Strictly outta curiosity
What would happen if you got with me?
Kissin’ you would hit the spot with me
Come on skip a couple rocks with me

Give me any of your heart tonight
Ain’t no reason that we need to be apart tonight
I got something we can start tonight
Lookin’ at you girl, it’s hard to fight

Those stars need to be wished on
Your skin needs to be kissed on
My eyes baby, they’re fixed on you
In your snapback
T-shirt of your favourite rock band
Checkin’ your makeup in my Ray Bans
Breakin’ hearts like only you can
In your snapback
In your snapback

Come on baby, shoot a smile at me
Midnight selfie on a balcony
A little somethin’ for my life screamin’
You’re burnin’ a hole in my pocket
And we’ve got the beat, let’s drop it

Those stars need to be wished on
Your skin needs to be kissed on
My eyes baby, they’re fixed on you
In your snapback
Tattoos, cut-offs, and converse
Singin’ along to the song with the wrong words
Every move you make baby it works
In your snapback
In your snapback

Those stars need to be wished on
Your skin needs to be kissed on
My eyes baby, they’re fixed on you
In your snapback
T-shirt of your favourite rock band
Checkin’ your makeup in my Ray Bans
Breakin’ hearts like only you can
In your snapback
In your snapback

In your snapback
In your snapback
In your snapback

7 Amazing Things That Happen To Your Body When You Kiss Someone For The First Time

I’ll never forget my first kiss with my partner. It may sound cheesy, and there may have been enough tequila in my system to get a rhinoceros drunk, but there were *fireworks*. His lips were so soft, he applied the right amount of pressure, and smelled so good. I didn’t know he’d be my boyfriend at the time, but I knew I wanted him to be. Up until that first kiss, I wasn’t even sure that I liked him that much. He was quiet and shy; I was loud and outgoing. The kiss changed everything for me. I went home and told my best friend all about it. She even wrote about it in her journal and showed me a few years later.

There is nothing quite like a really good first kiss. You can feel it right through your whole body. There is a jolt of hormones, chemicals, and biological factors that go into making a fabulous kiss. It’s not all sexual chemistry. “Kissing is an instinct which aims at releasing chemicals in order to experience pleasant feelings.” Takeesha Roland-Jenkins, a professional consultant for the Between Us Clinic, tells Bustle, “Furthermore, the lips have nerve endings that become stimulated upon kissing, leading to the activation of additional senses such as smell.” Kissing is a wild, well-timed science experiment.

Here are seven incredible things that happen to your body when you kiss someone for the first time.

1. Your Stress Levels Decrease


If you’re feeling tightly wound, try opting for a makeout session instead of a glass of wine. Kissing regularly can help to lower your stress levels. According to a study cited on NBC, college students who participated in 15-minute makeout sessions had drastically decreased cortisol levels, the body’s stress hormone. Male participants saw increases in oxytocin, the brain’s feel-good chemical — while females actually saw a decrease.

The study also found that those who participated in the kissing felt stronger pair bonds to their partners. Pair bonding is what makes you feel close to the one you love.

2. Your Cholesterol Improves


As if you needed another reason to make out, kissing can actually improve your overall health, particularly your blood lipid levels. In a study in the 2009 edition of the Western Journal of Communication, researchers found that romantic kissing can actually decrease serum cholesterol and increase overall relationship satisfaction for couples. What is in a kiss? A lot actually.

3. Your Saliva Is Designed To Help You Assess Potential Mates


Slobbery kisses are not just foreplay. Apparently your body is actually trying to figure out if it wants to make babies with the person you’re macking on. Researchers at Oxford University have found that kissing is actually designed to help you assess a potential mate. They were curious to know why kissing is such a widespread practice and the purpose it serves. It turns out, the chemical makeup of saliva helps your body decide if the person you’re kissing would produce strong offspring.

Another theory from Rutgers University suggests that there is testosterone present in a man’s saliva, making it possible for a woman to access his strength as a potential mate on a molecular level.

4. Adrenaline Is Unleashed


When we kiss, our bodies jump into overdrive, release a burst of adrenaline. Your heart rate increases, and blood flow is positively impacted. This helps to increase your energy levels, giving you a boost of positive vibes.

After an intense kiss, you’re revved up and ready to go (hopefully to the main event — the sex, but you do you).

5. All Your Brain’s Happy Chemicals Are Released


Not only is your body flooded with the feel-good chemical, oxytocin during a kiss, but your body is subject to a host of other happy chemicals.

In an interview with The Expondent, Justin Lehmiller, a Harvard professor of psychology said that when we kiss, our brains are flooded with dopamine. This is the same chemical that is released when we engage in other highly pleasurable activities such as sex or listening to our favorite music.

6. Your Pupils Dilate


According to Marie Claire, one of the reasons we close our eyes when we kiss is because our pupils naturally dilate, making us susceptible to light sensitivity. This occurs because our pupils widen when we feel intense sexual attraction. If you’re kissing someone you are heavily digging, and want to know if they’re feeling the same, the eyes don’t lie.

