The Mystery Behind Ancient Vaginal Jade Eggs Has Been Cracked

Multi-colored decorative eggs. Getty Images, Royalty Free.

Sexual health has long been a term stretching to various issues, depending on the social, economic, and medical concerns of the day. As of 2006, the World Health Organization (WHO) has defined sexual health as follows:

…a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. For sexual health to be attained and maintained, the sexual rights of all persons must be respected, protected and fulfilled.

In the past decade, the notion of sexual health, especially women’s sexual health, has entered the lucrative wellness industry, which is draining our pockets annually to the tune of $3.7 trillion dollars. The WHO, focusing on sexual health, both physically and emotionally, was not likely aiming to include the current trend in sexual wellness and scientific claims when stating the importance of “…physical, emotional, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality.” However, some sexual “wellness” practices may be far from healthy, and can come with a hefty price tag, as well as some hefty risks. A sexual health device which has recently come in to question has been the Jade Egg, offered on the Goop website for $66. But don’t try to buy one. There is no longer information on the product, and it is simply listed as “sold out.” At least for now.

Jade Egg “Sold Out” on Goop Site’s Sexual Health Section

Nina Shapiro

Has the Jade Egg become such a big seller for sexual health that it is currently sold out, or is there more to the story? As the Goop website no longer provides information of the so-called benefits of this rocky egg, we need to look at the reason why this product may be listed as “sold out.” The site initially recommended that women insert the egg into their vaginas for several hours, or even overnight to “get better connected to the power within.” The egg was supposed to “increase vaginal muscle tone, hormonal balance, and feminine energy in general.” The eggs were also claimed to have been used as “an incredible, secret practice” by ancient Chinese concubines.

And the question remained, are these ‘ancient vaginal jade eggs’ really beneficial for sexual health, and are they as ‘ancient,’ as they claimed to be? In the late summer of 2018, ten prosecutors in California settled a suit against the Goop company for $145,000, stating that the company offered claims for the vaginal jade egg supporting hormonal balance, menstrual regulation, and bladder control, none of which had any scientific backing. The company then offered refunds to egg purchasers, even though the site initially stated that the eggs were not returnable. The site would still offer the eggs (although they are, at the time of this writing, listed as sold out, with no product information on the site), but remove the claims of health benefits. While this settlement raised awareness of the Goop company’s questionable health claims, at least with regard to this product, the dollar amount of the settlement is a small drop in the bucket for the Goop company, whose total value stands at $250 million.

Obstetrician/gynecologist Dr. Jen Gunter wrote a detailed piece on her blog, explaining the many biologic reasons why the jade egg is unnecessary to increase sexual health. One of the claims Dr. Gunter questions is that the presence of the egg in the vagina will strengthen pelvic floor muscles, which can be done much more safely (and at no cost) by performing kegel exercises. She also discussed the significant medical risks of egg placement, including bacterial infections, fungal infections, and even something called toxic shock syndrome, a severe, life-threatening bacterial infection which was first recognized with prolonged tampon use.

The concept of ‘ancient’ when discussing a medical therapy may give an illusory notion that the practice is, indeed, healthful, as it dates back over millennia. As the jade egg was touted as an ancient practice, Dr. Gunter and her colleague Dr. Sarah Parcak, an archeologist, investigated whether or not, indeed, vaginal insertion of a jade egg was an ancient Chinese practice. Their study of over 5000 jade objects in four major Chinese art and archeology databases found no vaginal eggs. There was no evidence that vaginal jade eggs were used for sexual health in ancient Chinese cultures. Their work was published in the journal Female Pelvic Medicine and Reconstructive Surgery this month. The Goop company did not immediately respond to request for comment.

Are Yoni Eggs All They’re Cracked Up to Be?

By Brianna Flaherty

If you somehow managed to miss the Goop controversy about yoni eggs and/or have no idea what a yoni egg even is (welcome 👋), they’re egg-shaped crystals you can insert into your vagina. Why would you or anyone you know do such a thing? Because they’ve *allegedly* been used for thousands of years to enhance sexual prowess, youth, and vitality—three traits most of us would call desirable.

These days, yoni eggs are pushed by tons of manufacturers and wellness blogs as an ancient solution for everything from vaginal tightening, to period cramps, to achieving better orgasms, to ending bladder leaks. Gynos and women’s health professionals are up in arms about what the internet says these eggs are capable of, but some women who have used jade eggs swear they’ve built a better relationship with their bod as a result. Today’s question: To egg or not to egg?

I got answers across party lines from Lindsey Vestal, our pelvic health expert, and Vanessa Cuccia, the founder of jade egg company, Chakrubs. I learned there’s definitely a responsible way—and many, many irresponsible ways—to use jade eggs.

when *not* to put crystals in your vag

Honestly, if you’re someone who’s experiencing pelvic floor dysfunction (leaking and painful sex are just two of many possible symptoms), yoni eggs are a pretty hard no for you. Lindsey explains that one of her biggest trepidations around yoni eggs is that they perpetuate the same problematic ideas about our pelvic floor as Kegels.

