It’s Friday, you head home after having one six too many vodka sodas, and the munchies start to hit. You pass an all-night pizza place. You pass the diner. You REALLY want nachos, and if given the opportunity you’ll probably inhale a whole plate because you somehow believed your friends wouldn’t judge you, LOL. But the problem isn’t really that your friends will think you’re a fatass, it’s that your body and waistline will seek revenge on you the next day. Here are the top things you end up reaching for when you’re drunk, and what you should fill your grubby little fingers with instead.

Contents

DON’T: Nachos

Some (correct) people believe that nachos are the perfect food. They somehow manage to combine ALL of the food groups without being gross. However, they do this with billions of calories (probs) and the ability to make your hangover a whole lot worse thanks to all the salt, dairy, and spicy shit you’ve got going on there.

DO: Baked Tortilla Chips

Are they fucking boring? Yes, but having a few tortilla chips dipped in either guacamole or hummus definitely won’t make your hangover worse … and you need to accept that at this level of drunk, it’s already gonna be preeeetty bad. Bonus: avocados help you debloat! Guacamole truly is the glue that holds my life together. Do NOT reach for the salsa, as anything spicy can upset your stomach badly when you’re captaining the failboat. Remember: Alcohol makes everything worse—or, better temporarily and then much, much worse.

Eat These 10 Foods To Debloat

DON’T: Fries

Salt and alcohol are besties, but when they mix together in your stomach, it’s a cat fight worse than Cash Me Ousside Girl vs. Dr. Phil. Not only will the salt in your fries further dehydrate you, it’ll bloat your gut to unfathomable proportions and make that skin tight crop top you’re wearing look like it’s a dish towel meant to dry a beached whale. Not sorry. Avoid this shit at all costs.

DO: Waffles

Weird, but yes. If you’re craving something carby, go the sweeter route and make yourself some waffles. All that bready goodness will soak up those tequila shots enough that, just maybe, you can sober up and tell your boyfriend you didn’t mean to throw up on his lap.

DON’T: Pizza

Alcohol and pizza go together like Bey and Jay, peanut butter and jelly, molly and raves. However, stuffing your face with an ultimate meat pizza is going to give you heartburn, an acidic stomach, and some other discomforting shit you can learn about by reading the back of a Pepto bottle. The more tomato sauce is on said pizza, the worse it’ll be, too.

DO: Cheese Tortellini Or Ravioli

NEVER would we EVER steer you TOWARD carbs and cheese, but in the case of being blackout, we understand that sometimes the pull is too strong. The carbs will soak up some of that pesky alcohol, and the cheese, well, I mean, we really love cheese so whatever. Remember, NO tomato sauce unless you want bad shit to happen.

DON’T: Oranges

So you thought you’d be cute and healthy and see how many Halos you could shove into your mouth at one time. Enjoy your blowout diarrhea and/or citrus-flavored vomit tomorrow. The acid in citrus can fuck with your stomach something awful, so avoid this AND orange juice at all costs.

DO: Bananas

In this interest of impressing everyone at a party with how much you can fit in your mouth, opt for everyone’s fav dick-shaped fruit—a banana. The potassium can help that whole dehydration thing AND you’ll definitely be the most popular girl at the party based on how slowly you can eat said banana.

DON’T: Peanut Butter

I know … and I’m sorry. Peanut butter can make your drunk self feel sicker, since just 2 tbsps are about 190 calories AND extremely high in fat. Eating that then laying down is a one-way ticket to bathroom town.

DO: Hummus

Betches LOVE hummus. If you’re going the wholesome route with your blackout, reach for the Sabra instead of the Jiff or Skippy. It’s still fairly high in fat, but not as much as nut butters (lol sorry).

10 Foods That Speed Up Your Metabolism So You Can Skip The Gym

Author:

Betchy Crocker

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WHEN FOOD WRITERS discuss food, they should divide it into two categories: sober food and drunk food. Sober food is what you eat when you go to a fancy restaurant and want real artisanship put into your food. It’s what you want to spend lots of money on eating. Drunk food is what you shove down your throat after a night of heavy drinking in the misguided hope that it’ll absorb whatever alcohol hasn’t yet made it into your blood stream.

As far as I’m concerned, one category isn’t better than the other. I love a well-prepared meal, but there’s something truly awesome about having a line cook slop grease onto a plate in front of me and then expect me to eat it, ashamed, in the alley next to the restaurant before catching a cab home.

Each of America’s regions has its specialties — pizza in Chicago and New York, Mexican in the Southwest, barbecue everywhere — but America is America, and we know how to seize on a good idea and then take credit for it ourselves. For drunk food, of course, distinctions like “who did it first” and “where it’s the best” don’t matter — all that matters is “is it in front of me?” and “can I keep it down?” Here are some of America’s best regional (and national) drunk foods, as well as a place or two to find them.