7. Your Body Is Rife With Pheromones


When you kiss someone you really like for the first time, your body releases pheromones. These are the natural chemicals that attract us to one another. When you’re flushing in pheromones, you’re going to seem extra sexy to those around you. You are literally glowing.

According to Livescience, “The skin around people’s’ noses and mouths is rich in sebum, an oily substance that coats our skin. Evidence suggests that sebum contains pheromones, chemicals that broadcast information about a person’s biological makeup.” These pheromones increase our attraction and help to further access if the one we’re kissing would make a strong mate.

Kissing is a pretty amazing thing. Your body is your trusty guide to finding love and a strong partner. Long story short: If you kiss someone and are not feeling their energy, scent or smell, it could be your body’s way of telling you to back off and find someone else. Now, go find someone hot to kiss.

Your Brain On: A First Kiss

Getty Images

Fun fact: Humans are the only animals with lips that purse outward. You could take that as proof that we’re made to kiss. (Some apes do too, but not the kind of make-out sessions us Homosapiens dig.)

So why do we kiss? Research suggests a little smooching helps your brain gather all sorts of important information about the guy (or gal) with whom you’ve locked lips. It also perks up your senses and prepares your body for that other thing-the one that sometimes follows passionate kissing.

RELATED: 8 Things Men Wish Women Knew About Sex

Read on for all the juicy (but not slobbery) details.

Before Your Lips Touch His

Just anticipating a kiss, whether you’re wrapping up a great first date or making eyes at a guy across the room, can fire up your brain’s reward pathways, explains Sheril Kirshenbaum, author of The Science of Kissing. “The more anticipation you feel leading up to a kiss, the greater the dopamine spike,” she says, referring to the pleasure hormone your brain produces when you experience something enjoyable. Dopamine energizes your brain and senses, and prepares them to fully absorb new experiences and sensory information, Kirshenbaum says.

Anticipating the kiss may also trigger a release of norepinephrine in your noodle, she explains. This stress hormone explains the nervousness you experience as his eyes find yours and he starts to lean in.

During the Kiss

Your lips comprise one of your body’s densest zones of nerve endings, allowing you to detect even the faintest whisp of sensation, Kirshenbaum says. And thanks to all those nerve endings, kissing fires up a surprisingly large portion of your brain, she says. (Believe it or not, more of your noodle is activated during kissing than during sex, some research suggests.)

Why? Kirshenbaum says one answer might have to do with all the judging your brain is doing as it weighs whether or not you should take things beyond the kiss and into the bedroom. “We’re so aware of everything that’s happening during a kiss because it’s such an important part of the decision-making process when choosing a mate,” she explains. “People describe ‘getting lost’ in sex. But that’s not the case with kissing because our brains are hyper-focused on whether or not to take things further.”

Kirshenbaum says women typically have stronger senses of smell than men. And as you kiss, your nose is sniffing around your partner for important scent-based information. This info is delivered in the form of pheromones, chemicals his body secretes that tell your brain all sorts of important things about him, including stuff about his genetic makeup.

One study from Switzerland found women are more attracted to the scents of men whose immunity-coding genes do not match their own. In terms of reproduction, mixing different immunity genes will make your offspring more resistant to disease, the study authors say. (Interesting and related: Kirshenbaum says more research has shown the opposite is true for women on birth control. If you’re on the pill, you’re more likely to go for a guy whose genetic profile matches your own. She can’t say why this is the case, but she and other researchers suspect this could explain why some long-term couples split once the woman stops taking birth control.)

Since your brain is doing it’s very best during your kiss to decide whether your tonsil tennis partner is a good fit for you in reproductive terms, it’s not uncommon for women to experience a reversal of interest after locking lips.

After Your Kiss

Dopamine is also associated with addiction and habit-forming behaviors, Kirshenbaum says. This may explain why, in the days and weeks after your first (and subsequent) make-out sessions, you just can’t seem to get your new partner out of your head. Dopamine can also wipe out your appetite and make it hard to sleep, research shows.

Studies have also found kissing triggers the release of the neurotransmitter serotonin, which causes feelings of obsession. Another hormone, oxytocin, also spikes during and after your kiss. This fosters feeling of affection and closeness, and so keeps you coming back for more even after the initial high has worn off, Kirshenbaum says.

“Kissing is a universal human behavior for a lot of reasons,” she says, adding that it’s probably one of the most important aspects of our mate selection process. So pucker up!

  • By Markham Heid

The Surprising Importance of the First Kiss

Source: Guas/Shutterstiock

The first kiss is a landmark event in the lives of most individuals. You probably remember where you were at the time, who your partner was, and who initiated that all-important first expression of sexuality and affection. There are endless songs, movies, and even one of the most expensive paintings in the world (Klimt’s “The Kiss”) that commemorate the pursing of two people’s lips against each other, yet there’s surprisingly little research on it. If you think back on your own past, beyond the kiss itself, you may also remember who in your circle of friends was the first to experience this romantic milestone. You may have thought those early kissers to be particularly cool, popular, and adventurous. On the other hand, if it was you, perhaps you regarded the need to kiss your first boy or girl to be an interpersonal imperative you could hardly ignore. You were in love and wanted to show it.