Think about it: Yoni eggs are pretty heavy (they’re crystals, y’all) and most women think they’re supposed to leave them in for extended periods of time. That’s kind of like thinking you’ll build your biceps by walking around flexing them all day. The reality is that clenching your muscles for extended periods of time will cause fatigue, which can lead to soreness, pain, and general intensity of your symptoms.

Doctors also regularly warn of the dangers of any rock sitting in your canal. Because they’re porous, yoni eggs can be tough to clean thoroughly, which means you can put yourself at risk for infections like toxic shock syndromeand bacterial vaginosis.

As a purveyor of authentic jade eggs, Vanessa is also adamant that it’s “always a good idea to speak to your doctor before starting a practice as intimate as this.” She also adds that if you opt for an egg, purchasing it from a trusted source is super important. So many people are churning ‘em out these days that it’s easy to wind up with an egg that’s not made from crystal at all, which means you’re likely just squeezing some good ole’ translucent kitchen marble.

when to *possibly* put crystals in your vag

So if yoni eggs aren’t a proven cure for pelvic floor maladies, and they’ve been associated with legitimate medical risks, why bother? Vanessa explains that “an intentional practice with the egg strengthens the relationship people have with their vaginas,” which doesn’t sound like such a bad thing. They key word there, though, is “intentional.”

Lindsey says she’s never suggested a client incorporate jade eggs in their practice, and she’s never, ever known yoni eggs to improve a client’s medical condition. That said, she’s open-minded. What yoni eggs *do* offer is a chance to feel a little more connected with an area of your body—and with an allegedly ancient practice—that you might feel kind of dissociated from. If you’ve used a yoni egg and feel a particular connection to it, she can help re-incorporate it into your practice *after* the root of your pelvic floor dysfunction has been addressed, and *if* it’s deemed medically safe for your bod to squeeze crystals again.

Yoni eggs aren’t lethal weapons, but doctors warn against them for good reason. They aren’t medically-endorsed solutions for pelvic floor dysfunction (or medical maladies) of any kind, and if they’re used irresponsibly they can be dangerous. If you do want to connect with your down under and you opt for eggin’ around, make sure you consult with your doctor and always, always, always purchase from a trusted source.

What do you think? To egg or not to egg?

This article originally appeared in The Iconic.

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Editor’s note: A gentle warning to listeners across the country, this hour will address mature subject matter.

With Meghna Chakrabarti

OB-GYN and New York Times columnist Dr. Jen Gunter advises her patients — and her hundreds of thousands of Twitter followers — to put away the jade eggs, the garlic, and to stop listening to Gwyneth Paltrow. In her funny, fact-based book, Gunter separates myth from medicine about women’s bodies.

Guest

Dr. Jen Gunter, obstetrician and gynecologist. Author of “The Vagina Bible” and columnist for The New York Times. (@DrJenGunter)

From The Reading List

Excerpt from “The Vagina Bible” by Jen Gunter

Introduction

I HAVE A VAGENDA: for every woman to be empowered with accurate information about the vagina and vulva.

One of the core tenets of medicine is informed consent. We doctors provide information about risks and benefits and then, armed with that information, our patients make choices that work for their bodies. This only works when the information is accurate and unbiased. Finding this kind of data can be challenging, as we have quickly passed through the age of information and seem to be stalled in the age of misinformation.

Snake oil and the lure of a quick fix have been around for a long time, and so false, fantastical medical claims are nothing new. However, sorting myth from medicine is getting harder and harder.

In addition to social media feeds that constantly display medical mes saging of variable quality, there are the demands of a headline-driven news cycle that constantly requires new content-even when it doesn’t exist. With women’s bodies, there are even more forces of misdirection at work. Pseudoscience and those who peddle it are invested in misinformation, but so is the patriarchy.

Obsessions with reproductive tract purity and cleansing date back to a time when a woman’s worth was measured by her virginity and how many children she might bear. A vagina and uterus were currency. Playing on these fears awakens something visceral. It’s no wonder the words “pure,” “natural,” and “clean” are used so often to market products to women.

Members of the media and celebrity influencers tap into these fears with articles about and products to prevent vaginal mayhem, as if the vagina (which evolved to stretch and tear to deliver a baby long before suture material was invented) is somehow so fragile that it is constantly in a state of near catastrophe.

