Taylor Swift’s Apple Music ad is painful in a couple ways

This morning, Taylor Swift tweeted a short advertisement for Apple Music that she claims is “based on true events.” I don’t think I’ve ever believed anything more.

In the video, Swift is preparing for a run. Her cat eyeliner is perfect, and her hair looks like it has recently been tended to by a professional. That is atypical, I think, of the workout experience, but great for her! She selects an Apple Music-curated playlist called “#GYMFLOW” and starts with the song “Jumpman,” from Drake and Future’s recent mixtape What a Time To Be Alive. She knows all the words and it gets her really pumped up as she’s running on the treadmill. It’s kind of hard to watch.

Based on true events. #TAYLORvsTREADMILL @applemusic @Drake @1Futurehttps://t.co/ryUY3Yz7Prhttps://t.co/1eIHjoVIFU

— Taylor Swift (@taylorswift13) April 1, 2016

T-Swift often catches flack for her overzealous, mom-ish dance moves, but tends to lean into the joke. Here, her exuberant boogying leads her to fly off of her treadmill in spectacular fashion. Who is Taylor Swift’s stunt double? Did she resent having to get the bob haircut too? Who knows. Ouch, though.

#TAYLORvsTREADMILL

Swift’s very public (and some might say very orchestrated) feud with Apple Music ended peacefully last June, when Apple agreed to pay artists during its free trial period at the singer’s public request. She then agreed to stream her most recent album, 1989 on the service, saying it was “the first time it felt right.” Her 1989 World Tour documentary was made available exclusively on Apple Music in December.

This piece of performance art was released on Apple’s 40th birthday, which also happens to be April Fools’ Day. Who knows if it is related to either. Who knows why it happened at all.

Drake’s apparently making bank off of a recent Apple Music ad featuring Taylor Swift faceplanting onto a treadmill.

The video launched less than a week ago on April 1, and since it went live, iTunes sales of Drake’s song “Jumpman,” which features prominently in the spot, have more than quadrupled, Billboard reports. And the playlist Swift pulls up to motivate herself for her cardio workout is showing pretty good numbers on Apple’s streaming service, too.

If you aren’t one of the millions of people who has already seen the Apple Music ad, you can check it out below.

And if you’re tired of Taylor Swift and just want to hear the song without watching her fall on her improbably made-up face, here it is all on its own:

“Jumpman” purchases are up 431 percent since Friday, Billboard reports, and Apple Music’s curated “#gymflow” playlist has seen a 325 percent boost.

We’re happy that Drake’s getting a boost here, but we aren’t really sure what a 431 percent boost on iTunes actually means. Ever since we started streaming our tunes with Apple Music — or Spotify or Pandora, for that matter — we haven’t really seen any need to cough up a buck for a single song. It just doesn’t make sense when you can listen to pretty much every song ever recorded (and an impressive selection of fart sound effects) for 10 dollars a month.

As the wait now begins—in the wake of Taylor Swift’s Album of the Year win at the Grammys for 1989—for the next Swift album, we must meanwhile content ourselves with the video morsels Swift offers up on her social-media accounts—of which, thankfully, there are a pretty good amount! In the past few weeks, we’ve been gifted cat-centered clips, some Easter shenanigans between Swift and brother Austin—even a clip from Swift’s warm-weather vacation with boyfriend Calvin Harris. (We may get some longer-form Swift video content soon, too, if she releases a music video for “New Romantics,” the seventh single of 1989.)

And today, Swift to a commercial for Apple Music (titled “Taylor vs. Treadmill”), in which she is seen launching a running playlist on an iPhone, blasting Drake and Future’s “Jumpman” as she begins her workout. It is not long, though, before—and we spoiled this in the headline—the treadmill scores a point, involving some pretty excellent physical comedy from Swift. Presumably—hopefully—the sequel, in which Drake and Future do the elliptical to “Shake It Off,” is coming shortly.

Taylor Swift, Photographed by Mario Testino

1 / 8Chevron Chevron Photograph by Mario Testino. Taylor Swift relaxes at the Beaufort Bar, in the Savoy hotel, on the eve of her concert in London’s Hyde Park.

Taylor Swift Ate It on a Treadmill for Apple, Bless Her

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Regular, everyday, famous billionaire Taylor Swift is just like you. She hates cardio, can never find what music to listen to while working out, and sometimes Apple hires her be in videos where she must spectacularly and cartoonishly eat it on a treadmill.

In the ad released today, Taylor Swift wears some very cute athleisure (with cutouts!) and pairs it with cat eyeliner, because of course Taylor Swift works out in cat eyeliner. At first, she can’t decide which song to listen to, but she eventually comes to the same conclusion we all do, which is that the only way to make exercising tolerable is to pair it with listening to Drake. Indeed, she finds herself so hyped on the song “Jumpman” that she immediately falls off the treadmill.

Watch the whole thing below (the good stuff starts around the 45-second mark).

Somewhere, Taylor Swift’s stunt double is icing her lip.