It’s not clear why, as noteworthy an event as the first kiss is to many people, psychology has tended to give the whole matter short shrift. Indeed, there’s not even much research on kissing in general, whether between long-term romantic partners or on dating partners exploring their new feelings toward each other. Perhaps it’s just assumed that everyone feels the same way about kissing (i.e., it’s important), and therefore not much variability is to be expected in the predictors, correlates, or results of this form of physical affection. University of Connecticut’s Eva Lefkowitz and collaborators (2018) decided to explore the first kiss, or at least memories of the first kiss, as a reflection of an individual’s personality. Recognizing that the first kiss is associated with adolescence (in most people), the UConn authors regarded its timing and context to reflect the development of the psychosocial qualities of identity and intimacy.

As pointed out by the research team, kissing at any age, when it’s between people who don’t already have a sexual relationship, “affords many of the positive aspects of other (forms of physical intimacy) without the risk of sexually transmitted infection and/or pregnancy.” Within relationships in general, kissing is considered, according to the authors, to be a “positively valenced behavior in and of itself and is linked to relationship satisfaction and commitment in adolescence and adulthood.” People who enter the kissing game late may be avoiding this type of commitment, particularly if they’ve delayed their first kiss until they’re well into their college years. The delay of the first kiss, then, may have important psychological meaning, and this was the focus of the study.

In addition to establishing the age of first kiss among her sample of ethnically diverse average-age undergraduates, Lefkowitz and her fellow researchers wished to determine the personality, motivational, and demographic predictors of the age of first kiss. As they note, from a motivational perspective, you may want to kiss your teenage love interest, because you have a true desire to do so, or perhaps you’re just curious. These internally driven motivations are different from those that reflect peer pressure and going along with the crowd. Other predictors of the age of first kiss investigated in the study included family’s religious background and the general quality of relationships, self-esteem, use of alcohol, and academic experiences. Body image and body size (body mass index) were also examined as predictors of age of first kiss.

On top of these background and mental health factors, the UConn research team was interested in determining the role of personality. Extraverts might be more likely to engage in an early first kiss, because they are more socially motivated, though they may also be prone to high-risk behaviors. Neuroticism would be the second possible personality predictor of the age of kissing, based on previous research showing that those higher in this quality engage in more hookups and unprotected sex.

Using a sample of 738 undergraduates who agreed to participate in a study of college student life (50 percent female), Lefkowitz and her collaborators asked participants to complete measures of religiosity, academic performance (membership in the Honors College), closeness and autonomy in their relationships with their mothers, use of alcohol, body mass index, and self-esteem. A standard measure of personality assessed their levels of extraversion and neuroticism. A single yes-no question assessed previous experience with kissing, and participants also indicated whether or not they had engaged in a number of sexual activities, including sexual touching, oral sex, vaginal sex, and anal sex.

That kissing prior to college is the norm was validated in the present study by the finding that 14.2 percent of participants had never kissed a partner on the lips (although a few had engaged in more explicitly sexual activities). All other things being equal, participants most likely not to have kissed at all in their lifetimes were higher on neuroticism, less extraverted, less likely to drink, and members of the honors college. On the one hand, such findings might lead you to think that these qualities describe the “model college student,” who avoids risk and focuses on academics. However, considering that one developmental goal of college is to explore your own identity and sexuality in relationships with others, those individuals who put off their first kiss might be setting themselves up for sexual adjustment difficulties later in their adult years. Furthermore, not having kissed by the time it is normative to do so could indicate a larger pattern of inhibition and withdrawal from close relationships: “It is not only non-normative to delay kissing into young adulthood, but… it may also be unhealthy.”

Unfortunately, although the authors raised the intriguing question of motivation for early or delayed kissing, their study did not give us insight into the extent to which peer pressure affected when participants had that first kiss. It would be interesting to learn whether the people who kiss out of real affection toward their partner differ from those who are trying to go along with the crowd. If kissing is part of the search for self-definition that occurs in adolescence, as the authors propose, that first kiss could help you gain some clarity into your own goals and values.

Apart from these motivational factors, though, the Lefkowitz et al. study can help you gain insight into why you did or did not delay your first kiss. Perhaps some of your difficulties in relationships now could be traced to that pattern of inhibition as indicated by a delayed first kiss. Do you still feel you hold back when you’re with a person you care about? Are you afraid to risk rejection? Your age of first kiss could be diagnostic of some of these factors that hold you back even now. You can, however, still take advantage of the role of kissing in enhancing your current relationships.

To sum up, as the years go by, the memories of that first kiss are likely to fade, but the memories of your most recent one can help foster your present relationship fulfillment.