Why The Vagina Bible instead of The Vagina and Vulva Bible? Because that is how we collectively talk about the lower reproductive tract (the vagina and vulva). Medically, the vagina is only the inside, but language evolves and words take on new meaning. For example, “catfish” and “text” both have additional meanings that I could never have imagined when I was growing up. “Gut” is from the Old English for the intestinal tract, usu ally meaning the lower part (from the stomach on down) but not always. It’s actually a very imprecise term; yet it has been embraced by the medical community and is even the name of a leading journal dedicated to the study of the alimentary (digestive) tract, the liver, biliary tree, and pancreas.

I have been in medicine for thirty-three years, and I’ve been a gynecologist for twenty-four of them. I’ve listened to a lot of women, and I know the questions they ask as well as the ones they want to ask but don’t quite know how.

The Vagina Bible is everything I want women to know about their vulvas and vaginas. It is my answer to every woman who has listened to me pass on information in the office or online and then wondered, “How did I not know this?”

You can read the book in order from front to back or visit specific chapters or even sections as they speak to you. It’s all good! I hope over the years many pages will become worn as you go back to double-check what a doctor told you in the office, to research a product that makes wild claims about improving vaginas and vulvas, or help a friend or sexual partner out with an anatomy lesson.

Misinforming women about their bodies serves no one. And I’m here to help end it.

From the book THE VAGINA BIBLE by Jen Gunter. Copyright © 2019 by Jen Gunter. Excerpted with permission by Kensington Publishing Corp.

New York Times: “Your Vagina Is Terrific (and Everyone Else’s Opinions Still Are Not)” — “When I was in my 20s and already a doctor, I still let my sexual partners believe they were the experts in female anatomy, despite the fact that I was studying to be an OB/GYN. These men would tell me things that were untrue and I would count ceiling tiles while they fumbled around in the wrong ZIP code, if you know what I mean.

“Instead of correcting them, I just nodded and faked my share of orgasms because I prioritized men feeling comfortable over my own sexual pleasure.

“It’s enraging that faking orgasms to satisfy a man’s sexual script has not been confined to the trash heap of bad history. Studies tell us that up to 67 percent of women who have experienced penile-vaginal intercourse have faked orgasms. All for reasons painfully familiar to me: not wanting to hurt my male partner’s feelings, knowing I won’t be listened to, feeding his ego or simply wanting the sex to end.

“We rarely talk openly about what’s required for a woman to have a good sexual experience, and so many heterosexual women learn the mechanics of sex and female orgasms from movies (most of which are written, directed and produced by … men). What I like to call the three-strokes-of-penetration-bite-your-lip-arch-the-back-and-moan routine.”

Washington Post: “Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop touted the ‘benefits’ of putting a jade egg in your vagina. Now it must pay.” — “We need to talk about Gwyneth Paltrow’s vaginal eggs. Again.

“For the uninitiated, these are the egg-shaped jade or quartz stones sold through Goop, Paltrow’s new-age wellness company and lifestyle brand. Per Goop, women are supposed to insert said eggs into their vaginas — and keep them there for varying periods of time, sometimes overnight — to ‘get better connected to the power within.’

“For $66, one can buy a dark nephrite jade egg, which allegedly brings increased sexual energy and pleasure. Or, for $55, there is the ‘heart-activating’ rose quartz egg, for those who want more positive energy and love. Until recently, a page on Goop’s website promised that the eggs would ‘increase vaginal muscle tone, hormonal balance, and feminine energy in general.’

“Those claims were, well, a stretch, with no grounding in real science, according to a consumer protection lawsuit filed by state prosecutors representing 10 California counties. On Wednesday, state officials and Goop announced that they had settled the suit, with Paltrow’s company agreeing to pay $145,000 in civil penalties.

“Specifically, the suit called out Goop’s jade egg, its rose quartz egg and its ‘Inner Judge Flower Essence Blend’ as products ‘whose advertised medical claims were not supported by competent and reliable science,’ according to the Santa Clara County district attorney’s office. For example, the flower essence blend had been marketed as a blend of essential oils that could ward off depression.

“And the jade eggs? They had developed a reputation — and a backlash — of their own.”
Grace Tatter produced this hour for broadcast.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop to pay £110,000 settlement over vaginal egg claims

Goop, the lifestyle company owned by Gwyneth Paltrow, has agreed to pay a settlement of $145,000 (£112,514) after making unscientific claims about the health benefits of vaginal eggs.

On the Goop website, it states that using jade vaginal eggs can provide women with a “spiritual detox” by removing negative energy when used on a daily basis.

However, a group of district attorneys from California filed a lawsuit against the company, which states that the assertions made on the site are unfounded.

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The statement released by the office of the district attorney in the Californian county of Santa Clara states that the medical claims made about the vaginal eggs are “not supported by competent and reliable science.”

The lawsuit refers to two different types of vaginal egg in particular: Goop’s Jade Egg and a Rose Quartz Egg.

The eggs are currently still available to purchase on the site, priced at $66 (£50) and $55 (£42) respectively.