1. Chili dog

Photo: Jeffrey W

What could be simpler? A hot dog with chili con carne and cheese. Probably most famous on the East Coast (we’ll get to Cincinnati’s variation later), the chili dog (or “Coney”) is a classic drunk food. The best that I’ve had is at Ben’s Chili Bowl in DC.

2. New York pizza

Photo: Guian Bolisay

The eternal feud between the New York and Chicago schools of pizza is silly because the two are so fundamentally different. And they’re both delicious. It’s like an argument over who’s better, the Beatles or Stones? Answer: Who gives a shit? The world’s wonderful with both. Time Out gives the best slice of pie to Lucali, but the City’s got so much great pizza that who really cares about rankings?

3. The humble hamburger

Photo: Robyn Lee

Hamburgers are an American institution, but each region has its own best burger. The best fast food, non-gourmet, perfect-for-being-drunk burger I’ve had is from In-N-Out, which is the strongest argument I’ve got for moving to the West Coast. Honorable mentions to Shake Shack and Five Guys.

4. Tacos

Photo: Ulterior Epicure

My friends from out West complain that there’s no good Mexican here in DC, and while I disagree (what up, District Taco!) I know the true home of Mexican food in the United States is the American Southwest. The Daily Meal gives the “best in the country” distinction to La Taqueria in San Francisco, but honestly, as long as I’m trashed and can eat 17 of them, I’m good with whatever.

5. Garbage plate

Photo: KNile

There is only one, and that is at Nick Tahou Hots in Rochester, New York. A garbage plate is exactly what it sounds like: a pile of greasy food. That includes cheeseburger, Italian sausage, red hots, chicken tenders, eggs, and a number of other things (depending on the variation you order). It’s like a fat sandwich (keep reading), but without the pretense of putting a bun on it. Time to go get drunk in Rochester.

6. Gyros

Photo: jeffreyw

Pronounced “yeer-ohs,” not “jy-ro,” the gyro is a traditional Greek dish of roasted lamb, some veggies, and tzatziki sauce wrapped in a pita. I feel like I stumble across gyros while wandering drunk through unfamiliar neighborhoods, and it’s always like bumping into an old friend. Try Bill’s Gyro Souvlaki in Atlantic City.

7. The McGangbang

Photo: Jim Kelly

You’re probably going to get blank stares if you walk into McDonald’s and order the McGangbang. Here’s what you do instead: Get a double cheeseburger and a McChicken, then put the McChicken between the cheeseburger patties, and you’ll have made drunk food perfection. The one pictured above is actually made from Wendy’s burgers, but hey, you’re drunk, you can’t tell the difference. Available literally everywhere.

8. Nachos

Photo: AlanaGKelly

You’d think nachos would be harder to fuck up — chips with meat, cheese, maybe some veggies? But it’s weirdly hard to find really delicious nachos, especially if you aren’t living in the Southwest. You’ve got to layer the ingredients, guys! I don’t want to get to the bottom of the pile and just have corn chips!

9. The Kentucky hot brown

Photo: Tojosan

The Kentucky hot brown is a staple drunk food in the Bluegrass State. It’s an open-faced turkey bacon sandwich covered in Mornay sauce or, in a pinch, just molten cheese. I really don’t need to sell it any more than that. Try it at its home: the Brown Hotel in Louisville.

10. Philly cheesesteak

Photo: Jpellgen

My favorite thing about Philadelphia is the cheesesteaks. Jon Stewart, who’s been making a career of picking food fights with other cities, recently tried to do a takedown on cheesesteaks but admitted at the end of the bit that he actually loved them, even though you have to order them “with Whiz.” My favorite is pictured: Pat’s King of Steaks, home of the cheesesteak. I know people who would murder me for picking Pat’s over Geno’s, though.

11. Poutine

Photo: Jenny Potter

Let’s give credit where it’s due. This is a fundamentally Canadian (or, for the separatists, a fundamentally Quebecois) dish. But fries covered in gravy and cheese curds is an idea so beautiful that it belongs to everybody, especially the drunks. Americans are mercifully starting to steal this wonderful recipe and selling it to drunks on our streets, but for the best, Thrillist suggests Le Banquise in Montreal. Add steak to take it to a whole other level.

12. Chicago deep dish

Photo: Sara B.

I had to put pizza on here twice for its two most famous incarnations. Chicago deep dish is, as Jon Stewart put it, almost “a fucking casserole.” But God bless this casserole. It’s much more deserving of the title “pie” than its New York counterpart in terms of structure, and the good thing is you can fill it with ingredients, making it perfect for drinking. Thrillist gives the honor to Lou Malnati’s, but it’s an intense debate.