4 Red Flags While Kissing Someone That You Should Be On The Lookout For

Making out with someone new can either feel like all of your dreams have come true or like a scene from a tacky ’90s horror movie. Red flags while kissing someone new can sometimes be tricky to decipher, because let’s face it: Dating can be anxiety-inducing for a ton of people, and the first few displays of affection (i.e., kissing, touching, etc.) are usually when the pressure’s on the most.

According to dating expert and relationship writer Demetrius Figueroa, shutting down a new dating prospect purely based on the first kiss might actually not be the best idea. “In an ideal world, all of our first milestones when we start dating someone would go perfectly, but in the real world, you can have an awkward or bad first kiss with someone you end up with for the rest of your life, the same way that you can have an amazing first kiss with someone who you’ll never see again,” he says.

So while there are some kissing red flags to keep an eye out for if they occur on a consistent basis, a bad first kiss on its own won’t always ruin an entire potential relationship.

1. Excessive Eye Contact


Anyone who’s ever caught a date staring at them mid-kiss will know exactly what I’m talking about. I can’t think of one good reason anyone should be making out with their eyes wide open, let alone with them focused directly on the person you’re locking lips with.

If you catch your date with their eyes open, this could very well mean that they aren’t the most experienced, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But if you aren’t into being stared down, then it’s a good idea to come up with a nice way to let them know.

2. Too Much Tongue


Nothing can make a bad kiss worse like having your face covered by a huge mouth slug. Although, your first instinct might be to run somewhere far, far away from a tongue-happy kisser, according to Figueroa, a better option would be to give them a second chance, as many people may screw up the first kiss because of nerves.

“Just be clear about how you like to be kissed the next go round. Less tongue, more tongue, no hair pulling, etc. All these things should be easy to talk about, if they want to keep kissing you, as long as you’re both willing to learn each other’s preferences,” explains Figueroa.

3. Bad Breath


Bad breath has got to be one of the biggest kissing faux pas. Unless you’re already in a committed relationship with the love of your life who’s just gobbled up some garlic tacos, bad breath can be a real deal breaker, as it could be a sign that your date’s hygiene isn’t the best.

4. You’re Just Not Feeling It


Truth be told, sometimes, after an awesome date, you lock lips, only to realize the kissing chemistry just isn’t there. Making this call immediately after the first kiss might be a little too soon, but you keep on kissing and you still don’t feel the sparks, then it may be time to take a step back.

” red flag would be after the first kiss, if they refuse to try to kiss better,” says Figueroa.

Let’s be real, though, you guys: If you have a bad kiss experience with someone, a good way to guide them in the right direction is to communicate what you like and ask the person you’re kissing what they like as well. “What makes for a good first kiss comes down to preferences, and few people ask, ‘How do you like to be kissed?'” says Figueroa.

So before you write off a lackluster kisser, it may be worth it to kindly let them know how you like it.

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4. Use your hands.

Kissing can be about more than just the lips. Holding and caressing your partner’s face and body can take the romance into new territory. “A good kisser will kiss with their lips but reinforce with subtle gestures of bodily intimacy,” Gabriella, 21, of Pennsylvania, tells SELF.

JJ, 47, from Idaho, says she adores when her fiancé uses his hands as well as his lips. “He has this whole-body approach that I love,” she tells SELF. “He has his hands in my hair, and he pulls me in close, really tightly, and presses against me.”

Maria, 55, from Washington, D.C., agrees. “I love when a man holds my face when he kisses me,” she tells SELF. “It makes me feel cherished.”

If you introduce your hands when kissing, you’ll still want to proceed slowly and make sure to be attuned to your partner’s body. “Start out , hold their face, or have a hand gently placed at the back of the neck,” says Alanna. “Listen to their body and your own.”

And remember it’s always good to ask if you’re even remotely unsure about how your partner feels about what you’re doing or want to do, whether it’s touching their body or anything else.

5. If you’re going to bite, be extremely gentle.

When it comes to delivering little nips or bites, you want to be frisky as opposed to accidentally harmful. No drawing blood allowed!
Urszula, 24, from New York, tells SELF that the best bites for her are infused with a sense of play. Thus far, she’s shared her most sublime kisses, which were “full of passion and love,” with an ex-boyfriend. “We’d … tend to bite each other’s lips lightly,” she says. “We’d look into each other eyes and see the love between us.”
Try gently nibbling your partner’s bottom lip while you’re kissing, then gauge their response and move from there.

6. Keep your lips soft.

No matter how bomb your kissing technique, dry, cracked lips can make the experience uncomfortable for both partners. It’s worth doing what you can to keep your lips soft for everyone’s pleasure. “Having soft, pillowy lips makes everything better,” Annie says.

If you’re not a regular lip balm user, now would be the time to start. If you have a lot of dead, flaky skin on your lips, don’t pick at it. This can lead to bleeding. Instead, regularly exfoliate your lips with a wet washcloth or a sugary lip scrub, and then apply a thick layer of moisturizing balm right before bed. Adding a humidifier to your bedroom while you sleep can add to this routine’s moisturizing power. For even more tips, here’s SELF’s full guide to getting the softest lips possible. (If a medical concern such as cold sores is affecting your lips, these tips won’t cut it—see your primary care physician or dermatologist for proper treatment.)