Another product was also referenced in the lawsuit; the Inner Judge Flower Essence Blend of essential oils, which was described as being able to “prevent depression”.

Jeff Rosen, district attorney of the county of Santa Clara, explained that it’s important for companies making claims about alleged health benefits of products to be authentic.

“The health and money of Santa Clara County residents should never be put at risk by misleading advertising,” he said.

“We will vigilantly protect consumers against companies that promise health benefits without the support of good science… or any science.”

Any customers who bought the Jade Egg, the Rose Quartz Egg or the Inner Judge Flower Essence Blend between January 12 2017 and August 31 2017 will be able to request a full refund from Goop by contacting customer service.

The company will pay a settlement of $145,000 (£111,722) as a result of the allegations made in the lawsuit.

Erica Moore, chief financial officer of Goop, explained in a statement emailed to Bloomberg why the company chose to pay the settlement fee.

“Goop provides a forum for practitioners to present their views and experiences with various products like the Jade Egg,” she said.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop website under fire for telling women to achieve their ‘leanest liveable weight’

“The law, though, sometimes views statements like this as advertising claims, which are subject to various legal requirements.”

The comments on the Goop website regarding the vaginal eggs came from an interview conducted with Shiva Rose, an actor, activist and blogger.

The site was previously lambasted for promoting a coffee enema kit, which people criticised for being potentially harmful.

Prosecutors alleged the descriptions were \”not supported by competent and reliable scientific evidence.\”

\”There\u0027s a group of people who have problems like that and they might be vulnerable. A lot of people\u00e2\u0080\u00a6 might do the things that you suggest and so you can do a lot of harm by falsely advertising that something is a medical cure,\” Rackauckas said.

Paltrow launched Goop 10 years ago and the company said three million people visit the site every month. In agreeing to the settlement, Goop called the dispute \”an honest disagreement.\” It said it \”provides a forum\” for users to \”present their views\” on the products. But \”the law, though, sometimes views statements like this as advertising claims, which are subject to various legal requirements,\” the company said. \”We appreciate\” the task force\u0027s guidance, the company added.
\”Health and wellness is a very hot industry and part and parcel with that, we\u0027re seeing a significant rise in misleading and deceptive marking claims,\” said Bonnie Patten, executive director of Truth in Advertising. She said Goop isn\u0027t alone. Her site has more than 2,000 examples of wellness companies making inappropriate disease treatment claims.
\”Any time a consumer sees a product that\u0027s being marketed as a treatment or cure all\u00e2\u0080\u00a6 they need to be wary of that and they should definitely talk to a health care provider before purchasing it,\” Patten said.

Goop settles over vaginal eggs health claims

Actress Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle company, Goop, agreed to a $145,000 settlement after being accused of making unfounded claims about products designed to aid women’s sexual and emotional health. A lawsuit filed by prosecutors from 10 California counties said the company did not have scientific backing for health claims it made for three products sold online: two vaginal eggs and a mix of essential oils.

Orange County District Attorney Tony Rackauckas said Goop is guilty of false advertising, reports CBS News correspondent Anna Werner.

“People have been selling snake oil for a long time. This is just another type of snake oil,” Rackauckas said.

  • Doctors warn against Gwyneth Paltrow’s advice on vaginal jade eggs

A task force settlement announced Wednesday focused on three products sold by Goop. The jade and rose quartz vaginal eggs were promoted as a way to “balance hormones, regulate menstrual cycles… and increase bladder control.” The mix of essential oils was advertised as a way to “help prevent depression.”

Prosecutors alleged the descriptions were “not supported by competent and reliable scientific evidence.”

“There’s a group of people who have problems like that and they might be vulnerable. A lot of people… might do the things that you suggest and so you can do a lot of harm by falsely advertising that something is a medical cure,” Rackauckas said.

Paltrow launched Goop 10 years ago and the company said three million people visit the site every month. In agreeing to the settlement, Goop called the dispute “an honest disagreement.” It said it “provides a forum” for users to “present their views” on the products. But “the law, though, sometimes views statements like this as advertising claims, which are subject to various legal requirements,” the company said. “We appreciate” the task force’s guidance, the company added.

“Health and wellness is a very hot industry and part and parcel with that, we’re seeing a significant rise in misleading and deceptive marking claims,” said Bonnie Patten, executive director of Truth in Advertising. She said Goop isn’t alone. Her site has more than 2,000 examples of wellness companies making inappropriate disease treatment claims.

“Any time a consumer sees a product that’s being marketed as a treatment or cure all… they need to be wary of that and they should definitely talk to a health care provider before purchasing it,” Patten said.

The products in question are still on Goop’s website but with altered descriptions. As part of the settlement, Goop also said it will offer refunds to customers who request them.