13. Burritos

Photo: Jeffrey W

The true essence behind the best drunk food is “pile as much shit as possible together and wrap it in something.” That’s also the definition of a burrito, which directly translates to “little donkey.” Nate Silver, predictor of elections and seer of everything, is currently running a Best Burrito in America knock-em-out tournament, and you should check out what he has to say about it. In the meantime, skip Chipotle and get your burritos from food trucks — they’re almost invariably better.

14. Cuban sandwich

Photo: jeffreyw

The Cuban sandwich actually did not originate in Cuba — it’s from Florida. And considering it’s basically just a ham and cheese sandwich — which can be bland and boring — it’s incredible that there are no bad Cuban sandwiches, anywhere. So get hammered and try Gaspard’s Grotto in Tampa.

15. Kebab

Photo: J J

Technically not an American food, yeah, but hey, neither is pizza. We absorb everything in this country. Kebabs — or, if you’re being honest about what you really want, meat-on-a-stick — are a wonderful Middle Eastern import that’s perfect for drinking. It’s usually just spiced, cooked meat, and really, what else could you want? If you’re ever in Oxford, Mississippi, check out the Chevron Food Mart for chicken-on-a-stick.

16. Bacon cheddar fries

Photo: Hannah

I mean, the beauty is in the title. Bacon. Cheddar. And fries. If you’re bearded like me, you can relish the joy of having those smells on your face for a few days afterward. You can find these almost anywhere in the US, but Endless Simmer suggests the Lucky 7 Tavern in Jersey City.

17. Banh mi

Photo: wEnDy

While there’s a lot of horrible stuff that came out of colonialism, one of its truly wonderful products was the fusion of Southeast Asian and French cooking into modern-day Vietnamese cuisine. Americans have happily adopted two of the most popular Vietnamese meals: pho and banh mi. Pho is a soup, so it’s not well-suited to drunkenness. Banh mi, however, is a sandwich, and is perfect for absorbing the chemicals you’ve put into your stomach. There’s a large Vietnamese population in Seattle, and The New York Times suggests Saigon Deli, but they close early, so you may want to grab them after day drinking.

18. Cincinnati chili

Photo: Wally Gobetz

My hometown’s signature dish lends itself to much maligning from people who root for different sports teams, but three-ways, chili dip, or cheese coneys with Cincinnati chili on them are my #1 choice for drunk food. The best place to get it — and this is very hotly debated in Cincy — is Skyline Chili.

19. Roast beef sandwich

Photo: enigmabadger

Roast beef sandwiches need to be sloppy and possibly covered in cheddar. My only option growing up was Arby’s, and seriously — fuck that shit. I’m sorry, Arby’s, I need more beef than that. Residents of the great state of Massachusetts swear by Kelly’s Roast Beef as a proper drunk food.

20. Sliders

Photo: Marshall Astor

There’s no more shameful way to wake up from a night of drinking than under a pile of tiny cardboard slider sleeves. Or possibly no better. Sliders are technically hamburgers, which of course are on this list already, but they can hardly fit as much sloppiness as a regular sized burger, so really, the goal is to find one that slides easily down your gullet. My top pick? White Castle. But you should never go there unless you’re drunk or high.

21. Chicago-style hot dogs

Photo: Arnold Gatilau

The beautiful thing about eating while drunk is that as long as there are a ton of flavors and a lot of grease, you really don’t give a shit about how well or clean it’s put together. This is sloppy food for slopfests. And Chicago dogs are perfect for that — you’ll wake up hungover and covered in hot dog remnants. Serious Eats gives the top Chicago dog to Gene and Jude’s.

22. The fat sandwich

Photo: Emma Story

I first met the fat sandwich while drunk at my alma mater, Penn State. They are basically subs with every nasty, greasy thing you can imagine on them: fries, chicken fingers, cheesesteak, mozzarella sticks, mayo…they don’t originate from PSU (I believe they’re from Rutgers in New Jersey originally), but these caloric atomic bombs might be the most American drunk food on here. My top place to eat them is at Are U Hungry? in State College, or RU Hungry? at Rutgers.

23. Shawarma

Photo: cyclonebill

You know, considering that so many Arab countries are devoutly Muslim and thus aren’t fans of drinking, it’s kind of strange that they’ve given us so many perfect drunk foods. I’m a fan of both shawarma and falafel, and the best I’ve had ever has been in the great city of London. The food thankfully got a huge boost from The Avengers movie, so if it’s not near you by now, it will be soon. I know I’ve favored DC in this article with my choices, but Amsterdam Falafel in Adams Morgan, DC is too damn good to not recommend it to everyone.

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Best foods to eat when you’re drunk that aren’t a kebab

According to a recentsurvey, we consume around 5000 calories at our Christmas parties. And that isn’t even including the calories we fill ourselves up on throughout the rest of the day.

