The 5 Best Lesbian Sex Positions For Female Orgasm

We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist based in San Francisco, to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off-limits, and all askers remain anonymous. Now, on to today’s topic: the best lesbian sex positions for orgasm.

Q: I’m in my first lesbian relationship. I saw your article about the best positions for female orgasm, and I was hoping you could write a similar version for lesbians. My issue is I tend to get distracted when I’m trying to pleasure my partner at the same time she’s pleasuring me, so I’d love positions where one of us can be the focus.

A: Thanks for the awesome question! Most of the positions from the original article can work for women who have sex with women. Some of them necessitate strap-on usage (which not all women enjoy) but Sideways Straddle can be a lot of fun without a dildo. Let’s jump right into five lesbian-specific sex positions, with an emphasis on letting one partner do the receiving!

1. Reclining

How to do it: Lie down on your back, propped up with some pillows. Put your feet flat on the bed. Your partner can crawl between your legs and focus all her attention on you.

This position works well for almost any activity you can think of. Your partner can sit between your legs and finger you, or she can lay down on her stomach and go down on you. She can also use a vibrator on your clitoris or inside of you. Or she can don a strap-on and go for good ol’ missionary.

Why it works: This is the easiest position for relaxing and receiving. All you have to do is get comfortable, lay back, and enjoy the attention!

Variations to try: This is such a simple position, but there are lots of ways you can adjust to find what works for you. You can try putting pillows under your hips or back to change the angle of your body. Try pulling your legs further apart or closer together. Or try resting one leg on your partner’s shoulder. She can easily take a break from focusing on you to come up for kisses or to pay attention to your breasts.

2. Spooning

How to do it: Have both of you lay on your sides, facing the same direction. Your lady can wrap her arm around your waist and finger your clitoris. Or she can scoot her arm under your top leg and touch you from behind. This is also a great position for some anal play with fingers or a toy. And of course, it’s a fun one if you’re using a strap-on.

Why it works: Since you’re the little spoon, there’s not much for you to do besides lap up the attention. Some women need to have their legs closed tightly together in order to reach orgasm, and this position allows you to get your muscles nice and tense.

Variations to try: This position is all about finding the most enjoyable angle for you and the easiest reach for her. If you’re of differing heights, you may need to scoot around a bit to help her reach. You may want to try bending forward at the hip to give her better access from the back. Or you can try turning partially onto your back or stomach. You can also raise one leg in the air, and have either her or you hold on to it, or wrap it around her legs.

3. Sitting

How to do it: Sit on the edge of a sofa or chair, and have your partner kneel between your legs. She can use her fingers or mouth on you, or both simultaneously! She can use her free hand to stroke your breasts and neck and caress your cheek.

Why it works: This is a really comfortable position for the giving partner, so it’s a great one to try out if you tend to take a while to orgasm. You won’t have to worry about your partner getting tired or uncomfortable, so you can focus all of your attention on feeling good!

Variations to try: If you’re on a bed, you can lie back all the way, or prop yourself up on some pillows. You can also rest one or both legs on her shoulders.

4. Kneeling Reach-Around

How to do it: Both of you get on your knees. Your partner kneels behind you, with her body pressed against yours. She reaches around your waist and fingers you clitoris or uses a vibrator on it. She can use her other hand to hold you tightly, grab your ass, breasts, or neck, or pull your hair.

Why it works: This position most closely imitates the angle you probably use when you masturbate, so it’s bound to feel great! It can be very passionate and intense.

Variations to try: This can be a hot position to use outside of the bedroom. Try doing it up against a wall, with both of your hands bracing it for leverage, or up against a sofa, with your arms resting on the cushions. You could also try a more bent-over variation on a (carpeted!) staircase. If you’re into kink, she can also tie your hands behind your back. If you’re of similar heights, you can even do this standing.

5. ‘Weak In The Knees’

How to do it: Have your partner lie flat on her back. Stand up on the bed, and carefully place one foot on either side of her head. Gently lower yourself down onto your knees, so that your clitoris hovers right over her mouth. This position is best for oral sex, but she can also use her fingers or a sex toy in your vagina or ass. She’ll have one or both hands free to hold your hips or caress your butt.

Why it works: This is an extremely sexy position! You can control the pressure by pulling your body away or pressing down. It’s also really easy on the giving partner, since they’re just flat on their back, so it’s another great position to use if you ever feel anxious about taking too long. Plus, orgasms in this position can feel super intense. It will bring a whole new meaning to “weak in the knees”!

Variations to try: You can try crouching on your feet instead of your knees, but make sure you have something to hold onto. You can also try turning around so that you’re facing her feet instead of her head. But honestly, the standard version this position is so hot that you don’t need any variations!

Want more of Bustle’s Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way, which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page.

Images: Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle

You’ve got your harness. You’ve got a dildo to use with it. You’ve got an enthusiastic partner or two. So how do you actually have strap-on sex?

Hang Out in the Harness

Like any fashion risk, the best place to first try out a new harness is hanging out in your own space alone. If your harness has straps, put it on and take it off a few times until you know how everything works and have all the buckles adjusted to your body. (Do this with the dildo attached, too — you might find you like the base of the dildo to sit lower or higher against your body, and the only way for sure is to try it in a few different positions.) If your harness is underwear-style, figure out the best way to attach the dildo — can you do it while wearing the harness, or only when you take it off? (Make sure the curve is pointing up.)