Gwyneth Paltrow is doling out controversial vagina advice (again)

In 2015 she recommended that readers of her lifestyle website steam-clean their vaginas. Now Gwyneth Paltrow is back in the news after a gynecologist described her latest life-enhancing product, a pair of jade eggs designed to be worn inside the vagina all day, as ‘garbage’.

In an open letter to The Goopster, gynecologist Dr Jen Gunter slammed both the star’s decision to sell the $66 ‘Yoni’ eggs to unwitting readers and her suggestion that they ‘increase chi, orgasms, vaginal muscle tone, hormonal balance, and feminine energy in general’.

Dr Gunter writes: ‘I read the post on GOOP and all I can tell you is it is the biggest load of garbage I have read on your site since vaginal steaming,’

The doctor explained that while she feels women ‘have more compelling health interests right now’, she had been asked by so many people about Gwyneth’s ‘vaginal rocks’ that she felt obliged to share her thoughts on the matter.

‘It’s even worse than claiming bras cause cancer. But hey, you aren’t one to let facts get in the way of profiting from snake oil.’ the doctor continues.

‘My issue begins with the very start of your post on jade eggs specifically that “queens and concubines used them to stay in shape for emperors.” Nothing says female empowerment more than the only reason to do this is for your man!

‘And then the claim that they can balance hormones is, quite simply, biologically impossible. Pelvic floor exercises can help with incontinence and even give stronger orgasms for some women, but they cannot change hormones. As for female energy? I’m a gynecologist and I don’t know what that is!? How does one test for it? Organically sourced, fair trade urine pH sticks coming soon to GOOP for $77 I presume?’

And the notion that jade eggs can improve your sex life?

‘Overenthusiastic Kegel exercises or incorrectly done Kegel exercises are a cause of pelvic pain and pain with sex in my practice,’ Dr Gunter warns.

‘Imagine how your biceps muscle (and then your shoulders and then your back) might feel if you walked around all day flexed holding a barbell? Right, now imagine your pelvic floor muscles doing this.’

What’s more, Dr Gunter says you should never, ever sleep with a jade egg in your vagina. Why? Well, it could kill you, essentially.

‘I would like to point out that jade is porous which could allow bacteria to get inside and so the egg could act like a fomite.’ she writes.

‘This is not good, in case you were wondering. It could be a risk factor for bacterial vaginosis or even the potentially deadly toxic shock syndrome.’

So there you have it; when it comes to wellness trends, speak to a medical expert before subjecting your vagina to anything dodgy, even if Gwyneth Paltrow tells you it’s a good idea.

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Yoni Egg Beginners Guide

Upon receiving your yoni egg you will want to give it a thorough cleaning. Cleanse your yoni gem in warm water with a light non-harsh soap.

Prepare:

Yoni eggs go far beyond strengthening and toning the yoni. To get the most out of your yoni egg journey, you will want to clear, charge and bond with your yoni egg before using.

Clearing your yoni gem will remove any lingering negative energy that it may have picked up before coming to you. One way to clear your yoni egg is through burning sage. Smudge your yoni egg by burning sage over your crystal allowing the cleansing smoke to absorb the yoni egg and surrounding area.

After you have cleared your yoni egg you will want to charge her. A gemstone never loses it’s earth given energy, however it is always a good idea to give it some extra juice. You can charge your yoni egg in sun or moon light: Place your gemstone under the sun or moon light. Let sit for a couple hours or as long as you feel is needed.

You’re almost ready to begin your practice, but first try bonding and connecting with your yoni egg. Set your intentions for what you want to accomplish out of your journey. Hold the crystal in the palms of your hand, state your intentions out loud or in your head. Repeat your intentions until you feel they are set.

How to insert:

Inserting your yoni egg is simple and fun. We recommend inserting with the tip pointing down, however, either way is perfectly fine. Inserting a yoni egg is just like inserting a tampon with no applicator. Some yoni eggs have a drilled hole so you can add string for easy retrieval, or to add a weight for vaginal weightlifting (pictured below). Don’t worry, your yoni egg can’t get stuck! It can only go as far as your cervix, which acts as a wall, keeping her with in the vaginal canal only. Check out our illustration below which show just how it’s done.We do not sell weights. Get creative, find something around the house!

How to use:

Once your yoni egg is in, there are a few different way to use her:

  • Exercise
  • Meditate
  • Yoni breathing
  • Sex

Check out the all the detailed uses and exercises

How to Remove:

Removing your yoni/jade egg is simple; get into a deep squat position and push out with your vaginal muscles. If needed, you may use your fingers to scoop the yoni egg out or try a little jump up and down. For string users, give it a gentle tug (think removing a tampon and allow her to glide out slowly and easily).

I Shoved A Stone Yoni Egg Up My Vagina To Make My Orgasms Stronger

A few years ago, I got my vagina pierced.

It was the sexiest and most outrageous thing I’d ever done with her (yes, I call my vag “her”). I felt invigorated, powerful. Seriously, what’s sexier than sticking a sparkling diamond right above your clitoris?