7. Be in the moment.

Kim, 58, from Arkansas, says that staying rooted in the kissing experience is of the utmost importance. “A bad kisser is one isn’t giving their partner full attention,” she tells SELF.

Most people head off to college with a new laptop and plenty of dorm essentials in tow. I had all those things, yes, but I also headed into my freshman year with an odd little stuffed green frog who was holding a heart. “You’ve gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince,” the note accompanying it read. The stuffed animal was a gift from my grandma.

Was my very own grandma actually encouraging me to go off kissing lots of men?! And more importantly, did I really have to kiss so many frogs in order to find “the one”? I can’t even begin to count how many frogs I have encountered over the years, but I can definitely count the number of princes—on one hand.

If you’re dating in your twenties or thirties, chances are that you rely on a number of methods to figure out if you are into it or if the guy you’re dating is into it, too. But too often there seems to be an inordinate amount of attention placed on the significance of the physical stuff, especially the first kiss. In the same way we might overanalyze a first date, the first kiss can also become a point of relationship dissection. What does this mean? we might ask. Where is it leading? Are we going too fast? Too slow? Should we have done this already? Is this too soon? Does my breath smell alright? Did I drink too much?

There’s a reason kissing has become a customary part of courtship over the centuries. Research suggests that a kiss serves as a key indicator during that initial attraction stage, and people certainly do make judgments based on them. According to evolutionary psychologists at the State University of New York at Albany, 59 percent of men and 66 percent of women say they stopped pursuing a relationship because of a bad kiss. And from an unromantic, biological perspective, there’s all kinds of data suggesting that the scent of a man could provide subconscious clues about his genetic compatibility. While I would never encourage anyone to judge a human being solely based on his ability to lock lips, I have learned over the years that there are some insights a kiss can reveal about a man and your feelings for him.

Yes, the intimacy of a kiss can confuse things, but if you let it, a first kiss can also offer a little insight into the relationship. You’ve got to feel it out on your own, but these little clues are worth considering as you navigate early kisses and try to discern what they mean to you—and to him.

01. It’s a Confirmation of Attraction, Not a Sign of Intention

Sounds obvious, but in their own little way, kisses are a proclamation. Sure, different cultures have varying degrees on what different kinds of kisses mean, but it’s safe to say that in the United States, a kiss on the lips shows that you are more than friends. Of course there are exceptions, but in general, it’s like saying: “I enjoy the time we’ve spent together; I enjoy you, and I definitely don’t see you as a ‘bro.’”

I always thought this part about kissing was refreshing. In a world where we’re constantly given mixed messages, and men are increasingly confused on how to act toward women (and vice versa), it’s nice to know that there’s one little litmus test reserved for more-than-just-friends. It’s equal parts thrilling and vindicating. Feminine intuition, chill out. The attraction has been confirmed. I was reading the signs correctly.

But of course, for most of us kissing veterans, this clarification can be short-lived. Just because he’s attracted to you doesn’t mean that he’s clarified what kind of relationship he’s interested in. While each situation will have its own intricacies, there are certain indicators that are worth thinking about. For instance, was it just a first kiss, or was it a first grope, too? Did you feel like he was easing into the kiss or in a rush, or was he just caught up in the moment? Be sure to ask yourself how the kiss made you feel—did you feel totally off guard or even unsafe, or did you feel complete bliss?

Anita A. Chlipala, MA, MEd, LMFT, from Relationship Reality 312, Inc., says, “Someone who wants to keep kissing you is obviously enjoying the kissing and feels some chemistry, if you get a tongue in your ear and a hand creeping up your shirt, it may be he’s trying to rush or is just interested in scoring. Wait for another real date (not just hanging out), and see if he’s consistently in contact with you—not just texting you last minute, asking if you’re available to meet up.”

02. You Can Tell How Confident He Is

In this Verily article, Maggie Niemiec describes how courage is the most attractive trait in a man. And I wholeheartedly agree. My husband’s straightforwardness and courage in his initial pursuit of me swept me off my feet—and was certainly his defining characteristic as I grew to know him. Even our first kiss, although probably not movie-worthy, captured the essence of him: clear, straight to the point, and bold.

As I reflect upon my dating history, it was those nondirect and confusing first kisses that turned into the worst relationships. And while this certainly doesn’t mean all doom and gloom if your guy’s shy, how he approaches that first kiss can indicate his confidence—which can really influence how he treats you and himself.

Of course there are a million other indicators that can measure his confidence, too, but how he approaches those first kisses is something to take note of. “In terms of confidence, he just goes for it,” Chlipala says. “He doesn’t force the kiss but pays attention to your signals and has no problem deepening the kiss.” She adds that another sign of confidence is that he isn’t afraid to compliment you or address the kiss. “If he’s willing to lay his feelings on the line, he tells you,” she says.