Then, just hang out in it. If you plan to pack — to wear the harness with a dildo under your clothes — you’ll eventually want to figure out what clothes work best for that, but don’t do that yet. Wear it around the house. Do laundry in it. Let it flop around, wild and silicone and free, until it feels like part of your body.

If you’ve never worn a strap-on before, you might feel weird about your gender or sexuality or body or the impulse decisions that led you to this moment in your life. You might not feel weird at all. Either is totally okay!

Start by Having Sex With Yourself

If you haven’t masturbated with just the dildo, trying it inside yourself without a harness before you try it inside of someone else with one is a good way to get a sense of how big it is and what it feels like, and to get over any mental hangups you might have about penetration with it before trying it with a partner. But you should also try masturbating with the strap-on strapped on. It’s a good way to get a sense of how it will feel against you, how you’ll feel wearing it during sex, and what kinds of sensations might feel better to you. Obviously you’re not going to feel every touch against the strap-on like it’s against your own skin, but you can experiment with angles — lower or higher or more direct or more indirect? — and vibration — is a vibrator held against the shaft or base too intense or not intense enough? — in a way that’s harder with a partner.

Warm Up Together

When it’s time to have strap-on sex with a partner, make sure to warm up. After your usual foreplay, put on a glove, grab some lube, and fuck with your hands for a few fingers. When you’re using enough fingers to about equal the diameter of the dildo, you’re ready to actually use the strap-on; apply lube to the tip of the dildo and down the shaft, use your hands (or hers) to position it, and slowly slide in. If you’re used to feeling everything that’s happening during sex via your own body, you might feel a little lost right now, but paying attention to your partner’s body and responses will help. Even if you used fingers first, it might take a moment or two to actually get the dildo all the way in, and that’s totally okay! Just keep using lube and going slow. Eventually you’ll be able to thrust a little deeper and with more of a rhythm.

Try Different Positions

One of the best parts of strap-on sex is also the most exhausting: you’re having sex with your full bodies, so your full bodies are going to get tired. Fucking in the exact same position uses all the same muscles for thrusting and for bracing yourselves during it, so switching it up — in addition to being a great time — can make sex feel better for everyone for longer. Try a mix of positions, alternating between whether the wearer or receiver is doing more of the movement. For example, if the receiver is bent over something with the wearer fucking her from behind, switch to the receiver riding the wearer, or to a strap-on blow job for a break. Also remember that even though one person is attached to the strap-on and one person isn’t, you’re both fucking with it, so make adjustments in different positions accordingly. For example, if the receiver is on her back with her legs spread, putting a pillow or sex wedge under her hips can support her lower back and make it easier to thrust.

Pro tip: If you’re fucking in any position from behind, you can turn the dildo 180 degrees so the curve goes down, which will hit a g-spot in vaginal sex and hit a p-spot in anal sex if your partner has a prostate.

Use Your Hands

Just because your hands aren’t your primary sex tool during strap-on sex doesn’t mean you should forget about them. One of the best parts about strap-on sex is that the strap-on is doing the work of penetration, leaving your hands free to go pretty much anywhere. Use them to get into different positions. Use them for consensual mid-sex BDSM. Use them all over your activity partner’s body, obviously. Use them on your partner’s genitals, use them on your own. Try holding the base of your strap-on for more support, especially in underwear-style harnesses or with bigger dildos; this can also let you more precisely control the depth of penetration and the angle. Try holding a vibrator against your activity partner or the base of your dildo or both (definitely both).

Don’t Worry If Something Goes Wrong

Things that might happen when you wear a strap-on during lesbian sex:

  • The harness might unbuckle
  • The dildo might unbuckle
  • The dildo might fall out mid-sex. Repeatedly.
  • You might not be able to fit a vibrator (or fingers!) between your bodies
  • You might run out of lube
  • You might get so much lube everywhere that the entire bed is one big wet spot
  • You might come from the physical sensation of the base against you plus the psychological elements of fucking someone. Or just from the physical base against you. Or just from the psychological elements of fucking someone.
  • You might not come at all
  • You might get sore from the physical sensation of the base against you
  • Your partner might come
  • Your partner might not come
  • You might get tired from thrusting
  • You might get dehydrated
  • You might get muscle cramps
  • You might have to stop for a break partway through
  • You might fuck with the strap-on for five minutes
  • You might fuck with the strap-on for five hours
  • You might have the best sex of your life
  • You might have some of the most awkward sex of your life
  • You might feel indifferent

All of these things are totally normal and okay! No one is perfect at strap-on sex the first time or every time; like trying anything new in bed, it takes time to get comfortable, get out of your head, and find a rhythm. Once you do get more comfortable, you’ll realize that a strap-on is just another tool in the box (sorry not sorry) — it’s a great addition to lesbian sex, and it can be as big or as small a part of your sex life as you want it to be.

Photo by iStock

The first date can be a nerve-wracking experience. What to wear, what to say, what to do… these are all the things that make first dates both exciting and terrifying. But when you go out on that first date where everything seems to go just right—your date is laughing at all of your jokes and you’re bringing your best self forward—things can heat up really quickly.

And this is where you find yourself at a crossroads: Do you or do you not bring up the possibility of first date sex?

Sex on the first date (or just casual sex, in general) isn’t as taboo as it once was. People are getting more vocal about their sexual experiences, and this includes people who want to have sex without the commitment of a relationship. Which can be done ethically by being firm and transparent about your boundaries, not treating the other person as disposable just because they will be in your life short-term, and generally being a good human being that treats other humans with respect, agency, and nuance.

