll Blow Her Mind: An Illustrated Guide to Giving Her Amazing Orgasms”.)

Celebrate the Clitoris

Think of the clitoris as a miniature penis. It has four times as many nerve endings as the head of a penis, and they’re crammed into a much smaller space. So, as you can imagine, when it’s touched in the right way it feels incredible. Just as a good blow job should focus on the penis, amazing cunnilingus should center on the clitoris. Just be sure to start gently – we did mention that it’s highly sensitive, right? (Learn more about this amazing piece of the female anatomy in Holy Clit, Batman! 9 Amazing Facts About the Clitoris.)

But Not Just the Clitoris

While the clitoris should be the focal point of oral sex, don’t neglect the other sensitive spots below a woman’s waist. Nuzzling her labia and softly kissing her inner thighs will drive her wild. Tease her, kissing all but the clitoris, and only go there when she’s begging for it. All that anticipation can be delicious! (Read more about the importance of the tease in The No.1 Secret to Female Orgasm.)

Spice Things Up

In its most basic form, all that oral sex requires is two willing partners. That, in itself, can be pretty exciting. However, introducing other elements can greatly enhance the experience. Women who enjoy penetration might love the addition of their partner’s fingers or a vibrator (like this one). You could also try applying a warming lubricant or holding an ice cube in your mouth to play with different sensations.

Shut Up and Listen

You can read all the sex books and tips in the world, but the reality is that all women are different. That means that what leaves one hot and bothered might leave another just, well, bothered. The best way to learn to drive your partner wild is to listen not only to what she says, but what her body says as well. Pay attention to the way her body moves, the way she breathes and how she responds to your touch. And if something appears to be working, please don’t stop!

Oral sex, or cunnilingus, has been called an art. What that means is that for most people, learning to do it well will take time and practice. That doesn’t sound so bad, now does it?

Oral sex on women

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