Lately, though, I’ve been dying to take my feminine sensuality even further.

It didn’t take me long to stumble upon the yoni egg, a heavy stone used to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. Yoni is a Sanskrit word for sacred womb, so the eggs are used for both spiritual awakening and to align the heart chakras.

I spent a weekend doing research and found that each version of the egg has different sensual and healing powers, targeting everything from PMS to creativity. Strengthening your pelvic floor through the yoni egg can even result in a stronger core, better bladder control and more intense orgasms.

For my first try, my Facebook friend, a yoni expert, helped me pick out a jade gemstone from Etsy.

You’re supposed to insert the egg into your vagina like a tampon and use your pelvic floor to hold it in as you go about your day. For whatever reason, this all sounded like a breeze. My vagina is strong and mighty, so why wouldn’t I be able to do this?

Jade yoni eggs bring about calm, prosperity, stability and balance. Since I’ve been struggling with finding work-life harmony, I put my faith in one tiny green egg.

I’m pretty chummy with my kitty cat, so when the egg arrived, I was ecstatic. I laid down on my bed and spread my legs, trying my best to relax. Using my index finger and thumb, I slid it up past my vaginal opening. It was slick and a little cold but, for the most part, settled comfortably into my canal.

As I stood up, I could feel the weight of the egg sliding out. Before I could even clench, the egg hit the floor. I was disappointed that my p*ssy was so weak.

I couldn’t go to work with an egg rolling around in my leggings or dropping in the toilet (yeah, that happened), so I tried the Elvie, a more tech-savvy version of yoni egg.

Elvie Kegel Exerciser, $199, Amazon

Elvie is like your vagina’s Fitbit, a light green egg-shaped device that gives your vagina a five-minute workout. In those five minutes, you’re prompted by the Elvie app to lift — squeezing your kegel muscles — and relax periodically.

In many ways, this is better than the stone version of the yoni egg. As you squeeze your muscles, your app actually scores your progress and lets you know exactly how strong your pelvic floor is getting.

On my first day, I learned I have zero vagina strength.

After that first egg drop, I was discouraged. No woman wants to think her vagina is feeble. It’s the equivalent of a man’s ego after he hears his five-inch Johnson isn’t getting the job done.

So, I committed to two vagina workouts a day: one before work and another once I got home at night. Between workouts, I practiced Kegels to get my genital gains up, since I figured it would take extra work to get my vagina up to snuff.

I can’t lie, it’s weird to sit in meetings while squeezing and releasing my loins, but, hey, I had to step my vagina game up. The first two days I clocked in at about 13 percent on target and 45 lift strength, which was decent.

However, I knew my vagina could do better.

A few days into the exercises, my vagina strength and my orgasms were stronger.

By day four, my lift strength score had shot up to 56 percent, and I was ready to test the theory that a stronger vag makes for a better orgasm.

I’m a masturbation enthusiast, so let’s just say I was happy to be hands-on for this experience. Instantly, I knew this particular climax felt different. I was more sensitive and felt a stronger tightening down below.

According to Women’s Health, a strong vagina will allow you to achieve an orgasm from positions you wouldn’t typically get aroused. I look forward to testing that theory with a man, as well.

I learned that my vagina is the portal to better mental and physical health.

I have been overlooking my most personal muscle for far too long.

I was convinced some vagina jewelry and grade-A bedroom performances would send my feminine sensuality through the roof. However, it was sticking a small green egg into my sacred womb that finally empowered me.

The yoni eggs helped my posture, tightened my lower abs and helped me sit up straight. They eased my menstrual cramps and relieved stress and anxiety.

Though I didn’t use the chakra-aligning jade stone after the first day, exercising the source of my feminine magic with the Elvie gave me a newfound appreciation for my anatomy.

Elvie Kegel Exerciser, $199, Amazon

Goop Settled a Lawsuit Over Jade Egg Health Claims—Here’s Why You Still Shouldn’t Put One in Your Vagina

First, Gwyneth Paltrow raved about vagina steaming. Then her lifestyle website, Goop, wanted you to stick a $66 rock up your hoo-ha. Now, Goop has settled a lawsuit over the unscientific health claims made to sell those rocks.

A little background: In 2017, Goop posted a story called “Better Sex: Jade Eggs for Your Yoni,” which claimed that these eggs—supposedly an ancient “guarded secret of Chinese royalty” used by queens and concubines—have the “power to cleanse and clear” making them “ideal for detox, too.” The article also claimed putting a jade egg into your vagina for hours at a time could improve your sex life, balance your menstrual cycle, and “intensify feminine energy,” among other things.