But if you’re vibing with your date, and you’re looking to take it to the next level, it can be helpful to know what sex positions to try that keep awkwardness at a minimum. (Let’s be real: the possibility of sex being awkward at some point, no matter how well you prepare or how well you know the person, can’t be completely eliminated. Still, you want to impress your partner.) Assuming that you’re already having a conversation with your date about it and being clear about what things can look like afterward, one more challenge lies ahead of you: How exactly do you do it?

Rest assured. Here are 10 sex positions that you can whip out of your arsenal the next time that first date sex (or the next opportunity to have sex) arises. The best part? Awkwardness can be kept to a minimum, and if you have more sexual experiences with this person, you can only go up from here.

You on Top

You know yourself better than anyone else. And when having first date sex, it can be hard to try new things with your partner for the night because they just haven’t had the experience to know what feels good and what gets you off. So why not be bold and take the lead yourself? Being on top can be empowering since all the attention is on you, and if you lean more domme (or want to embrace that side of you more), this is the perfect opportunity to do so.

Doggy Style

A classic for a reason. Doggy-style is perfect if you want to show off from behind, fully on display, or if you’re into some strap-on play with your partner for the night. Similar to being on top, there’s something sexy about being worshipped from behind.

Standing Up

Let’s say that you’re into the idea of first date sex, but don’t want to bother with going all the way home to get down. Vertical sex is a good option to consider if your first date sex is turning more into a quickie where the possibility of getting caught only adds to the excitement.

Having sex standing up can also be accommodated easily if you have discomfort or difficulty just standing on both legs the whole time. Use the props in your environment (a bathroom or stall, step stool, whatever) to help make shifting positions easier. And don’t be afraid to get creative here! Being up against the wall, you have the option to face your partner or face away to add a level of intimacy and vulnerability. It’s all up to you.

Reverse cowgirl

Another good option for showing off your assets is reverse cowgirl. Give your partner a glorious view of your backside. (And for extra points, you can show off your back, the nape of your neck, and whatever another back part of your body that doesn’t get enough love but should.)

The Spoon

Are you usually shyer the first time you have sex with a new partner? Spooning can be a good way to ease into it, and yet still control how you get off. Spooning gets a bad rep because it’s seen as tame, but you can easily make it anything but.

You do it by lying on your side, either behind or in front of your partner. This gives you a great position to do some exploration as foreplay and coreplay, and to discover your partner’s erogenous zones. You can touch all over their body while having a mellow, relaxed sexual atmosphere that can lay the groundwork for other positions later on (or even later that night) if you want.

Reclining

Let’s say that you want to get down and give your partner the best view of how to get you off, or you want to really see what gets them off? Reclining is a must-have position in your arsenal.

While one partner leans back on pillows (and can lift themselves up with their elbows), they put their feet flat on the bed and spread their legs. Meanwhile, the other can crawl up the body, going in with whatever feels best.

This can be good for foreplay or for more intimate-feeling sex. It’s also compatible with whatever kind of sex you want to have: whether it’s fingering, receiving oral, or incorporating some toys, you can do it while reclining. And the best part? The focus is on one partner at a time, making it easier to get off, give feedback, and have your best orgasm possible. A win-win, right?

Sitting

This is similar to standing up—an adjustable position that also puts the focus on one partner at a time. While one partner is sitting on a flat surface, the other can either stand or be on their knees, depending on what kind of sex you’re having. This also works well for anything from strap-on sex to some hot oral, and it’s a good low-pressure position if one partner takes a longer time to orgasm.

Ride Their Face

Need we say more?

Leaning In

Similar to riding your partner’s face, you can take it up a notch and raise your hips off the bed or surface to meet them up. The giving partner can support you with their arms, or by putting a pillow underneath your lower body. Then just lie back and relax as fingers, a tongue, or a toy (whatever your partner is using to pleasure you) runs over your body.

The Two-For-One

I’m calling it this because you’re essentially doing two things at once: massaging your partners’ chest and nipples while also stroking or fingering them. This is also the perfect position to get hot and heavy with a good makeout session when things really heat up between you.

What positions are you excited to try the next time you have first date sex?

by: Lindsay Curtis

Lesbians have great sex, and we have the data to prove it. Research published in the journal Archives of Sexual Nature found that while straight people have sex more often, lesbians report having far more orgasms — 86 percent of the time — compared to their heterosexual counterparts, who orgasm only 65 percent of the time.

But how do we have this earth-shattering, orgasm-giving sex? It’s not just about oral sex— though there’s plenty of that, too. To avoid the dreaded “lesbian bed death” thought to come with long-term relationships, lesbians have to get more creative with our sex positions to keep things exciting.

Whether you’ve been together for 2 months or 20 years, here are some of the best lesbian sex positions you can incorporate into your sex life to keep the passion flowing.

7 Best Lesbian Sex Positions to Rock Her World

69:

The sixty-nine position is a classic favorite because it makes both partners’ pleasure a priority at the same time. One partner lays on her back, and the other lays on top of her, facing her partner’s feet so that both of your mouths can reach each other’s genitals. To mix things up, try the side-lying 69. This is generally easier on the body, and frees up your hands for exploring more of your partner’s body.

Scissoring:

“Scissoring” is a form of tribbing that involves two women rubbing their vulvas together with interlocked legs in a “scissor”-like position. In theory, scissoring is hot and sexy, but sometimes it’s downright comical trying to get the position right for both partners. This position is more attainable if both you and your partner are flexible.