People could be racking up a massive 7000 calories a day as they over indulge this year. But is it any wonder? All that alcohol, plus all the delicious festive foods that are floating about this time of year are hard to resist. Oh, and that’s not to mention the dreaded post-party munch we unfailingly pick up on the way home.

Especially this time of year, it seems that I can’t walk past a chip shop on the way home from a night out without accidentally following my nose into a big pile of greasy unhealthy food. And it seems I’m not alone. Confessions from around the office showed that pizza, chips and kebab were among the most popular drunk food choices. It wasn’t all quite that bad though.

Some people around the office opted for a slice of toast, complete with either peanut butter, Marmite or a simply a big smothering of butter.

Photo: iStockSource:BodyAndSoul

We wanted to know how bad the choices we’d been making were and how to make better ones so we teamed up with top naturopath Max Tomlinson to find out just how bad the damage was. He came into the studio and explained just why that calorific snack on the way home is so bad for you, plus the simple changes we can make to eat healthy whilst we’re drunk. With any luck we might even be able to lessen that hangover.

We asked people what they typically eat when they’re drunk and Max offered up some sensible alternatives:

Chips

Image: iStockSource:BodyAndSoul

This was by far the most popular choice of drunk food and is it any wonder why? It’s far too easy to pick up a box of chips on the way home from your night out. But according to Max this is a definite no-go. ‘Listen, stay away. That’s a nonsense food’ he said. ‘That is going to do nothing for you except exacerbate your hangover.’

What shall I swap it for?

Max suggests grabbing some food from the petrol station or 24-hour shop you pass on the way home instead. Something like chargrilled chicken would be perfect, swapping in protein for the carbs.

Pizza

Image: iStockSource:BodyAndSoul

Pizza was another typical food that people admitted they’ll be grabbing on their way home after their Christmas party. Max advises that it’s best to stay away from greasy takeaway thick crusted pizzas but that isn’t to say that he rules it out all together.

What shall I swap it for?

‘If you’re going to have a pizza after a bender, just make sure it’s a thin crust’ he tells us. Have a healthy topping, add some greens to up your vitamin levels. That will help us to cope with all of that alcohol we’ve been drinking and we’re good to go.

Kebab

Image: iStock.Source:BodyAndSoul

This was definitely Max’s favorite. He even confesses that this would be his choice after a night out! ‘This, I love’ he grins.

What shall I swap it for?

If you’re a kebab lover then you’re in luck as this is Max’s number one drunk food go-to. ‘There’s some beautiful grilled chicken in there and grilled chicken by itself is a fantastic food.’ He recommends tucking into the meat and salad and leaving the bread well alone as this just adds even more unwanted sugar to our bloodstream.

But if you’re really looking to be healthy this festive season, watch the full video below to see just exactly what Max advises you keep in your cupboards and handbag so that you can be better to your body after a night out.

Read more stories like this: How many calories are in your favourite Christmas foods? Plus, Your hour-by-hour guide to a healthier Christmas day.

This article originally appeared on Healthista and was republished here with permission.

The World’s Best Guide To Drunk Eating

HOW TO TAME THE DRUNK EATING BEAST

Eat a Full Meal Before You Drink

Now that you know WHY we want to binge like Homer Simpson on a donut run when we drink, the important question is HOW do we get our party on and not blow all of our New Year’s resolutions? The first trick that will change your life is eating a full, protein-rich meal BEFORE going out. If your body is already satisfied with the rights foods, the likelihood that your neurons will misfire and think your body is super starved later on will greatly decrease.

Stock Your Fridge with Healthy Options

If, after a night out, you’re unsure whether or not you’ll even make it home in one piece, much less with your health goals intact, it will be easier to resist having your Uber or Lyft driver stop at Del Taco when you know there are GOOD choices at home already. Stock your fridge with already-prepared snacks and meals that’ll be ready to go when you are. The less you have to think about your food, the more likely you’ll be to eat it at a pivotal moment.

Drink Coconut Water…or at Least a Full Glass of H2O

If you really want to fight tomorrow’s migraine, coconut water is the ticket for hydration. The more hydrated you can be tonight, the easier 9 am will be tomorrow…so keep a case in the pantry and you’ll always be ready. Or if you’re fresh out, at least chug a full glass of water right before you hit the sack.

Go to Sleep Straight Away

Sometimes we head home before we hit a wall and may still be wired and ready to party when it’s actually time to get some rest. Do your best to let your arrival home be the time to unwind and prepare for sleep. A warm shower, a cup of herbal tea…whatever it takes to let the party stay at the club, do it when you get home. Your body will thank you in the morning for a decent night’s rest.