03. See If He Is Sensitive Toward Subtleties

Kissing well involves some sensitivity—just like any human interaction. So, during those early stages, see how he reads little signs or hints, such as eye contact or the brush of a hand. How does he respond to physical cues while you’re kissing? And, most interestingly, where do these first couple of kisses happen? Are they right outside a gas station or on a hill with a nice outlook of the city? Essentially, does he know the difference between a dumpy backdrop from a romantic one?

Of course, in the grand scheme of things, these can be very minute details, but they’re interesting to note, as they can indicate how intentional he is or how sensitive he is to aesthetics and touch. “Waiting to kiss in a picturesque park in the city versus where it’s convenient can mean he’s a romantic and puts some thought into dates and important moments,” Chlipala says. “Regardless, if a guy pays attention to the subtleties, affirm it. You want to tell your guy that you notice that and appreciate his thoughtfulness.”

All of this said, remember, first kisses aren’t some incredible vehicle to read the future. While they can point to trends and little personality idiosyncrasies, it’s not the end of the world if it’s an awful kiss. “First kisses usually aren’t perfect—this is real life, not a rom-com,” shares relationship expert Laurie Davis, founder of Take note of the kiss, but don’t rule out a guy just because the first kiss was slightly awkward—kissing is an intimate thing, so it’s bound to be a little weird at first. “It’s just kind of funny how much pressure we put on ourselves with intimacy,” one woman shares with me. “Sometimes those awkward first kisses can be kind of endearing—and make a great story.”

Photo Credit: The Kitcheners

What You Can Learn About A Guy From A Single Kiss

You can learn a lot about a man by sleeping with him, but you can learn just as much from a single kiss. In fact, one of the things you’ll learn is if having sex with him would actually be worth it. After all, a lot of the techniques used during a first kiss are used in the bedroom. So the next time you end up making out with someone, make sure you decipher each move he makes so you can figure out the following:

If you have chemistry.

You can’t put chemistry into words. It’s something that you’ll just know when you experience it firsthand. If there aren’t any sparks the first time that you two lock lips, then that probably isn’t going to change. Chemistry would be there from the start.

If he’ll be an expert at foreplay.

Does he take his time going in for the kiss, or does he just shove his tongue right down your throat? If he’s too eager from the start, it’s a bad sign. It means he doesn’t know the importance of being patient, which is a must when it comes to foreplay. That means he’s probably not going to be a stud in the bedroom.

How confident he is.

Does he fidget with his keys for twenty minutes before he leans toward you, or does he go in for the kiss with his head held high? A man with confidence is a man who knows what he’s doing. Of course, there’s something sweet about self-conscious men, so either way, you’re a winner.

If he takes care of himself.

Does his breath taste like peppermint gum or cigarettes? If he had any plans to kiss you, then he should’ve brushed and flossed his teeth beforehand. If he didn’t bother to prepare for that first kiss, then he definitely won’t use mouthwash for any future kisses.

If he’s a good listener.

Does he tilt his head left when you tilt right? Does he open his mouth when you run your tongue over his lips? If he picks up on all of your clues, it’s a good sign. It means he actually pays attention to your needs.

How he feels about you.

If he’s kissing you, it’s pretty clear he likes you. Just pay attention to how he acts after the smooch. If he scampers away, he probably views the kiss as a mistake. If he tries to kiss you on a lower part of the body, he probably wants to sleep with you.

How laid back he is.

If you bump teeth, does he freak out or laugh it off? You want to be with someone with a good sense of humor, so it’s always a good sign if he’s able to make fun of himself, even during an intimate moment.

How good he is with his hands.

His lips aren’t the only thing you should be paying attention to. What he does with his hands can be just as telling. If he knows the right places to caress you from the start, he’s going to be amazing once you enter the bedroom.

If he’s serious about you.
The actual kiss isn’t everything. Sometimes, the location and timing of the kiss can tell you more about him. Did he take you out on a fancy date before he tried to smooch you, or did he just get you alone in a bathroom at a party? If it’s the latter, you’re probably just a hookup.

If you’re serious about him.
Did that kiss leave you wanting more, or have you already had enough of him? Kissing a man is a quick way to figure out if you really like a guy, or if you’re ready to find someone else to kiss.

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First kisses are awkward whether it’s the first time you’ve been kissed or the first kiss with someone new. You think it’ll be less awkward after kissing a couple more people, but nope. It’s like you forgot how to kiss because everyone kisses differently, and it’s nerve-racking. It could either be amazing or really bad like the wet and sloppy ones. Yuck.

Did you know guys get really nervous when it’s the first kiss? Making the first move is not easy. He doesn’t want to come off like a creep when he initiates the kiss. It might seem like he’s playing it cool when he tries to kiss you, but his palms are probably sweating from all his nerves. You’d be surprised how many thoughts are running through his head before, during, and after kissing. He thinks of the best way to approach you. He considers asking you if it’s okay to kiss you, but he realizes how stupid that sounds. He worries he might have bad breath or food stuck between his teeth. Bad breath is the biggest turn-off, but you probably wouldn’t want to let him kiss you if you saw a piece of carrot stuck between his teeth. Basically, he wants the first kiss to be perfect.