*Tip*: Approach scissoring with a sense of humor — twisting your body in various ways to hit the right spot for both of you can be a challenge! Scissoring is hard work, but when you get it right, gliding your own wet clit along your partner’s can be a mind-blowing, pleasurable experience.

Missionary (with penetration):

With one partner wearing a strap-on and the other lying on her back, the missionary position can increase your intimacy and closeness during sex. “There’s something about penetrating my partner while I wear the strap-on that makes me feel closer to her,” says Beth H. “I can look into her eyes, kiss her, and feel her breasts pressed up against mine, and it’s a major turn-on for me.” You can incorporate nipple play or use vibrators for clitoral stimulation while engaging in strap-on sex in the missionary position.

Face sitting:

This one is exactly as it sounds: one partner is lying on her back while the other sits on her face (being careful not to cover her nose!) while holding on to something for balance. You can turn around and face your partner’s feet to offer new angles and change up the sensations on your clit. Bonus: if you’re facing your partner’s feet while face-sitting, you can lean over to play with her clit or finger her.

Spooning:

Big spoon or little spoon? Spooning isn’t just for cuddling! You can have the closeness and warmth of spooning and have sex, too! In the spooning position, the “big spoon” will reach around and fondle, caress and/or penetrate her partner. If you enjoy deep penetration, this position is particularly pleasurable.

Face to face:

Sitting face to face with your partner, wrap your legs around each other’s bodies until you’re both in a comfortable sitting position. There are a number of things you can do in this position, including rubbing each other’s clitoris, nipple play, or engaging in penetrative sex with your fingers or a double-headed dildo at the same time. This position is great for holding eye contact and making out, increasing your intimacy.

Mutual masturbation:

Few things are as hot as watching your partner pleasuring herself. Not only is it a major turn-on, but it gives you an idea of what she likes, her sensitive spots, and what works to get her off. You can engage in mutual masturbation in any position that works for both of you, and there are a number of sex toys available to use in your mutual masturbation sessions.

Looking for a Smart Addition to Your Bedroom? Try the World’s Smartest Vibrator.

Not only does Lioness amp up the pleasure, but precision sensors let you see arousal and orgasms so you can learn exactly what works for you and/or your partner.

to learn more.

These are the best lesbian sex positions

If you’re already well-versed in lesbian sex, you’ve probably been here, done this, bought the t-shirt.

That said, you might be in the throws of dreaded lesbian bed death, or just bored stiff, apathetic and in need of inspiration.

Lesbian sex has bewildered man since the dawn of man. Since the dawn of man, however, lesbians all over the world have been putting themselves in a wide variety of positions, causing each other to orgasm, squirt and gasp.

Whether you like giving, receiving or both, humping, scissoring or strap-ons, here are a few of our favourite – albeit fairly basic – sapphic sex moves.

Missionary humping and grinding

Absolutely back-to-basics with this one – but it’s a gem. One of you lies on your back, the other one gets on top and, well, you bump and grind your pelvises together until at least one of you has a lovely big orgasm.

Legs in the air humping and grinding

Orange is the New Black (Netflix/screengrab)

As above, one of you lies on your back, but with your legs in the air, as your partner faces you and leans in on top of you, pushing your legs back as she does. Rub pelvic bones and clits together, with no legs getting in the way of your orgasm.

Face-sitting

Carol (StudioCanal)

Pretty self explanatory. One of you lies on your back, the other kneels over her shoulders and sits on her partner’s face. To do it comfortably, the giver should lie on her back, and the receiver should lift a leg over the giver’s shoulders and slowly squat down. Don’t put all your weight on her face, preferably.

CLASSIC 69

PxHere

We all know what the 69 position is, but if you missed that memo back in junior school when the resident ‘lil shit’ told everyone, the 69 is one underneath and one on top, but facing each other’s genitals. So, one girl lies down on her back, and the other kneels over her head and moves on in. Takes a bit of shuffling around to get yourselves in the right place, but well worth it.

Lazy 69

(PxHere)

Lie on your sides facing each other’s downstairs and go down on each other. Same as above, but on the side, instead of over/under.

Classic scissoring

(Comedy Central/screengrab)

As we’ve explained before, scissoring is essentially just genital-to-genital contact. Also known as tribbing, scissoring can be done in different positions and requires sexual partners to move their legs back and forth, while rubbing their genitals together, resembling the movement of scissors – obviously.

Explainer: What is scissoring? Because, let’s face it, you always wanted to know

Finger banging

The L Word (Showtime/screengrab)

Another classic, which involves the receiver on her back, or sitting on a chair (or on whatever she likes) while the giver faces the her and uses her fingers to penetrate. Using your hands means you’ll really get to know your partner’s vagina, which is always a good thing.

Giving head

You can give oral in various positions, obviously. One of you can stand, as the other kneels in front of her. The standing girl should drape one leg over her partner’s shoulder while she gets good head.

And, as above, but one girl leans against a wall. Comfy.

Explainer: Here’s all the hottest lesbian porn that requires your attention

You can do it lying down – so one of you lies on your back, the other goes down on her. This is a good position if you want to use your fingers to penetrate her, too.

And, even better than all of the above (in our opinion) – one of you lies on your back, while the other kneels between her legs, which she drapes over her shoulders before the oral begins.

Missionary strap-on

(Sensiglass)

If you enjoy using strap-ons (and not all of us do), this is a classic. Like straight sex, except one girl pops a peen on and penetrates her partner, banging her like all those male-female couples.

Can obviously be done doggy style, too.

Seated strap-on

Tipping the Velvet (BBC/screengrab)

Pretty simple. The one wearing a strap-on sits on the chair. The other sits atop the other girl and rides the strap-on.