Eat Brunch the Next Day

After a night spent out, brunch food can be a welcome comfort. But instead of going ham on a stack of buttermilk pancakes, order something more balanced like a spinach quiche, fruit cup, or whatever option that fits within your dietary preferences. Your main objective is to consume protein, vitamin-rich veggies, and a healthy carb—a balanced, hearty meal that will realign your juju and be a great jumpstart back into your normal routine.

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Eating before, during and after drinking can help to enjoy your night – and the next day. Photo: Paul Rovere

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I’d like to think that most grown-ups never go out with the intention to get absolutely smashed. We’ve all had one too many from time to time and I’ll wager that at some stage over your drinking life you’ve come across that stereotypical Aussie view that “eating is cheating”.

It’s odd that in a country that considers the meat pie (up there with the kebab for best drinking grub) amongst its national dishes, you’d encounter this sort of attitude. Eating well is, in fact, key to maintaining a little control over your alcohol consumption. Not eating on the other hand is only cheating yourself out of an enjoyable day following your revels.

I consider myself something of a professional drinker. Every working day for me revolves in one way or another around alcohol and it has forced me to develop strategies to moderate alcohol intake and intoxication. In this, I believe, food plays the starring role.

Whilst no nutritionist, I do have a recommendation or two on what to eat pre-, post- and during your night out.

Line your stomach

Forget the glass of milk nonsense. And a bowl of crisps at your after-work drinks won’t do the job either. Lining your stomach is about having a substantial meal before you head out. A bowl of pasta, a roast vegetable salad or any nutritional meal will help slow the absorption of alcohol into your system and leave you less likely to crave fatty or sugary foods as the evening wears on.

Furthermore, ethanal is popularly believed to be the chemical responsible for causing your hangover. It’s produced as your body processes ethanol (beverage alcohol). Having a meal before a night on the tiles helps your digestive system cope because there is less ethanal for the body to deal with at any one time.

The midnight munch

Admittedly it’s hard to resist a popping into the nearest fast food outlet a few bars into your night out. There’s a good reason for this – when your body process alcohol, it causes your blood sugar to drop, which in turn will have you craving all sorts of naughty snacks – kebabs, pies and pizza are all more tempting than ever.

Eating at this stage will still help slow the absorption of alcohol into the bloodstream, but as cravings increase, willpower slackens and blood sugar drops, you’re likely to consume far more calories than you really need. More important at this stage of the night is staying hydrated – match every drink with a glass of water and aim for a full schooner or two of H2O before heading to bed. If you’re organised, take a Berocca or rehydration sachet like Hydrolyte or Gastrolyte before sleeping, too.

Post-grog grub

Let’s get this straight – the only 100 per cent foolproof hangover cure is not to drink at all. In saying that, there are definitely a few eating guidelines to help ease your pain.

The traditional fry-up is not as a good an idea as you might think. Digesting a high-fat breakfast will serve only to put extra strain on your already stressed digestive system. Instead, try honey on toast maybe with a little sliced banana. Or, for something a little more filling, poached eggs on toast with baked beans. Toast and beans will help steady blood sugar levels and replace lost sodium. Eggs, on the other hand, contain a chemical called cysteine that will help your body process toxins whilst honey and bananas will replace potassium and give you a boost of fructose.

Avoid coffee and tea – caffeine will only serve to continue the dehydration and irritate a stomach that has already been pestered by alcohol. OJ can be little too acidic for those of delicate stomach, and milk is to be avoided, too. Rehydration sachets and isotonic sports drinks are great at replacing lost salts and hydrating you to boot.

It’s still a process of trial and error to find out what works for you. My miracle dish for no logical reason is a Vietnamese Beef Pho washed down with a can of cola.

What’s your ultimate morning after-meal?

Ask any late-night delivery guy, and he’ll confirm what experts have gone to great lengths to prove: The more alcohol you drink, the hungrier you get — for pizza, cheese fries, nachos, street meat, or, if you took that last tequila shot, perhaps all of the above.

Not surprisingly, science suggests that alcohol stimulates the appetite in a way that makes you crave high-fat, salty foods. While classic drunk foods like pizza, French fries, nachos, and grilled cheese fit the bill, salty foods can enhance the dehydrating effects of alcohol, while fatty foods take extra long to digest, so your body has to focus on digesting food instead of metabolizing alcohol to sober you up.

Another thing: You really shouldn’t eat massive portions right before you lie down. It’s a recipe for indigestion, a shitty night’s sleep, and often, an especially terrible hangover — particularly if you house any of the foods you should never eat while you’re drunk. But everyone knows there’s no hope when the drunk munchies hit — especially if you ate dinner hours earlier. So try to stumble toward these better-for-you drunk foods wherever your evening takes you:

At Home, Eat:

1. Whole Wheat Crackers: Crackers contain whole grains made up of complex carbs that help absorb alcohol, and B vitamins, an ingredient that gets depleted when you drink alcohol and is known to worsen hangovers, says Amy Jamieson-Petonic, a registered dietitian based in Cleveland, Ohio. While you may be inclined to smear those crackers with a little peanut butter, resist the urge if you can. Peanut butter is super high in fat, which is difficult to digest right before bed — especially if your smear turns into a spoonful and ends in an empty jar. Opt for hummus, instead; it’s just as dippable, but lower in fat.