15 “She looks so good. I want to kiss her right now.”

We Heart It

You’re on a date with him, and he said you looked beautiful more than once. When you catch him looking at you, he smiles shyly. It’s really cute how he’s nervous around you. He doesn’t want to make any mistake because he doesn’t want to blow any chance of this turning into a relationship. But it’s hard for him to keep his eyes off of you especially when he’s thinking to himself, “I want to kiss her.” The problem is, he’s not quite sure how to approach you. He’s wondering how long he should make eye contact with you before it gets awkward, and he loses his chance. He’s thinking if he should just slowly move closer to you to see how you’d react. We all know it’s not easy making the first move.

14 “Does my breath smell? I didn’t have garlic or onions today. I should’ve taken a mint though.”

We Heart It

He decides to kiss you, but he’s worried that his breath might smell. Even if he didn’t have garlic or onions, he still worries that he might have bad breath. He tells himself, “I should’ve taken a mint earlier.” It’s weird to take a mint or chew gum when you’re right there. He thought he could offer some to you, but then he thinks, “How am I supposed to kiss her if she’s chewing gum?” Well, he can’t because that’s gross. Maybe it’s okay if you’ve dated for a while, but definitely not for a first kiss. If he didn’t have anything minty in his pocket to freshen up his breath, then he’ll just hope that his breath is fine, and you won’t notice if it’s not. Everyone worries about having bad breath because it’s the biggest turn-off.

13 “Does she want me to kiss her? Maybe I should ask to kiss her. No, that’s stupid.”


He wants to kiss you, but he’s not sure if you’d want him to. He considers asking you if it’s okay to kiss you, but he realizes how stupid it sounds. He thinks about it again and again. He doesn’t want you to think he’s coming on too strong in case it was too soon for you. It’s hard for him to not stare at your lips though because he really wants to kiss you. He looks at you more than usual to see if you’re giving him any signs that you want him to make the first move, and you’re waiting for it. Basically, he’s hesitant to kiss you because he thinks he might look like a jerk if you didn’t want to be kissed. It can be difficult to initiate the first kiss.

12 “I really hope there isn’t any food stuck in my teeth.”

We Heart It

You guys go out for a little walk to just talk, or he drops you off at your place after the date. Either way, he had a great time with you, and he wants to kiss you. Before he goes in for a kiss, he wonders if he has any food stuck in his teeth because he did have that delicious meal earlier. It’s understandable why he would be worried about having a piece of carrot in the front of his teeth or a popcorn kernel if you guys went to the movies. He doesn’t want any food particles to fall into your mouth. It would also be embarrassing for him if you were to see it when he was leaning in to kiss you. You wouldn’t have wanted to kiss him if you saw something between his teeth.

11 “Can she tell that I’m nervous? My heart’s beating so fast.”


Before he tries to kiss you, he wonders if you can tell how nervous he is. He hopes you can’t hear his heart beating so fast because he thinks it’s embarrassing if you could. He really wants to be a man, and just go for it, but it’s easier said than done. It’s okay. It’s normal to feel a bit nervous. It’s actually better that way because it means he really likes you, and he’s not a player. Anyway — there are a lot of thoughts running through his head like what if you don’t like the way he kisses or if his breath stinks. Because he’s nervous and overthinking everything, he wonders if he’s sweating and if it’s noticeable. He eventually calms himself down. He tells himself everything will be okay, and that he can do this.

10 “Stop thinking. Be a man and go for it!”


It might be surprising or not to know he has a lot of thoughts when it comes to the first kiss. He might play it cool, but he doesn’t want to make a fool out of himself. He wants everything to be perfect, especially when he likes you. It’s cute. He’s worried about bad breath, food being stuck in his teeth, sweating, etc. After some time thinking about kissing you, he finally decides to just go for it. He tells himself to be a man. It’s understandable if he doesn’t initiate the kiss on the first or even second date. When he doesn’t kiss you after couple dates, he gives the impression that he’s not interested. It’s possible that he’s just nervous, or he’s waiting for you to make the first move.

9 “I don’t know what to do with my hands. Do I put them on her hip?”

We Heart It

Kissing isn’t just about locking lips and using tongue. He doesn’t want to leave his hands at his sides because it looks a bit ridiculous and the only thing moving will be your mouths. The kiss won’t be that intimate, either. It would instead look like he didn’t want to kiss you, and it was a dare or something. So, he thinks to himself, “What should I do with my hands?” while he’s kissing you. He wonders if it’ll be okay to place them on your hip like many guys do, but he worries you might not want that yet. He’s not sure if you’d be okay when he caresses the sides of your face, holds your hands or wraps his arms around you. He’s trying really hard to not make this kiss awkward.

8 “When should I tilt my head?”