Leg riding

Chloe (Sony Pictures Classics)

One person should lie down on her back with one leg arched. The other can straddle the leg and ride it as she rubs her clitoris against it.

Sort-of doggy rubby

One of you gets on all fours, while the other straddles her hips and rubs her clitoris against her partner’s tailbone. (Yeah, we very quickly came up with the name ‘Sort-of Doggy Rubby.’)

If you’ve read this entire article and still don’t know what’s going on, here’s how lesbians have sex – for beginners.

I’m a firm believer in the sexuality spectrum—that is, the idea that sexuality and gender roles aren’t necessarily binary (gay/straight; female/male) but rather, deeply fluid. Who we’re attracted to doesn’t have to fall into a clearly labeled, defined category like “lesbian” or even “bisexual”—it can be messy, gray, and constantly changing, and that’s perfectly fine.

In my many years of editing articles for women’s magazines and websites, I’ve produced plenty of gender- and sex-positive content—from how one incredible trans woman found her own personal style and why kinky sex makes people healthier to super-adventurous sex positions to try. And while we’ve always focused on being as inclusive as possible, it’s more challenging than you’d expect to find sex positions that work for couples of all gender combinations, sexual orientations, and lifestyles.

MORE: How to Discover and Own Your Sexual Identity

That’s why I’m especially excited about this particular sex position guide, which features options geared specifically toward lesbian couples. It’s not just because this particular demographic is underserved in this area (which, from my research and experience, it is), but also because if two women can do these moves, pretty much any other combination of people can pull them off, too. And the more people who get pleasure out of these positions, the better I’ve done my job, as far as I’m concerned.

So go forth, sex-positive, sexually fluid warriors, and enjoy these kinky moves and tips.

1 of 5Sideways 69

The sideways 69 is relaxing, decadent, and efficient for giving both partners equal amounts of pleasure. Pro tip: Use a pillow to prop up your head for extra comfort.

*Gay, lesbian, and hetero-friendly

Photo: STYLECASTER

North Face

Feel like taking control and getting your partner’s full attention? Then straddle his or her face and let them focus completely on pleasuring you (without putting your full weight on them, please!).

Then switch places and return the favor.

*Gay, lesbian, and hetero-friendly

Photo: STYLECASTERKneeling Scissors

You don’t have to be super-flexible to get the feel-good benefits of this position. Even if your leg doesn’t reach a 90-degree angle, both partners will feel the spine-tinglingly good effects of this high-friction position. Lady-on-lady couples: Once you’re warmed up, the strap-on is your friend here.

*Gay, lesbian, and hetero-friendly

Photo: STYLECASTERCradled Clam

We’ll be the first to admit that this position’s name is decidedly unsexy—but who cares? Once you’re in position, giving or receiving all kinds of pleasure, the name won’t mean a thing.

*Gay, lesbian, and hetero-friendly

Photo: STYLECASTERWrapped Spoon

This cozy pose is one of the best for feeling intimate with your lover while also being efficient about getting the “little spoon” off. Big spoons can reach around and give the front partner plenty of digital attention, or use a strap-on until it’s time to turn around and face each other.

*Gay, lesbian, and hetero-friendly

Photo: STYLECASTER

There are still a lot of people who would say “sex” is not really “sex” if not being done by a man and a woman. For them, the idea of woman to woman and man to man sex is not satisfying and just superficial because they’re just two vaginas or two penises banging together. No penetration, just friction.

What many do not know is that same gender sex is actually as satisfying and as orgasmic as penetrative intercourse done by men and women.

Let’s talk about lesbian intercourse and what are the best positions they do that would validate how satisfied they are when it comes to bed. Lesbian sex is not all about pussy eating or fingering. There are sex toys that help them to be satisfied on bed. But sometimes, there are just too talented and gifted lesbians who could make their partners come and reach full orgasm.

Here are the best lesbian sex positions that are really satisfying:

  1. Eat and Finger that Pussy

Like men who want to get blowjobs, women like their pussy to be eaten too. This is an all-time favorite of all lesbians. The lips and tongue stimulation when added with finger penetration can produce big O and overflowing orgasm. This can be done thru lying back on a bed, sitting on chair, standing or any other positions. Lying back is more pleasurable to many as the receiver is relaxed and the giver has the full view of the pussy and can really hit the G-spot. The clitoris, once played, can really increase the speedometer of the libido.

  1. Scissoring

There are many ways on how to do scissoring, but the most common of them is lying on bed, or missionary. This is being done by putting one leg between a partner’s leg, finding the right position, and slowly rubbing the vulva to the other partner’s vulva. This is one of the best lesbian sex positions because it creates clitoris friction and stimulation. We all know that clitoris is a love button and a highly sensitive part of vagina since it has so many nerve ending. Once stimulated, it will rise up the libido, thus explosive orgasm.

  1. Doggy Style

Lesbians can also do doggy style with or without dildo. Without dildo, the hardworking finger can be used to penetrate the vagina. The giver can stimulate her vagina on the receiver’s butt, have a little flirtation with the anus, and give a finger penetration after. The G-spot can be spotted in this position as well and will surely make the receiver scream for more.

  1. Missionary with Strap-On

Two women without penis can enjoy the pleasure and intimacy of missionary position, thanks to strap-on. This can be very tricky and cautious, but with a use of lubricants and condoms, strap-on can turn missionary position into a blast.