The jade eggs sold out. But according to the lawsuit, those claims were not backed by “competent and reliable scientific evidence,” the LA Times reported. In an email to the Times, a Goop spokesperson said the company wanted to settle the suit “quickly and amicably.” Customers who bought jade eggs between January 12 and August 31, 2017 are also eligible for a refund.

RELATED: 5 Things Your Vagina Can Tell You About Your Health

The lawsuit means Goop can no longer make certain health claims about jade eggs, but they can still be sold. However, women’s health experts Health spoke to say you should steer clear. Walking around with a rock clenched in your lady parts is just the latest addition to the list of things you shouldn’t do to your vagina.

“Many people have this idea that if it’s natural it must be good, useful, and not harmful,” Lauren Streicher, MD, associate clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Northwestern University and author of Sex Rx: Hormones, Health and Your Best Sex Ever, tells Health. “To which I always say, arsenic is natural, but that’s certainly harmful.”

Jen Gunter, MD, a San Francisco-based ob-gyn and author of The Vagina Bible, warns that using a jade egg really could hurt you. “The stones are really porous, so I’m not sure how it could be cleaned or sterilized between uses,” she tells Health. Nasty bacteria (like the kind that cause toxic shock syndrome or bacterial vaginosis) could get lodged in the nooks and crannies, and then get reintroduced into the vagina every time the egg is used, says Dr. Gunter. “That’s especially an issue when one of the recommended ways to use it is sleeping with it in. We don’t recommend that tampons or menstrual cups be left in for longer than 12 hours and those are either disposable or cleanable.”

Dr. Streicher also worries that one of these slippery stones could actually get stuck in your vagina, and that you could potentially scratch your vaginal wall trying to retrieve it. (She’s seen this happen to clients with sex toys.)

RELATED: The Best and Worst Foods for Your Vagina

While Goop claimed using a jade egg will help strengthen your pelvic floor, both Dr. Gunter and Dr. Streicher point out that leaving a weight inside of your vagina all day long isn’t a healthy training method. “You want to contract and relax, not have contract continually,” says Dr. Gunter. “Contracting constantly is like doing half of a bicep curl and not finishing it—that’s not how you work on a muscle.”

If you want to strengthen your pelvic floor, Dr. Gunter recommends sticking with exercises that have been proven to work, like kegels. You could also buy a device specifically designed for pelvic floor training (like Elvie or PeriCoach)—they’re made from safe, cleanable materials.

And as far as the other so-called benefits go, Dr. Gunter says there’s no truth to them, simply because “there’s no such thing as magic.” Granted, she does believe that some women may feel short-term benefits from these eggs because of the placebo effect. “But this is a potentially harmful placebo—both from a possible risk of infection and from how this practitioner is recommending you use them,” says Dr. Gunter.

RELATED: 11 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Vibrators

There are plenty of effective ways to address the problems this jade egg supposedly solves. If you’re having sexual issues, for instance, Dr. Streicher recommends trying to hone in on what the root of the problem is, and then figuring out an effective solution. For example, if you’re struggling to reach orgasm, Dr. Streicher advises taking some time to get to know your body through masturbation: “Find out where your clitoris is and how to stimulate it. Or invest in a good vibrator, which has been scientifically proven to address this challenge.”

Most importantly, it’s crucial to realize there’s no cure-all for your problems, says Dr. Streicher. And even if there was, it likely wouldn’t come in the form of a product promoted by a celebrity. “Just the fact that they’re famous, doesn’t mean they have some insider knowledge,” she says.

A better solution is to seek help from an actual doctor, rather than rely on a mystical egg to fix everything. Especially since, as Dr. Streicher points out, the questionable benefits of the product are just not worth the potential harm.

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Goop is having a bit of a bumpy time. Last month, Gwyneth Paltrow’s wellness juggernaut settled a $145,000 consumer protection lawsuit over one of its most infamous products, stone “yoni eggs” mean to be inserted into the vagina. Goop claimed the eggs helped “regulate hormones and menstrual cycles, prevent uterine prolapse, and increase bladder control,” which regulators in California asserted were not scientifically supported claims. While Goop removed the offending language, it continues to sell the products for $55 and $66.

Now those eggs are under fire again, this time for their origin story.

Goop first described the benefits of yoni eggs in a now removed article titled “Better Sex: Jade Eggs for Your Yoni.” In it, the “beauty guru/healer/inspiration/friend Shiva Rose” called the eggs a “strictly guarded secret” used by Chinese queens and concubines to strengthen Kegels in order to please emperors sexually. A Goop spokesperson told Quartz last year that the eggs are sourced from Rose, who did not immediately respond to a request for comment for this story.

Goop.com The article, a Q+A with Shiva Rose that contains the origin story of yoni eggs, has now been pulled from Goop’s website. Goop did not say when or why it was removed.