2. Whole Wheat Toast: If finish your crackers during the pregrame, dry whole wheat toast or pita bread are perfect alternatives, Jamieson-Petonic says. Just avoid butter or margarine — like peanut butter, these spreads are high in fat. Hummus or jam are better bets. (Just don’t let your buzz convince you to combine those two.)

3. Microwave Popcorn: Sometimes your drunk self really just requires something salty. When sweet or savory won’t do, popcorn will deliver without all the fat in chips or fries. Also, popcorn is full of fiber, and it’s relatively low in calories, so you can eat a lot of it without doing too much damage. While air-popped is ideal, Jamieson-Petonic says oil-free microwave popcorn is a close second.

4. Oatmeal: Small portions of soft foods like cooked cereal are easy to digest, says Rosalind Breslow, Ph.D., a registered dietitian and an epidemiologist at the National Institutes of Health’s Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism in Bethesda, Maryland. Make a packet of instant oatmeal to keep your portions reasonable. (You can always make a second one!) And add chopped apple (Cut carefully!) or nuts for a little extra crunch.

5. Cereal With Low-Fat Milk: If you’re not an oatmeal person, whole-grain cereal with low-fat milk contains the same good stuff in the carb-rich snacks above.

6. Rice: Hello, Chinese leftovers! Plain sticky rice is super easy to digest. Save the fried rice and heavy dishes like deep-fried sesame chicken for tomorrow though.

7. Low-Fat Vanilla Pudding: Mix cereal into a snack-sized cup for a little crunch. (And lay off the chocolate cups — chocolate is one of the nine foods you should never eat while you’re drunk.)

At a Diner, Order:

8. Pancakes: If you’re the kind of person who drunk eats breakfast food, pancakes aren’t a bad option — just avoid high-fat butter and go easy on the syrup. If you feel like you need a little something-something to really pour on there, order a side of applesauce. Even the sweetened kind should have less sugar and fewer calories than an equal amount of syrup.

9. A Waffle: Same deal as pancakes: They’re made of carbs that can sop up alcohol, and they’re absolutely delicious.

10. Soup: Avoid creamy soups like corn chowder and cream of mushroom. They’re higher in fat than clear, broth-based soups like chicken noodle, vegetable, and miso. And bring on the soup nuts and saltines — they contain carbs that will go down easy.

11. A Grilled Vegetable Panini: Paninis are grilled, not fried in butter or oil like the grilled-cheese sandwich you typically order. Not to say that grilled vegetables hold a candle to cheese, but they’re juicy and surprisingly flavorful and make a (semi-)satisfying substitution when you shove them between two pieces of bread (and eat while you are still drunk).

At a Fast-Food Joint, Order:

12. A Grilled Chicken Sandwich: Go for grilled meat over deli meats, which tend to contain more sodium, and skip the cheese and mayo to cut fat out of the equation. When they ask if you want fries with that, opt out or at least find a friend to split a small order.

At a Quick Store or Bodega, Buy:

13. A Banana: It’s a great source of potassium, an electrolyte that gets depleted when you booze it up.

14. Baked Tortilla Chips: They’ll satisfy your salty cravings with plenty of crunch and less fat and sodium than serious nachos.

At a Pizza Place, Order:

15. Veggie Pizza: Admittedly, it’s practically impossible not to do a pizza run when you’re out with a pack of hungry friends. If your night ends at a pizza shop, all hope is not lost. Get a veggie slice without the cheese or (second best) a piece of white pizza without the acidic marinara sauce that can aggravate acid reflux and heartburn. Just blot the cheese with a napkin to remove some of the fat.

Anywhere:

Water! OK, so this isn’t a food. But drinking water, a low-calorie sports drinks, or diluted fruit juice (half apple juice, half water) will help provide the body with necessary fluids and replace electrolytes such as sodium and potassium. Skip coffee or caffeinated soda though — contrary to what you might think, Jamieson-Petonic says caffeine can delay recovery.

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Elizabeth Narins Senior fitness and health editor Elizabeth Narins is a Brooklyn, NY-based writer and a former senior editor at Cosmopolitan.com, where she wrote about fitness, health, and more.