  1. Face Sitting

This lesbian sex position is really satisfying to both giver and the receiver. The giver is lying back on bed, while the receiver is kneeling with her pussy facing the mouth of the receiver. The giver can enjoy the entire vagina on her face with two of her hands free to explore and play the other parts of the receiver. The receiver is also enjoying the sensation of being eaten wholly while grinding and controlling where she wanted to be eaten.

5 Awesome Sex Positions for Girl-on-Girl Love

The thing that irritates me about a lot of girl-on-girl porn is that it is often made for men. Lesbian porn clips that feature sex positions that look great on camera may not actually be that hot in practice.

Fortunately, there are also lots of great resources that pay homage to true lesbian sexuality and desire. Below are five awesome lesbian sex positions that are designed for both partners’ pleasure – not the camera.

The 69 Sex Position

The 69 position has to be my personal favorite sexual position for girl-on-girl love. I’m bisexual, but I find this one to be much more pleasurable with women than with men. I think the female anatomy may just be better suited for this kind of action! Feel free to add in a vibrator here if tongues get tired.

Scissoring

Scissoring is widely debated throughout the lesbian community and the feminist community. Actually, I would go as far to say that in many circles, it’s considered a joke – which is sad, because I know many women who really derive pleasure from it!

Non-LGBTQ folk can make assumptions about girl-on-girl sex and those assumptions include female genital-on-genital action. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, a 2003 survey of over 1,200 lesbian and bisexual women who were asked about their sexual practices found that only 50% practiced genital-on-genital touching regularly.

Although some people find scissoring uncomfortable, for many others it is so much sexy fun. There are numerous ways to scissor and most of them are really awkward; you may end up in a giggling heap, rather than getting off. But trust me, this position can be sooo sexy! And you will definitely score an intense hip, thigh and butt workout.

Spooning Sex Position

Valentine’s Day is Around the Corner

Screw chocolate and flowers, give the gift of sex toys and pleasure. Save up to 25% on the most popular couples and solo toys today.

Save Now

The Spoon is simple, relaxing and intimate. You both lay on your side, one behind the other, facing the same direction. The partner who lies behind can reach around and stimulate your clit. When the partner in front raises their top leg, this provides even more open access. And of course anal and vaginal penetration from behind work seamlessly in this position with a strap-on, fingers or a sex toy.

Reverse Missionary Position

As the name suggests Reverse Missionary position is missionary – in reverse. In this case, the partner on the bottom would likely don a strap-on, while their partner takes the top position. Either one can straddle the other and change leg positions for different angles of stimulation and penetration.

Rocking Horse Position

I reckon any legs-over-shoulders sexual position is a winner but this is particularly true for the Rocking Horse. In this position, one partner lies on their back putting their legs over their lover’s shoulders whilst the other kneels and thrusts with a strap on. The position allows deep penetration and is known to cause explosive vaginal orgasms.

Now, Go Make Up Your Own Positions!

The narrative for girl-on-girl love in porn, pop culture, film and literature isn’t always shaped by the people who actually engage in this kind of play in real life. In other words, a lesbian sex position can be any sex position that works for you and your partner. So, go ahead and use the positions that work for you and your partner – and feel free to experiment.

Once you’ve got your basic lesbian sex tips (or vulva-on-vulva sex tips) down – from how to finger someone to how to eat someone out and even how to make someone squirt, you may want to try some good ol’ fashioned lesbian sex positions.

FYI, you can try these positions with a parter of any sexuality/gender identity who has a vulva. And even the most seemingly basic can be super pleasurable. No matter what you’re into, here are positions of varying difficulties that are well worth trying.

And, as always, if you’re trying anything new and you’re not totally sure your partner’s into it (whether that’s penetration or rimming), ask them first.

1. The Scissor

Cosmopolitan UK

Yep, this one’s kinda infamous. Some queer people see it as a ‘joke’ and something they’d never do, others swear by it. If you want to try it out, here’s how to perfect vulva-to-vuvla scissoring.

Get into a position on a bed or soft carpet that allows you to be comfy. One partner’s on the bottom while the other straddles them, positioning themselves so your vulvas and clits are within touching distance. Remember: everyone’s bodies are different, so it may take some movin’ around to make it work. Once you’re good, grind away to your heart’s content. Not gonna lie, it’s a pretty intimate position, so make sure you’re comfortable.

Tip: With this one, you don’t necessarily have to use lube. Sometimes (and in moderation) friction can feel pretty good.

2. Go To Town

Cosmopolitan UK

Another simple position but uhhhmagod it’s a good’un. The receiving partner lies down on a flat surface with their legs apart, knees bent and feet flat on the surface. Their partner gets down in there and goes to town!

Tip: This is a great position for edging. Bring your partner just to the point of no orgasmic return and then stop. Leave them to cool down for a few minutes, then bring them right back up again. Repeat a few times. When they do finally orgasm (IF that’s your end goal – which FYI it doesn’t need to be), all the built-up climactic tension will be released and it’ll be intense af.

3. Four Square

Cosmopolitan UK

This one’s super hot because whichever partner isn’t on all fours gets a full-on view to appreciate, in all its glory. The ‘receiving’, kneeling partner spreads their legs slightly, so the other can get in there from behind. From this angle, you can stroke their clit, eat them out and even try rimming – if you’re both down for it.

Tip: While giving them the best ever oral, you’re also in the perfect position to gently spank ye olde butt cheeks. Just make sure your partner doesn’t mind, first.