It’s easy for him to determine which direction he should lean his head in to kiss you because he’s the initiator. If he chooses right, then you’ll naturally lean left. Everything’s good. But it’s weird to kiss in the same spot for longer than necessary, so after you guys have been kissing in that direction for some time, he’s likely to ask himself, “When should I turn my head to the left?” Turning head just happens, but because this is the first time, he’s thinking more than usual. He wonders if he should do it now or in a few seconds. The kiss with you seems to be going well, and he doesn’t want to ruin it. He thinks you might think the kiss is over when he pulls away to switch it up.

7 “Is this too much tongue in her mouth? I don’t want to be sloppy”


A kiss that’s wet and sloppy is the worst. At the beginning of the kiss, there’s not likely to be any tongue action. Maybe just lip-locking. He then wonders if there should be tongue. He decides to give it a try and puts his tongue in your mouth. He thinks it’s a good sign when you respond back. Next thought he has is whether it’s too much tongue for you or not. He doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable. He definitely doesn’t want to be sloppy. A lot of tongue can get messy, and it’s a turn-off for a first kiss. Less tongue can also be a bad thing because it might seem like he’s not that interested. There’s a lot going on in his mind. He just wants to be extra careful.

6 “Does she like it? I want to see her but what if her eyes are open?”

We Heart It

He obviously wants to know if you like the way he kisses. It’s what he’s wondering while he’s kissing you. Because he’s curious, he wants to open his eyes to see if you’re enjoying it. But he worries your eyes might be open when his eyes are. Some people, for whatever reason, keep their eyes open when they kiss. He’s not sure if you’re one of those, so he doesn’t want to take the risk of making eye contact with you. It will make things awkward quick. He really wants to see you though. He wants to see if your eyebrows are furrowed because that could mean you’re confused with the way he’s kissing, and you’re not sure what to do. He also can’t believe that he’s kissing you, like he did it! He’s the man.

5 “Oh no. Did I just hit her teeth by accident?”


It’s a common mistake to bang teeth while kissing. When he felt like his teeth touched yours, he thinks to himself, “Oh no. Did I just hit her teeth?” He’s embarrassed because it makes him look like he’s not a great kisser. He also worries he might’ve pushed too hard which led to his teeth knocking yours. He never wanted to come off aggressive. He thinks of all the possible things you might think of him. He tries to slow down and be more gentle, but he worries it might happen again. It could be funny the first time, but if it happens again, it might not be so funny. Teeth clashing is more likely to happen when it’s the first kiss. Everyone kisses differently, and he doesn’t know the way you kiss, but he’s learning.

4 “I hope she doesn’t think I’m a bad kisser. Should I try again?”


When you guys pull away from the kiss, he hopes you don’t think he’s a bad kisser. It’s what bothers him the most. A lot of guys think they’re great kissers, and they want to be the best you’ve ever had. So, he replays how the kiss went over and over again to see if there was anything that he did wrong or anything he could’ve done better. He looks at you to see if you enjoyed it because he doesn’t want to ask if you did. He wants to know but not really. Instead, he’s wondering if he should try to kiss you again because he believes he can do better, but he thinks it’s a bad idea. It might make him look like he’s only dating you to get some action or trying too hard to impress you.

3 “What now? Do I tell her I enjoyed it?”


Now that the kiss is over, there’s that awkward silence. You’re both smiling, and he’s not sure what to say or do next. He asks himself, “What now?” He’s wondering if he should tell you he had a great time with you or that he enjoyed the kiss. It could be difficult to start up a conversation after you guys shared a special moment together. He doesn’t want to say anything stupid and ruin it. Because he doesn’t want to make the wrong move, he kind of expects you to say something. He might look like he’s not thinking about anything, and he’s just standing around, but there’s a lot on his mind. The only thing he knows for sure is that he’s not ready to leave just yet.

2 “Does this mean she’s my girlfriend now? Are we exclusive?”


He wonders where he stands with you after the kiss. He asks himself if you’re his girlfriend now or if you guys are exclusively dating. He wants to know if the kiss meant anything to you because it did to him. He thought going on a date and having the first kiss with you make it somewhat official, but he doesn’t want to ask you, “What are we?” It makes him look desperate, and he thinks there’s a chance that you might’ve let him kiss you because you were being nice. He doesn’t want to say anything wrong that might make you run the other way in case the kiss was just a kiss to you. He also thinks you might already think he’s your boyfriend, and it’ll be embarrassing to ask what he is to you.

1 “Wow, that was some kiss! I wish it lasted longer. Maybe next time.”


There were so many thoughts running through his head when he wanted to kiss you. He tried to think of a way to best approach you. He also worried if his breath smelled or if there was any food stuck between his teeth. He finally built up the courage to kiss you, but during the kiss, he worried his teeth might’ve touched yours or if he used his tongue too much. The kiss is over, and he’s happy it finally happened because it’s what he wanted to do for a while. Even though he thought the kiss was amazing, he was a tad upset that it was short. First kisses tend to be awkward, so. Well, he’s already looking forward to the next date because he wants to kiss you again and for a little bit longer.

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What happens after first kiss?

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