35 Foods That Are Safe To Make When You’re Drunk

So you’ve been out drinking, and now you are looking for that perfect, late-night snack. Give new life to your drunk munchies with these foods that are safe to make when you are drunk. Compiled by Spoon University, this list has something for everyone. Whether you are into something sweet or prefer savory, it’s time to put down the pizza, and try one of these quick and easy recipe ideas instead.

We’ve all been there. It’s 2 a.m., you just got home, everything is spinning, and you are ravenous. While most people would order a couple boxes of pizza to split among friends, there are still some folks who would rather go home and cook up a storm to satisfy their drunch cravings.

When we drink, we feel invincible. We kid ourselves that we are perfectly capable of handling ourselves as we trip down the stairs. But just because we are not seeing 20/20 doesn’t mean we can’t make ourselves some food to eat like a boss. Steer clear of the oven, knives, and stove, and try these no-bake or microwaveable recipes instead. These recipes are drunch-certified, and your apartment will not be burnt down in the process.

1. Apple Cinnamon French Toast Waffles

Photo by Dylan Barth

Microwave your frozen waffles and you’ll be set. Recipe here.

2. Pimped Out Easy Mac

Photo by Kai Huang

When you’re literally just too lazy and drunk to make it homemade. Upgrade it like this.

3. Four-Minute French Toast in a Mug

Photo by Rebecca Siminov

Get brunch started at 2 a.m. with this recipe.

4. Dunkaroos Dip

Photo by Aarthi Chezian

Nothing like a lil’ nostalgia to end your night. Here’s how.

5. Cake Batter Milkshake

Photo by Andrea Kang

As long as you remember to remove your hand from the blender, you should be good to go with this recipe.

6. Nachos in a Mug

Photo by Dina Cheney

Legit only takes five minutes. Here’s how.

7. Cornbread For One

Photo by Maddie Stanley

Why do squats when you can just eat cornbread at 2 a.m.? Recipe here.

8. Chia and Flaxseed Microwave Oatmeal

Photo by Becky Hughes

All you need is a microwave and a dream. Recipe here.

9. Brownie Truffles

Photo by Marci Green

Put those leftover brownies to good use by getting your hands dirty with this recipe.

10. No-Bake Oreo Bars

Photo by Kendra Valkema

No oven, no problem. Make it like this.

11. Omelette in a Mug

Photo by Megan Prendergast

No need to wait until morning for breakfast when you have this recipe.

12. Waffle Cinnabons

Photo by Phoebe Melnick

We dare you not to eat the entire icing packet first. Make yours like this.

13. Couscous Greek Salad

Photo by Megan Prendergast

Don’t sacrifice your diet just because you’re drunk. Recipe here.

14. S’mores in a Mug

Photo by Lila Thulin

Campfire at 2 a.m., anyone? Recipe here.

15. Five-Ingredient Peanut Butter Freezer Fudge

Photo by Caitlin Shoemaker

All you need is a freezer. Make yours like this.

16. Magnolia Bakery’s Famous Banana Pudding

Gif by Isabelle Smith

We dare you not to eat the whole jar. Make it like this.

17. Chocolate-Covered Candy Pretzels

Photo by Isabelle Langheim

Pretzels will soak up all that alcohol, and candy is just plain good. Make yours like this.

18. Microwave Cookie in a Cup

Photo by Christine Chang

It’s never a bad time for cookies. Make yours like this.

19. One-Ingredient Banana Ice Cream

Photo by Katie Walsh

If the freezer is just too far away, make this.

20. Waffle Pizza

Photo by Phoebe Melnick

If you’re too drunk to use the oven, pull out the waffle iron instead. Recipe here.

21. Red Pepper and Pesto Grilled Cheese

Photo by Libby Perold

Forman grill FTW. Here’s how.

22. Cookie Dough Ice Cream Sandwich

Photo by Alvin Zhou

The perfect excuse to eat raw cookie dough, just don’t tell your mom. Recipe here.

23. Four-Step Drunken Oreos

Photo by Abigail Wang

You’re already drunk, so why not keep the party rockin’? Recipe here.

24. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Sandwiches

Photo by Hunter Siegrist

Cookies on cookies. Learn how here.

25. 15-Second S’mores Cookie

Photo by Vi Tran

Microwave, eat, PTFO. Here’s how.

26. Microwavable Breakfast Tacos

GIF by Dylan Barth

Eggs, veggies, salsa, cheese, good. Here’s how.

27. Microwave Breakfast Sandwich

Photo by Scott Harrington

Fourth meal of champions. Recipe here.

28. Microwavable Rice Krispy Treat

Photo by Rebecca Block

This Rice Krispy comes together in just one minute, and the microwave makes it so easy, even your drunk self can do it.

29. No-Bake Cookies

Photo courtesy of eatathomecooks.com

No oven, no problem.

30. Homemade Nachos

Photo by Maddy Piacentini

We all want Mexican food at night. This recipe requires you to just dump a bunch of stuff into a bowl.