4. 69

Cosmopolitan UK

I know what you’re thinking: been there, done that. Well, the 69 is a classic for a reason! It’s all about mutual, simultaneous pleasure. The ‘bottom’ partner lies down and opens their legs, while the ‘top’ straddles them, facing the opposite direction. You can then both give and receive glorious oral sex at the same time – it really is that simple. Just be sure to keep your own movements in check and don’t get carried away (it’s meant to be fun for both of you). If you want to take it to the next level, here’s how.

Tip: Try it with you both lying on your side.

5. Standing 69

Cosmopolitan UK

Recently voted the most scariest sex position of all time (don’t let that put you off), the Standing 69 isn’t for the faint-hearted. It does, however, require a fair bit of strength. Like the classic 69 but way harder, one partner (the stronger one) stands up with their feet apart to remain balanced. The other is… well… upside down, legs around the other’s shoulders for support. Yeah, it does sound impossible. But if the stronger partner sits on the edge of a bed or chair, and the lighter gets into position, you can both stand up from there.

Tip: Both of you should wrap your arms around each others’ waist for support. You’ll probs need it, plus it’s nice to cuddle!

6. Queening

Cosmopolitan UK

Aka facesitting. One partner lies down while the other straddles them and faces the opposite way, lining up their vulva with their partner’s mouth. Even if you’re wanting to explore your dominant side while in this position, remember never to actually fully sit on their face. They need to breathe! If you’re receiving (you lucky person!), try gently moving your hips back and forth, so you’re riding your partner’s face like a queen.

Tip: If you’re the bottom, give your partner’s nipples and butt some attention with your free hands.

7. Open All Hours

Cosmopolitan UK

This may seem simple af but honestly, it’s anything but boring. One partner lies on their back at the edge of a piece of furniture (bed, chest of drawers, it’s up to you!) and opens their legs wiiiiide. The giving partner kneels on the floor in between those open legs. The giver then can then get right in there at the perfect angle to finger, tease the clit and give 10/10 oral loving.

Tip: If they’re up for a blended orgasm, use your mouth to give the clit all the attention it deserves, while using a G-spot vibrator to put pressure on/stimulate their G-spot. It’ll be intense, FYI.

8. Sideways Glance

Cosmopolitan UK

Spooning is nice, everyone knows that. But what if you could enjoy some lovely vulva-to-vulva sex from the safety of your comforting spoon? You totally can! The ‘big spoon’ wears a strap-on dildo and penetrates their partner from behind. Their hands are also free to reach around the front, and their nipples and clit some attention.

Tip: Lube is your BFF here! Popping some water-based lube on the toy will make it a) more comfortable and b) more enjoyable for your partner.

Related Story Related Story

Sex is good; better sex is great. One of my favorite ways to make good sex great is in switching things up a little bit. We’ve all peeped a cosmo article about “spicing” things up when we’re “bored” in the bedroom, but there are a number of reasons why switching up your positions (and locations!) can be beneficial to you and your partner(s). The way we shape and shift our bodies to fit to one another can be one of the most fundamental parts of sex and intimacy. Folks have likely been finding creative ways to do so since we started hooking up. So often position guides focus on genitals-on/in-genitals when in reality there’s a million ways to smoosh bodies together. Throw in some sex toys, throw in some sex tools, throw in a good bottle of lube — hell, throw a third or fourth person in the mix! I like to think of it as letting go of what we think should feel good, and adapting to what actually does. First, let’s talk about what our priorities are when we’re choosing literally how to do it.

What do we want?

Mutual Satisfaction

There’s a common idea that switching up your sex positions is indicative of boredom. That doesn’t have to be true; the fact of the matter is sex should be mutually satisfying, and trying out new positions might reveal a way for it to be more so! That’s all; it isn’t a condemnation of how you’ve been doing things previously. No two bodies are exactly the same; the ways we go about fitting them together shouldn’t be either. Pleasure-focused sex unleashes variety in your sex life, and that is a beautiful thing.

Variety & Creativity

Though it’s entirely true that boredom isn’t the only reason to switch things up, it’s also true that sometimes, the same scenarios get old. Finding new ways to fit with your partner keeps things fresh and new, and gives off that feeling of excitement that can all-too-often get lost. A little creative positioning can help you find new things that turn you on. It opens the door to finding new parts of your bodies to explore, new sensations, and new ways of seeing each other. And who doesn’t want that?

We (and our bodies) are forever changing; we get injured, or more flexible, or change shape or size. What works one day might not work for us years later. Switching into positions we might otherwise automatically go-to is a great way to find new erogenous zones or kinks, and hell, that’s just fun.

Intimacy & Control

The ways in which we choose to position (or not position) our bodies during sex allows us a level of control in seeing and being seen by another person. For example, in a casual encounter, one might not want face-to-face intimacy the way they might want with someone they are deeply connected to. For others, that connectivity and intimacy is a key part of sex. In changing the ways our bodies connect or approach one another, we’re exerting our agency over the situation. It’s a way to advocate for as little or as much as we may need, rather than settle for what we think we can get, or what we think we’re supposed to want.

Physical Comfort & Hitting the Spot

The biggest reason for switching things up in the bedroom is also maybe the most important. Sex is supposed to feel good! All of our bodies are different and want different things. Maybe some of our bodies threw their back out at work last week. By switching up our positions we can achieve different types of orgasms, and find the things that our bodies need to feel good. What feels good, or is feasible for one body may not work entirely for another — and really, why contort your body to unfavorable conditions if it’s not doing anything for you?