Taylor Swift is really good at rapping, but not so great at running on a treadmill.

The 26-year-old singer’s new Apple Music commercial was released on April Fools’ Day and it shows the singer acting a bit foolish. Swift is seen finding the perfect song to run to and decides to go with Drake and Future’s hit, “What a Time to be Alive.”

The “Shake It Off” singer gets really into the track, and starts to all-out rap the lyrics. Just when she hits her stride, Swift completely eats it on the treadmill and falls to the ground — but she keeps on rapping!

WATCH: Beyonce and Taylor Swift Dance During Justin Timberlake and Jay Z’s Performance!

Swift shared the commercial with her 74 million Twitter followers with the hashtag #TaylorVsTreadmill. “Based on true events,” she quipped.

The music star’s ad for Apple Music comes nearly a year after she convinced the company to change their policy on how they compensate musicians whose music is streamed on the app. “#AppleMusic will pay artist for streaming, even during customer’s free trial period,” Apple Music’s Internet Software and Services Eddy Cue posted in June. “We hear you @taylorswift13 and indie artists. Love, Apple.”

WATCH: Taylor Swift Enjoys Girls’ Night Out With Reese Witherspoon

“I am elated and relieved. Thank you for your words of support today. They listened to us,” Swift tweeted at the time, thus allowing her wildly popular album, 1989, to be shared on the app.

However, the GRAMMY winner’s entire catalogue of music is still not streaming on Spotify, though Drake and Future’s track can still be found on the competing music app.

WATCH: Bikini-Clad Taylor Swift Takes Romantic Tropical Vacation With Calvin Harris

April 01, 2016

Taylor Swift latest video trades her usual sweeping, romantic fare for hilarity. Not only does she show off her rap skills in the new Apple Music spot but she also takes a side-splitting tumble off her treadmill. The clip, titled Taylor vs Treadmill, opens as the singer prepares for her workout, with her inner monologue lamenting ‘I hate cardio’ as she cues up a playlist and selects Drake and Future’s “Jumpman.”

The 26-year-old then starts rapping her heart out to the track, fist-pumping and waving her arms around as she runs at a steady pace on the treadmill. But, in her enthusiasm, she completely wipes out and falls flat on her face. “Based on true events,” she announced alongside the video.

@taylorswift @future @applemusic 

A video posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on Apr 1, 2016 at 11:53am PDT

Toronto native Drake loved the commercial so much he posted it on his Instagram account.

TAP FOR GALLERY Taylor Swift has starred in a funny new video for Apple Music

Taylor and Apple have an interesting history. Last year, the Shake It Off star wrote an impassioned letter to the company criticising it for not compensating artists for music streamed through their service’s three-month free trial period. In it she said she found their decision to be “shocking, disappointing, and completely unlike this historically progressive and generous company”.

“This is not about me,” she wrote. “…This is about the new artist or band that has just released their first single and will not be paid for its success. This is about the young songwriter who just got his or her first cut and thought that the royalties from that would get them out of debt.”

Based on true events. #TAYLORvsTREADMILL @applemusic @champagnepapi @future

A video posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on Apr 1, 2016 at 5:36am PDT

The star shows off her rapping skills in the clip

Just a few hours after the letter went live, Apple announced that they would in fact start paying artists royalties during those 90-days. Senior vice president of Internet software Eddy Cue confirmed the change on Twitter, adding: “We hear you @taylorswift13 and indie artists. Love, Apple.”

Following Apple’s big turnaround – and after many months of withholding her music from streaming sites – Taylor announced she was putting her album 1989 on Apple Music.

“After the events of this week, I’ve decided to put 1989 on Apple Music…and happily so,” she wrote on Twitter at the time. “This is simply the first time it’s felt right in my gut to stream my album. Thank you, Apple, for your change of heart.”

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Taylor Swift sings ‘Jumpman,’ falls off a treadmill in new Apple Music ad

#TAYLORvsTREADMILL

Based on true events. #TAYLORvsTREADMILL Apple Music / Drake / Futurehttp://apple.co/AppleMusic

Posted by Taylor Swift on Friday, April 1, 2016

If “rapping Jumpman and falling off a treadmill in an Apple Music ad” isn’t the most Taylor Swift thing we’ve ever seen, we don’t even know anymore.

In a very new, very Taylor clip promoting Apple Music, Taylor gets on a treadmill (her internal monologue: “I hate cardio”), cues up a playlist and stars rapping her heart out to the Drake and Future song. Except she doesn’t get too far before fist-pumping too vigorously and, tragically, wiping out on her face.

via GIPHY

The new ad is the latest chapter in the Swift-Apple saga, which started last summer when Swift barred the streaming service from playing her 1989 album over concerns about artist payouts. Shortly after, Apple agreed to pay and Swift made nice with the tech giant, and now, she’s their newest face.

We anxiously await the the only logical follow-up advertisement Apple could make, Drake and Future singing Blank Space into their hairbrushes.

Taylor swift treadmill fall

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