31. Pimped Out Popcorn

Photo by Alina Polishuk

All you have to do is pop some popcorn and top it with things like peanut butter + chocolate, or Sriracha + honey. Ugh, yes please.

32. Chocolate-Covered Strawberries

Photo by Morgan Goldberg

This is definitely the most romantic and fancy snack you will ever make when drunk, but that doesn’t mean it’s hard.

33. No-Bake Chocolate Peanut Butter Bars

Photo by Rachel Connors

In 20 minutes or less, you will be the life of the party.

34. Pumpkin Spice Doughnuts

Photo by Caitlin Shoemaker

Another microwave recipe, and another win for you when you’re hammered. Especially if you’re basic and love pumpkin spice.

35. Microwave Croque Monsieur

Photo by Alex Furuya

This baby is fancy enough to be served for guests, and easy enough to be made at 2 a.m.

Original post by Laura Harvey for Spoon University – Georgetown.

Looking for more drunchies? These should be helpful:

  • 25 snacks to satisfy your drunk cravings
  • College drunk food around the world
  • Kellogg’s cereal does drunchies

For more food ideas, check out Bustle on YouTube.

Bustle on YouTube

Top 10 Best Drunk Foods For Every Level Of Drunk

It’s 2 A.M. on a Friday night, and boy, are you hungry. The bars have closed, and you are drunkenly stumbling up and down Court Street looking for a late night bite to eat. With so many options, it can be kind of intimidating to choose the best place to spend the money you don’t have on a midnight snack. I know this can be a stressful activity, but what it really comes down to is the level of drunk that you are. From slightly buzzed to completely blacked out, here are the best choices for your drunken state of hunger.

1. Big Mama’s Burritos: Level 7

You’re stumbling back to your dorm or apartment and see this little blue alcove enticing you to come in for a nicely wrapped burrito. However, the long lines and sub-par ingredients require a heavy state of drunkenness.

2. Chicken ‘n Waffles: Level 6

Ah, the always loved “Chicken ‘n Waffles” from Uptown Grill. This masterpiece of a fried chicken patty slapped between two warm and tender waffles, topped off with some sweet ass honey mustard sauce just cries for our attention on the weekends. Make sure to have a sufficient amount of alcohol in your system to fully appreciate what this artery-clogging sandwich has to offer.

3. Pita Pit: Level 1

You can’t honestly tell me that you would rather have a healthy pita than something deep fried and smothered in sauce. You’re either sober or on a really strict diet with this one.

4. O’Betty’s Chili Cheese Fries: Level 10

O’Betty’s is truly the only one there for you in your time of need. Warm and delicious fries topped off with a mound of melted cheese and chili served to you through a magical window will assure that you had a great night that you probably won’t remember.

5. Insomnia Cookies: Level 2

Although a cookie may be a delectable treat when you are up late studying for finals, when you are trying to ease the pain of a hangover the next morning, this is not the way to do it. Insomnia Cookies is a place for people that pretend to be drunk enough for drunk food, but really just want to indulge without being judged. No one wants a cookie after a heavy night of drinking, come on.

6. Wendy’s: Level 8

This smiling ginger is an inviting face when you’re looking for a cheap bite to eat at night. With everything being fried and made quickly, nothing could be more satisfying to a drunk person than Wendy’s. You have to be pretty hammered to wait in that slow moving line that seems to keep regenerating the closer you get to the counter, though.

7. Jimmy John’s: Level 5

This one’s a toughy. The subs are delicious, but it doesn’t take a lot to be craving meat between a fresh bun. Jimmy John’s is perfect for that in-between-er that is legitimately hungry but also has had about 12 beers.

8. Domino’s: Level 6

Pizza is always a good choice when it comes to drunk food; however, you gotta be able to actually make it to Domino’s in order to receive said pizza. It may seem like a far trek, but if you’re at a reasonable level of drunk, the walk should be no problem.

9. D.P. Dough: Level 8

This drunk food option comes with a lot of risk, but the reward is so sweet. After ordering a freshly made calzone stuffed with the greasiest options possible, it becomes a waiting game. The time ticks on slowly as you sit there trying not to pass out for 45 minutes to an hour. When that delivery person finally arrives, what awaits inside that white and red box comes with a satisfaction like no other.

10. Good Fellas: Level 9

Like I mentioned before, pizza at 2 A.M. never disappoints. This big block of dough and cheese will absorb that stomach full of alcohol and have you feeling great. It may not be the best pizza on a regular night, but when the lights come on in the bars, everyone rushes to get in line for Good Fella’s. If you get there early enough, you can even be lucky enough to score the eating area by the window and slump over your pizza while other students pass by feeling envious of you.

What to eat when drunk?

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