The study by researchers Jennifer Gunter and Sarah Parcak sought evidence that jade vaginal eggs were recommended or used in sexual health practices in ancient Chinese culture, as the original Goop article claimed. To do so, they analyzed 5,000 jade objects from four major Chinese art and archaeology collections. They found a variety of objects—from jewelry to weapons to furniture—but only found one jade egg (which was from the Russian House of Fabergé and not for vaginal use), and two objects for sexual purposes, a hollow bronze phallus and a jade butt plug. The study also mentioned there was no indication of jade eggs in scholarly writing on sex in ancient China.

Goop had previously filed the egg article under its vague “Ancient Modality” label, which gives the following caveat: “this practice is nearly as old as time—many find value in it, even if modern-day research hasn’t caught up yet (it’s possible the practice will never attract its attention).”

Gunter, a San Francisco based OB/GYN, blogger, and well-known Goop critic, has previously called the eggs “garbage,” and warned against their potential health implications, including the proliferation of bacteria, and issues with excessively contracted vaginal muscles. But she doubts that her latest research will have an impact on whether or not Goop continues to sell the eggs: “Hard data on efficacy and safety does not appear to have an impact on whether GOOP sells a product,” she wrote by email. “They sell a large variety of supplements and are expanding in that area despite the ever-growing body of literature that those products are at best useless and at worst have the potential for harm.”

The study follows a complaint filed against Goop this weekend with the UK’s National Trading Standards and the Advertising Standards Authority. The Good Thinking Society, a non-profit that campaigns against pseudoscience, submitted 113 claims from Goop’s website which it says are in breach of advertising laws. Out of these claims, the complaint highlights a vitamin cocktail Goop sells called “The Mother Load,” noting that it may provide an excess of vitamin A that is potentially dangerous to pregnant women. Dr. Susan Beck, SVP of Goop’s science and research division told Quartz that “when used as recommended, goop’s the Mother Load supplements are safe during pregnancy.”

Goop did not, however, respond to a request for comment regarding its jade egg claims.

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Woman Gets Hard Boiled Egg Stuck Inside Her, Husband Tries Removing It With Chopsticks

A young couple in Shanghai were forced to seek medical assistance to remove a hard-boiled egg from the woman’s vagina after a sex game went wrong.

Doctors at the Shanghai People’s Liberation Army No. 411 hospital successfully removed the egg.

According to the woman, her partner inserted the peeled , hard-boiled egg into her vagina to achieve more stimulation during sex. Shortly afterwards, the woman complained of an unusual sensation in her lower abdomen and the pair went for help.

The couple, both in their early twenties, visited the hospital as a last resort after trying to remove the egg by the woman jumping up and down and by trying to prise the egg out of her insides using a spoon and chopsticks.

Guo Xinxin, gynecologist at the PLA’s No. 411 Hospital, explained the couple had put her health at risk and she was fortunate the egg did not come apart in the process.

Guo added: “If not removed quickly, the egg could begin to rot and cause an infection.”

Forking hell

Doctors in Canberra removed a 10-centimetre fork from the penis of a 70-year-old man who inserted it into his urethra in an attempt to pleasure himself.

The unusual case, documented in an International Journal of Surgery case report, saw the man turn up at the Canberra Hospital emergency department with a bleeding sexual organ last August.

According to the Canberra Times, the man told doctors he had inserted the cutlery into himself around 12 hours earlier. Doctors were able to feel the fork from the outside and removed the item using forceps and lubrication while the patient was under general anaesthetic.

In the report, entitled An Unusual Urethral Foreign Body, doctors wrote: “It is apparent that the human mind is uninhibited let alone creative. Autoerotic stimulation with the aid of self-inserted urethral foreign bodies has been existent since time immemorial and have presented an unusual but known presentation to urologists.”

Non-stop orgasm

Liz tried drinking and jumping up and down to quell her orgasm YouTube

In a TLC series called Sex Sent Me to the ER, a Seattle woman known as Liz, went to hospital after her orgasm would not stop. An hour into the orgasm, she began to panic, but she finally went to the emergency department after an hour two had passed.

Hospital staff thought she was in labour, until the orgasm passed after three hours.

Liz revealed she “started hopping up and down to see if that would do anything” in her first frenzied hour.

She said: “I started trying to drink wine to see if that would calm down my system. I tried just about every possible thing I could do to stop having an orgasm.”

Love crush

Gregg Casarona weighed 440 pounds when he lost his virginity to his then-girlfriend Jen Gerakaris, which sent her to hospital. Casarona recently revealed how his weight forced her head through a sheet-rock wall of the Long Island basement they were in.

Thinking he had killed her, he soon realised she was unconscious. Gerakaris was later diagnosed with a concussion.

Casarona said: “My initial reaction was, ‘I killed her. This is my first time. And Jen is dead.'”

“Fortunately she saw the funny side and wanted to lighten the mood. As she freed her head, she asked: ‘Why did you stop?'”

Whats a jade egg

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