When it comes to hitting the spot, there’s no direct map to the famed G-spot and the perfect orgasm. Every person’s body is different, it would be naive to think that everyone’s is in the exact same place, with the exact same sensitivity to stimulation. Switching up angles of penetration, intensity, speed, etc. is sometimes the only way to find what really works for you, or your partner.

How do you do it?

So we’re all getting pretty hip with all the why’s in switching up our sex positions. Now, how do we go about deciding what positions to try? Rather than giving you a shortlist of what I think you (and your body I know nothing about) should try, here’s a quick little roundup of some of the good stuff that’s out there so you can decide for yourself. Remember that the possibilities are pretty much endless, so there’s no exhaustive list. And remember as always that your bod is unique and rad, and you can do so many things with it. Take what applies to you, and leave the rest. It helps to have a bit of an imagination.

Partnered Oral & Penetrative Sex

Some basic positions are fairly intuitive, depending on what activity you’re interested in: going down on someone as they sit or lie down, or touching/penetrating someone’s genitals in really any variety of positions where you can comfortably access them. While skydiving perhaps. What about scissoring, that mysterious vixen? Great news, this post by Austen about yes, Virginia, scissoring contains many helpful illustrations.

For sort of a 102 primer, Refinery29’s Steamy Sex Positions For Lesbians is a primo place to start. I like this guide a ton because it acknowledges that sex is more than our genitals, uses inclusive language, and offers up cool tips for how to adapt positions to fit your needs. The positions included cover oral, strap-on sex, fingering and combinations thereof. I also like this guide because it brings props and location switch-ups into the equation!

Changing the location of where your bodies bang is great too; no need to stay in the bedroom when there’s a whole wide world (or at least apartment) out there. Romantic dinners are great; romantic dinners that you pause halfway through cooking to have sex on the kitchen table are also great! Just a thought. Initiating sex outside the bedroom breaks up the routine of having sex as linked only to going to sleep. In the event that you’re not so keen on sex outside the bedroom, know that you don’t even have to leave the bedroom to mix things up. Your bedroom is comprised of its own positioning props: walls! And a bed.

Beds are totally underused positioning props, despite sex happening there most frequently. Standing while leaning over a bed is great to support a body bent at the waist and a wonderful position for penetrative sex, oral sex, and rimming. Utilizing the edge of the bed while another partner is standing or sitting off the bed can be fun as well; as it leaves hands free to push someone’s head against you, get tangled in hair, or slap a cheek. Walls are also great props: place hands on them, faces against them; heck, push a whole body tight against the wall for a fun impact play position.

Disability-inclusive guides like this one from The Mighty are a great reference for folks with physical access needs (and everyone, really). It’s helpful to remember that much like our beds and walls as props, the anything and everything can be a sex tool rule very much includes mobility devices!

Sadly, one thing sincerely lacking in easy to access guides is body positive position guides — especially for queer folks. But that’s not to say there’s no information out there. If you’re looking for a good resource, I recommend Curvy Girl Sex for the positions, inclusivity of all types of sex, and damn cute illustrations. If anyone has some cool body positive references, or personal tips and tricks leave them in the comments below!

Lastly, Kinkly has a pretty rad online sex positions generator! Complete with bondage options and difficulty levels. As a heads up it’s gendered sorta weird, but all position can really be effective for folks of any gender presentation.

Solo Sex

Rethinking your positioning shouldn’t be isolated to sex with partners. There are just as many ways to switch things up while masturbating as there are with a partner. As Carolyn discussed in our masturbation guide, we can have a tendency to stay stuck in a rut with how we first started masturbating. If you usually masturbate on your stomach/lying back/sitting up/in the bath, challenge yourself to try something different, or several somethings different. If you use a toy or prosthetic, you might try it in new and different positions, angles or configurations — sitting on top of a vibrator rather than holding it against you, for instance. You might learn something new about what feels good in your body, useful info for both solo and partnered sex in the future!

Solo sex guides are often heavily focused on genitalia and use pretty binary language. Lelo has this quick little guide for folks that I dig, both for its language usage and its tips. There are tips for anal and vaginal penetrative solo sex, as well as external stimulation.

Position Enhancers

Last but certainly not least, there are position enhancers. This can be anything from sex-specific furniture, to slings and restraints, to DIY set ups — anything to help get your body in just the right spot. I am not going to tell you how many sex position enhancers I have in my bedroom, but it’s more than one. And while many of them can be an investment, they were worth every penny.

For solo sex, there are toy mounts like the hands-free rocking Pulse Toy Mount from Liberator — or opt for a dildo with a suction cup functionality like this one from NS Novelties (or make a flat-ended toy suction cupped with this double suction cup!).

Sometimes the positioning of sex and the kind of sex you’re having are inextricably related, like with some kink activities. Maybe your sex involves someone being tied down and splayed out, or If interested in queer inclusive guides to bondage and restraints, check out how to tie someone up, and five ways to restrain someone by Carolyn. You might take a look at Cee’s series on shibari bondage, and their thoughts on positions for spanking! Beyond the ropes, there are cuffs, collars/leashes, and under the bed restraint systems like this one from Sportsheets.

For furniture options, there are wedges, ramps and pillows that can help in positioning your waist or hips in more comfortable ways; spanking benches to bend over, hang onto or lean into; suction-function shower railings for better grip and stability when you’re getting down in a slippery space; sex swings and riders; sex slings — you name it.

Sex isn’t one thing. It’s a million things. There’s a million ways to have it and there’s a million ways to enjoy it. So get creative, mix things up, and focus on what feels good. Also, scissoring is real. Get over it, haters.

Strap on sex position

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *